So long, Seattle SuperSonics

Posted on Thu Jul 03, 2008 at 10:02:30 AM EST in NBA
More on: SuperSonics, NBA, Oklahoma City, David Stern, fans (all tags)

You shall be missed

A lot of people have a lot of problems with the way David Stern is running the NBA. Basically, they think he's letting the league go straight down the drain while becoming a laughingstock in the process. Between the referee gambling scandal, the end of an era in Seattle and the drafting of Joakim Noah, some fans are simply fed up with the situation and they're not going to take it anymore. Here's one of the thousands of fan resignation letters currently flooding the NBA's home office in New York.

Dear Commissioner Stern,

I have been an NBA fan since birth, rooting the majority for my home state team, the Chicago Bulls through thick and thin times.

But the news coming from Seattle is disheartening. I am through with these games, in which owners of professional sports franchises hang cities like Seattle by the balls until they scream 'uncle' on a new arena. That's not how it was growing up watching Jordan and Pippen play. Jordan himself said the old Chicago Stadium was a better venue than the United Center, to which he compared it to a shopping mall.

And so in situations like this, where Clay Bennett and Co., single handedly ripped the SuperSonics from Seattle, a 41-year old franchise; that I submit my fan resignation letter to the once proud National Basketball Association.

I no longer want to be involved with anything from or with this league.

I truly believe the NBA is making a grave, and arrogant, mistake shunning the Seattle market. The over/under for the Oklahoma City team is 3 years for me. Then they'll turn into a Memphis organization, or a Charlotte Bobcats organization (sorry Mike).

You, Commissioner Stern turned a blind eye to the economics of Seattle, not even trying to cut a deal with the lawmakers. You just showed up to the capital, whining about a new stadium. You are a hazard to this league. I feel for the good of the game, you should leave the NBA with someone that knows how to run it.

This league hasn't been the same since June 1998, when MJ made the shot over Bryon Russell in Utah.

I'm done.

Sincerely,

Ryan K.

Of course, there are plenty of pissed-off blowhards sending in video responses on the matter too. God bless modern technology.

Links:
[YardBarker.com]: NBA fan resignation letter

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All of L.A. will soon be sporting Baron Davis beards

Posted on Wed Jul 02, 2008 at 11:11:12 AM EST in NBA
More on: Baron Davis, Clippers, NBA, video, funny (all tags)

Baron Davis stunned the basketball world by bolting from Golden State for one of the most pathetic franchises ever in existence: the Clippers. There's really only two ways this can work out for B-Dizzle, a) he helps turn around a team's fortunes, dotting the NBA landscape with two relevant Los Angeles squads or b) he looks back in a few years and says "Dear Lord, what have I done?" Either way, Clipper Nation (if there is such a thing) wins big. The fans finally have a legitimate star to root for and he's a hometown hero to boot. Davis deserves a lot of credit for making such a gigantic leap of faith, but, frankly, we think the City of Angels owes this guy a beer for being the influencing factor in the move. After all, how could B.D. resist this sultry serenade home?

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No anal fissures here (sorry Kaz Matsui), but these are still some really strange injuries

Posted on Mon Jun 30, 2008 at 11:42:39 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: injuries, ouch, strange, MLB, NFL, NHL, NBA (all tags)

We called in sick to work today and told our boss that we were "murdered and then set on fire" while celebrating our birthdays. He's a total moron, so he bought it, but we have to bring in a doctor's note which we'll be forging during Judge Judy this afternoon. Anyways, while we were surfing the web and finishing off a six-pack of Bud Ice, we came across The Hungry Actor's list of Top 10 Strange Sports Injuries and realized that our excuse wasn't so farfetched after all.

10. Brian Griese trips over his pet poodle and sprains his ankle.

9. John Smoltz burns himself while ironing a shirt he was wearing.

8. Tom Glavine breaks a rib while vomiting up an inflight meal.

7. Brandon Inge pulls his oblique while readjusting a pillow on his couch.

6. Glenallen Hill, an extreme arachnaphobic had a nightmare about spiders and while fleeing the spiders he fell into a glass table and received multiple cuts over his entire body.

5. Denny McLain goes to sleep in good health and wakes up with four dislocated toes.

4. Muggsy Bogues misses the second half after accidentally inhaling the fumes from an ointment being used in a halftime treatment.

3. Adam Eaton stabs himself in the stomach with a paring knife trying to remove the packaging of a DVD.

2. Clarence "Climax" Blethen thought he looked meaner when he pitched without his false teeth in. Unfortunately for him he left them in his back pocket while sliding into second and he bit himself on butt.

1. Bret Barberie failed to wash his hands, after making nachos with hot sauce and chili peppers, before he put in his contact lenses. The extreme burning cause him to miss one game.

Honorable Mention: Chris Hanson misses while chopping wood and severely cuts his leg landing himself on the DL for the season; Lionel Simmons developed tendinitis from playing too many video games; Manny Cordova falls asleep in a tanning bed and receives burns so severe he has to miss time; Sammy Sosa sneezes multiple times in the clubhouse prompting a series of back spasms which puts him out of the lineup.

We call dibs on No. 5. We're planning on calling in sick next Monday too. Three-day 4th of July weekend, here we come!

Links:
[The Hungry Actor]: Top 10 Strange Sports Injuries

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Odds and Ends: Goggles, it's a Lakers thing

Posted on Thu Jun 26, 2008 at 01:12:13 PM EST in NBA
More on: goggles, Wonderlic Test, NBA, Tom Brady, David Beckham, John Daly, Kid Rock, golf, Gina Carano, MMA, Renaldo Balkman, video, skateboarding, Odds and Ends (all tags)

As kids, if you wore glasses then you were probably going to get made fun of. That's just one of the many sad facts of childhood. However, once kids get older and mature, they realize that making insulting comments about someone's appearance is ridiculously petty...except in sports. So, here's On Deck Sports list of the Top 5 Goggled Athletes. Just get a load of these four-eyed freaks.

5. Kurt Rambis

4. James Worthy

3. Horace Grant

2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

1. Chris Sabo

And let's not forget about Dwyane Wade who has the thickest set of beer goggles we've ever seen on a pro athlete.

In other news...

[The World of Isaac]: Vince Young fails the NBA Wonderlic Test

[MensVogue.com]: Tom Brady and David Beckham are sexy. We get it already!

[FanHouse]: John Daly and Kid Rock go together like cigarettes and strip clubs

[MMARated.com]: Gina Carano talks about being a female badass

[PostingAndToasting.com]: Renaldo Balkman's New York Knickmobile

[Hugging Harry Reynolds]: Star Wars Sports, starring Eric Mangino as Jabba the Hut

[YouTube.com]: Watch out, the Ax Murderer has a blade!...And he's shaving another man with it??? WTF?!

And finally, skateboards finally get a small measure of revenge against humans for years of abuse.

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Odds and Ends: The luckiest SOB in all of sports

Posted on Mon Jun 23, 2008 at 01:27:22 PM EST in NBA
More on: Marko Jaric, NBA, lucky, Javon Kearse, Pele, movies, MLB, George Carlin, Wimbledon, college, video, Lou Pinella, Cubs, White Sox, ouch, Odds and Ends (all tags)

The guys over at Rumors and Rants are still stewing over the fact that a virtual-nobody in the NBA like Marko Jaric can be engaged to megamodel Adrianna Lima. Hey, aren't we all? But Jaric isn't the only lucky bastard in the world of sports. So, here's their list of "The Luckiest Guys In Sports History."

Marko Jaric - Engaged to Adrianna Lima

Jim Sorgi - Peyton Manning's Backup

Sam Cassell - 2008 Celtics

Eric Gagne - 2007 Boston Red Sox

Scott Podsednik - Married to Lisa Dergan

Christian Laettner - The Dream Team

Tony Romo - The Tail He Pulls

Jud Buechler - Three Titles With The Bulls

Jeremy Shockey - Giants Super Bowl Win

And speaking of lucky, there's no way we can forget about this lucky dog.

In other news...

[Undrafted Free Agent]: Javon Kearse does his best Cedric Benson impersonation

[SI.com]: Pele gets no respect from the younger generation

[Pyle of List]: Sports movie coaches nominated for the HOF

[CNN.com]: 8-year-old knows more about baseball than most beat reporters

[Tirico Suave]: George Carlin, you will be missed greatly

[Mondesishouse.com]: A day of indulgence

[COEDMagazine.com]: The Babes of Wimbledon 2008

[CollegeOTR.com]: Celebrities' kid's colleges revealed

[JoshQPublic.com]: Worst. Strip club. Ever.

[Can't Stop The Bleeding]: Worst. Rap battle. Ever.

And finally, here's a guy dropping a subtle hint that he really, really wants a pool.

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With the first and second picks in the 2008 Draft, the Miami Heat select...?

Posted on Mon Jun 23, 2008 at 11:02:18 AM EST in NBA
More on: Heat, NBA, rumors, Draft, Michael Beasley, Derrick Rose, Dwyane Wade, Bulls (all tags)

You might think the NBA season is over now that the Boston Celtics have earned the franchise's 17th championship, but there is no time to rest. In case you've forgotten, the Draft is right around the corner, Thursday to be exact, meaning there's a whole lotta wheelin' and dealin' going on. Actually, there has been no real wheelin' or dealin' just yet, but the rumors are defiantly flying around. The most interesting bit of speculation we've come across originates out of Miami where the Heat are desperate to turn around a horrible 2007-08 campaign.

Rumors have begun swirling that the Heat would consider trading Chicago native Dwyane Wade to the Bulls for the first pick in the draft, plus Tyrus Thomas and Larry Hughes. Miami has the second selection, so such a trade could land the Heat the two top prospects in Memphis guard Derrick Rose and Kansas State forward Michael Beasley. Look for the Timberwolves to select UCLA forward Kevin Love with the third pick.

They'd be an infant team in a grown man's league if the trade went down, but nothing could possibly frustrate Pat Riley more than what he went through last season. We say, "Git-R-Done!"

Links:
[Draft Nation]: Sunday's NBA Draft Rumors
[Boston.com]: A Kidd shall lead them

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It's the Late Show with Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen

Posted on Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 11:56:37 AM EST in NBA
More on: NBA, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, David Letterman, tv, Celtics (all tags)

When a professional football player reaches the pinnacle of their sport, they usually go to Disney World or Disneyland. But when NBA ballers finally get their giant hands on the Larry O'Brien trophy they have their own special place they like to visit. Uncle Dave's house.

The Celts' victory lap started last night as Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen yukked it up with David Letterman. The dynamic duo told Dave that appearing on "The Late Show" is one of the sweeter spoils of winning an NBA title.

Letterman greeted his guests by saying, "Congratulations to both you guys and thank you very much for being here. I know, I mean, it's crazy that you were in the big celebration and it's still continuing now, isn't it? And you're probably saying to yourselves right now, 'Why are we here?'"

Allen and Garnett said it was an honor to be on the show. "This'll solidify when you've won something, you've got to do Letterman," said Garnett.

Added Allen: "I think in the 80s when you won a championship, you said, 'We're going to Disneyland... In the year 2000, we say, 'We're going to David Letterman."

See, we told ya so.

Oh, and Ray, it's currently the year 2008.

Links:
[Boston.com]: `Late Show' with the Celtics
[Celtics Blog]: Allen, KG chat with Letterman

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Most obnoxious sports traditions

Posted on Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 10:53:27 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: sports, traditions, annoying, NFL, NBA, NASCAR, MLB (all tags)

Why do we love sports? Oh, let us count the ways. The list starts with the simple addiction to competition and ends with all the sexy girlfriends and wives of the athletes. There's a whole lot in between, but we forgot what it was because we started thinking about how lucky Reggie Bush is. Anyways, for as much as we love the world of sports, there are plenty of things out there that just really annoy the hell out of us and, apparently, there's a lot that annoys the guys over at The Love of Sports as well. Here's their list of the Most Obnoxious Sports Traditions.

8. John Sterling: "Yankees Win!"

7. Detroit Red Wings' Octopi

6. "CHARGE!"

5. Tomahawk Chop

4. Sleeveless Shirts in NASCAR

3. Gooooaaaaaallllll!

2. Hats & Mint Juleps at the Kentucky Derby

1. The Wave

Wait a minute, let's not forget about John Mason's "Deeeeetroit basketball! or the creepy little kids who copy him.

Links:
[The Love of Sports]: Most Obnoxious Sports Traditions

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Celtics certify their championship with a beatdown of epic proportions

Posted on Wed Jun 18, 2008 at 09:29:33 AM EST in NBA
More on: Celtics, Lakers, NBA, The Finals, championship, video (all tags)

The Celtics finally completed their 22-year journey back to the NBA championship while Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen all had their careers "certified" as Garnett said during his interview moments after the final buzzer. The 131-92 annihilation of the Los Angeles Lakers in Game 6 was the most lopsided championship-clinching game in league history, delivering a massive spinning back fist to Kobe Bryant's legacy as the "next" Michael Jordan. After all, can you imagine Mike ever dropping a Finals-clincher by 39 points?

After the game, fans flocked to the streets to celebrate their 17th banner which sounds like a ton of fun, but is really just confusing, frustrating agony. Just try to enjoy yourself amidst a sea of knuckleheads like this:

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Odds and Ends: So, you think your fantasy team name is creative, huh?

Posted on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 12:50:21 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: fantasy sports, Michael Wilbon, Forrest Griffin, Quinton Jackson, Terrelle Pryor, Becky Hammon, NBA, Notre Dame, Urban Meyer, UFC, Dana White, pro wrestling, Tiger Woods, Jeff Van Gundy, Odds and Ends (all tags)

"Itchy Pujols": now that's creative!

There's no avoiding it any longer, fantasy sports are American males', and some females', primary obsession in life. You might say that you love your spouse and your kids, but we know where the true emotion lies. Remember when you blew off going to church so you could fine-tune your lineup before the early kickoffs? Or what about the time you skipped your kid's recital in order to watch a Monday Night Football blowout because Jason Elam was your kicker and you trailed by seven points? Of course, the biggie was when you forgot about your anniversary while pondering over the name of your team. Well, thanks to FantasyTeamNames.net, you can avoid the last disaster by simply stealing someone else's creative moniker. Here's a list of the current top ten fantasy team names.

10.Cleavage Rocks
9.Suck My Ditka
8.Bartolo Colonoscopy
7.Fuhrious
6.Vanek at the Disco
5.Human Growth Whore Moans
4.Travis Henry is My Dad
3.My Vick In A Box
2.Itchy Pujols
1.Byrnes When I Peavy

In other news...

[WashingtonPost.com]: Willie Buns explains his run-in with sex kitten/geezer skeezer Kendra

[MMAMania.com]: Forget about Kimbo for a second. Rampage vs. Griffin is right around the corner!

[WaitingForNextYear.com]: One day closer to the field for Terrelle Pryor

[Newsday.com]: What?! Becky Hammon is a filthy traitor!? Wait, who's Becky Hammon?

[OnDeckFantasy.com]: Top 10 NBA ballers that you'd probably consider punching in the face

[Bleacher Report]: Notre Dame hates Urban Meyer

[MMA Stomping Grounds]: Dana White still has a big [expletive deleted] announcement to make, just you [expletive deleted] wait and see

[phillyBurbs.com]: Wrestling's greatest feuds - Taz vs. Sabu

[Tirico Suave]: Tiger Woods, you do not impress Harvey Bars

[YouTube.com]: Wii Fit, it's not just for chicks anymore

And finally, from Awful Announcing, more Deep Thoughts with our boy Jeff Van Gundy.

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