Category: Soccer

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Soccer

Croatian Soccer fans are racist idiots


It seems every story we do on soccer is tied to racism. The governing body of European soccer, UEFA, has warned Croatian soccer officials that they are in danger of getting tossed out of the 2008 European Championships if there are any more racist incidents from their fans because they have a history of racist behavior. In 2004 the Croatian Federation was fined because black French players were racially abused and white supremecist banners were displayed.


UEFA’s William Gaillard warned: “We won’t tolerate racism. We have had many problems with this in Eastern Europe before and Croatia have been among the worst offenders.

But we are determined this will not happen again and will send out a strong message to stop any incidents during the game against England.

FIFA have recently introduced new rules which can, in extreme cases, lead to a team being docked points or even being excluded from the competition.

Because of the problems we have encountered with Croatian teams in the past, they have been warned future sanctions will be much heavier than any which have been imposed for previous incidents.

Everyone (except the idiot fans) is absolutely livid about the human swastika that 200 Croatian fans formed at a game in Italy. Shouldn’t security have broken this up? Only in soccer is racism so blatant and rampant. Say what you want about ugly Americans but we keep comments about players to their mothers, wives, and pill popping — not the color of their skin.

You know, it’s sad when a brilliant idea like creating a message with people at a stadium is wasted on something like this. Imagine how great it would have been if fans spelled out FU TO at the Eagles-Cowboys game last Sunday.

Links:
[IHT]: Roundup: Croatia warned over racist chants

[The Sun UK]: Nazty

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Soccer

Brazilian ref allows goal scored by ball boy

Watch this video of a ball boy scoring a goal. After the opposing team shot wide of the net, the ball boy casually dribbled a ball back into play and tapped it past the goalie and over the line. It was so obvious that it wasn’t a real goal but the referee awarded the goal to Santacruzense anyway and the game ended up in a 1-1 tie. On top of that, the “goal” happened in the 89th minute. And even worse, the referee was the first woman to have ever reffed a Brazilian National Championship match. We bet the rest of the women who have hopes of becoming a soccer referee are pissed. Also, check out the pavlovian response of the announcer.

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Soccer

The Referee is a Wanker


A soccer team from Essex named Stambridge United (clearly not English Premiere League) have their new unis banned because they have “The Referee is a Wanker” on them. They actually played a few games with those shirts before the league decided they were too offensive. As you know, you can practically put anything on a soccer uniform if you pay enough money. Usually it’s Vodafone or Nokia or whatever but this team was sponsored by an author who wrote a book called “The Referee is a Wanker” about football chants.

We’re sad that this didn’t go through. It was only a matter of time before corporate greed made its way into American sports (remember the whole Spiderman on the basepads brouhaha?) and we could have anything we wanted on football uniforms. “The referee is a wanker”? Imagine if Jeremy Shockey bought the rights to his own uniform and put “Bill Parcells is a homo”.

Or the millions they’d make from fans of rival teams buying the rights or paying money just to retain the rights. (Yankees vs Red Sox anyone?) Sure it wouldn’t be worth it to any of the big leagues but this is a minor league promotion waiting to happen.

Links:
[Sun UK]: Footie team ‘W*nker’ strip ban

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Soccer

Materazzi confirms he insulted Zidane’s sister

Marco Materazzi, the guy whose verbal jabs lead to Zidane melting down and headbutting him in the chest and leading to Zidane’s ejection, confirmed today that he insulted Zidane’s sister.


n Tuesday’s interview with the Gazzetta dello Sport, Materazzi disclosed that after he held his opponent’s shirt, Zidane said: “If you want, I’ll give you the jersey later.”

“I responded that I preferred his sister, it’s true,” Materazzi said. “It wasn’t something nice, true. But luckily there have been dozens of players who have confirmed that a lot worse things are said on the field.

Now Materazzi is a dirty pig but really, we think Zidane overreacted a little bit here. When it was first reported that Materazzi called him a “son of a terrorist whore”, we all sort of understood why Zidane flew off the handle. But an insult to his sister isn’t quite the same thing. In the heirarchy of relatives you can’t insult, it’s 1) mother 2) grandmother, 3) wife and kids, 4) sister 5) father and finally 6) brother.

Materazzi also said that his door was open if Zidane wanted to make peace. Hey jackass, considering you’re the one who insulted him and got him sent off and shamed on international television, perhaps you should be the one apologizing.

[AZ Central]: Materazzi insulted Zidane’s sister

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Soccer

We need more things to bet on


Talk about pressuring your kids. A man in England placed 100 pounds at 100/1 that his son would play for the English football team by the time he was 30. Well, that son got to play Wednesday in the second half of a game between England and Greece. That man is now 10,000 pounds richer.

Another man put 20 pounds at 5000/1 that his grandson would become the captain of the England team. For those mathematically challeged, he stands to collect 100,000 pounds if it comes to pass.

As far as we know, there is no such wagering in the United States. And even if there were, what is the point? Making it to the professional level is already like winning the lottery. What’s an extra $10,000 or $100,000 when phenoms are signing $50M contracts out of college?

Instead, we think there are much better things to wager on. For example, how much of a sure thing was it that Kate Hudson would dump her husband (over the hill rockstar Chris Robinson) for Owen Wilson (the hour long buttlicker) after You, Me and Dupree? That could’ve been easy money. If there’s one thing that England has over us, it’s the ability to make basically any bet you want.

Here are some other sure things we’d bet on:

  • Paris Hilton diagnosed with an STD
  • Britney Spears ends up a fat disgusting pig with 5 kids. (almost there…)
  • The Smoking Gun finds a copy of Tiger Woods’ deal with the devil
  • Barry Bonds is proven to have knowingly used steroids
  • A Trailblazer and a Bengal get together to knock over a liquor store
  • and finally… Jessica Biel’s ass will cause a traffic accident

Links:
[Yahoo]: Man bets that son would play for English soccer team

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Soccer

Odds and Ends: The Head-Butt Song

Apparently a song making fun of Zidane’s headbutt called Coup De Boule is at the top of the French music charts. The song has sold 60,000 copies and 110,000 ring tones. Of course, it is also wildly popular in Japan, where weird pop phenomena go to die. And with this, we are done with Zidane coverage for eternity.

In other news…

[Sportsline]: NBA changes playoff seeding format

[Chicago Sports]: NCAA looks into more bans in S.C. for confederate flag

[Reuters]: Gatlin’s masseur denies sabotage

[SI]: Embarassing moments in baseball history

[eBay]: Bidding for Barry Bonds #715 ball at $137,500

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Soccer

The Incredible Cristiano Ronaldo Action Figure

It seems an English company is still upset at Cristiano Ronaldo for (indirectly) getting Wayne Rooney sent off in the World Cup match between Portugal and England. Check out this ad for a new action figure with “Unique Uppity-Downy” action. The ad references the wink that Ronaldo gave to the Portugese bench after Rooney was sent off.

To be fair though, couldn’t they have made this action figure for almost any of the soccers players in the World Cup?

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Soccer

Playstation and Sex ruined Ronaldinho


Millions of heartbroken Brazilians can blame the French and EA Sports for costing them the World Cup which the Brazilian national team was heavily favored to win. The UK tabloid The Sun reported that Ronaldinho would break curfew and sneak into his girlfriend Alexandra Parressant’s hotel room to have sex all night during the World Cup and then stay up playing 2006 FIFA World Cup on the PS2.

According to Alexandra, he would go to her hotel room almost every night and tear it up.


He is as much a performer in the bedroom as he is on the football pitch. One night he made me scream with such pleasure, the people on the hotel terrace below heard us because my window was open.

However, Paressant won’t take the blame. “Instead, his habit of playing PlayStation after their romps may have knocked his form.” Now, we love the FIFA Germany ’06 game as much as anyone but we also don’t have a model screaming in hotel rooms. Oh, did we mention that she is French? And who knocked Brazil out of the World Cup? We smell a conspiracy here.

Links:
[Hindustan Times]: Ronaldinho’s romps spoiled WC Samba!
[Gamespot]: Sex, PS2 blamed for Brazil star’s WC failure

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Soccer

The ultimate burial ground



How much for the
mascot headstone?

A soccer team in Germany, Hamburg SV, is opening a graveyard near the stadium for…um… die hard fans. The cemetary will only have 500 plots so there’s going to be some (dammit, these puns are unintentional!) stiff competition. Fans can buy a plot for ashes in an urn for $3,150, a single grave goes for $10,000 and a two person plot for $16,000.

This might be the greatest idea for dead people since resurrection. Imagine cementaries devoted to Eagles fans or Indians fans or Cubs fans. Not only would they make tons of money, they’d be the most haunted places on earth until the teams deliver a championship. Nothing puts pressure on team management to win more than a bunch of poltergeist hanging around the team offices. Someone needs to make this happen.

Links:
[Reuters]: German soccer team plans cemetery for die-hard fans

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Soccer

July 14 in Sports History: The El Salvador – Honduras Soccer War

In 1969: We’ve all heard of soccer riots. But a soccer war? Border tensions were escalating between Honduras and El Salvador for years, and a series of World Cup qualifying matches between the two countries spilled over into violence. Visiting fans were attacked and brutalized in each country. In the second game in El Salvador on June 27, Hondurans were attacked, their flag burned, and a girl committed suicide on the field. While the Soccer War was not directly related to soccer and more about the economic disparity between the two countries, the actions during the game in San Salvador caused the two governments to break off diplomatic relations, thus leading to combat. It was believed that over 6,000 people died in the Soccer War, which lasted only four days.