Category: Soccer

soccer

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Soccer

Odds and Ends: Could you shut up, Lionel Richie is trying to work here


Lionel Richie performed at English soccer player John Terry’s wedding this week and he wasn’t too happy about some of the players reactions to his songs:


A witness said: “It was really embarrassing. Toni was looking very anxious about the lads making a real fool of her. When he started singing Hello the boys started chanting back to him as if they were on the football ground terraces. They had downed so much champagne at the reception the guests became really lairy and started shouting over his set.

“In the end he asked the crowd to be quiet and said, `I’ve only got two more songs, please stick with me.’

“When he came off stage he moaned to one of the organisers, `I imagine this is what it’s like at a working men’s club’.

Maybe Lionel is just on edge because his daughter has been knocked up by some dude from the worst band on the planet? (Via The Offside)

In other news…

[USA Today]: Duke lax: alls well that ends with a cash settlement

[RGJ.com]: Golfer’s bad swing sparks brush fire

[Inside Bay Area]: Kyle Petty to drive, broadcast at the same time. Why not have a cup of coffee while he’s at it.

[Newsday.com]: Vin Baker arrested for DWI

[NY Daily News]: Yankees sign 2 players from China

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Even REM bassist/keyboardist/singer fed up with Braves fans

[The Big Lead]: Elijah Dukes calls radio station to confirm that he is insane

And finally, can you idiots stop congratulating Tiger Woods on the birth of his daughter? He doesn’t really give a shit what you think.

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Soccer

Alexi Lalas calls Premiership "inferior product"


We know that Galaxy GM Alexi Lalas is trying to drum up publicity for David Beckham’s arrival in the United States but this is just sheer lunacy:


There’s no accounting for bad taste. That a segment of the world worships an inferior product in the Premiership is their business. English football now has the haves and the have-nots. It’s just that the Premiership have become so skilled in presentation. They took a page out of American football and so now they have Saturday Showdowns and Super Sundays. I love it. This is high-calibre marketing – taking an inferior product and improving it through packaging.

The experts in England talk about David Beckham as if he’s going into semi-retirement. It’s insulting to say Beckham is on his way to Hollywood when he’s coming to play in one of the most competitive leagues in the world. There are a lot of stars who would struggle here.

There’s this delusion that if it’s English then it’s great. But a whole world exists outside of England. That’s reflected in the difficulties they had when everyone ran to the Premiership. Maybe it’s OK for the fan but, for the average development of the players, their game is struggling.

This is tantamount of the Canadian Football League calling out the NFL. Here are five reasons why MLS is not one of the most competitive leagues in the world.

Links:
[Guardian UK]: Premiership inferior, says Lalas

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Soccer

Real Madrid kicks ass on the field, their fans kick ass off of it



Now, who would think that this could get out of
hand?

We probably don’t need to tell you this but soccer fans are some weird dudes. Especially those crazy diehards over in Spain who actually celebrate the winning of a championship and the deportation of the Beckhams to America by rioting! But, seriously, would expect anything less?

After David Beckham’s final game with Real Madrid clinched the club their 30th Spanish league title, thousands and thousands of fans packed downtown Madrid to celebrate. And according to the Interior Minister Alfredo Perez Rubalcaba (try saying that three times fast), everything was pretty peaceful for most of the night. But somehow the high-fives and hugs turned into tear gas and violence and by the end of the episode, over 100 people were reportedly injured during the brawl between cops and fans.

Leave it up to a few bad apples to ruin the celebration of an entire city. Now, we’re not trying to imply that America is filled with the kindest souls or the most polite and courtesy fans. We’ve had our share of sports riots that have giving fans a black eye, both figuratively and literally, but to our credit, the Spurs recent championship celebration didn’t produce any major bloodshed or arrests in either Cleveland or San Antonio. And the NHL finals a few weeks back went off without a hitch as well. But then again, most people don’t care about the NBA or the NHL, and even more people were simply bored to tears by the entire playoffs. It’s kind of hard to be moved to violence when your passion for a sport is less than your passion for reruns of Bill Nye The Science Guy.

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: Police, fans clash after Real Madrid win

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Soccer

That new Gatorade A.M. crap goes right through us too

We thought that Byron Houston’s little incident was going to be enough public exhibitionism for the day but then we were horrified to find out that Houston isn’t the only pervert with no shame to rear his ugly head today. Turns out that some whacky soccer guy (is there any other kind?) named DeMarcus Beasley had a few too many Capri Suns before the game and ended up taking a piss right on the sideline. But he was very subtle about it so that nobody could tell. Of course, we’re guessing that he didn’t know there was a camera focused in on him the entire time.

And unless Zydrunas Ilgauskas or Scot Pollard decides to relieve their frustrations of getting swept out of the finals by the Spurs by flashing pedestrians on the street, we’re not going to bring you anymore news about wieners for the rest of the day. Promise.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Hey, When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

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Soccer

Odds and Ends: Get me the hell out of Haiti


I’ve never been to Haiti but I’m pretty sure it’s not exactly the greatest place in the world. This is based primarily on constant news reports of people dying and the film The Serpert and the Rainbow. Still, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that on a layover in JFK on their way to a tournament in South Korea 13 members of the Haitian Under-17 soccer squad would decide to just bail on the team. “Five or six” have since turned themselves into team officials but rest are still on the lam. You know, they probably would have been better off playing in the tournament first and then ditching the team and seeking refuse in the friendly confines of NYC.

In other news…

[Denver Post]: Apparently, J.R. Smith of the Nuggets is a wanksta

[AP]: The Univ of Montana is down one CB

[Seattle Times]: Jose Guillen is riling up the Wrigley natives

[The Offside]: It beats employing Najeh Davenport as your groundskeeper

[Houston Chronicle]: The artistry (or thuggery) of Bruce Bowen in pictures

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Justine Henin is not ashamed of her herpes

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Soccer

Brazil loves their soccer…some a little too much

Lord knows that we have tried and tried and tried again to tell you just how moronic soccer fans are but then we realized that we really don’t have to do anything to convince people of the sanity or lack there of by these “footballers.” Take 22-year-old Jefferson Ferreira Lima and 26-year-old Jorge Luiz Sampaio Santos; these dudes are a couple of Brazilians who just love their Palmeiras club. In fact, they love their team so much that they were willing to throw a grenade at a bus full of fans from the rival Cruzeiro team.

Is this a joke? A freaking grenade!?! Unfortunately, this the mindset of many soccer fans across the globe after a loss. Hell, this is the mindset of many tackle football fan across the nation, but it’s not too often that you hear of a guy getting stopped in Foxboro with a missile launcher aimed at the Colts’ fan’s booze bus as it heads back to Indy after Peyton Manning leads his team to a road victory.

Listen, we’re all about passion for your team but we just think that trying to commit mass murder by explosive device is a bit overboard. So, soccer dweebs, if you must act a fool then keep it the on-field hijinks like these guys. That way the players can kick your ass for us.

Links:

[MSNBC.com]: Two Brazil soccer fans caught with grenade

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Soccer

This wasn’t the publicity that MLS had in mind when signing Beckham

Various newspapers around the football world (so virtually everywhere but the U.S.) are reporting that David Beckham might be regretting his decision to join the LA Galaxy for five years and $250M.


He will win his 96th cap in the European Championship qualifier against Estonia in Tallinn on Wednesday — a game England must win to re-establish their chances of reaching the Euro 2008 — before returning to Spain to try to clinch his first league title with Real.

But after the success of his comeback, when he laid on England’s goal by John Terry, he believes he may have made a mistake in switching to the low standard played in America, particularly if he is to make a swansong appearance at Euro 2008.

This is probably just sportswriter speculation (aka pulling a story out of you ass) but it certainly can’t be pleasing to MLS and LA Galaxy officials who are basically betting the future of the league on Beckham.  While there has been plenty of press on the Beckham effect — sponsorship of MLS is up and ticket sales for Beckham games home and away are through the roof — the implication that he is simply slumming it in a minor league for the cash isn’t helping the MLS break through to become a major sport in America.

We hope that Beckham’s MLS contract is iron clad because if he bails and finds a way to buy his way out of it, MLS might  as well just fold up tent and start selling assets on ebay.

Links:
[Daily Mail UK]: Beckham fears he has made a huge mistake with Galaxy deal

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Soccer

Soccer guy doubles as on-field security

We don’t know much about soccer. The extent of our knowledge basically involves that we know the sport is called football everywhere else in the world. But we do know what we like and we like when athletes throw the smack down on fans who take to the field; even when those athletes are soccer players. So, here’s a clip of some soccer guy delivering a flying knee that would make James Irvin proud to an idiot fan as he runs around like a chicken with its head chopped off.

If you’re interested in actual names and teams then you should go visit our friends at The Offside. We’re just into “football” for the side dishes of violence, not the athletic competition.

Links:

[The Offside]: A Flying Dropkick is one way to Stop a Pitch Invasion

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Soccer

Soccer fan killed for celebrating



stoning is not funny

There’s a rule that we think everyone should follow: never celebrate excessively when in an opposing team’s stadium. If you go to an away game, you are allowed to celebrate when your team does something good, but make sure it’s mild mannered and not annoying to any who paid good money to cheer on their own team. We have no sympathy for people who get beaten up for being obnoxious pricks or get heckled for sporting their team colors. (Yes, we’re Eagles fans.)

In any case, while heckling and the occasional deserved beatdown can be expected, stomping and stoning a man to death is completely unacceptable.


A Mozambican soccer fan was stoned and stomped to death after celebrating a goal by his side in a premier league match in the southern African nation, Mozambique’s national newspaper reported on Tuesday.

Angry Lichinga fans attacked the unidentified man after he jumped onto a stadium terrace to celebrate Ferroviario’s second goal in the 69th minute, the daily newspaper said. It quoted witnesses as saying that police failed to intervene.

Yep. The beautiful game.

Links:
[The Offside]: The Daily Dose

[Youtube]: Life of Brian – the Stoning

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Soccer

Sofia Loren threatens to get naked


Every yin must have its yang. Every dark must have its light. Every Mitch Williams must have his Joe Carter. And every report of Amanda Beard getting naked in Playboy must be countered with one about Sofia Loren threatening to do a striptease if Napoli gets promoted to Serie A.


I hope that Napoli win these last few games. You watch if we go up I will do a striptease,” she told Gazzetta dello Sport in an interview on Tuesday. “The fans have a total passion, the city deserves promotion.

Sofia Loren is no doubt one of the hottest women in the history of cinema. But she’s also now 72 years old. So unless she plans on traveling 40 years back in time to do this, this is gonna be eye clawingly bad. Now, we’re think this is just a joke but… let’s just make absolutely sure and root on the five opponents the team has left this season. The world, already reeling from Harry Potter’s uncalled for unit, does not need anymore bad nudity.

Links:
[Yahoo]: Napoli fan Sofia Loren to strip if team go up