College Football

Nov 29 in Sports History: the first Army-Navy game

They didn’t even have photos!

In 1890: The first Army-Navy game was played at West Point, NY, with Navy winning 24-0. Considered by many as one of the greatest traditions in sports, it is annually played on the last weekend of the college football season and has been played at numerous sites, including the Polo Grounds, Yankee Stadium and even the Rose Bowl (in 1983). The last four (including this year) were played in Philadelphia. The most significant games of the rivalry were the 1944-45 matchups, when they were the top-ranked teams in the country (Army won both games). Navy has won the last four and holds a slight 50-49 edge with seven ties.

In 1992: New York Jets defensive tackle Dennis Byrd was paralyzed when he collided with a teammate attempting to make a tackle in a game against the Kansas City Chiefs. Byrd’s career was cut short after only four years in the NFL. He has since made a full recovery from the injury.

In 1987: Joe Montana set an NFL record when he completed 22 consecutive passes in a 38-24 victory over the Cleveland Browns at Candlestick Park. Montana, coming off an injury-plagued 1986 season, rebounded to lead the league in touchdown passes and a 102.1 rating in 1987. The completion record was tied this season by the Washington Redskins’ Mark Brunell. (We’ll give Joe Cool the props, however, as he shredded a very good Browns defense while Brunell did it to the Houston Texans, which should carry some type of asterisk.) Donovan McNabb once completed 24 straight passes, but that was over two games.

Washington Redskins

Ethan Albright will be a household name

Do you know who Ethan Albright is? Neither did we until this hilarious mock letter from the folks at the Phat Phree, mostly known for their take on stripe-shirted douchebags. It’s a must read.

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden `07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

Here’s the best part, because you would actually have to do some research to be able to come up with it:

John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a – 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.


[The Phat Phree]: Ethan Albright Strikes Back

Washington Redskins

People really hate Heath Shuler

You know you were a terrible NFL player when someone will go out of their way to keep you out of congress from a state they don’t even live in.

This site is dedicated to keeping Heath Shuler out of Congress, and therefore out of Washington, DC. No, we are not residents of North Carolina’s 11th District, nor could we pick it out on a map (it’s up in the mountains, right?). No, we aren’t working for any of Shuler’s rivals. We simply are Redskins fans and we love the city of Washington. And quite frankly, both are better off since Heath left town, and we don’t want him back. has facts about Heath Shuler — completely irrelevant to his congressional campaign — but they make a very good point in saying that Washington DC is a much better place without Heath Shuler and should stay that way.

And of course, this is politics so why stop at a website when you can create your own television attack ad.

New York Yankees

Odds and Ends (06.1.06): Randy Johnson love child fund

I am reluctantly your father

Can we start a fund for Randy Johnson’s love child? Maybe then she can afford to finally meet her father who won’t even return her phone calls. An Arizona couple won a charity auction to have dinner with Randy Johnson, his wife Lisa, and 20 of their friends. Ironically, the auction was to benefit the notMYkid organization. (You couldn’t make this stuff up.)

It’s too bad we didn’t know about this sooner. I’m sure all the sports bloggers could’ve raised more than $7,000, won the auction, and then invite Randy’s love child to dinner. That, friends, would be high comedy. (via The Hater Nation / Photo from Boston Dirt Dogs)

In other news…

[Yahoo]: Shocking! Sean Taylor gets special treatment and cops a plea

[ESPN]: Avery Johnson’s wife could be charged with assault for mixing it up with Suns fans

[Fire Dusty Baker]: Bad groundskeeping reason for Cubs losing

[Mr. Mack]: The All-Rotten Hall of Fame

[Off Wing Opinion]: Goalie scores all the way across the pitch