General Sports

Beauty and the beast: Gisele joins Mark Cuban on Dancing with the Stars

On Monday, we told you about how Mark Cuban’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars was going to be a total disaster, but a disaster that we were going to be glued to the tube for. Well, now it looks like the show just got a whole lot sexier…and sportier.

Of course, we gotta deal with the sexy first. Tom Brady’s super boo Gisele Bundchen is also being mentioned as a possible contestant though ABC has yet to reveal the actual list. We love the choice if this is true; after all, there is no such thing as too much Bundchen. And with that dumbass Cubes trying to cut a rug every week, we’re going to need some eye candy to help us overcome.

While nothing can top the excitement of having Gisele come to prime time TV, there are a few more sporting icons that will soon be donning glitter and sequence as they cha-cha-cha. Indy champ Helio Castroneves, boxing great Floyd Merriweather Jr., and Mr. Mean and Green himself, Lou Ferrigno, will also be on the show.

Hopefully one season they change the scheduling of this show so that Chad Johnson can get into the mix now that the NFL is cracking down on the end zone celebrations. Until then we’ll be stuck with other dancers like these unconfirmed celebrities: Aaron Carter, Wayne Newton, Jane Seymour, Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, Nia Peeples and Sabrina Bryan. See you on September 24 when Cuban gets schooled by a wax sculpture…oh, wait, that’s Wayne Newton.


[]: Gisele really does have the legs of a dancer

New England Patriots

Who’s your daddy? Why, it’s Tom Brady!

Life can’t get much better fro Tom Brady right now. He was just named the world’s best dresser, the Pats have finally assembled a quality receiving core around him, and he’s got a handful of Super Bowl rings. Oh, yea, he’s also dating the smokin’ hot supermodel Gisele Bundchen. In addition, drooling babes from all seven continents now have a new moniker for the hunky signal caller…D.I.L.F.

Brady’s ex, Bridget Moynahan, gave birth to little boy yesterday and Moynahan’s publicist says that both are doing just fine. Brady left the Patriots preseason workouts in order to see the birth of his first child, but it is unknown if he arrived in time. Even if Brady didn’t make it in time to see the sloppy delivery, he still has an entire lifetime ahead of him to bond with his little man. Who knows, in 17 years Brady could end up being his son’s high school quarterbacks coach. Sound crazy? Not if you’re John Elway.

Elway is leaving the comfortable confines of retirement for a job at his son’s Cherry Creek High School. Jack Elway is the senior QB for the squad so it probably doesn’t hurt any to have possibly the greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL dishing out advice. Of course, Jack has been hearing his old man repeat the same old stories a thousand times now, so it’s really nothing new.

It’s good,” Jack Elway told The Denver Post. “It’s nice to have him out there, but I’ve actually always had him as a coach at home.

But with all the crazy “little league dads” out there, the head coach of the team has to be worried that there will be eventual problems that could result.

As a coach, you’re trying to not have fathers on your staff,” he said, “but this is a little different deal.

Don’t worry Tom, if you keep racking up the yards, TDs and rings then your kid’s coach will make the exact same exception.


[]: It’s a boy for Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady
[]: Elway To Coach Son In High School As QB Coach

New England Patriots

Tom Brady is Tom Brady’s biggest fan

The NFL season is just about to get underway and for all the dudes out there that means Sundays full of beers and barbeque and Monday Night Football/poker night at your buddy’s pad. But for the ladies, the kickoff to the NFL season has a whole other significance: its Tom Brady time!

Rickey Henderson and Chad Johnson better watch out because Tom Brady refers to himself in the third person more than either of those two loudmouths. And who knew that Brady had a persona bigger than Bill Brasky’s? No wonder chicks like Gisele are throwing themselves at his feet.

Green Bay Packers

Odds and Ends: Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre

You ever get the feeling that inside Brett Favre’s head is exactly like that scene in Being John Malkovich and it’s “Favre Favre Favre Favre Favre” all the time? The guy with the biggest ego in all of sports (remember, last year, he called a press conference to tell everyone that he didn’t call a press conference to tell everyone he wasn’t sure whether he would retire…) demanded a trade after the draft but now claims he didn’t demand and a trade and never wanted to be traded. He was just frustrated. And now everyone has to worry about whether Favre will be happy on his shitty 8-8 team.

Of course, the only reason why this drama queen gets so much leeway is because he plays in Green Bay where they boo presidential candidates because he dares say that Peyton Manning might be the greatest QB in NFL history. Bunch of idiots.

In other news…

[Myspace]: Ken Griffey Jr. shares his jock with a Dodgers fan

[Kahlee’s blog]: Hmmm…. a naked female rugby scrum sounds better than it actually is.

[ESPN]: St. Bonaventure baseball coach pulls a Barry Switzer

[Our Book of Scrap]: Another crazy minor league baseball promotion: the world’s tallest baseball player in history

[Fox Sports]: Georgia’s women’s golf coach quits after telling too many “that’s what she said” jokes.

[]: Amanda is your last Houston Texans cheerleader.

And finally, the Inside Track girls are spreading the rumor that Tom Brady will marry Gisele in Rome. Which brings us to case of the blind people over at the Big Lead. TBL is one of our favorite blogs but they actually think Kim “sex tape” Kardashian is hotter than Giselle Bundchen. Gisele is a supermodel with legs up to here… and Kim is a little tramp with a sex tape. How is this even a contest?

New England Patriots

Tom Brady really is going for the baby daddy record

Can someone sit Tom Brady down and explain to him where babies come from? Because getting 2 chicks pregnant within the span of a season is not something the poster boy for NFL quarterbacks should be doing. A Brazilian website equivalent of Page Six is reporting that Gisele Bundchen is two months pregnant and Tom Brady is the father.

Sweet baby Jesus. At this rate, he’ll overtake Shawn Kemp by the 2009 season. Hey Tom, you know Visa’s Five Layers of Protection only apply to credit card purchases right?

[Boston Globe]: Report: Bundchen pregnant by Brady

General Sports

Feb 21 2007 episode of Poor Man’s PTI

Welcome to another episode of Poor Man’s PTI.

You can download this week’s podcast directly (running time 33 mins) or subscribe to the feed.  

If you use iTunes, just click here and then click subscribe and iTunes will take care of the rest.

This week’s topics include:

  • Tim Hardaway
  • Barkley vs Bavetta
  • NBA All Star Game Weekend
  • Gilbert Arenas
  • Chargers hire Norv Turner
  • Tom Brady gets Bridget Moynahan pregnant
  • Britney Spears’ sad decline
  • Ryan’s white trash NASCAR day
  • Josh Heytvelt and the magic mushrooms

Hope you guys enjoy the podcast.  If you did enjoy it, please give us a good rating below so we can rise up in the rankings. If you didn’t, send us an email ([email protected]) and give us some suggestions. Thanks for listening.

New England Patriots

Tom Brady’s boys can swim!

Things are going crazy over there in Foxboro since the Colts knocked the Patriots out of the playoffs. Bill Belichick is getting sued by some guy who claims Belichick had an affair with his wife, Ted Johnson says Belichick made him play with a concussion, and now Tom Brady has decided to take on Shawn Kemp’s bastard children record.

The New York Post reported yesterday that Brady’s ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan is three months pregnant with Brady’s child. Let’s see… today is Feb 19th… and the couple announced their separation in December… hmmmm… perhaps Tom gave her this classic speech:

Honey, a miracle has happened-you’ve got a bun in the oven. How wonderful! Before long, this family is going to be bigger by none. After all, you and me and baby minus me makes two.

It’s hard to believe that soon there are going to be two people in our little brood. Nothing brings two people closer together quite like one of them being a mother and the other a child. No, there’s nothing in the world more special than that.

Just think of the happy, loving family we’ll make: You and the baby, plus me 700 miles away. That’s the kind of family I’ve always wanted, and you’ve made it possible. It’s truly a dream come true.

It’s good to know that Tom is willing to ditch a pregnant woman so we can have more tabloid fodder. Is it possible that Tom Brady is the father of Anna Nicole’s baby?

[Boston Globe]: Tom Brady’s former girlfriend pregnant

NFL General

Tom Brady loves those Victoria Secrets models

We see you working, Brady. While the rest of us schmoes flip through the Victoria’s Secret catalog looking at the scenery, Tom Brady looks at it like a menu. According to the NY Post, Brady is gonna get through em by the time Rex Grossman throws his first interception with the second stringers in next year’s camp.

Tom Brady was spotted without his honey, Gisele Bundchen. However, he did have eyes for Bundchen’s fellow Victoria Secret model Selita Ebanks. A spy said, “He spent the whole night with Selita and left with her – he didn’t pay attention to any other girl.

We’ve asked it before… when does Tom Brady’s deal with the devil end?

And finally, this little quote from a female Patriots fan following last night’s Super Bowl: “To Peyton Manning: Our QB has 3 Super Bowls, and you’re ugly. So even when you win, we win.” Of course that makes no sense… unless you are a chick or Tom Brady, in which case it makes perfect sense.

[Ben Maller]: Odd Notes & Stuff

New England Patriots

Tom Brady is living the dream

At the risk of turning into some sort of gossipy knitting circle, we do have to report that the rumors are indeed true — Tom Brady is dating Gisele Bundchen. US Weekly has a photo of them walking back to her NYC apartment where they probably spent all night looking at game film.

Gisele: Tom, are you sad you threw that interception to Marlon Jackson and won’t be in the Super Bowl?
Brady: Yeah… sure. (thinking: who cares? This is better than the SB.)

Let us remind you that Tom Brady was a sixth round draft pick who got his chance cause Drew Bledsoe punctured a lung against the Jets. And now he’s trading in Bridget Moynahan for a 26 year old Brazilian model. Forget about Wally Pip. Drew Bledsoe should be the new Wally Pip in sports references… hell all references.

By the way, shouldn’t Brady be smiling more?

[US Weekly]: Tom & Gisele Step Out Together

New England Patriots

When does Tom Brady’s deal with the devil expire?

First, let’s talk about football. Peyton Manning goes 15 for 30, 170 yards, 0 TDs and 2 INTs and a 39.6 QB rating. Tom Brady goes 27-51, 280 yards, 2 TDs and 3 INTs and a 57.6 QB rating. Both quarterbacks played pretty poorly. Tom Brady’s last interception cost the Patriots the game… oh wait, no it didn’t because Marlon McCree is a goddamn idiot… In any case, Tom Brady is “a winner who delivers in the clutch” and Peyton Manning is “lucky to be in the AFCCG”. Doesn’t seem fair does it?

Well, here’s what else is not fair. Tom Brady had Gisele Bundchen waiting for him outside the Patriots locker room while all Peyton Manning has is a bunch of fat sportswriters. Boston Herald’s The Track (Page Six?) reported:

She was standing outside the locker room, just kind of leaning against the wall,” said our spy in the bowels of QualComm Stadium. “No one noticed her, she was dressed like a high-school kid, just in jeans and a T-shirt. But she is gorgeous.

It’s good to be Tom Brady.

[Boston Herald]: Does Tom have Secret he’d like to share