Categories
Pittsburgh Penguins

Super Mario retires again

I realize the Steelers are in the Super Bowl and the Penguins have lost 10 in a row but shouldn’t Mario Lemeiux’s retirement be more than an afterthought on Pittsbugh Post Gazette’s web site? Mario basically saved the Penguins from moving to some place like San Antonio and they have his retirement below the fold. And following his retirement story, is a story about how Lemieux’s retirement “Could hurt ticket sales for next year“. Geez, that’s gratitude for you.

Well, Super Mario, thanks for the memories. We’ll at least recognize your two Stanley Cups for Pittsburgh. Here are some blogs which got it right:

[Brain Flush]: Le Magnifique d’adieu, vous serez manqué
[Hockey Knight]: Merci, Mario!

[Kukla’s Korner]: All Mario
[The Pick Stops Here]: Hall of Famer Mario Lemieux Retires

Categories
Olympics

Finally a reason to watch Ice Dancing



Tanith Belbin

You know that crap they show on ESPN after NFL Sunday Countdown? That’s figure skating, or ice dancing, or something. I don’t know, I get angry it’s on and quickly turn to Sunday Ticket. In any case, you now have a reason to watch ice dancing in the Winter Olympics and her name is Tanith Belbin. Thank you to Yay Sports for alerting us to how hot she is.

This is going to be a tough call because ice dancing is so incredibly lame that the hot chick factor might not be able to compensate for the pain or watching it. But, to give you an idea of how hot she is, there was actually a bill passed through the Senate and Congress to give Tanith United States citizenship so she could skate for us in Torino. Now, they may claim that it was her “extraordinary ability” and the pursuit of a gold medal for the U.S. but I can pretty much guarantee that Senator Carl Levin and Congressman Thaddeus McCotter don’t watch ice dancing either.

Categories
NFL General

Seahawks will win Super Bowl XL

… well, at least according to the “Theory of Scrabbletivity”.  A prognosticating method so insane that it might actually work.  Hell, it’s just as credible as Salisbury and Hoge talking out of their asses.

The quarterback with the higher last name value in Scrabble is 6-1 in the playoffs this year:

– Byron Leftwich (17) lost to Tom Brady (11)
– Jake Delhomme (16) beat Eli Manning (10)
– Mark Brunell (9) beat Chris Simms (9)
– Ben Roethlisberger (20) beat Jon Kitna (9)
– Matt Hasselbeck (21) beat Brunell (9)
– Jake Plummer (13) beat Brady (11)
– Roethlisberger (20) beat Peyton Manning (10)
– Delhomme (16) beat Rex Grossman (11)

Following the Theory of Scrabbletivity, Roethlisberger and Hasselbeck should outscore their opponents in more ways than one. Although at face value it seems Roethlisberger should reap in more tile goodness over Hasselbeck, looks are deceiving. Matt — and the Seattle Seahawks — will win by one point, 21-20.  

[Futon Report]: Things in advance about Super Bowl XL that I definitively know for sure is true, no matter what cosmic forces are in action — unless I’m wrong

Categories
Detroit Pistons

Don’t bring that trash in here, Sheed!


If you don’t watch Family Guy, then something is seriously wrong with you. (However, if you don’t watch American Dad, you’re perfectly normal.) A few years ago, FG had an episode with Stewie playing basketball that ranked up there with Dave Chappelle’s Prince playing basketball. Well, the folks over at Need4Sheed posted the clip on their site but they managed to insert Sheed’s face in the video. Good stuff.

Categories
NFL General

TO has way too much time on his hands



Does this shirt make me look gay?

You know, after TO got hungover at his birthday bash in Atlantic City, nobody thought he could recover in time to throw a Super Bowl party but he’s going to prove everyone wrong. He has to sign some double-secret-probation waiver, but gosh-darnit, he’s gonna have a party! It’s at Envy, the hottest nightclub in Southeastern Michigan, which basically makes it, like, the hottest nightclub in the world.


It’s $50 to get into the tent, $100 to get into the tent and the first floor, and $200 for VIP access, which will get you into the tent and on the first and second floors.

For those big spenders — and only 20 spots remain — $500 will get you into every section of the club where there’s a party.

The site neglects to point out that there were only 20 spots to begin with. Maybe if Freddie Mitchell signs on to play with the Philadelphia Soul, he can afford one of those $500 tickets.

Get yo popcorn ready!

Categories
Denver Broncos

Idle speculation: TO to Broncos?

When you lose the conference championship game, you start to wonder “what if…”, and in the case of the Broncos, what if they had a receiver who could take over the game? Ashlie Lelie and Rod Smith had decent enough yardage but only a combined 6 catches in the biggest game of the season. Lelie has never panned out as the receiver they thought he’d be coming out of Hawaii when Denver took him in the first round and Rod Smith is getting a little long in the tooth.

There’s no question that TO would make the Broncos a much more potent offense, possibly even instant conference favorites, but would you risk the inevitable meltdown for a shot at the Super Bowl?

Categories
Seattle Seahawks

Sunday’s most inexplicable sign


Let’s hope he can hold it in

Of all the signs at Seahawks stadium (I have no idea what the corporate name is), this was the worst.  What exactly does it mean?  He’s gonna drop a loaf-a where? On the field?  In the locker room?  Is he going to pull a Najeh Davenport and take a dump in someone’s closet?  Who the hell thought this would be a good sign.  Nice touch on the steam coming out of the “loaf”, by the way.



Categories
NFL General

CBS Sportsline thinks the Panthers won

I realize that 4 out of 6 of Sportsline’s NFL experts picked the Panthers but, really, this is kind of irresponsible isn’t it?


And Dewey defeated Truman too





Categories
San Francisco Giants

Barry Bonds still a dick

Felipe Alou suggested that he might bat Bonds second to get him more at bats.  Sure, it’s not as cool as batting clean-up but it makes sense.  Without Bonds, the Giants are a terrible offensive team and more at -bats might mean more steroid fueled dingers into McCovey cove.  But Bonds wants none of it.


I am going to speak with Felipe, because at this point in my career it doesn’t work for me to be second bat.

Remember, Barry’s bigger than the team.  Or at least his humongous melon is.

[SFGate]: Bonds Batting 2nd ‘Doesn’t Work

Categories
Pittsburgh Steelers

Teacher in Pittsburgh area humiliates student for being a Broncos fan

A teacher of a ethnicity class (embracing diversity and practicing tolerance) made a student take his midterm on the floor because he wore a John Elway jersey to class.  Then he had him sit in a circle of desks and had the other kids throw paper at him.  But according to the teacher, it was all just a big joke.  Yeah, hey, you know, that burning a cross on your front lawn, that’s just a practical joke…ha.    By the way, in his next class, Sex-Ed, they made him squeal like a pig.

I may be biased, but this is your typical Steelers fan, folks.  

[Denver Post]: Teacher’s true colors definitely not orange, blue