Categories
Detroit Pistons

Bye Bye Bonnie Bernstein

Of all the sideline reporters, Bonnie Bernstein and Armen Keteyien were the least annoying, which is saying a lot. Unlike Suzy Kolber, they don’t make you want to shove a screwdriver through your eardrum. Unfortunately, CBS announced that Bernstein is gone; and Keteyien will probably be leaving as well.

Since Al Michael is jumping ship to join Madden on NBC, the Monday Night Football crew on ESPN will be Theisman, Mike Tirico, and Tony Kornheiser. This isn’t exactly a dream team but Tirico was solid in the Sunday night game he did last year and anyone is better than Paul Maguire and Mike Patrick.

Finally, Emmitt Smith is out with the NFL Network. He wasn’t ever on much anyway and is now officially gone.

[NY Post]: CBS SPORTS SAYS, BONNIE VOYAGE

Categories
NFL General

Go Daddy Super Bowl XL ad finally approved


Yes, we know we’re being manipulated here. Yes, we know that Go Daddy probably didn’t even want the first 13 ads to be approved. There’s a lot of of free advertising in controversy. But if Go Daddy can pull off as good of an ad as they had in 2005, who cares! And by as good of an ad, we mean having Candice Michelle in another skimpy outfit.

All free publicity aside, this timeline of Go Daddy submissions for Super Bowl XL is a great view into the mind of Network executives and what they consider to be in good taste. You can also check out the videos and storyboards of the commercials that were denied.

Categories
Soccer

What year did we screw you people again? We’ll name our team that



We’d have gone with Black Cocks

In perhaps the worst case of branding since the Chevy Nova in Spain, the new Houston MLS franchise is named 1836. There’s a huge controversey because 1836 is the year Houston was founded but also the year Texas broke away from Mexico so the Latinos in Houston are upset. Way to alienate a huge part of your target audience.

Aside from the historical implications and ethnic insensivity, this is the worst name in modern sports. (Well, maybe second to The New Zealand Black Cocks.) The owner of the 1836 decided to be all Euro and name the team after a naming convention in European leagues. The only problem with that is that the name itself is awkward and hard to market. The 49ers and 76ers are easily recognizable because of the role they play in American history. Even so, most people refer to them as the Niners or Sixers. Well, the 1836ers just doesn’t have the same ring, does it? I guess it’s too late to change all the logos and stationary.

[Eric Casssano]: A very bad year

Categories
Houston Astros

Houston Astros Idol


Want to sing the National Anthem at an Astros game? Here’s your chance. The Astros are holding a sweepstakes for 20 random people to audition to sing the National Anthem at a home game. Sadly, 2 out of 3 Americans don’t even know the words to the Star Spangled Banner so if you brush up on that you probably stand a pretty good chance.

You can sing it anyway you like, straightforward, with flourish, or even through the Aaron Neville megaphone, but please do not pull a Roseanne Barr.

[Astros Asylum]: Astros Hold Contest For Anthem Singers
[Astros]: Sweepstakes entry form

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NFL General

Seahawks will win Super Bowl XL Part 3

We already gave you two reasons the Seattle Seahawks will win the Super Bowl. Here’s the third. There’s a site called What If Sports that lets you simulate games between any two teams in history — very useful for settling debates. Well, we simulated Seahawks vs Steelers at Ford Field and here are the results.

Despite a three fumble effort by Seattle, the Steelers are unable to capitalize and manage only 6 points in the game. Ben Roethlisberg is error free but only 11 for 29 and 109 yards and the Steelers run game cannot do any damage as they can only muster 69 yards in the game.

The Seahawks run game fares only slightly better with 95 yards but MVP Matt Hasselbeck is the difference in the game going 23 for 35, 242 yards and 1 TD. The 1 TD was a 1 yard pass to Shaun Alexander on a play action pass. The top receiver in the game is Jerramy Stevens with 4 recs for 64 yards, his 28 yard catch setting up the lone touchdown in the game. Josh Brown kicks 2 FGs in the second half to provide the final margin of victory.

With 3:18 left in the 4th, Ben Roethlisberger has a chance to pull off the comeback victory but after getting to the Pittsburgh 42, the final drive results in only 1 yard with the last three plays incomplete passes. Seattle gets the ball back and runs out the clock, celebrating their first Super Bowl victory in franchise history!

So there you have it. Take the ‘Hawks and take the under. I don’t even know why they bother playing these games.

Related Stories:

Seahawks will win Super Bowl XL
Seahawks will win Super Bowl XL Part 2

Categories
General Sports

Nightly Sports Roundup for Feb 2 2006: 13th man

[Fox Sports]: ’12th Man’ dispute kicked to federal court

[AP]: NCAA Stands firm on Mascott ban

[USA Today]: more trouble involving Antonio Davis’ wife

[NY Daily News]: Knicks players happy Larry Brown got tossed

[Vancouver Canucks OpEd]: NHL signs William Morris Agency

[MVN]: Hating on Henin-Hardenne

Categories
Golden State Warriors

Ghetto Prom in Oaktown!

What is going on with the Bay Area and racial insensitivity. First, the San Francisco 49ers had an in-house training video that featured racist jokes. Then 20 SFPD officers were suspended for a racist video that made fun of, well, basically everyone. Now, the PR manager for the Golden State Warriors, Eric Govan, has been fired for sending out an email titled “Ghetto Prom”.

The email contained photos of black people in formal attire and commentary. He didn’t just violate Warriors policy by sending it to other employees or friends, oh no, he sent it a distribution list that included newspaper reporters, columnists, editors, and television and radio stations. Now, we’ve all sent out emails we didn’t mean to send out, but can you imagine the dread you must feel when you realize you just basically wrecked your career?

I’m trying to track down his actual email but for now you can check out the photos he was commenting on here.

[CBS5]: Warriors Fire PR Manager Over ‘Ghetto Prom’ E-Mail

Categories
Satire

Sports Satire roundup Feb 2 2006

Here are the best sports satire stories for this week.

[Sports Pickle]: Isiah Thomas to Use Mental Retardation Defense in Sexual Harassment Case
“It’s going to be impossible for any jury to look at Isiah’s body of work since his playing career ended and conclude anything other than the obvious: Isiah Thomas suffers from severe mental retardation,” said Philip Walters, Thomas’s lawyer.”

[The Brushback]: Brown Accuses Thomas Of Sexual Harassment In Attempt To Get Fired
“I have never sexually harassed Larry. If I was going to sexually harass a man, it wouldn’t be Larry Brown.”

[Onion Sports]: All-Time Greatest Super Bowl Moments
1994: Bills quarterback Jim Kelly, who two years earlier pumped up his team with a “We’ve Got the Experience We Need to Win” talk and the previous year instilled hope with his “Third Time’s the Charm” speech, gathers his teammates to tell them not to bother trying this year and resign themselves to their horrible fate.

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

McNabb: Black on black crime on the rise

In case you haven’t seen or read Donovan McNabb’s interview with Michael Smith on ESPN, let me break it down for you.


  • Donovan claims the deterioration of his relationship with TO started as early as week 12 of the 2004 season.
  • TO never challenged McNabb during Owen’s altercation with Hugh Douglas in the locker room.
  • This season “everybody turned into superstars…Some guys don’t work hard.”
  • Donovan doth protest too much: “I think the team was divided,” McNabb said. “As far as him taking the team from me, no, I don’t think so. I never felt that way. … I didn’t feel like I lost the team. I did feel like, ‘I am the leader of the team,’ and I am the leader of the team. But when you see guys talk in little cliques and guys not all being together, and you hear guys talk about somebody else, that bothers you a little bit.”
  • He still holds a grudge, even if he says he doesn’t: “That nobody really came to my defense, that showed me a lot. That nobody came out to say he’s wrong in the media when somebody asks you a question, it was like, ‘That’s his situation, that’s been them, his contract, I think Donovan has handled it well…’ Come out and say, ‘It should not have happened. That was wrong. This is Donovan’s team.’ Again, I’ll always remember what happened.”

The most draw-dropping quote however is when Donovan compared TO saying that the Eagles would be undefeated with Favre at the helm as “black on black crime”.


It was definitely a slap in the face to me. Because as deep as people won’t go into it, it was [a] black-on-black crime. I mean, you have a guy that has been criticized just about all his career and now the last criticism is that I’m selling out because I don’t run anymore.

Now, TO’s comment about Favre was idiotic but certainly not racially motivated. TO was merely responding to a comment made by Michael Irvin, he did not bring up Brett Favre as an example. For a self proclaimed leader, McNabb certainly is very thin skinned. McNabb keeps talking about how he kept his mouth shut during the whole TO fiasco. Perhaps he should have kept it shut a little longer.

[ESPN]: McNabb: T.O. situation was about money, power

Categories
Seattle Seahawks

12th man trademark dispute in court today


Sure it’s not as exciting as Joey Porter vs Jerramy Stevens but in a Super Bowl week with not much in terms of storylines, the battle between Texas A&M and the Seattle Seahawks over the “12th Man” moniker is heating up. A judge in Brazos County, Texas, will review the case today. Now, I’m sure he’s a fine judge but this seems to me a little biased. Meanwhile, a Seattle sports radio personality suggested that Seahawks fans send 12 cents to the athletic director as Texas A&M as payment for using the trademark.

[Kansas City Star]:Court to decide who has 12th man
[SeattlePI]: Send 12 Pennies to Texas