Categories
Pittsburgh Steelers

Joey Porter is either retarded or a genius part 2

Joey Porter was lying in wait and Jerramy Stevens stepped right into his lair. You knew Joey couldn’t keep his mouth shut for long and Stevens finally gave him an excuse to take the muzzle off. After Stevens did his best Doc Holliday impression (“I’ll be your huckleberry”) and said that it’d be sad when Bettis leaves without a trophy, Porter went ape shit and called Stevens “a first-round bust who barely made some plays this season”. Porter then removed his cubic zirconias and assumed the fighting position.

Stevens probably shouldn’t have said what he said but if Joey needs this kind of stuff to get himself pumped for the big game, the Steelers are in trouble. This is great for the media, but in the end, will have no bearing on the game. The Seahawks will still win Super Bowl XL.

Categories
High School Sports

Kobe haters, what do you think about 113 points?

When Kobe scored 81, everyone who hated Kobe took it as an opportunity to bash him some more for being selfish, nevermind that he scored within the flow of the game.  Bill Simmons took the opportunity to say that by scoring 81, Kobe inadvertently proved his point from a previous column where he criticized Kobe for taking himself out of the game after the 3rd quarter with 62 points.  Huh?  I suppose Simmons always got two cakes on his birthday.

Well, now a high school girl named Epiphanny Prince has scored 113 points in a game.  A game where her team won by over 100 points (137-32).  Will anyone bash this girl for being selfish and hogging the glory?  No.  Well, maybe Vince Carter.

I’m not blaming Prince for scoring 113 points but perhaps the coach should have considered the impact on sportsmanship.  When Lisa Leslie scored 101 points in a half in high school, the opposing team refused to play the second half.  Maybe Prince’s opponent on Wednesday, Brandeis HS, should have done the same thing.

Congratulations to Prince, over 100 at any level is something to be proud of.  But I’m waiting for the hyprocrites to come out and laud this girl when last week they censured Kobe.

[NY Post]: BRANDEIS COACH THINKS IT STINKS!

Categories
General Sports

Nightly Sports roundup for Feb 1: Joey Porter goes off

[AP]: Porter: Stevens “a first-round bust who barely made some plays this season.”

[Pittsburgh Post Gazette]: Teacher in jersey flap won’t be disciplined

[Fredericksburg.com]: “Wrestling is more real than baseball.”

[Philly.com]: Sixers fans surveyed on trading Iverson

[Random]: 3 minutes of the hardest and toughest hits in the NFL. (terrible music)

[Cybersportsblog.com]: Jennifer Love Hewitt nude in playboy odds: 1 to 1.

[Graham Davis]: “Colonel Sanders is the greatest white man that ever lived.”

Categories
NFL General

Super Bowl ads sneak preview



Got our attention

ABC News this morning had a sneak peek of some of this year’s Super Bowl ads. Who knows which will be this year’s most memorable commercial but I can tell you one thing, it certainly won’t be the ridiculous Diet Pepsi commercial with P Diddy and Jay Mohr. I guess Pepsi is expanding upon its inanimate Pepsi objects doing cool things. This time, the Diet Pepsi Can goes into the studio to cut a track with P Diddy. Considering everyone hates P Diddy, I don’t see how this well sell more Diet Pepsi.

Burger King has a commercial featuring the Whopperettes that can be downloaded to your phone immediately after it shows on Sunday. This is the worst idea since ESPN decided to charge $2 to download their commercials on itunes. All I want to know is if the Burger King is going to score a touchdown before either team on the field. There’s big money on this prop bet.

Nationwide is trying to show their lighter side with a Fabio Shampoo Nationwide commercial (yeah it doesn’t make sense to us either,) but it’s just not very funny. Neither is the Bud commercial with the revolving wall.

Last year, everyone took a breather from the racy ads (except Go Daddy, which scored the most memorable ad) but this year, Pizza Hut is sexing it up with Jessica Simpson hawking Pizza Bites. Now, people probably won’t be scrambling to order Pizza Hut after seeing this commercial but, who knows, we’re all suckers for hot blondes.

Categories
NBA General

NBA Power Rankings roundup Feb 1 2006

Basically everyone agrees that the Pistons, Mavericks, Spurs, and Suns are the top 4 teams. Should be a hell of a western conference playoffs. There were a couple of new entrants as the Sixers and Bucks made it to #10 on a couple of polls. Here are this weeks power rankings by major sites.

Rank NBA.com ESPN FoxSports Sportsline SI Yahoo
1 Pistons Pistons Pistons Pistons Pistons Pistons
2 Mavericks Mavericks Mavericks Mavericks Mavericks Mavericks
3 Spurs Spurs Spurs Spurs Spurs Spurs
4 Suns Suns Heat Suns Suns Suns
5 Heat Heat Suns Heat Nuggets Clippers
6 Cavaliers Cavaliers Cavaliers Grizzlies Heat Heat
7 Clippers Clippers Nuggets Clippers Grizzlies Cavaliers
8 Lakers Nuggets Clippers Cavaliers Clippers Grizzlies
9 Grizzlies Grizzlies Grizzlies Nuggets Lakers Nuggets
10 Nuggets Lakers Sixers Nets Cavaliers Bucks
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
Golf

Golf isn’t better than sex



Solution: Golf and sex

Sometimes I wonder about this, I mean it’s kind of a close call. Sure, golf can be frustrating as hell and it takes up about 5 hours but golf never laughs at you, or mockingly tells you that it happens to everyone, or compares you to previous golfers who have played the course, or… oh sorry, got off on a tangent there.

Anyway… Golf Digest conducted a survey and only 8% of men and 18% of women said golf was better than sex. Thank god. We’d be doomed as a species if everyone was out playing golf. (Although in Brave New World, the two biggest leisure activies were golf and sex, so I guess you can do both, and run a well oiled dystopian society. But maybe that’s not what you wanted to read about on a sports blog.)

Interestlingly, more than 30% of men and women said they’d give up sex for a year in exchange for a round of golf at Augusta. Maybe they should have phrased the question, “Would you sleep with Hootie Johnson in exchange for a round of golf at Augusta.”

[Golfblogger]: Golf or sex?
[Golf Digest]: Gender Survey (pdf)

Categories
Boston Celtics

Can we just make up rumors about Paul Pierce too?


The folks in Boston believe the trade made last week for Wally Szczerbiak cements the notion Paul Pierce will remain a Celtic for life. Wouldn’t bet on that. What it looks like, and to many others, is Danny Ainge is clearing the decks to facilitate a blockbuster over the summer. The Celtics dumped four years and $28 million with Mark Blount and two years and $13 million with Ricky Davis . Michael Olowokandi ‘s $6 million comes off the books in July. It looks as if the Celtics are positioning themselves to now trade Pierce for a foundation piece — like say Kevin Garnett.

This makes absolutely no sense to me. So basically, Danny Ainge and Kevin McHale are just swapping entire teams at this point? What’s the use? I’m pretty sure this is what people mean when they talk about rearranging the deck charis on the Titanic.

Everyone just spent an entire week analyzing how Wally World fit in with Pierce’s game and how Ricky Davis gives KG another option that creates his own shots. So now, the Celtics and Twolves will just forget all that and trade Pierce for Garnett? I think I get the hang of this sports journalism thing. Just make it up.

[Detroit News]: Slam dunks

Categories
Pittsburgh Steelers

Joey Porter is either retarded or a genius

It’s really hard to decide which it is. This is a guy who makes about $3Mil a year and wears cubic zirconias.

On being 4 point favorites:

That’s all wrong. They were picked to go to the Super Bowl a long time ago, so there’s no way they can really feel like that. We took the scenic route to get here. We were supposed to be out way before we played Cincinnati, way before we played Indy, so there’s no way they can really, truly say that.

The conspiracy to make the Steelers favorites so they’d choke has been uncovered by Joey Porter. Thankfully, we aren’t the only ones who can’t figure out Joey Porter.

“Half the time, I don’t even know what he’s saying.” – James Farrior

Also, check out Chuck Klosterman explaining how Hines Ward thinks being favored is disrespecting the Steelers.

[NY Daily News]: Steeler mouth is tongue-tied

Categories
All Other Sports

Wing Bowl XIV is almost here



mmmmm re-creamed cream corn

Only 2 more days until Wing Bowl 14 folks! What started out as a promotional gag on WIP “sports” radio in Philly has turned into a huge event. They now host it in the Wachovia Center and more people attend it than Philadelphia Soul games. This year, it’s the virgin Wing Bowl so only first time contestants can participate.

Like the NFL playoffs, the qualifying rounds are better than the actual thing. There’s something quite cathartic about watching a bunch of fat slobs eating disgusting stuff. Here are some of the best videos (Real Player format) from the qualifying rounds:

Dr. Winglove and 5 lbs. of corn
Joey drinks gallon of milk in :41
Big Puss attempts 7 Quarter Pounders in 5 minutes
The Dumpster eats a tray of McDonald’s cheeseburgers and French fries in 7 mins

Categories
NFL General

Pittsburgh wins the food Super Bowl

The Food Network published a list of recipes of food you “might serve when rooting for the Seahawks or the Steelers.” There is no better indication of the disparity between the two cities than this list of recipes, folks. I’ll take the Pittsburgh menu (kielbasa, pierogies, chili, brownies) over the Seattle menu (whole dungeness wok fried crab, roasted mussles, raw oysters, baked apples).

Now, some of those “Seattle Snacks” sound pretty good but they have no business being served during a football game. No wonder why the Northwest gets no respect in football circles.

[Food Network]: Fan Favorites
[Thesportsfan]: Seahawks – yes, seafood – no