[Ben Maller]: NFL star Terrell Owens (aka, T.O.) has reached agreement with Banyan Productions for a new reality television series.
[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Blogger Suspends Self For Making Us Imagine Sex With Belichick
[Sportshooligan]: Hockey Fight Song Banned for Being “Theoretically Racist”
[Vague Space]: Wow, this guy really hates UConn.
Shaun White might be my new favorite Olympian after he reminded us why guys do anything in the first place: to impress chicks. Right after he won his Gold medal in the halfpipe, he started scamming on Sasha Cohen.
I’m hoping Sasha dates gold medalists. Oh yeah, this, I just got it. How’s it going?
He’s even got a line ready. “Hey, you do 1080s, and so do we. How’s it going?” I’m thinking maybe the fact that he’s a gold medalist and multimillionare will do the trick.
This brings up a debate IUfan62 and I have been having. He’s on Shaun’s side but if I had to take a figure skater, I’d go with Tanith Belbin.
[SFGate]: Hey Sasha, meet Shaun, gold medalist
It seems the reports that the Great One knew about the gambling ring are incorrect. The wiretapped conversation that has him discussing the ring are only after he was informed of his wife’s involvement on Monday. So I guess while his remark when asked about his wife’s involvement by reporters on Tuesday (“Oh, really? I don’t know, you’d have to ask her that.”) was less than guileless, we can’t really blame Gretz for the implied denial of knowledge. After Clinton’s “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”, we have much lower standards on the truth.
Gretzky and his wife are headed to Turino on Tuesday where the international press will have their chance to run roughshod with this story should any new developments occur. Anything short of a gold medal in Turino for the Canadian hockey team will be viewed as a major disappointment but the head of the Canadian Olympic Committee has said that Gretzky won’t be a distraction and that what the Canadian team does will override the scandal. In Gretzky’s favor, if you need any more proof that he does belong at the Olympics, you have to look no further than Stephen A Smith, who opines that “Gretzky needs to skip the Olympics”.
Meanwhile, there’s no news on Tocchet but Guy Junker in the Pittsburgh Tribune Review points out: “When the rumblings started about Pete Rose and his gambling problems, the first thing we heard was that he didn’t bet on baseball. Then we were told he didn’t bet on Cincinnati Reds games. Then we were told he didn’t bet against the Reds.” Interesting point. He’s probably the first journalist not to lemmingly repeat the “no evidence of hockey bets” statement issued by the NHL.
Finally, here is a columnist who feels the whole thing has been blown out of proportion.
John Elway isn’t lonely anymore. In Hawaii as part of the “spend a day with John Elway” promotion, he gave his thoughts on adding Terrell Owens to the Broncos.
The question is Terrell, Terrell Owens, in a position now where he says, ‘OK, I’m finally going to conform, be a team guy?’ I personally don’t think it’s a good fit. But listen, it’s easy for me to draw that conclusion, since I’m not making the call. But personally, it’s just not something I would do. I think there is potential there to poison some things.
Perhaps Elway wants to be the last Bronco QB to win a Super Bowl because there is no way the Broncos can compete next year without adding a top notch wide receiver. Rod Smith is getting to Tim Brown age and Ashley Lelie is a bust. Maybe TO does poison the well eventually but you only need to rent his services for 1 year.
[Rocky Mountain News]:
Elway: T.O. not a good fit
There’s something about hazing that seems very gay to me (NTTAWWT). Well, the Tiffin Mens soccer team kinda proved that last fall when they had a male bonding hazing event when some freshmen soccer players were photographed tied together in their boxers. The coach and players are all dismissing it as a social event that got blown way out of proportion. Maybe it got blown out of proportion because the photos from the event are being passed around by a gay photo site. And that wiffle ball bat labeled “freshman fucker” isn’t helping either.
Why can’t sports teams just do what gangs do and beat the piss out of new recruits. Why does it always have to include something really homoerotic. At least Tiffin soccer didn’t go as far as the Sierra Vista High School basketball team in Las Vegas, whose hazing ritual included shoving their fingers in a new player’s rectum. I’m pretty sure everywhere outside of a prison league, this is stepping over the line.
[Bad Jocks]: Tiffin College Men’s Soccer Team Alleged Hazing Pictures
In a move that had everyone scratching their heads, and Mike Shannahan laughing his ass off, Al Davis introduced Art Shell as the new Raiders head coach. This is after Ken Whisenhunt decided that he’d rather be a coordinator Pittsburgh than work for Al Davis and Louisville Coach Bobby Petrino decided college was a better place.
Poor Grandma Davis, he can’t even hire anyone and now he has to go to Art Shell. This is like calling up your ex-gf from 10 years ago in a fit of desperation and getting married. I think if Art Shell turned him down, Al Davis would have propped Lyle Alzado up and coached the team himself, Weekend At Bernies’s style.
Here’s what the Raider Nation is saying:
[Raidersfans.net]: AutumnWind32: “This hire can be spun and rationalized into what ever anyone wants it to be. If you want to look hard until you find that silver lining then go right ahead. The bottom line is Al went back on his word. He has not done everything neccessary to get this team turned around. Instead he’s settled for a candidate that he projected as his 3rd or more likely 4th option. In other words, his fall back, desperation plan.”
[Raidertake] : While Art Shell hasn’t prowled a sideline lately, neither had Joe Gibbs, and he seems to be writing a fine second chapter for himself in D.C. Art Shell is a presence. Art Shell is a true Raider. Art Shell can anchor this team and instill a winning attitude from the top down. Welcome back to the helm, Mr. Shell.
[Oakland Tribune]: While the Raiders might have been better off with a dynamic individual who could inject a new urgency, they hired a good man who knows, above all, how to get respect, take command and capture the ear.
Attention Olympic athletes, if some guy next to you in the urinal is checking out your unit, he could just possibly be princessy, or he might be an undercover doping tester trying to figure out how to catch your urine.
The IOC is coming under some fire because Herman Maier was duped into meeting with doping testers when they posed as big fans or his. However, after the test, one of the testers kissed Hermann, because she turned out to be a real fan so I guess it wasn’t a complete lie. The World Anti-Doping Agency however, defends this practice because athletes usually turn around and high tail it out of there as soon as they spot a doping tester.
Somehow, I imagine the Olympic village as one big Benny Hill skit with the athletes as Benny Hill chasing after women and then turning around and running from them once they realize they are underdover doping testers.
[Reuters]: IOC to use any means to test for drugs
[Skiracing.com]: Hermann Maier angered by undercover doping control in Olympic village
It seems like Sosa is taking a page out of the Brett Favre retirement book. It’s like they’re both at the end of the line but want us (or perhaps just sycophant sportswriters) to say “Oh no, please don’t!”
A source “close to Sammy Sosa” (whatever that means, maybe he was just standing in the same elevator as Sammy) told ESPNdeportes that “Sammy doesn’t think of himself as someone who has to beg for a spot on a big league roster.” I don’t see a lot of teams a calling, Sammy. In a league where they’ll pay millions of dollars just to bat five times a game, getting offered a $500,000 non-guaranteed contract is a slap in the face.
We agree with this guy. Sosa only is going to hurt his credentials and actually stands to make more money retiring now.
As of this writing, the US Olympic team has gathered 2 Gold and 1 Silver medals, a pretty paltry haul after some of the events which the US was exepected to medal in.
First, the Americans didn’t even register on the board in the women’s freestyle moguls. Then, Bode Miller and teammate Daron Rahlves finished 5th and 10th respectively. By the way, Bode, when your name is synonymous with wasted skiing, it’s probably not a good idea to be spotted at a bar downing beers, even you claim to only have had a couple and called it an early night.
Later, speedskater Apolo Ohno fell in the 1500m and didn’t even win Bronze, setting off a barrage of terrible “oh no” puns from major news outlets. You’d think headline writers could be more clever , like an allusion to “Walking on Thin Ice” or something. Well, at least more original, if not clever.
Finally, perhaps the biggest star in these Olympic games, Michelle Kwan, had to call it quits and a career because of a groin injury. Here’s a video of her training session. It’s amazing to see an end of a career caught on video, much like Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls.
Thank god for The Flying Tomato and Danny Kass who finished 1-2 in the halfpipe competition. Unfortunately, because this is snowboarding, we’re subjected to wannabe hip AP writers telling us that “Shaun White punked the competition.” Gnarly dude.
Michael Vick on the WCO:
I thought the West Coast offense was supposed to be a lot of quick, dink-and-dunk passes and it’s not being run that way. I’m not saying it’s because of coach Knapp, but he’s calling the plays. My perception of the West Coast thing is starting to change too. We’re not doing what I see Seattle doing or San Francisco doing or Green Bay doing. We’re not doing those things. I don’t know if it’s Knapp changing those things around but as far as I know, it’s not the West Coast system as far as the way we run it.
We’re not dinking and dunking the way it’s supposed to be done. It may be hurting me. It may be hurting the offense. I’m a little lost right now.
Hey, uh, Ron Mexico, perhaps the reason that you don’t run a pure West Coast offense is because you’re not smart enough to read defenses and have no idea how to be a good quarterback. Matt Schaub is a better QB than you.
Vick blames most of his problems on the knee injury he suffered in week 4. Perhaps that’s because he’s a running back in a wide receiver’s body. If Vick can’t juke and cut, he’s useless because he is not an NFL quality QB. The biggest joke is that he made the above statement from Honolulu. Vick deserves to be in the Pro Bowl as much as the Lombardi trophy belongs in Pittsburgh.
[Atlanta Journal Constitution]: Falcons QB admits to frustration with West Coast offense
