Categories
Dallas Cowboys

T.O.’s new childrens book


Terrell Owens is going to release a children’s book called “Little T Learns to Share” in November. This is perfect as who would understand kids better than someone with the emotional maturity of a 6 year old.

Sometimes real newspaper reports end up sounding like an Onion article and this is no different.


It’s about a a young boy learning the value of sharing.
Little T, the title character, refuses to share his football at first but later realizes he can’t enjoy his new ball without friends.

It’s the first book of T.O.’s Timeout Series. The second book, Little T Learns What Not to Say is due in spring 2007, and the third one, Little T Learns To Say I’m Sorry comes out fall 2007. The other topics haven’t been determined.

Here are some of our suggestions:

  • Little T Learns How to Spot a Rat
  • Every team starts with Little T
  • Little T has 25 million reasons to live
  • Little T isn’t pointing fingers but it’s the quarterback’s fault

Links:
[Dallas Morning News]: T.O. and kids? Book it

Categories
College Football

Wisconsin Band on double secret probation



We hope they didn’t violate Bucky

No one knows what exactly the Wisconsin Band did on their road trip to the Michigan game last month but it was enough to get them indefinite probation. Univesity of Wisconsin’s chancellor John Wiley called it behavior “that can be seen as anything from boorish and offensive to patently dangerous and unlawful.” Wiley also threatened to suspend the band’s travel activities and remove the director if he got any more reports of “gratuitous vulgarity, sexualized banter or joking, hazing, or other forms of demeaning conduct.” Sounds like a great time on that road trip.

The “Personal and Confidential” letter was released to the AP (go figure) but even some members of the band don’t know exactly what happened. Chancellor Wiley’s special aide Casey Nagy said the offenses were repeat violations of the code of conduct despite earlier warnings from the adminsitration but would not elaborate. If it’s one thing we’ve learned from “hazing” incidents is that they usually involve foreign objects and a rectum. Remember the good old days at band camp when girls would just stick a flute in their vaginas?

Links:
[Journal Sentinel]: Badger band put on probation

[Badger Herald]: Wiley: Marching Band’s future up in air

Categories
Anaheim Angels

Oct 12 in Sports History: The other choke of 1986


In 1986: As much as fans of the Boston Red Sox moped about the monumental chokes their team performed on the postseason stage, it is somewhat forgotten in the Buckner hoopla that the California Angels pulled off one of the biggest gag jobs of all time in the 1986 ALCS. Up three games to one at home in Game 5 and leading 5-2 going into the top of the ninth inning, Don Baylor hit a home run close the gap to one. Then, with Donnie Moore on the mound, Dave Henderson stroked a two-out, two-strike, two-run homer for a 6-5 lead. The Angels rallied to tie it at six, but Henderson, who would’ve been the goat because he dropped a fly ball in the seventh that could have cost the Sox, hit a game-winning sacrifice fly to send the series back to Boston, where the Sox took it in seven games. It later turned tragic as Moore, who was never the same pitcher after that game, committed suicide years later.

In 1989: Although in the midst of a 1-15 season, the Dallas Cowboys laid the foundation for their championship teams of the 1990s by trading disgruntled star running back Herschel Walker to the Minnesota Vikings in a 12-player deal. The Cowboys sent Walker and some late-round draft picks to Minnesota in exchange for first and second round draft picks, “The Trade” was very complicated, as the Cowboys dealt many of those picks, but it eventually netted Dallas cornerstones Emmitt Smith, Russell Maryland, Kevin Smith and Darren Woodson; and it propelled the Cowboys to three Super Bowl wins in four years. The Vikings, on the other hand, decimated their defense and are still searching for their first title. As one final groin-punch to the Vikings and former GM Mike Lynn, Walker ended up back on the Cowboys a few years later. (scout.com)

Categories
Indiana Pacers

Odds and Ends: "Pacers’ Jackson kicked disabled man during melee"



Roll up bitch! Roll up!

You read that headline and immediately imagined Stephen Jackson kicking a guy in a toppled over wheelchair right? So did we. But before they had the good sense to change it, that’s exactly what the Indy Star had in their news feed. It turns out Jackson kicked a guy with a short arm. And while technically the guy was disabled, it’s nowhere near as egregious as kicking a guy without the use of his legs (presumably cause the guy can’t kick back). We like funny/ironic headlines as much as the next guy but that was tantamount to saying “Michael Jackson touches young boy” and not mentioning that it was on the shoulder. In any case, Stephen Jackson has apologized and is “happy to be alive“… blah blah blah… but he will still be charged with a felony in the strip club incident.

In other news…

[MSNBC]: Stern tells players to stop bitching about his new balls

[AZ Central]: Floyd Landis REALLY wants you to believe him

[The State]: Spurrier “probably” sorry for humiliating assistant coach

[Sign On San Diego]: Is $2000 really enough for that inevitable “ring stinger”?

[The Golf Blog]: Play Burnout Revenge vs Natalie Gulbis… ummm.. wouldn’t Tiger Woods 07 be more appropriate?

[MSNBC]: Yankees aren’t trading A-Rod, Cashman claims

[Jacksonville.com]: Vote for the top college fight song

[IHT]: Oh thank god… chess championship to be unified

[There’s Your Karma]: “if my understanding of aging beef is correct, a Bevo XIII Appreciation Dinner can be scheduled for, oh, 10 days out.”

Categories
Chicago White Sox

The White Sox revenue generating genius


We usually roll our eyes when corporate greed takes over baseball (remember the Spiderman basepads?) but a new deal that the Chicago White Sox have inked with 7-11 stores is absolute genius. From now on, weeknight games at US Cellular Field will start at 7:11 so that “every time the media announces the game’s start time, it will be a gentle reminder of our sponsorship”. Pretty good. Pretty pretty good.

No details of the deal have been released but it is expected to be at least $500,000. Half a mil to push back a start time by 6 minutes? Whoever did this deal deserves a promotion.

Insert your own Portland Trailblazers 4:20 start time joke here.

Links:

[Catbird in the Nosebleed Seats]: The White Sox Thank Heaven For 7-Eleven
[Yahoo]: Later games in store for White Sox with 7:11 p.m. starts

Categories
Golf

Nobody cares what Greg Norman thinks


Hey look, it’s Greg Norman opening his mouth — and it’s not even cause he’s choking away another major! Norman said that golf was in big trouble in America because of Tiger Woods and better technology.


With fewer and fewer people watching golf in America, the sport has become stagnant…Players need to bring the spirit back. There have always been great players to bring people to the game to lighten it up so that it’s not so serious.

Look at what (Rafael) Nadal has done for tennis because of the way he is, like a boxer. You never hear anyone coming out and saying I want to beat Tiger Woods — I haven’t heard that. Nadal comes out and says he wants to beat Roger Federer because he’s No. 1 and that’s great for tennis.


I have a problem with someone winning a golf tournament without using a driver. The game has always been dominated by power-hitter players, but today you can’t tell the difference between the players because of the technology.

Yeah, Greg, cause pro tennis is doing so great in America. We’re all riveted watching Nadal and Federer. Would that be the tennis that has rackets with sweet spots the size of trampolines? When an actual legend like Jack Nicklaus or Arnold Palmer has something to say about the state of golf, let us know.

Links:
[Sportsline]: Norman: Technology, Tiger stagnating PGA Tour in U.S.

Categories
NFL General

Lawrence Phillips is going to be someone’s girlfriend


Former Nebraska star RB Lawrence Phillips was convicted today of seven counts of assault with a deadly weapon and is facing up to 20 years in prison. The incident occured last year when Phillips was upset about losing in a pickup football game and in his little mind decided that the other players were stealing from him so he got into his car (well, it was stolen but it was his for the moment) and proceeded to try to run everyone down. (It kind of reminds us of the guy in White Men Can’t Jump who threatened to get his other gun and shoot everybody.) Phillips ran over two boys age 14 and 15 and a 19 year old. His excuse? That the car hit the front wheel of a bicycle and fishtailed into the kids. What kind of car is so weak that a bicycle tire causes it to fishtail? Was Phillips driving an Adobe?

You know how commercials say that past performance is not guarantee of future returns? Well, that certainly can’t be said of Lawrence Phillips who was 1) suspended from the Cornhuskers for dragging his exgirlfriend by the hair down a flight of steps, 2) got into a fight with Dick Vermeil — Dick Vermeil! 3) assaulted a woman in a nightclub while with the Dolphins, 4) kicked off the Montreal Alouettes for insubordination, and 5) cut by the Calgary Stampeders for yelling at a coach. A blind man could see a pattern there.

Sentencing is expected on October 19th. And somewhere Steve Young is having a private chuckle.

Links:
[Yahoo]: Lawrence Phillips convicted of assault with deadly weapon

Categories
MLB General

Oct 11 in Sports History: Don Zimmer charges the mound!



Ole!

In 2003: In Game 3 of the ALCS, several brawls broke out as the Yankees and Red Sox showed the world that – gasp – they might not like each other or something. In the fourth inning, Pedro Martinez threw a pitch over Karim Garcia’s head and words were exchanged. When a Roger Clemens pitch sort of came a little inside to Manny Ramirez the next inning, Manny went ballistic and both benches cleared. That’s when Don Zimmer, all of 72 years old, charged Pedro like an extremely pissed off, chubby, white, pale bull, and Pedro game him an “ole” into the Fenway Park turf. It was both hilarious and embarrassing to watch at the same time. The Yankees won the game 4-3.

In 1972: The Cincinnati Reds became the first team since 1912 to win a series when coming to bat trailing in the bottom of the ninth inning. Behind 2-1 to the Pittsburgh Pirates in the fifth and deciding game of the NLCS, Johnny Bench tied the game with a solo homer off Bob Moose. Two singles and a wild pitch later, the Reds were celebrating a trip to the World Series with a 3-2 win in the game and the series.

In 1992: Deion Sanders did double duty as he suited up for a pro football game with the Falcons against the Dolphins, then took a jet to Pittsburgh in time to join his Braves for Game 5 of the NLCS. “Prime Time” was a two-time loser that day, as Miami defeated Atlanta 21-17 and the Pirates staved off elimination against the Braves 7-1 as Deion watched from the bench. Sanders was criticized on the air for playing football by CBS analyst Tim McCarver. Neon got his revenge by throwing water on him in the locker room during the celebration after Game 7.

Categories
General Sports

Oct 10 2006 episode of Poor Man’s PTI

We’re back! After a two week hiatus, we are back with another episode of Poor Man’s PTI. Did you miss us?

You can download this week’s podcast directly (running time 40 mins) or subscribe to the feed.  

If you use iTunes, just click here and then click subscribe and iTunes will take care of the rest.

This week’s topics include:

  • The ALCS and NLCS
  • Eagles vs Dallas
  • Chicago Bears
  • Seahawks
  • Saints
  • Dolphins
  • Will the Raiders ever win?

Hope you guys enjoy the podcast.  If you did enjoy it, please give us a good rating below so we can rise up in the rankings. If you didn’t, send us an email ([email protected]) and give us some suggestions. Thanks for listening.

Categories
Indiana Pacers

Odds and Ends: more on the Stephen Jackson shooting


Stephen Jackson will get off relatively scott free for his strip club shooting incident because his actions “appear to be on safe legal ground” but today it was announced that he will get another year of probation on the charges he faced for the brawl in Detroit. However, the extra year of probation has nothing to do with the shooting as no charges were filed in the incident. Meanwhile, an Indianapolis man was arrested in connection with the incident and Reggie Miller is ripping Pacers players for standing by Jackson.


You shouldn’t stand behind a player that is someone slapping you guys in the face during the middle of training camp being out at a strip club at 3 o’clock in the morning shooting it up like it’s the Wild, Wild West.

In other news…

[SFGate.com]: Art Shell says Walter will remain the starter until Aaron Brooks comes back

[Baltimore Sun]: Ravens team plane makes emergency landing. Ivy in stable condition with kidney tear

[Craig Sager’s Suit]: This explains Sager’s taste in clothes

[The Offside]: Materazzi writing a joke book on Zidane headbutt

[There’s Your Karma, Ripe as Peaches]: The Missing Link Retains WBA Heavyweight Title