Author: Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: Ugueth Urbina’s comeback with the Phillies will be slightly delayed


Little known fact: Ugueth Urbina throws right, bats right, but he wields a machete with his left hand. Who knew? ell… the 5 workers on his farm who were attacked by Urbina and other men. The 32-year-old “free” agent was sentenced to 14 years in prison for attempted murder by the Venezuelan judicial system.

His lawyer said that the punishment was too severe, probably because if he’d done that in the United States, the defense attorneys would have trotted out his coach and a teammate to say what a great guy his is and he would have only gotten four months in prison. Guess the Fightin’s have to look elsewhere to solve their bullpen problem.

In other news..

[The Offside]: Partying with P-Diddy makes you look like you belong on Faces of Meth

[NBA Fanhouse]: Jeff Van Gundy wants lottery open to all teams

[Boston Herald]: As if having their coach murdered wasn’t enough, Pakistani cricket team welcomed home with “Go to hell” chants

[Our Book of Scrap]: Want to write for SI? Better get that boob job

And finally, a couple of stories from Steroid Nation. First, HGH was found in Anna Nicole Smith‘s autopsy. (Jesus, is there anyone not on HGH? Where can we order a batch? Anyone have Jason Grimsley’s phone number?) Second, if you need your glamour photos done and Glamour Shots by Deb is all booked up, you can have Tony Mandarich do them.

Categories
All Other Sports

Swimming coach gets his Jerry Springer on

Well folks, here’s an early entry into the 2007 Sports Father of the Year contest. While some fathers have tackled other kids or pulled out a gun at a pee-wee football game, this guy actually assaulted his own daughter after she failed to qualify for the 50-meter backstroke semifinals. Oh and he was also her coach.

Mikhail Zubkov was caught on camera battling with his daughter Kateryna Zubkova (video below) and he is now banned from any further contact with his daughter and has had his accreditation stripped for the FINA world championships in Melbourne. On top of that, the police are investigating the incident.

Links:
[Bloomberg]: Swimming Coach Banned After Fighting With Daughter (Update1)
[Sydney Morning Herald]: Family feud: coach detained

Categories
NFL General

Hey Goodell, we’re still waiting on the personal conduct policy



Chris Henry

For all the talk about about Roger Goodell instituting a league personal conduct policy during the owners meetings, it looks like it won’t get done till sometime before the NFL draft in late April. Since sources say that the sanctions might be applied retroactively (which doesn’t make sense at all to us but the NFL has more power than God), it’s liable to affect players who are still getting into trouble now because they don’t know any better, or at least that’s what their agents will say on appeal.

First up is our old friend Chris Henry. The latest incident for Henry is being cited for three traffic chargers: driving with a suspended license, failure to wear a seatbelt, and making an improper turn. All very minor stuff but you can’t get into any trouble if you’ve already been arrested 4 times in the last 14 months.

Second up is Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall who was arrested for false imprisonment and domestic violence charges after an argument with his girlfriend at their Colorado home. This seems to be one of those trumped up charges since his girlfriend had no injuries and the “false imprisonment” charge was Marshall blocking her taxi with his car to prevent her from leaving. In a romantic comedy, that’s the denouement, in real life, it’s a crime.

In any case, Pacman Jones is scheduled to meet with Roger Goodell on April 3rd. Here’s how the meeting will go:


Goodell: Hello Adam, please tell me about all the times you’ve been arrested or questioned by the police since you came into the league.
Jones: Well, there was the assault charge… and the weapons charge… and there was the public intoxication… and then there was the marijuana charge… then there was the spitting incident with the Tennessee State ho… and then of course the NBA All-Star Game…

Goodell (to secretary): Got all that? Good. Clean that up and put everything he did in the “examples of violating the conduct policy” section. We’re done.

Links:
[USA Today]: Broncos WR arrested
[MSNBC]: ‘Pacman’ to meet with Goodell on April 3
[Cincinnati.com]: Traffic ticket terrible for Henry

Categories
MLB General

Jose Canseco desperately needs more attention


…or money, or steroids.

According to a press release, Jose is shopping around a new reality show called “A Day With Jose”.


Contestants will “pitch” their fantasy day ideas to a panel of judges, and 6 finalists will surprise Jose with their planned activities — and compete for the ultimate prize — Jose’s 40/40 DIAMOND RING!

Wow… Joe Canseco’s 40/40 Diamond Ring. Awesome. That’s worth maybe $10k. Meanwhile, the only contestants we think will try out are reality show whores who will use it as a stepping stone to an “acting” career. We’d actually like to spend a day with Canseco and live blog the whole thing:

9:00AM: Showered. Took some steroids with Jose.
10:00AM: Got another supplement. Helped Jose pick out a see through shirt for him to wear.
11:00AM-5:00PM: Grilled Jose Canseco on how much steroids he injected into Mark McGwire’s ass.

Didn’t Canseco try this Day With Jose business 4 years ago?

Links:
[Larry Brown Sports]: Jose Canseco’s Trying For a Reality TV Show: A Day with Jose

Categories
Soccer

Six hookers is one way to get over a loss



Did not have sex with that woman

After losing to Germany in the Euro qualifiers, five members of the Czech national team smuggled in six autograph hunters hookers to their hotel room to take the edge off.

Ironically, they were busted by a female Czech journalist who herself posed as an autograph seeker. She said that midfielder Jan Polak answered the door and saw a party going on where the other players “drank and hugged prostitutes”.

All the players deny sleeping with the hookers but admitted to breaking some rules and was levied about a $50,000 fine which they accepted as the correct punishment and apologized.

Meanwhile, three of the players in the incident, Tomas Rosicky, Tomas Ujfalusi, and Jan Polak are all married. Ujfalusi’s wife is a former Miss Czech Republic. Unfortunately, they were not able to blame Lawrence Taylor for the hookers.

Links:

[The Sun UK]: Arsenal ace’s six-hooker party

Categories
All Other Sports

Racism: it’s not just for soccer fans anymore!


It seems the overwhelming number of stories we do on racism involve soccer fans. However, we were reminded that tennis is still a predominantly white sport despite the dominance of the Williams sisters over the past 10 years. A heckler was tossed from the Sony Ericcson Open after going all Hooman Hamzehloui on Serena Williams.


There was this guy in the stands harassing me throughout the whole match, and I really should have said something sooner. And then even the people out there were pointing to who he was.

The guy said, ‘Hit the net like any Negro would.’ I was shocked.

Serena’s stepsister later told reporters that “negro” wasn’t the exact word he used. The unidentified man was escorted out of the stadium and a copy of his license and photograph was taken by security. If he ever returns to the stadium, he will be arrested. The WTA is also considering banning him from all tour events. We say someone should give him a ride to Compton where Serena Williams grew up.

Links:
[Local 6]: Serena Williams: Heckler Made Racist Remark

Categories
Chicago Bears

Lance Briggs and Drew Rosenhaus are tools


Lance Briggs and Drew Rosenhaus have a new plan. Instead of sitting out the year as they originally threatened, they are going to exploit the collective bargaining rules and sit out only ten games. By showing up to work for the last six games of the season, Briggs gets credit for the whole year of service.

The Bears can tag him again next season but after two seasons of being tagged, rules say he has to get paid the average of the top 5 salaries in the league regardless of position if the Bears tag him for a third season. Considering the headache that he’s causing them, the chances of that happening are worse than the Lions winning the Super Bowl.

Briggs seems to have the leverage here as he’s willing to give up a chunk of change this year to minimize his injury risk so he can get the big bucks guaranteed next year. The Bears (and you better believe other owners are watching) have to tread carefully or the franchise tag becomes more of a joke than it already is. If they give into Briggs and Rosenhaus, they might be opening up a can of worms. However, if they let him sit out the ten games, they have a distraction for ten games and there is no indication that Briggs will be in game shape for their (expected) playoff run. This of course has the Redskins faithful abuzz with a possible trade for Briggs.


We don’t have anything to say,” team president Ted Phillips said Monday. We franchised him. He’s going to make a lot of money. We think he’s a good player, and we want him on our team. It’s as simple as that from our standpoint.

They knew this was coming months ago. It’s not a big surprise. … It’s part of the system. It’s just a tool we have. Free agency is a tool the players have.

Yep, tools all around.

Links:
[Chicago Sun Times]: Briggs plans 10-game holdout to combat franchise ta

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Pacman Jones might be going back to Vegas



Cartoon from Sportsline

Unfortunately, it’s not to gamble and hit the strip clubs. The Las Vegas police, which already has been accused of incompetence, is seeking felony and misdemeanor chargers against Pacman Jones for the triple shooting at a strip club during NBA All-Star Weekend.

Police still don’t know who did the shooting outside the club but want to charge Jones and two friends for the melee that broke out inside the club. You know, the one one where Pacman slammed a stripper’s head against the stage.

Pacman has got more problems though. The major issue during the NFL owners meeting in Arizona this week is the player conduct policy and Jones’s name comes up in every mention of how to discipline players who run afoul of the law or are consistently getting themselves into trouble otherwise.

The Titans are considering dumping Pacman Jones entirely to be rid of the headache and have released this statement:


The club is deeply disturbed that the alleged conduct of one of its players has resulted in felony charges in one state and accusations of felony conduct in another state.

Since the NFL is preparing to introduce a new player conduct policy and since criminal charges and investigations are in progress, comment or speculation would be inappropriate. The club is currently reviewing its options with respect to the player

One of Pacman’s attorneys said that Pacman is very concerned about a possible suspension by the NFL. Maybe he should have though of that sometime between the 9th and 10th time that he was questioned or arrested by police.

Links:
[AP]: ‘Pacman’ Jones may face felony charges

Categories
Philadelphia Phillies

Odds and Ends: Ryan Howard needs a hug


This slump must really be hitting Ryan Howard hard. A usually media friendly slugger decided that yesterday was “Ryan Howard Day” and announced he would not be talking to any reporters yesterday. Certain members of the press are ripping him (of course) but he probably should get a break. He’s not exactly pulling a Ryan Leaf here. For the record, Ryan Howard day is gonna be May 16 when the Phillies give out Ryan Howard MVP bobbleheads in a game against the Brewers. Let’s hope he’s figured out his hitting by then.

In other news…

[beRecruited]: The worst hairdo in the NCAA tourney

[ebay]: A pair of Michael Jordan game worn shoes goes fot $35,000 on ebay. (You’d think the seller would throw in free shipping.)

[SI]: NFL breaks paid attendance record for 5th straight year

[WISHTV]: ex-Colts DB arrested on gun, drug charges. Will sign with Cinci any day now

[Boston Herald]: Tom Brady’s dad says success doesn’t eliminate problems. Yeah but keeping your soldier helmeted does eliminate one.

And finally, even though we have a firm “no white guy not named Eminem should rap” stance, this “This is why Duke Sucks” video is pretty funny.

Categories
Golf

Sergio Garcia can’t putt but he can hit the bottom of the cup

Tiger Woods wins another trophy at Doral but the buzz around the blogosphere is about Sergio Garcia spitting into the cup after missing a short putt. This shows not only the dominance of Tiger but also the lack of class of Sergio. Who the hell spits into a cup after missing a par putt? Not even the neanderthals wearing jeans and wifebeaters who play the public courses we go to do this.

When asked about it, Sergio said that he made sure it went through the hole at the bottom of the cup so that the next person to drain a putt wouldn’t have to clean his spit off the ball. Right. I’m sure that’s exactly what’s on his mind as he’s hocking a loogie into the cup. Klassy.

Links:

[NY Post]: COMMISH DOWNPLAYS SERGIO’S SPITTING FIT