Author: clay

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Chicago Bulls

Bulls’ mascot says `Screw Oprah’ and heads straight for the Jerry Springer show

Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Chicago Bulls were once a proud, successful franchise capable of dominating the NBA like nobody in recent history. Now, they are just a shell of the team that Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Phil Jackson established. In fact, things have digressed so far downhill that the players aren’t the only ones getting whooped on national television.

C’mon, Benny! Show a little class! We guarantee your fellow NBA mascots would never humiliate themselves on some stupid TV talk show. Nope, they do all of their embarrassing stuff in front of packed arenas.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Mascot Love + Jerry Springer = Awkward YouTube Video

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San Antonio Spurs

Around the Rim: Better late than never


1. Spurs sharpening
The Spurs slipped a bit to start 2008, losing eight of their first 15 games following the calendar change. However, with an 81-70 defeat of New Jersey on Tuesday night, San Antonio won its tenth consecutive game, reclaimed the top spot in the Western Conference race and reminded a whole lotta contenders who the real team to beat is. The Spurs are currently on a 14-1 streak with quality wins over Phoenix, Cleveland, New Orleans and Dallas while compiling the best scoring defense in the conference (90.4 ppg). The Nets never had a chance after the opening quarter as the Spurs “Holy Trinity” of Tim Duncan (29 pts, 12 reb), Manu Ginobili (12 pts) and Tony Parker (11 pts) controlled the contest. With the recent additions of Kurt Thomas and Damon Stoudamire, this is possibly the most talented team the Spurs have ever suited up…and that is saying a lot. If Brent Barry decides to return to S.A. then back-to-back championships could be within the Spurs grasp.

2. Crunch time is Kobe time

Kobe Bryant shines brightest in down-the-stretch situations. Tuesday was no different. Bryant ripped off a 17-point fourth quarter performance in Sacramento last night, leading the Lakers to a 117-105 victory. In all, Bryant finished with 34 points as Los Angeles won its 12th game in 13 tries to keep pace with San Antonio in the West standings. The former solo flyer who has recently become the ultimate team captain reached a personal milestone in the win as well, becoming the second youngest player (29 years, 194 days) in league history to reach the 21,000-point plateau. Wilt Chamberlain remains the gold standard for the accomplishment, knocking out the feat in 10 fewer days than Bryant. While Pau Gasol is waaaay behind on the all-time scoring list, he certainly kept pace with Bryant on Tuesday, scoring 31 points to go with 10 rebounds.

3. Suns squeeze past Portland
The Suns were sitting on a two-game losing streak when they traveled to Portland and after letting a 23-point lead slip away, it appeared they were headed for consecutive loss number three. That didn’t happen. Phoenix survived the rally to take a 97-92 victory over the Blaze who got 25 points out of Brandon Roy. Unfortunately, Portland needed even more out of its All-Star because the rest of the team’s starters produced a mere 26 points. On the other side of the court, Phoenix basically played a seven man rotation led by Amare Stoudemire’s 22-point performance and Shaquille O’Neal’s 13 rebounds. Shaq still struggled on offense, going 1-of-5 from the field and 4-for-9 from the line for six points, but the big fella had three blocks on the defensive end. Things are about to get interesting for the Suns as they head to Denver tonight before hosting Utah and San Antonio in their following pair of games.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Pau Gasol @ Sacramento 42 min, 31 pts (FG: 10-15, FT: 11-13), 10 reb, 4 ast, 2 stl, 3 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Detroit (44-16) @ Boston (46-12)
After the Celtics rushed out to a 29-3 record, nobody expected they could be run down before season’s end. Wrong. Detroit can cut Boston’s Eastern Conference lead to just two games with a win tonight. But they will have to do it in an arena where the Celtics have lost only four games all year and they’ll have to do it against a healthy Kevin Garnett who is averaging 15.2 points, 9.8 rebounds and 1.6 steals per game over his last five contests. Someone the Pistons won’t have to worry about is Sam Cassell; at least, not yet. Cassell won’t be in the lineup tonight as he attends a family funeral, instead he will be making his debut on Friday against the Bulls.

Buzzer Beater: Everything appeared to be pointing toward an Atlanta victory. Of course, appearances can be deceiving. The Hawks hosted Golden State last night and they played a terrific game in front of the home town crowd. Atlanta shot over 50 percent from the field, connected on 44 percent of its 3-pointers (7-16 3FG) and got 40 free chances from the charity stripe. Too bad they still lost by 17 points as the Warriors ran them out of their own gym, 135-118, hitting 55-of-101 shots, including 17-of-32 for three. Oh, and G.S. only took 10 free throws the entire game!

Getting outshot 40-10 from the free-throw line and winning by 18, that’s an amazing stat, really,” Golden State coach Don Nelson said. “We tried to play a very aggressive game, Not having any big guys we had to play a small lineup and it worked out pretty well.

Categories
Green Bay Packers

J.M. hearts B.F.

The Brett Favre bomb was dropped yesterday and after a full day of weeping in a dark room, we finally feel strong enough to confront this national tragedy head on. While we know it’s tough right now, the true emotions won’t really come flooding out until next season when the Packers hit Lambeau Field without No. 4 under center. Hopefully, just hopefully, John Madden will be composed enough by then to call a game.

Links:

[Extra Mustard]: Favre Video Of The Day

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Colorado Rockies

Stephen Horner is such a cock block


Apparently Stephen Horner isn’t single and on the prowl. How do we know? Well, Horner is single-handedly trying to destroy the very thing that helps unhitched dudes become uncontrollably gitty and simultaneously sucks their wallets completely void of cash. Of course, we’re talking about “Ladies Night.”

Horner went to a Colorado Rockies game last year and came across some people handing out free coupons for “Ladies Night” meaning women could get into Coors Field for free at a future game. As you would expect, Horner wanted one and was denied because, well, he has a penis and is clearly not a woman. And as you would expect, Horner started crying like a two-year-old.

Horner says he was upset and took the issue up the management chain. “I felt like I got a bad deal. My rights were genuinely denied,” he said.

Here’s where things go goofy. Horner filed a gender discrimination claim and the `man’ ruled in his favor!

The director issued a Probable Cause determination and ordered the two sides to go through mediation. v The Rockies claim it was their intent to offer the vouchers to anyone who asked for them.

The Rockies can appeal the decision. Their spokesperson says it is premature to comment on the decision or if the Rockies will discontinue the promotion.

Horner better not be listed in the white pages because if the Rockies or any other establishment does away with “Ladies Night” because of his whining, his crib is defiantly getting T.P.’d. Shhh, you didn’t hear it from us.

Links:

[MyFoxColorado.com]: Man Fights Ladies’ Nights at Coors Fields

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Tony Romo learns from Nick Lachey’s mistake


Dallas Cowboys fans can exhale. While the curse of Jessica Simpson is still alive and well in Big D, Tony Romo made it perfectly clear there are no wedding bells currently ringing in his head.

I mean, it’s just rumors. That’s what people say,” the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, 27, told PEOPLE at Monday’s Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Male of the Year Awards – where he was honored alongside Simpson’s ex John Mayer and rumored former boyfriend Dane Cook. (“I guess you date Jessica Simpson, that makes you fearless!” Romo joked.)

But will there be marriage in Romo’s future?

“I’m sure I’ll get married one day. I don’t know when,” he says.

Did you notice that? Tony said, “I’m sure I’ll get married one day;” not we’ll get married one day. It’s a very subtle difference, but Romo’s a professional play caller; he’s a master at sliding in the hidden yet intentional nuances. From our point of view, that means things are defiantly looking up Dallas.

Links:

[People.com]: Tony Romo: Jessica & I Are Not Engaged

Categories
Utah Jazz

Around the Rim: Utah’s Most Wanted


1. Naughty, naughty Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki’s frustrations were evident just five minutes into the game. And they were equally obvious by the time the final buzzer sounded in Utah’s 116-110 home victory over the Mavericks. With Big D down 19-6 in the opening minutes of the game, Dirk’s dark side came out as he took an obvious cheap shot at Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko, knocking him out of the game with a hip injury. However, Utah rallied without AK-47 in the lineup, producing a late-game 16-0 run to secure the victory. Deron Williams finished with 17 points and an eye-popping 20 assists to compliment Carlos Boozer’s game-high 28 points and Mehmet Okur’s 20-point, 12-rebound double-double. Dallas was led by Josh Howard’s 25 points and Jason Kidd’s nine assists, but Nowitzki managed to produce 23 points while being hissed at for the entire evening. After the game, he pretended he had no idea why the crowd wanted his blood.

I kind of tried to grab him, and unfortunately grabbed him around the neck,” Nowitzki said. “Things went so fast, I didn’t mean to grab the neck, but I just tried to hold him so he doesn’t score. I happened to grab his neck and it was a bad fall.

2. Welcome to Club 40

With a 100-88 smackdown of New York on Monday night, the Hornets became the third Western Conference contender and fifth team overall to reach the 40-win plateau. More importantly, New Orleans pulled within 1 ½ games of San Antonio in the race for the Southwest Division crown. Chris Paul had another big performance with 27 points, eight assists and three steals while teammate Tyson Chandler scored 15 to go with 18 rebounds. The Knicks were without Zach Randolph for the contest which might help fans excuse the loss, but it certainly can’t explain the seven years of futility in the Garden. The home shellacking gave New York an 18-42 record, securing their seventh consecutive season under .500.

3. Cheer up China
Not that it matters a whole heck of a lot at the moment to Rockets fans, but Yao Ming underwent successful surgery on his left foot on Monday meaning that if all goes according to plan, he’ll be ready to suit up for the Chinese team at the Olympics is Beijing. yeah. Despite the injury, Houstonians can’t be too disappointed with their squad…at least, not yet. The Rockets will be riding a 15-game winning streak when they meet up with the Pacers on Wednesday. After being expected to sink into the deep, dark Western Conference waters, Houston has continued to stay float, winning three consecutive games since losing their Mr. International. The question is how much longer they can keep their emotional life preserver inflated? After Indiana, the Rockets take on West powerhouses in Dallas and New Orleans.

Monday’s Player of the Day: Deron Williams vs. Dallas 45 min, 17 pts (FG: 7-17, 3FG: 1-5, FT: 2-2), 5 reb, 20 ast, 2 blk

Tuesday’s Game to Watch: Toronto (32-26) @ Orlando (38-23)
It doesn’t get much better than Dwight Howard and Chris Bosh. Unfortunately, Bosh won’t be in uniform for this round as he continues to nurse a bum knee. However, just because the Raps are without their alpha male, it doesn’t take any importance away from the budding rivalry. Orlando has won five of their last six games in an effort to rundown the Pistons and Celtics before season’s end. Currently, the third-place Magic are six games behind Detroit in the Eastern Conference race. Meanwhile, Toronto is just a game behind Cleveland for fourth place and the first round home court advantage that comes along with it.

Buzzer Beater: Sam Cassell is set to officially become a member of the Boston Celtics today, reuniting with Kevin Garnett as they prepare to take their second swipe at the elusive golden apple. The Celtics critics have been taking shots at Rajon Rondo all season, crying that his inexperience would cost Boston when the playoffs roll around. Well, that argument is now squashed. Cassell might be 38 years old and injury prone, but when he is healthy, he is undoubtedly a winner. It’s been a long time since he had a championship reign and you know he is just dying to get his bony little fingers on his ‘precious’ once again.

Categories
Chicago Cubs

Watch the Cubs choke again for a mere $75,000


Chicago Cubs fans are some of the most loyal, dedicated and passionate fans you can find anywhere in the world of baseball. And when we say “loyal, dedicated and passionate,” what we really mean is obscenely wealthy!

The Chicago Board Options Exchange on Monday opened an auction of 71 new season tickets. The spots are next to the dugout on the third-base line. The highest bid for each set is visible online. By Monday evening, the highest offer was $75,000 for a set of four tickets. (That’s $18,750 per season ticket or just over $264 per seat, per game.)

The auction, which continues at cubs.com through March 13, is part of a deal that gives the CBOE naming rights to the new seats.

Naming rights, huh? “Steve Bartman’s Bleachers” has a nice ring to it if you ask us.

Links:

[SunTimes.com]: $75,000 for Cubs tix?

Categories
New England Patriots

Randy Moss signs new deal for some "straight cash, homey"

In case you haven’t heard by now, there will be no Randy Moss offseason movement. After threatening to bolt from New England in favor of reuniting with Daunte Culpepper of all people, the Pats wrote out a big check for $27 million with a $12 million signing bonus to keep Moss around for another three years. Its good news for Patriots fans, but its GREAT news for fans of Straight Cash Homey!

Links:

[NYTimes.com]: Moss Stays Put After Flirtation in Free Agency

Categories
LA Lakers

Around the Rim: Running over the competition


1. MVP?
Remember back when Andrew Bynum got injured and everyone said the Lakers were doomed to fall apart without their man in the middle? Well, that was 24 games ago and since then all Los Angeles has done is surge to the top of the West by winning 14 of their last 16 games, including Sunday’s 108-104 overtime victory against the Mavericks. Kobe Bryant tallied his 22nd game with at least 50 points by scoring 52 on the anniversary of Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point outing. Bryant was unstoppable down the stretch, racking up 30 points in the fourth quarter and overtime. Los Angeles could have avoided the extra period altogether had it not been for Dirk Nowitzki’s game-tying 3-pointer with two seconds left in the game. Nowitzki finished with 30 points, including nine in OT, while Jason Kidd put up 15 points, 11 assists and six rebounds in his seventh game as a Maverick. The Lakers are now just percentage points behind San Antonio for the best record in the conference.

2. Rockets boosters

Remember back when Yao Ming got injured and everyone said the Rockets were doomed to fall apart without their man in the middle? Well, that was three games ago and since then all Houston has done is win three consecutive games, including a 103-89 win over the Nuggets, bringing their winning streak up to 15 straight, the longest successful stretch by anyone in the NBA this season. Tracy McGrady scored 22 points to go with six assists and six rebounds as his club rushed out to an early lead and never relinquished any ground, leading by 19 points at one time. While McGrady is responsible for carrying Houston to the postseason, nobody is more currently more important to the team than Dikembe Mutombo who finished with just two points, five rebounds and three blocks, but remains the Rockets’ only true defensive threat down low. Denver’s dynamic duo was rather dull in the showdown. Carmelo Anthony scored 19 points on 7-of-17 shooting while Allen Iverson put up 17 on 7-of-22 from the field.

3. Familiar faces
Not even a midseason trade can get the helpless Bulls rolling. After combining to swap 11 payers back on February 21, Chicago and Cleveland got together with their new look lineups for the first time on Sunday and the Cavaliers walked away with bragging rights; after all, they didn’t trade away LeBron James. The league’s top-scorer finished with 37 points, six assists and six rebounds while newbie Ben Wallace grabbed eight rebounds and Wally Szczerbiak scored 17 off the bench to give Cleveland a 95-86 home win over the Bulls. Drew Gooden put together a double-double (11 pts, 10 reb) for his new club while Larry Hughes scored a team-high 23 points in defeat. The Cavaliers were able to survive a horrible night at the charity stripe where they missed 10 freebies (16-26). Of course, they’ll need to get used to such performances with Big Ben’s struggles from the line; on Sunday Wallace shot 3-of-8 from the free throw line.

Sunday’s Player of the Day: Kobe Bryant vs. Dallas 51 min, 52 pts (FG: 15-27, 3FG: 2-3, FT: 20-27), 11 reb, 4 ast, 1 stl, 2 blk

Monday’s Game to Watch: Dallas (39-21) @ Utah (38-22)
Despite obtaining one of the league’s best point guards before the trade deadline, Dallas has yet to prove it was the right move. Sure, the Mavs have won more than they’ve lost (4-3) since acquiring Jason Kidd from New Jersey, but they can’t seem to beat the best in the West. Big D has road losses to New Orleans, San Antonio and the Lakers since making the move and their wins are against sub-subpar competition (Mem, Min, Chi and Sac). The task doesn’t get any easier tonight in Salt Lake City where the Jazz are 25-3, including their current 15-game home winning streak.

Buzzer Beater: As we’ve mentioned, Kobe Bryant torched the Mavericks on Sunday to the tune of 52 points. Dallas coach Avery Johnson had this to say about Bryant’s latest scoring outburst.

We gave him a single look, then we double-teamed him, then we gave him a triple-team and he split the triple-team and scored,” Johnson said. “We tried to zone him, we tried to funnel him in the trap for a zone and he went the other way. He didn’t cooperate on any of our defenses.

“Obviously he milked the free throw line on us and he just had it all going.

Categories
College Basketball

Digger Phelps gets frisky with a Jayhawks cheerleader

You always hear about Dick Vitale being the biggest off-the-court star in college basketball. “Dicky-V this” and “Dicky-V that”. Well, guess what, Vitale; you’re not the only geriatric on ESPN worth his weight in `old.’

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Digger Phelps is a Dancing Machine