Author: clay

Categories
Boxing

Mike Tyson has big screen dreams

What’s this downward spiral that everybody says Mike Tyson is currently on? Obviously you guys haven’t heard about Iron Mike’s new career choice. Sure his in-ring skills have deteriorated to a point that they are virtually nonexistent but it’s about what you do with your life after the game goes away that can determine a legacy. Just ask George Forman about new life after boxing.

So, what’s Tyson up to these days you ask? Well, he just so happens to have his sights set on the big screen. Yup, looks like acting is the way this freak with the face tattoo is gonna start spending his free time. Tyson recently participated in a music video for the movie “Fool n Final” and apparently that’s when he got the bug.

OH, did we mention that Tyson isn’t looking to grace the big screen in America but instead has his eyes set on international stardom by making his name in Bollywood? And if you’re not familiar with India’s cinematic style then here’s a little sample.

Something tells us that Tyson has a bright future on the other side of the globe; of course he has to get there first. Mike is facing charges for drugs and DUI after an Arizona arrest landed him in the slammer, again. But acting is in Tyson’s blood; he’s been playing the role of a mentally unstable and disgusting individual for virtually his entire life. Maybe now he can get paid for it.

Links:

[KOTV.com]: Mike Tyson Says He Wants To Act In The Movies

Categories
All Other Sports

First Liddell, now Johnnie Morton. Are there any MMA heroes left?

Last week, we brought you the story of football player turned MMA wannabe Johnnie Morton and his upcoming first fight at K-1’s Dynamite!! USA.  Well, it looks like Morton’s first bout as a “professional” fighter could very well be his last after Bernard Ackah knocked him the heck out in just 38 seconds with a huge punch to the kisser.

Morton ended up being all right after he was taken to the hospital but K-1 wasn’t done delivering blows to the fallen NFLer.  Johnnie received a suspension from the fight club because he refused to take a drug test.  Man, drugs sure aren’t what they used to be if he was using `cause that was a pathetic display; even for a possibly doped up rookie.  Hopefully, this will be a wakeup call to anyone who thinks they are big enough, strong enough, fast enough or tough enough to just step into the ring with an MMA fighter; these guys are serious athletes and they have no remorse about putting guys on stretchers.  

Links:

[SI.com]: Morton KO’d, suspended
[Steroid Nation]: Former NFL’er Johnny Morton knocked cold in ring. Now the bad news: Morton stiffed too

Categories
Atlanta Braves

Minor league manager shows why he’s in the minors

Okay, so this happened back on Friday, but you didn’t think we were gonna let this slip by; did ya?  After all, it is just one of the biggest meltdowns of all-time by a baseball manager.  C’mon, when was the last time you saw a fat guy in a Braves uniform doing a belly crawl to the mound?  Not to mention the classic grenade style toss of the rosin bag.  Jeez, Sweet Lou has got to be feeling a lot less stupid thanks to Mr. Phillip Wellman’s antics.  

But seriously, how is his squad supposed to rally behind a guy who acts like this?  That’s like asking Alec Baldwin’s daughter to have respect for her daddy after he called her “a rude, thoughtless little pig.” Some things are just impossible to forget.

Categories
Orlando Magic

The state of Florida is split on Billy Donovan’s decision indecision



It was fun while it lasted.

What’s up with the NBA and all this flopping that’s going on?  Well, we should really be more specific about what we’re talking about; we’re talking about the flip-flopping that is going on off the court, not the kind of flopping that Steve Nash perfected when Robert Horry gave him a lil’ pop.  Turns out that Kobe isn’t the only big name in the Association to wanna weasel out of something he said.

Billy Donovan reportedly wants out of the five-year, $27.5 million deal that he signed with the Magic on Friday to return to the Florida Gators.  And it looks like he just might get what he wants.  Apparently, Donovan heard blowhards like Dick Vitale over the weekend while they flapped their gums about how Donovan could have been the next Coach K. or John Wooden but instead chose to leave his college legacy behind for the big bucks.  Or maybe he just realized that college guys don’t fare too well in the NBA.  Either way, it doesn’t really matter because the two time champion signed the dotted line at the bottom of the Magic’s stationary, putting his future in their hands.

While it would be pointless to keep a guy around if he’s not fully committed to the job, we are really hoping that Orlando forces Donovan to stay.  After all, that is how a contract works, right?  You had a good thing going in Florida Billy, you really did but when you shook the hand of the Magic’s owner and put the pen to the paper, your Gator days became priceless memories.  And anyways, how would you feel if Joakim Noah had pulled out of his commitment with Florida before ever taking to the floor for a single practice.  Well, Noah probably isn’t the best example but you get the point.

Links:
[OrlandoSentinel.com]: Orlando Magic will allow Billy Donovan to return to Florida

Categories
All Other Sports

Could an out of work NFL receiver be the next MMA superstar? Oh, hell no!



There is no way this douche wins,
right?

Just when the UFC was starting to get the mainstream love that could help MMA KO boxing once and for all, Chuck Liddell went out and took the sport back about 10 years when he took a nice little nap in the center of the octagon thanks to some well placed punches by Quinton Jackson. And in less than two minutes the opportunity of a lifetime was gone and the chance to exploit some serious fight hype coming off a snoozefest between Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather had vanished. And when Dana White’s golden boy lost his title, the giant that is MMA was decapitated. Well, there is the new UFC light heavyweight champion, but we don’t think anyone wants Rampage and his “humongous dick and big balls” leading the troops.

So where does mixed martial arts turn to find the new blood that can pick up the combat sport and thrust it back into the limelight where it belongs? Johnnie Morton, of course.

I am 0-0, underground, amateur and pro. Zero experience,” said Morton

OK, so maybe MMA shouldn’t look to the former 49er/Lion/Chief to be their savior just yet but he could bring back some interest in the sport when he hooks up with Bernard Ackah on June 2 at K-1’s Dynamite!! USA. C’mon, who wouldn’t pay to see Morton get Tai Kwon Do’d right into la-la land. Oh, and the fun doesn’t end there because the card has not just one, but two gimmicky fights to its credit!

In addition to wasting your hard earned cash to see Morton participate in his first professional fight, you can also throw away your “making it rain” money by watching former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar in his debut bout against Min Soo Kim. But don’t get your hopes all worked up over the dream match of Lesnar/Kim just yet. While we know that Lesnar, aka “The Next Big Thing,” will be fighting, it is unsure who his opponent will be since his original opponent was denied a California fighter’s license.

This sounds like a spectacular event being put on by UFC’s rival, K-1, but here’s a little word of advice for your next big promotion. Perhaps you should get professional fighters to step inside the ring for you instead of guys who are just looking for something cool to pass the time.

I know there are other things to do, like maybe surf, golf and do things on TV, which I probably will in the future,” said Morton. “But right now, because I am still athletic, and I am still young enough to do this, this is just something I want to try in life and explore and experience. It is something I have always been interested in. At least, when I am old I can say I tried or I did it.

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: Former NFL receiver Morton to compete in first MMA event Saturday

Categories
New York Jets

The media’s muscle is flexing for Thomas Jones

So, we were just surfing along, minding our own business when this article about Thomas Jones and his rippling muscles jumped off the screen and smacked us across the face. Tom Rock spent the whole story slobbering over Jones’ arms like an enamored little school girl. Sounds to us like Rock might have a bit of a man crush going on, kinda like how Mark Cuban feels about his MVP.

With his bulging, tattooed biceps on display below those tucked-under white sleeves, it would be easy to think that Jones was the only Jet wearing full pads during the shorts-and-helmets practice. But it was all him.

Now we know that Jones is a physical specimen but this seems just a bit too Danielle Steel for our taste. But that’s all beside the point; what really got our goat was that this journalist was clueless when it came to the human anatomy. Rock needs to start doing a little research before he just dishes out descriptions like “freakishly large arms.” Sorry buddy, but this is the only guy we can find who is considered to be “armed and dangerous.”

But to be fair to Mr. Rock, he isn’t the only one who is starting to make football seem sort of creepy. We came across this piece on WCBSTV.com and the author seemed to have the same dreamy-eyed approach when describing Jones.

Jones’ jersey sleeves were rolled up to his shoulders, probably because the fabric would be no match to contain his sinewy arms. And it’s hard not to notice them, covered in tattoos and looking as if they should be on a professional bodybuilder.

Are we the only ones who feel dirty reading this?

Links:

[GreggValentino.net]: Home Page

Categories
All Other Sports

Oh, and you think you could spell "aniseikonia" ?!?

Now, we don’t usually bring you news from the world of spelling but, as you could probably tell by the interruption of your normal ABC broadcasting, the 2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee went down on Thursday…and we have a new champion, baby! Evan O’Dorney, 13, spelled “serrefine” without any problems to cap off a consonant and vowel filled tournament and won $35,000, plus a $5,000 scholarship and a $2,500 saving bond. Not a bad day’s haul if you ask us.

But it wasn’t all smiles at the bee as many casualties were left in O’Dorney’s path to the trophy, including Samir Patel, who many considered to be the favorite before the event. But the teary-eyed little nerd sealed his own fate last week when he compared not winning the alphabet bowl to “Dan Marino not winning the Super Bowl.” After he said that, Samir was doomed to misspell something simple like “clevis.”

Samir wiped away tears as he talked about his gaffe.

“The first thing I thought was c-l-e-v-i-s, and if I had been slow and cautious like I always am, I would have got it right,” he said. “But I just outsmarted myself. It was an easy word. I just made a stupid mistake.

But, hey, dry those tears baby boy; you’re the Dan Marino of spelling. That’s something to be proud of. It’s not as impressive as winning the big one, but it’s not bad. And you made ESPN’s “Best of the Bee,” so that’s pretty cool, huh?

Well, you did get outshined by the Napoleon Dynamite kid and that boy that fainted definitely showed more heart than you did. Hmmm, well you can spell really well and nobody can take that from you. You just can’t spell as good as this spastic little girl.

Links:

[Examiner.com]: Boy Wins Spelling Bee With `Serrefine’

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: King of the road


1. Video game James
There has been lots of criticism about LeBron James‘ game of late, but nobody can say anything about the league’s young King anymore. Scoring 29 of your team’s final 30 points in a double overtime Game 5 road game victory has a way of shutting people up. LBJ ended up with a career playoff-high 48 points as he led his Cavaliers to a 109-107 win that put his boys up 3-2 in the Eastern Conference finals and just one win away from a finals appearance. Oh, and let’s don’t forget about his nine boards and seven assists; the kid is multidimensional, ya know. However, Detroit has been making it easy for LBJ to win games for his team; just like they’ve blown a 2-0 lead in the series, the Pistons blew a seven point lead in Game 5 with 3:15 left in regulation. But the Bad Boys could have been up by 20 with the clock winding down and James was going to find a way to win that game. Big shot after big shot after big shot; it was an incredible performance. And even though the reference is way overused when it comes to some of today’s young superstars, LeBron’s takeover of Game 5 was definitely Michael Jordan-esque.

2. The Magic’s man

The Magic are ready to shoot up the Eastern Conference ranks with an All-Star in the middle and talented young point guard running things on the floor. And now it appears that they now finally have the superstar coach to guide take this franchise back to the promised land. Billy Donovan had fulfilled his duty to Florida by winning a pair of championships and after all his players jumped ship for the NBA there is absolutely no reason for him to turn down a five year deal worth $27.5 million from Orlando. And talk about stepping into a sweet situation! Most college coaches end up running squads like the Hawks when they get the big call; but not Donovan. Nope, a championship pedigree has earned this former Gator an immediate opportunity at success. Now we just have to wait and see if he’ll be another college punk who couldn’t make it with the big boys.

3. Movin’ on up
If you enjoy hearing Steve Kerr‘s in-depth analysis and self-references of dishing the ball off to Tim Duncan and Michael Jordan while racking up five rings o’ bling then you better be DVR-ing these final Eastern Conference finals games. Why you ask. Well, once either the Pistons or Cavs move on to play the Spurs, Kerr will be leaving the TNT booth for an awesome gig as the Suns president of basketball operations and general manager. Mike D’Antoni will be stepping down as GM so that he can be a full time coach and Kerr can be a full time fat cat. No more having to put up with Marv Albert‘s stupid comments or spending nights squeezed in-between John Thompson and Kevin Harlan while his spits out his obnoxious “Buckle up!!” catch phrase. Not a bad promotion if you ask us. We’d like to see that schmuck Mark Jackson from ESPN do that.

Thursday’s Player of the Day: LeBron James @ Detroit 50 min, 48 pts (FG: 18-33, 3FG: 2-3, FT: 10-14), 9 reb, 7 ast, 2 stl

Buzzer Beater: There’s a saying that there is no such thing as bad publicity, but Salt Lake City might have something to say about that after John Amaechi gave his old home town a shout out as “the hippest, gayest place east of San Francisco.” We’re sure that Deron Williams was even happier about his current situation in Utah after hearing that excerpt from Amaechi’s memoirs. Not that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, Utah will be drenched in gayness this weekend when Amaechi serves as the grand marshal for the Utah Pride Parade. But America is still waiting for an active player to come out of the closet and lead one of these parades in uniform. And hurry it up Brady Quinn; we’re not getting any younger.

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Someone might want to check Chad Johnson for horse steroids

So, if you had to guess, which NFL player would you say is crazy enough to race a friggin’ horse? Give up? Well, we all know that Ray Buchanan would probably guess it would be Shannon Sharpe but Sharpe doesn’t have the stones to go one-on-one with a stallion. You gotta be a batshit, fruit-loopy, Man-Ram type nutjob to go “man vs. beast” with a horse. So, Chad Johnson is naturally a perfect fit.

Ocho-Cinco will be taking on Restore the Roar on June 9 at the River Downs racetrack in Cincinnati, Ohio in order to raise money for Feed the Children. We can’t knock the guy for doing something to benefit a worthwhile charity but we have a feeling that he’d be trying to outrun the animals during a trip to an African wildlife safari. But regardless of motives, any way you slice it, this will be another entertaining adventure brought to you by Mr. Johnson.

While we’re not experts in the art of man vs. beast, we feel pretty comfortable in saying that the safe money is on the horse because we’ve seen the old FOX show where that track dude got smoked by a zebra and then had the balls to accuse “Zippity” of cheating.

We suggest that Chad calls off the race against Restore the Roar altogether and tries to race a giraffe instead. Maybe Carl Lewis can work the sidelines of that event as well.

Links:

[ESPN]: Man vs. horse in benefit race at River Downs

Categories
Oakland Raiders

Jerry Porter might be an idiot but one thing he is not is an idiot


Jerry Porter was ready to make a change in life; a fresh start and a new attitude to complete the new Randy Moss and Art Shell-less Raiders. And Porter was signifying his rebirth with a switch from jersey No. 84 to No. 81. But then he found out that it was going to cost him $210,000 and he threw on that old No. 84 quicker than you can say “I’ll shoot your motherfuckin’ ass with a blowdart, dawg.”

Turns out that there’s a whole business aspect to the NFL that Porter didn’t think about and he would have to fork over the $210,000 for the wardrobe change in order to pay back the team and Reebok for the price of all the unsold jerseys with the old number on them. Guess he figured the league would just send `em to some third world country like they do with all of the Super Bowl loser’s gear. But like any good businessman, Porter knows how far his money will stretch and the close to a quarter-of-a-million dollar penalty just didn’t seem like a fair swap for the three digit reduction.

Man, there’s a couple of nice cars I’d like to get for that money,” Porter said. “I could buy a nice vacation home, or at least go half on one with someone else.

We’re not sure exactly what kind of a vacation pad Porter is looking for but Ahman Green could probably give him the lowdown on some current prices.

But hopefully for the Raiders this doesn’t mean that he’s going to be putting off that whole attitude adjustment thing. Jamarcus Russell would probably really appreciate having a top receiver to throw to who doesn’t get suspended for insubordination. And Lane Kiffin could really do without Porter’s public trade demand stunts as he opens up his career in Oakland. But, hey, anyone who doesn’t get accused of being a kingpin of the dog fighting world gets a free pass this season.

Links:

[FoxSports.com]: Porter’s number change too expensive