Oakland Raiders

Jerry Porter might be an idiot but one thing he is not is an idiot

Jerry Porter was ready to make a change in life; a fresh start and a new attitude to complete the new Randy Moss and Art Shell-less Raiders. And Porter was signifying his rebirth with a switch from jersey No. 84 to No. 81. But then he found out that it was going to cost him $210,000 and he threw on that old No. 84 quicker than you can say “I’ll shoot your motherfuckin’ ass with a blowdart, dawg.”

Turns out that there’s a whole business aspect to the NFL that Porter didn’t think about and he would have to fork over the $210,000 for the wardrobe change in order to pay back the team and Reebok for the price of all the unsold jerseys with the old number on them. Guess he figured the league would just send `em to some third world country like they do with all of the Super Bowl loser’s gear. But like any good businessman, Porter knows how far his money will stretch and the close to a quarter-of-a-million dollar penalty just didn’t seem like a fair swap for the three digit reduction.

Man, there’s a couple of nice cars I’d like to get for that money,” Porter said. “I could buy a nice vacation home, or at least go half on one with someone else.

We’re not sure exactly what kind of a vacation pad Porter is looking for but Ahman Green could probably give him the lowdown on some current prices.

But hopefully for the Raiders this doesn’t mean that he’s going to be putting off that whole attitude adjustment thing. Jamarcus Russell would probably really appreciate having a top receiver to throw to who doesn’t get suspended for insubordination. And Lane Kiffin could really do without Porter’s public trade demand stunts as he opens up his career in Oakland. But, hey, anyone who doesn’t get accused of being a kingpin of the dog fighting world gets a free pass this season.


[]: Porter’s number change too expensive