Category: Soccer

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Soccer

U.S. stumbles out of the gate



No help for Keller

The U.S. team made their World Cup 2006 debut and promptly went with a whimper to the Czech Republic. Only 5 minutes into the game, the CR scored their first goal. That was followed by two more goals in the 36th and 76th minute.

The highlight. That’s right, single highlight, for the U.S. was a shot by Claudio Reyna that hit the post. Eddie Johnson was the only other player of note as he had two quality (relative) chances in the second half.

The goat of the game was Oguchi Onyewu who was responsible for all three goals. On the first, he was out of position. On the second, he missed a clearing attempt. And on the third, he let Rosicki run right by him.

Up next: Italy on Saturday.

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Soccer

England coach rewards players with sex

After what many deemed an unimpressive victory over Paraguay, Coach Sven Goan Eriksson probably figured the boys needed to let some pressure off so he waived his normal sex ban and let the team spend some time with their wives and girlfriends. (We assume they brought one or the other to the WC and not both.)

There are only two reasons for this entry today. 1) We are reminded that professional athletes always get the best tail. 2) An excuse to post a picture of Cheryl Tweedy, girlfriend of Ashley Cole. There’s rumors that Ashley is gay but if nailing Cheryl Tweedy is gay, then sign us up.

Links:
[Sun UK]: England’s group sex!

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Soccer

Odds and Ends (06.09.06): World Cup edition

The U.S. soccer team is pretty good. But what if soccer was the national sport and we developed our kids from an early age and our best athletes played soccer. According to Fox Sports, here’s what the team would look like:

Keeper: Kevin Garnett
Defenders: Roy Williams, Brian Urlacher, Joey Porter, Troy Polamalu
Midfielders: LaDainian Tomlinson, Steve Smith, Carl Crawford, Kobe Bryant
Forwards: Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson

The choice of Kevin Garnett is an inspired one. The Kid has the wingspan and height to be a phenomenal goalie, not to mention his reflexes. Jevon Kearse (not included) would be another great goalie, except he’d crumple into a heap after every other play and have the whole country worried about his status.

Their choices of Joey Porter for defender for his trash talking skills? That’s just a waste. Reggie Bush or Tiki Barber would fit into that slot nicely. Joey can take his trash talking back to Pittsburgh.

In other news…

[Fox Sports]: Two-minute World Cup guide

[Sportscolumn]: The clueless soccer fan’s guide to watching the World Cup

[NY Post]: Good news for the U.S. team as Czech team keeps getting injured

[Sun UK]: Ronaldinho says he wants England’s Rooney to play so they have no excuses when Brazil beats their ass. Now that’s chutzpah.

[Dorset Echo]: English pub is banning swearing during the World Cup. Offenders will be fined for charity. Either no one will go to the pub or lots of money will be given to charity. (via Fark)

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Soccer

The Dutch need a lesson on trash talking

It’s not that the Dutch aren’t good at trash talking, they don’t want to do anything that resembles boasting. They’re like the Amish of World Cup teams. (Dutch… Pennsylvania Dutch… a-ha!)

A coach from the Dutch team is not happy with the slogan that’s painted on the side of the Dutch bus, “Orange on the way to gold”.


We don’t like it because we try to keep everything calm and this might be seen as a provocation. It is a screaming line and we contacted FIFA in an attempt to change it but without any result. We have to settle with this line.

They could use some of the hubris of the Brazilian team, whose slogan is “Three-peat in 2010!” Or something like that… we can’t read Portugese. Meanwhile, the sad lonely U.S.A. bus has no slogan or flag because of security precautions. But if it did, it would probably say “We own you bitches in everything else (except hockey and baseball).

Links:
[World Cup Blog]: Lame Bus Slogan Has Dutch Coach Seeing Orange
[Reuters]: Van Basten annoyed about Dutch bus slogan

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Soccer

Welcome to Germany!

The World Cup is coming! The World Cup is coming! If Sportscolumn isn’t exactly World Cup Central, consider it World Cup Penn Station. Or perhaps World Cup Hoboken is more apt. In any case, we’ll be covering a lot of the “other” football in the next month.

A column on ESPN Soccernet today detailed the security precautions (metal detectors at the hotel, security details, team bus without a flag on the side) and the hatred facing the U.S. team throughout the tournament. Players are subjected to chants of “Osama bin Laden!” and get rocks, bottles, and batteries thrown at them. The threat of violence is one thing but getting disgusting bodily fluids thrown at you is another. Buried in the last few paragraphs is this little gem:


Over the last decade, at matches in Latin American countries such as Mexico, Honduras, Guatemala, El Salvador and Costa Rica, U.S. players have been pelted with everything from batteries and coins to screws and saliva. In one match, former coach Steve Sampson said his players were bombed with bags of urine and animal blood.

Holy crap! That’s taking things a little too far. No matter what they say about football fans in Philly, Oakland or Cleveland, at least they’ve never thrown bags of urine at anyone. (Unless of course, someone used a beer bottle in Cleveland instead of walking to the john.)

We are humbled by soccer fans’ ingenuity for hate mongering.

Links:
[ESPN]: U.S. national team prepared for the hate

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Soccer

Do you know who Ronaldo is?

The World Cup is almost here folks and we’re trying to figure out how Brazil could possibly lose this thing. Last week we highlighted Ronaldinho, considered the best player in the world if not in history. But Brazil also has the previous best player in the world and hero of the 2002 World Cup, Ronaldo. (Not to be confused with Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portugese soccer player.) Watching Ronaldo and Ronaldinho carve up defenses will be the major draw of soccer for the Americans this year if the US team don’t advance deep into the tournament. Here are some highlights of Ronaldo aka The Phenomenon.

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Soccer

Do you know who Ronaldinho is?

It’s a shame that soccer gets absolutely no respect in the U.S. because we’d be seeing Ronaldinho’s highlights on Sportscenter more than once every 4 years. Look at this video of his highlights and it shows how amazing the game of soccer can be and firmly establishes Ronalinho as the Dwayne Wade of soccer, except of course that he’s 100x more well known around the world. There are some who would argue he’s the best soccer player in history.

Put aside any prejudices you might have about soccer and you’ll see an athlete at the top of his game. Just by sheer skill, he makes his opponents look foolish. And that might be the mark of a truly great player.

(You might want to turn off the volume as the video is accompanied by a terrible Creed song.)

Links:
[You Tube]: Ronaldinho’s top 50 goals
[You Tube]: Amazing video of Ronaldinho showing off his skills

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Soccer

16-year-old girl banned from World Cup matches



That’s some quality Photoshop work

Yesterday, we told you about the 12-year-old Boston fan who called Terry Francona a dumbass. Well, in England, they raise the bar with their soccer hooligans. A 16-year-old girl was banned from attending any soccer matches and must report to the local police station once a week.

The ban stemmed from an incident in January where 18 other people were arrested when violence broke out after the hooligans began the obligatory soccer racist chanting.

Links:
[Life Style Extra]: 16-year old female footy fan in court
[Mirror UK]: CUP BAN FOR GIRL, 16, ON THUG CHARGE

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Soccer

Odds and Ends for Tues May 30: Ronaldo turns down $120M

The World Cup is almost here and that means more soccer stories are coming across the wire. Today, Ronaldo, one of the most recognizable soccer players in the world, turned down MLS’ New York Red Bulls offer of $120M over 10 years. Ronaldo said he’d like to play in the MLS but later in his career.

The offer would have made him the highest paid MLS athlete by more than $11M a year. MLS is desperate to attract a high profile international soccer star to boost interest. Much like the Argonauts signing Rocket Ismail, which worked wonders for the CFL.


In other news…

[Bengals.com]: Does “cornhole” mean something entirely different in Cincinnati?

[NY Post]: Stephon Marbury wants to die a loser

[Seattle Times]: The top 20 stupidest things done by college athletes

[Inside Bay Area]: Who sabotaged Dave Flemming’s Barry Bonds 715 call?

[Yahoo]: Ukraine soccer team will get sex if they win, whether they like it or not

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Soccer

Being a soccer fan finally pays off



More useful than a FOP
window sticker

Sometimes rooting for the right team is a matter of life and death. (Or as we keep telling Raiders fans a matter of being employed or not.) A British guy named Tony Restall working in Yemen was ambushed by Arab fundamentalists and most likely would have been taken hostage if not for his choice of futbol team, the Portsmouth FC.

The would be kidnappers spotted a Portsmouth FC sticker on his car with their crescent and start logo and thought he was a practicing Muslim.


The tribesmen descended upon me like a pack of wolves. They had bloodshot eyes and I was terrified they would kill me.

But they spotted my Portsmouth FC sticker and the mood changed. They thought I was Muslim as the star and moon are Muslim symbols. I was able to convince them that, although I was Western, I was helping Muslims in the area.

How lucky is he that his team isn’t Parma A.C.

Links:
[The Sun UK]: Great save by Pompey