OJ Simpson is Anna Nicole’s baby daddy?

OJ Simpson thinks he might be the father of Anna Nicole’s baby Dannielynn but actually doesn’t want it to be his because he’s afraid that Fred Goldman (the guy who owns OJ at this point) will try to seize her money. OJ is kidding right? We think so but anyone who can convince himself he didn’t kill two people can convince himself anything.

The double-murder acquittee “said he was throwing his hat into the ring,” Norm Pardo told Page Six. Pardo is the videographer who amassed 70 hours of footage of Simpson from 2000 to 2005. “He said he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father.” Simpson and Smith were castmates in “Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult” (1994), and Anna Nicole was certainly O.J.’s type.

Do we really need to put acquittee? Can’t we just replace “acquittee” with “er”? Anyway, the quote makes no sense. Somehow having slow-moving sperm would be the key to knocking up Anna Nicole Smith? Or maybe OJ had sex with her waaaay before Danielynn was born and thinks his sperm just took a while to eventually get there.

Finally, check out the pic we cobbled of OJ and his alleged baby daughter. See the resemblance? Yeah, neither do we. This reminds us of the Chinese couple that had a black baby — they named it Someting Wong.


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