Thanks to The Hater Nation for pointing us to MotivationalBuck.com where you can create your own motivational poster spoofs. You know, those lame ass “Success” and “Teamwork” posters you find in offices of people who lack any actual skills. We couldn’t resist creating one. Send us any that you create and we’ll post the best ones.
In other news…
[Miami Herald]: Dolphins still cockblocking the Toronto Argonauts
[Raptor Blog]: Who will the Raptors take with the #1 pick?
[USA Today]: College Football fans: Paul Maguire is ready to ruin your Saturdays
[ESPN]: Duke womens lacrosse team will wear “innocent” bands to support the mens lacrosse team. No truth to the rumor they bought them from OJ Simpson.
Perfect game… whatever. His turn signal is still on.
They’re making the rest of us look bad. Rex Cooper, an 81 year old, bowled a perfect game at the Simi Valley’s Brunswick Valley Bowl. Why are there so many stories of old guys bowling perfect games and hitting holes in one? It’s probably God’s way of rewarding them for living so long.
In other news…
[NY Post] Speaking of old guys… Larry Brown goes to work.
[Miami Herald]: FSU rescinds basketball scholarship from recruit who was arrested for having cocaine “in the crack of his buttocks”.
[YAY Sports]: Why does Dirk Nowitzki have shaved pits?
[NOLA]: NBA awards New Orleans All-Star Game for 2008
[Jes Gobez]: Edmonton fans drinking up all the beer
[The Baseball Journals]: How the $450 million sale of the Nationals equals $100 million
You know, it must be good to be Mark Cuban. Not only does he have a huge penis, he also has so much cash that he doesn’t even mind getting booed. (Thanks Offwing Opinion.)
Im looking up there, and Im listening, and it dawned on me. Im getting booed by 18k people, how cool is that ! I didnt know these people. It didnt matter what they thought or why they were booing. It worked for the home team. It got the crowd going, it made it more fun for everyone who came to the game. Someone from the Spurs came over like it was a big deal and apologized for it. I was absolutely fine with it
May we suggest a trip to an Eagles game wearing Cowboys gear?
In other news…
[USA Today]: Danny Almonte is married to a 30 year old woman. They “have been together for years”. Isn’t there a law against that?
According to Ben Maller.com, Kobe is “lined up” (whatever that means) to play the Blue Power Ranger in the upcoming 2007 series Power Rangers Relic Hunters. We have no idea why this is important but it’s just so odd and we wanted to work on our photoshop skills, paltry as they may be.
In other news…
[Lakers Blog]: More Kobe! Kobe will be in the TNT studio tonight as a guest analyst. Let the blackberries fly.
[Off Wing Opinion]: Video of the best hockey hits from the 2005-2006 season.
[El Lefty Malo]: Some Giants fan isn’t happy with Russ Springer throw at Bonds shoulder. In defense of Springer, we think it was just the gravitational pull of Barry’s enormous head.
[MSNBC]:Dammit Ma, we told you to stay away from Wrigley Field!
Real Odd of the Day: Larry Brown 4.5 to 1 to coach NY next season but 3.5 to 1 to coach Sacramento.
There’s an excellent piece in the Charlotte Observer today by Stan Olson about why the major league steroids policy is a sham. Olson contends that if steroids testing were working, then home runs should be down. Instead, home run totals are the highest they’ve been since 2000, the “heart of what we now believe to have been the steroid era”.
Why? Because the best performance enhancer is HGH, which can only be detected in a blood test. So despite MLB’s recent tough penalties on minor league players, it’s all a joke. Major Leagues know that they only have to pee in a cup… and so the homers go on.
Just in time for this week’s three game series between the Mets and the Phillies, Billy Wagner told the Philadelphia Inquirer that he was not well liked in the Phillies clubhouse, that they wanted him to fail, and that Pat Burrell called him a rat. Poor Billy Boy. Like the Phillies wanted him to blow a crucial late season game against the Astros.
In other news…
[NBA.com]: Raja Bell’s mom talks trash to Kobe: “Need a hug, Kobe?” Ouch.
[ESPN]: Javon Walker called Favre a two-faced in an interview with Sportscenter. The gods reward him with a $40M contract.
Last night, we watched the episode of Scrubs on DVD where Turk is photoshopped onto the cover of his college brochure… twice. Today, there’s a story about how some kid had to stand in for Zach Randolph in the Trailblazers’ team photo because he forgot to show up. Coincidence? Actually, yes. But it’s pretty goddamn funny that the Blazers would even bother having someone stand in, much less someone who is nowhere near the dimensions of Zack Randolph. It’s like using Rosie O’Donnell as a butt double for Keira Knightley. Damn.. now we both have that image in our heads. Sorry.
In other news…
[Kuklas Korner]: Proving once again that hockey players are the toughest athletes on the planet, Dion Phaneuf played with a broken foot. By the way, is it just us or does everyone think Enuff Z’Nuff when they hear Phaneuf’s name?
[SI]: Poor Kirby Puckett. At least they’re not trying to freeze him.
[NY Post]: Come on Cuban, you can’t get into Bugalow 8 with that haircut
[Tampa Bay Online]: Another fine example of the people teaching our kids
[LA Times]: Kobe is a Zen master: “When you go to the bathroom, you can’t stand there and look at what you just dropped. At some point, you have to flush.”
Tanith Belbin was about the only reason to watch the Olympics this year since all the media whores like Bode Miller and Johnny Weir ended up doing squat. Tanith at least took home the silver medal and looked good doing it. Why is this even news in May? We don’t know. But we do know that from this ESPN interview, Dave Matthews would have to be nuts not to be calling the Skating with Celebrities producers right now. That, and she’s a Killian’s Irish Red kinda girl. Fine, this entry just an excuse to express our love for Tanith.
In other news…
[TwinCities.com]: You know how Vice President of Player personnel for the Vikings lied on his resume, had a terrible draft, and then got fired? Well, he is suing the Vikings for wrongful termination. What else would he had have to have done for it to be a rightful termination? Use a sex toy on a stripper on a boat cruise? Wait…
[High and Tight]: We see your Mike Lupica and we raise you Stephen A Smith
[The Senturion]: See.. we told you they knew how to talk trash in Canada.
[Left at the Gate]: This guy knows more than us about the Derby so we’ll use his picks… as soon as we can decipher them.
They don’t even know what number he’ll be yet but they don’t care. Saints fans have already ordered 15,000 Reggie Bush Saints jerseys. At 75 bucks a pop, that’s more money than the value of the house his parents live in for free. You think anyone cares about the housing scandal? We hear the Texans have already sold 4 Mario Williams jerseys.
In other news…
[Newsday]: (via Ben Maller.com) ESPN ratings for the NFL draft were up year over year from 4.1 to 4.7 despite competition from the NFL Network.
[ESPN]: Marcus Vick is headed to rookie QB camp in Miami. The good news is that if anyone tries to jack him, he’s strapped.
[MSNBC]: Why settle for one when you can ask for two? Schwarzenegger wants 2 NFL teams in LA.
(What? It’s Friday. We can’t make a bad joke in the headline?)
It seems that Reggie’s parents were supposed to pay $4,500 a month in rent but never paid because they didn’t have the money. Of course, no one seemed to worry about it because they knew that the $54,000 in back rent was chump change for the future #1 pick’s family. The lawyer for Michael Michaels, one of the founders of the failed New Era Sports & Entertainment has said he plans on filing a $3.2 million fraud lawsuit against Bush and his family. Concidentally, the NFLPA is investigating and extortion charge against David Caravantes, another shady figure in the whole scandal.
Meanwhile, Reggie Bush said that his family moved out not because of the Yahoo story hitting the wires but because they simply found a better place to live. We’re sure they have.
[Boston.com]: Keith Foulke thinks he should have the ball from the final out in the 2004 World Series. And he wants his damn shoes back too.
[AP]: Olympic gold medalist Tim Montgomery was arrested in connection with a mutlimillion-dollar bank fraud and money laundering scheme. Run Timmy run.
[USA Today]: Sometimes we wish the Sixers would do the same thing.
This isn’t real right? Right?
Real Odd of the day: 50-1 that Rafael Palmeiro confesses to using other drugs.
