General Sports

Seven songs sports fans hate

What’s worse than going to the arena/stadium/ballpark and seeing your favorite squad get their ass handed to them? For starters, there’s all that crappy music that gets blared over the loudspeakers in an attempt to get the fans pumped up. Hell, half of those songs are nauseating even when the home team is winning. According to The Putdown, these are the seven lamest arena anthems going today.

7. Dropkick Murphy’s – Tessie
6. House of Pain – Jump Around
5. Billy Idol – Mony Mony
4. Gary Glitter – Rock and Roll Part 2
3. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 400
2. Rednex – Cotton Eye Joe
1. 2 Unlimited – Get Ready For This

On the cooler side of arena anthems, this has to rank as one of our absolute favorites.


[The Putdown]: 7 lamest arena anthems

Green Bay Packers

The Day Football Died

Most people are sick and stinking tired of hearing about Brett Favre’s retirement. In fact, nobody really believes the guy is retired because until the Packers take to the field without a No. 4 on the roster, he could still weasel his way back into uniform. Personally, we’re pretty content with Favre riding off into the sunset, but we can’t speak all the Cheeseheads out there. So, we’ll let this babe handle that.

General Sports

Olympic medalist wants more gold, as in gold records

In case you don’t know, Carly Patterson won the Olympic all-around title in gymnastics for the United States in 2004. Since reaching the ultimate pedestal in her athletic field, Patterson has turned her attention and passion toward another skillful endeavor: singing. Now, we haven’t ever heard any of Patterson’s vocal stylings, so were not going to say she sucks just yet, but we are defiantly going to be suspicious until we hear her belt out our national anthem at a basketball game. Olympian Carl Lewis thought he could sing too until this fiasco left Derrick Coleman and Michael Jordan in hysterics.


[]: Olympic gold medalist singing a new tune with music career

Fantasy Baseball

Odds and Ends: Geddy Lee kicks fantasy baseball ass

Nice kimono, Neil

Last week, we wondered why Geddy Lee made a random appearance in the ESPN Fantasy Baseball commercial. Well, this pretty much explains everything. Not only is Geddy a huge baseball fan, he has been doing fantasy baseball since the 80s, which was before they invented the telephone and myspace. And if you think your league is hard, he plays in a total points keeper league with 40-man rosters.

I like the league because the rules are complex, yet they replicate much of a player’s real-life skills. If you draft a middle infielder, you not only want him to be a great hitter, you want points for double plays turned. It’s like building a real team. If you have a good combination of a strong catcher, center fielder and middle infielders, you will have a good team.

On top of that, they draft minor leaguers too. Jesus, we care barely decide whether a good pitcher on a bad team is worth a high draft pick. The most underrated lead singer of all time is a fantasy baseball junkie. Who knew? Hey Geddy, wanna join a 45-man roster Fantasy Football league?

In other news…

[Sporting News]: Lynn University student get credit for Final Four field trip

[Sports Law Blog]: Rethinking Contact Between NBA Executives and Parents of College Players

[NBC30]: Maradona enters rehab for drinking and eating too much. We are shocked.

[The Big Lead]: Curtis Granderson talks to the Big Lead

[The Wizard of Odds]: Something about Tim Tebow or something… but picture goodness

And finally, a video about the effects of drugs on spiders. No seriously.

College Basketball

E-E-F-G-C-A-G-G: It’s gold, Jerry, gold!

Usually the only music we notice during sports telecasts are snippets of pop/rock songs that we suspect are picked out by interns and floated up the flag pole. Sometimes you get cool stuff (Seven Nation Army) and sometimes you get the latest nickelback song (more on this below*). In any case, the song that’s been drilled into our brains for four days last week, and will be for another four days starting today is the CBS college basketball theme song.

In case you can’t think of what it sounds like, here’s an mp3 file:

Bob Christianson wrote the theme back in 1992 and, according to this article, composers can make as much as $100,000 per year of such a song from royalties. $100k! For something he did 25 years ago.

Christianson said he doesn’t tell many folks that he composed the NCAA theme, but occasionally he can’t resist a moment of self-promotion when he enters a sports bar during March and hears the theme blaring on TV.

He may tell the nearest patron: “I just made another two dollars.

This is rather amusing as everytime we hear the opening theme music to a basketball game, we’re about to lose $100.

*Tiger Woods and Roger Clemens were hanging out backstage with Nickelback. We’ve never liked Clemens but Tiger Woods just dropped out of our Top 10 athletes for having terrible taste in music.


[Baltimore Sun]: The perfect score

San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker isn’t the best rap lyricist

We didn’t even realize that Tony Parker was getting his MC Solaar on (anyone else old enough to remember Solaar?) but his rap single, Balance Toi, is blazing up the charts in France, which means it’s somewhere below Hall and Oates latest single in the U.S.   Here’s the music video of the song. You’d think there’d be a couple of sex scenes with Eva but nooooooo.. it’s just Tony hanging out at a club.

Thanks to Babelfish, here’s what Tony is saying:

Very soft I have my style
The rap borer in the tanks
Ca will hurt
And I avalle my pure style
The public claims me
And I assume serious
Lady… Lady… Lady… Lady… Lady…
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Oh baby go…
(Let’ S go)
You thinks that are ready for you baby
Ca makes boom boom in the baby club
Oh yes moves on the zic lady
Cool Tony.P and smoove
I apply
Hey Hey
DJ balances sauce like hab’
To like for glory I make it like hab’
Let slip when it is open bar
To thread well before two hours of a quarter
The ball has face it is the price
All these girl which me “ppss”
Baby you can to me éscorter for this night
Baby I have déja my wife for the life
Oké, have you evil to follow me
But which even follows me
Musical therapy
Tony.P from Texas in Paris
Want lie down with
Oh please

Go ahead balances itself of left on the right
I have the style which hurts
Go ahead balance you of left on the right
Tony.P with the fichal
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Oh baby go…
Check my Hip-Hop always with the signal
My flora notches there
Rap is my job, stop
Jump and jumpé jump hop
Tony.P with the star r’ B hop
Baby stops to a little are limited you
Baby stops a little me matter
Lady be charming for you and you know it
But knows that only environment with test
KOI new the snoop-dog in the enclosures
KOI you want dancer, nan it is not the sorrow
ME I remain quite sitted in the sofa
who makes the valve while raising the arms
Bring the girls in the V.I.P
Want you to sleep with
Oh please
– Refrain
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady… Lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady… Lady…
Go ahead balances degauche on the right
I have the sweat which hurts
Overshoot runway if
do not be to you ready A to make move
your shoulders
I have this p’ tit trick destey Oh
I make my own Oh dreams
I have this sound in the head
Quickly the piece acheve leaves
Ah Ah… Tony.P
Texas Servant boy
Let’ S go…

Ummm… we think something was lost in translation.  Because  “I have the sweat which hurts” isn’t cool.

MLB General

We want… no… NEED this CD

Why pay $3.99 for TO’s rap song when you can get an entire album of Major Leaguers singing for $17.99? Good Sports Recordings has unleashed “Oh Say Can You Sing” on the American public.

Their web site says that it “is a COOL project with no cheesy or campy elements allowed!” We’re going to go ahead and ignore that marketing copy. When you have Coco Crisp rapping an “original track”, there’s something very wrong. Still, on 11 tracks, there must be some good stuff here right? Besides Matt Ginter of the Tigers playing banjo on a song we’ve never heard of, that is. Actually, what we really want to hear is Matt Ginter rapping.

It’s for a good cause so we won’t make fun of it too much. However, they missed a golden opportunity on a can’t miss song that would make this a bestseller. How do they not have a duet of Enter Sandman with Mariano Rivera and Billy Wagner? That’s gold, jerry, gold!