Tripp Isenhour gives new meaning to the term "hawkeye"

When it comes to golf, we’ve heard of birdies and eagles, but we never hear about hawks when we’re out on the greens. Apparently there is a good reason for that; Tripp Isenhour kills them when they are too loud.

IIsenhour, who plays on the developmental Nationwide Tour, was charged Wednesday with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird, misdemeanors that carry a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines.

Isenhour quickly apologized Thursday.

“As soon as this happened, I was mortified and extremely upset and continue to be upset,” Isenhour said in a statement issued through his management company, SFX Golf. “I want to let everyone know there was neither any malice nor deliberate intent whatsoever to hit or harm the hawk. I was trying to simply scare it into flying away.”

The 39-year-old player, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, became angry while filming “Shoot Like A Pro” on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf Club when a squawking red-shouldered hawk roughly 300 yards away forced another take.

He drove closer to the bird in his golf cart and starting hitting balls at it. The bird didn’t move and Isenhour gave up and drove away.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said, “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

And you know what is coming next, right? PETA is gonna want a piece of his ass for lunch. But before everyone gets all worked up, let’s just make it perfectly clear that Isenhour is, in fact, an animal lover and he has three cats at his house that he adopted from a local animal shelter. So, take that PETA.


[]: Golfer apologizes for shot that killed protected hawk

Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick has murdered a lot more than a city’s Super Bowl dreams

Michael Vick was indicted Tuesday on some pretty nasty charges of competitive dogfighting, procuring and training pit bulls for fighting and conducting the enterprise across state lines. Vick and three of his associates could be facing six years in the slammer and $350,000 in fines if they are found guilty.

As if dog fighting wasn’t already bad enough as a general practice, we learned a little bit more about Vick’s sick rehabilitation plans for the pups at “Bad Newz Kennels.” Turns out that fighting might not even be the worst or most dangerous part for some of these dogs because it is reported that around eight dogs were killed in April in some very inhumane ways, namely by hanging, drowning, electrocuting, shooting or simply “slamming at least one dog’s body to the ground.” Call us crazy, but we don’t think that is the kind of hand’s on relationship the jury is going to want to see out of Vick the kennel owner.

Needless to say, the NFL was not too pleased with the latest development surrounding the man who at one time was considered the future of the league.

We are disappointed that Michael Vick has put himself in a position where a federal grand jury has returned an indictment against him,” NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy said.

“The activities alleged are cruel, degrading and illegal. Michael Vick’s guilt has not yet been proven, and we believe that all concerned should allow the legal process to determine the facts.

Even John Goodwin of the Humane Society was taken back by the horrific methods that Vick used to kill the dogs, saying that “Some of the grisly details in these filings shocked even me, and I’m a person who faces this stuff every day.” Everyone knew that Michael Vick had to be a pretty cold person to involve himself in the blood sport to begin with, but now it’s starting to look like he’s simply a truly psychotic, uncaring murderer. And what do we do with psychotic, uncaring murderers? We ferret leg those bastards and then we throw `em in prison. Duh.


[]: Vick indicted in dogfight case