Cincinnati Reds

Don’t ever call Ken Griffey Jr. a "penny pincher"

Ken Griffey Jr. is the man. Not just because of his early career when he was the baddest boy in MLB, but because the guy has a great sense of humor. For example, when Griffey lost a $1,500 bet to his teammate, he promptly paid up, but just not in the manner most would expect.

Pitcher Josh Fogg arrived at his locker Wednesday to find it stacked with 60 boxes of pennies, 2,500 pennies to a box. He immediately looked at Griffey and said, “That’s good, Griff, real funny. Kick me when I’m down.”

Griffey warned him but Fogg didn’t believe it when Griffey said he was going to pay off a $1,500 debt in pennies.

“I’m a man of my word,” said Griffey. “When you owe a man $1,500, you pay him. You can’t do a whole lot with pennies, can you? Just think, each box weighs 16 pounds so Fogg has 60 bowling balls in his locker.”

Said Fogg, “I’m going to take them to bullpen and count them because I have a lot time on my hands.”

Looks like Fogg is going to be spending the next two weeks feeding the local grocery store’s CoinStar machine. And if his luck is anything like ours then he’ll wind up with about 650 bucks for those $1,500-worth of pennies.


[]: Keppinger expected to miss 4 to 6 weeks

Chicago Bulls

Drew Gooden’s beard is a bet, but the pubic hair patch last year was all his idea

If you’ve been paying attention to the NBA this season then you’ve noticed the Bulls Drew Gooden’s mangled mess of a beard. And if you’ve really been paying attention then you’ve probably noticed that Gooden isn’t the only one sporting the Billy goat look. In particular, we’re talking about Washington’s DeShawn Stevenson. Turns out the two made a friendly wager over the summer to see who could resist the razor longer.

We both live in Orlando during the offseason, and we were talking,” Gooden said. ”I had the ducktail going last year, and he wanted to do something crazy this year. I said, ‘I’m not going to cut my beard this year, and I bet you can’t do it.’

”That’s how it all started. I dared him, and now we’re to this point. There are some penalties for whoever cuts the beard first.

Obviously, the first penalty would be losing the respect of lumberjacks across the nation, but the penalty Gooden is referring to is the $20,000 that is at stake. That’s a whole lotta money for just growing a beard and proper beard etiquette clearly states any beard bets over $500 are to be announced publicly in advance. Rumor has it that Kimbo Slice, Baron Davis and ZZ Top are pretty pissed they didn’t get invited to participate.


[]: Gooden hopes to be hair for the long run

College Football

Brady Quinn is the biggest homer ever

Whether you like him or not, Brady Quinn has a lot of things going for him. He’s young, rich, and talented, the ladies think he’s good looking and he parties like a rock star. However, he’s probably not the most rational guy in the world; at least, not when it comes to being objective about his Fighting Irish.

Seriously, he thought they could win the game straight up? No points? If anybody is looking to make a quick buck, just bet Brady that Notre Dame doesn’t make a bowl game. Easy money.


[Our Book of Scrap]: Brady Quinn In A Trojans Jersey

Boston Red Sox

Governors step up to the plate for the World Series’ dumb bet derby

Well, it’s World Series time and you know what that means, right? You got it; it’s time to for politicians to start making moronic bets involving foods which are supposed to be cultural staples. So, what do you got for us this year fellas?

(Massachusetts Gov. Deval) Patrick is putting up lobsters and ice cream vs. beef from (Colorado Gov. Bill) Ritter.

Whooopeee, can’t wait for the BCS National Championship game to roll around so we can do this all again. Wait, there’s more? Oh, no, there’s more.

Patrick and Ritter aren’t the only ones betting on their home teams.

U.S. Sens. Wayne Allard and Ken Salazar of Colorado are wagering Colorado-raised beef, while Massachusetts Sens. Edward Kennedy and John Kerry are countering with New England clam chowder and lobster rolls.

The senators who lose the bet will donate the grub to a charity chosen by the senators who win.

Reps. Mark Udall, Diana DeGette and John Salazar of Colorado have their own bet against Boston-area Reps. Edward Markey, Stephen Lynch and Michael Capuano.

If the Red Sox win, the Colorado representatives treat their counterparts to a meal of steaks and chili. If the Rockies win, the Massachusetts trio foots the bill for chowder and lobster.

Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper wagered sub sandwiches, herbal tea, tortilla chips, salsa and ice cream against Boston Mayor Thomas Menino’s clam chowder, coffee, doughnuts and ice cream sandwiches.

These are each stupid in their own unique ways, but what the heck are Hickenlooper and Menino thinking with their Half Baked grocery list of muchies? You do know that these bets aren’t solely done with the purposes of filling your pockets full of ice cream sandwiches and doughnuts.

Of course, then you’ve got the whole other issue of how these guys are completely outta touch with the baseball world. Frankly, while we find it funny when they pretend to be big fans, we honestly don’t want our politicians keeping up with sports. George `Dubbya’ can barely run the country as it is; do you really want him to be preoccupied with breaking down the pros and cons of Braylon Edwards versus Laveranues Coles?

And, by the way, if you come across any extra tickets, just give this guy a shout.


[]: World Series bet: Beef vs. seafood