File under: Jackass
“I made a mistake,” Winslow said. “I just have to prove everybody wrong and come back from it.”
Ummm. What? Didn’t you prove everyone who thought you were a complete douchebag right by riding your motorcycle into a shrubbery? What is everybody so wrong about? That you’re not a soldier? That you’re a jackass? That you are a moron who can’t ride a bike? It’s a shame he didn’t run over Jeremey Shockey.
In the wake of the death of 49er Thomas Herrion and an offensive lineman at Illinois Wesleyan, these $30 pills are a bargain. There’s some cool technology in there that monitors core body temperature and sends it to a wireless device. The pills stay in your system for 24 hours or more and can be used for up to 7 days. Currently, the Eagles, Vikings and Jaguars are the only three teams in the NFL using them.
How’d you like to be the intern responsible for retrieving the used pills? Man they couldn’t pay me enough.
File under: I did not have sex with that woman
“L’Equipe, saying it had access to laboratory documents, reported on Tuesday that six of Armstrong’s urine samples collected on the 1999 Tour de France showed “indisputable” traces of EPO (erythropoietin).”
Armstrong, of course, denies ever using performance enhancing drugs. After Rafael, I thought Mark McGwire or Sammy Sosa would be the next to get busted. Is there a pool for this?
It’s amazing how people in sports have no concept of what is right and wrong. Either everyone is always misquoted or these idiots think they’re in a closed locker room even when they’re speaking in front of reporters. Ozzie Guillen went from defending Caribbean players in one breath to disparaging gays in the next. His comment on Larry Krueger, a San Francisco sportscaster who said he was sick of brain dead caribbean hitters was, “that’s just ignorant, man.” And then upon seeing (possibly a friend) shouted, “Hey, everybody, this guy’s a homosexual! He’s a child molester!”
T.O. says, “Hyprocrite”.
File Under: Obvious
Randy Moss admitted on Real Sports with Bryant Gumble (hey, are they bringing back that Gumble and Gumble police show or not?) that he has smoked pot since he’s been in the NFL. Randy says he doesn’t abuse it but that he smokes pot every “blue moon”. Apparently, unlike Onterrio Smith, his Whizzinator ™ works.
File Under: Morons
$11,000 is the price of ruining your college and potential pro career. Along with Price, Williams is now the second player to be arrested for the theft of four laptops on campus. Being idolized on campus and all the chicks you want aren’t enough for these idiots. Police expect to make one more arrest. I hope to God it’s the mascott. Now that would be funny.
After Livan Hernandez got lifted from the game on August 5th, he tossed his glove, hat and jacket into the stands. Well the “fan” who walked out of the stadium with the glove decided it was worth $18k, season tickets next year, and playoff tickets this year. Livan, thankfully, told him to cram it with walnuts.
File under: Irony
Under the one time amnesty agreement for luxury cap payments, teams cut 18 players to save $212M. Yet the one player that was sure lock to get cut doesn’t. Go figure. The players cut were: Alonzo Mourning, Vin Baker, Derrick Coleman, Wesley Person, Eddie Robinson, Jerome Williams, Michael Finley, Ron Mercer, Calvin Booth, Aaron McKie, and Howard Eisley. Don’t feel too bad though, these guys all get their guaranteed money while being able to double dip and sign another contract with another team. Good work, GMs.
Remember in Searching for Bobby Fischer when Max offers his opponent a draw? Well, according to ESPN, the Eagles have sent Terrell Owens a letter informing him of his behaviorial issues and what is expected of him when he comes back to camp. Jesus, it’s like dealing with a 8 year old who won’t behave in class.
All this, folks, is just for the Eagles to cover their asses should they need to suspend him for the rest of the season.
Skip Bayless is actually (somewhat) defending T.O. In his latest column, Brainless says, “I don’t blame Owens for the migraine of a mess the Eagles find themselves in. I blame the Eagles.” Holy Crap. This is like saying Comedy Central is responsible for Dave Chappelle going off the deep end.
Bayless contends that the Eagles front office, being a bunch of arrogant jerks, gave all TO the advantage because they refused to trade him or acquire another WR right after his spat with DMac started. Basically, they thought they could control what no one else could control: TO’s ego.
“If the Eagles lose without Owens, the fans who have turned on him now will all but riot for the Eagles to bring him back. Oh, does Terrible have the Eagles right where he wants them.”
Meanwhile, I’ve been hearing that the Eagles FO is more than willing to use the “nuclear option” and suspend TO without pay for the rest of season. And they’re just waiting for a buttoned up, player union proof way to show that he’s violated the “good citizen” clause in his contract.