Categories
MLB General

Baseball franchise… Get your own baseball franchise here


There’s a new baseball league coming in 2007 and it’ll only cost you $100,000 for your own franchise. Imagine being the George Steinbrenner of… Lawrence, KS.

Former major leaguer Jay Johnstone is the face for the new Continental Baseball League, which will launch a 6-15 team league next year. (The CBL should not be confused with the Continental League, the proposed third major league in 1959.) The CBL will have a salary cap of $120,000, or about what A-Rod makes in 3 at-bats. Players would make between $4,000 and $10,000 a year, or about what A-Rod makes while applying mascara before the game.

The mission of the CBL is to bring affordable baseball to small communities. Ticket prices will be between $5 and $12 and all concessions will be kept under $3.50… except beer. Dang. Why can’t we have $3.50 beer?

The league is going to have one gimmick though. (No, not He Hate Me.) In the seventh inning, all home runs by the trailing team will count double. So a grand slam could be worth 8 runs. Seems kinda hokey, like the 10 point basket on MTV. Just give us $3.50 beer and we’ll do without the gimmicky homers, thanks.

Links:
[SignOnSanDiego.com]: This wacked-out idea is a 7th-inning stretch
[LJ World]: Lawrence on list for startup baseball league

Categories
General Sports

Why is Stu Scott such a tool?


Flipping through the channels between the Sharks-Oilers game and the Suns-Clippers game, we stumbled upon David Blaine’s aquaman event. The actual stunt was pretty stupid but we jumped in during the pre-taped magic portions. You gotta admit the trick where David Blaine removes a woman’s canines, chews em up and spits it back intact into her mouth was pretty mindblowing. Not so much for the trick itself but how he could convince the woman that her teeth were actually gone.

Well, that got us hooked. Until we started hearing a familiar, yet irritating tones of… who is it… can’t quite figure it out… mental calculation… ESPN… ABC… oh f’ing hell.. it’s Boo-Ya Scott. Why ABC/ESPN still think people enjoy hearing Stu Scott cover anything is beyond us. At one point, describing the damage that could happen to David Blaine’s hands as a result of the water logging, Stu asked us to imagine anyone who made a living with their hands: a concert pianist, a surgeon…. Tiger Woods. What the? Tiger Woods? Way to drop some knowledge on us, Stu.

Stu Scott, thankfully, left the “holla at your boy” and “underwater like the okey-doke” schtick at the ESPN set, but that didn’t stop us from hating ESPN, ABC, and Stu Scott for ruining more of our watching experience.

Among the great unanswered questions in our lives are: how is Keith Richards still alive and why does Stu Scott have a job?

Categories
New York Mets

Odds and Ends for Mon May 8 2006: Billy Wagner and Kobe need a hug

Just in time for this week’s three game series between the Mets and the Phillies, Billy Wagner told the Philadelphia Inquirer that he was not well liked in the Phillies clubhouse, that they wanted him to fail, and that Pat Burrell called him a rat. Poor Billy Boy. Like the Phillies wanted him to blow a crucial late season game against the Astros.

In other news…

[NBA.com]: Raja Bell’s mom talks trash to Kobe: “Need a hug, Kobe?” Ouch.

[ESPN]: Javon Walker called Favre a two-faced in an interview with Sportscenter. The gods reward him with a $40M contract.

[Balls Deep Sports]: ESPN covering Bonds too much? You don’t say

[Miami Herald]: Ahhh, good ole Miami, where athletes go to get robbed.

Categories
MLB General

Full Count for Mon May 8 2006: Babe hears you knocking



713*

1. Bonds blasts no. 713: Barry Bonds always has a knack for hitting homeruns in dramatic situations. So it wasn’t surprising when he hit his 713th career homerun on Sunday Night Baseball against the Phillies. His round tripper–in the sixth inning off Jon Leiber–traveled an estimated 450 feet to left and nearly went into the upper deck at Citizens Bank Park. This was one of many Bonds shots when you could tell it was gone the moment it left his bat, and it left him only one homerun away from tying Ruth on the all-time list. Of course, Bonds being Bonds, refused to sign the ball for the Air Force serviceman who caught it. Number 714 could come on the Giants’ upcoming homestand, in which they play Houston, Chicago, and Los Angeles over the next week.

2. Just what they needed: The Atlanta Braves have been struggling lately to say the least. After losing divisional series to New York and Philadelphia last week, they fell to nine games off the Mets’ pace coming into Sunday. But in their last game in the series against the Mets, they ran over the first place team like an 18-wheeler crushing a Kia. Mets pitchers Jose Lima and Bartolome Fortunato combined to allow all 13 of the Braves runs in the loss, including Fortunato’s 8 in only 1.1 innings. Every player in the Braves lineup contributed, with Jeff Francoeur and Brian Jordan hitting homers and John Smoltz even knocking in 2 runs. Smoltz pitched well too, striking out 8 in 6 innings. The Braves’ 13-3 domination proved that they could still defeat the Mets (many have been doubting), but they are still 8 games back of their heated rivals. While the Mets play Philadelphia next week, the Braves play the divisional weaklings in Washington and Florida.

3. Back in form: Johan Santana, after struggling through his first three starts, now appears to be in his top form. The ace won for his third start in a row against the Tigers, and even took a no-hitter into the 7th inning. He eventually allowed four hits–and two runs–but Santana proved that he can still be the dominating starter that he was in ’04 and ’05. Mike Maroth, the Tigers’ surprising new ace, was hit with the loss after allowing four runs through five innings. The Twins won the series over the second-place Tigers, but they are still 9 games back from the White Sox for the division lead.

4. THE Yankees win (for the 1,000th time): The Yanks completed a series sweep of the Rangers on Sunday, and gave Joe Torre his 1,000th win as manager of the Bronx Bombers. This places Torre fourth on the list of all-time Yankees managers, and it pushes him closer to 2,000 overall wins as a manger (combined with stints in Atlanta, St. Louis, and the Mets, Torre has 1894 wins). Torre’s team breezed through the Rangers 8-5 behind Hideki Matsui’s fifth homer of the year and Chien-Ming Wang’s excellent pitching. They are tied with the Red Sox for first place at 18-11.

5. Pitching problems: Many pitchers were injured over the weekend. The Mets’ Victor Zambrano is out for the season after tearing a tendon in his elbow. This led to bringing up Jose Lima from minors, who didn’t do too well in his first start. Elsewhere, Cardinals pitcher Sidney Ponson left the game against Florida because of problems in his elbow. The Cards still completed a sweep of the Marlins. Also, Ben Sheets, Milwaukee’s ace, missed his scheduled start against LA because of shoulder stiffness. Man, what is going on with these pitchers?

Categories
All Other Sports

The key to picking up chicks is texting



This is my texting finger

We have no idea who Shane Warne is but apparently, he is the cricket world’s answer to Wilt Chamberlain. His method of seduction? Heavy texting.

Last year, during a split with his wife as a result of a previous affair, he was caught cheating again having sex with a woman on the hood of his BMW. Of course a “friend” of the woman’s found her cell phone and released all the dirty text messages that Warne had sent her. He actually comes off as rather desperate for a professional athlete.

On Sunday, he was at it again. This time, a British tabloid (do they have regular newspapers in Britain?) released more text messages and photos of his three-way with two models, Emma Kearney and Coralie Eichholtz. Coralie was also the model who punched out Cameron Diaz for stepping on her dress. Is there anything this girl won’t do for publicity?


Shane blew our minds. He was so fit. I’d give him top marks for more than satisfying us. He was talking dirty all the time. It was full-on, hardcore and we had a great time. In the trouser department, he was above average.

Dammit, just once we’d like someone to say that about us. How much would that cost?

Links:

[IBNLive]: Caught out! Shane sex romp taped
[News of the world]: Photo Slideshow (NSFW)

[Mirror.co.uk]: SHANE’S AT IT AGAIN

Categories
MLB General

MLB Cost Index for May 8 2006

[We’ve moved the Cost Index to Mondays because what better way is there to start a week at your crappy job but to see how GMs are wasting millions of dollars on your underachieving team. (For most you anyway, both on the job and on the team.)]

This week, the Phillies and the Padres make the biggest leaps after wininng 8 in a row. The costliest club so far? Braves, Angels, Mariners and Yankees. But at least the Yankees are winning their division.

** all $ are in millions.

Rank (Pv) Team 2006 Payroll GP Wins YTD Payroll Cost/Win
1 (1) Marlins $15.0 29 8 $2.68 $0.34
2 (2) Rockies $41.1 32 19 $8.13 $0.43
3 (3) Devil Rays $35.4 32 13 $7.00 $0.54
4 (4) Reds $59.5 32 21 $11.75 $0.56
5 (7) D’backs $59.2 32 18 $11.70 $0.65
6 (6) Indians $56.8 32 17 $11.22 $0.66
7 (5) Brewers $56.8 32 16 $11.22 $0.70
8 (8) A’s $62.3 31 16 $11.93 $0.75
9 (9) Rangers $65.5 32 17 $12.93 $0.76
10 (10) Tigers $82.3 32 20 $16.26 $0.81
11 (12) Blue Jays $71.9 30 16 $13.32 $0.83
12 (21) Padres $69.7 31 16 $13.34 $0.83
13 (11) Cardinals $88.4 32 20 $17.47 $0.87
14 (15) White Sox $102.9 31 22 $19.69 $0.89
15 (16) Pirates $40.2 33 9 $8.20 $0.91
16 (17) Mets $100.9 31 21 $19.31 $0.92
17 (13) Astros $92.6 31 19 $17.71 $0.93
18 (20) Twins $63.8 31 13 $12.21 $0.94
19 (26) Phillies $88.3 31 17 $16.89 $0.99
20 (14) Orioles $72.6 33 14 $14.79 $1.06
21 (22) Nationals $63.3 32 11 $12.50 $1.14
22 (24) Royals $47.3 29 7 $8.47 $1.21
23 (27) Red Sox $120.1 31 19 $22.98 $1.21
24 (18) Giants $90.9 31 14 $17.39 $1.24
25 (19) Cubs $94.8 30 14 $17.56 $1.25
26 (23) Dodgers $99.2 32 15 $19.59 $1.31
27 (29) Braves $92.5 31 13 $17.69 $1.36
28 (25) Mariners $88.3 33 13 $17.99 $1.38
29 (28) Angels $103.6 32 14 $20.47 $1.46
30 (30) Yankees $198.7 29 18 $35.56 $1.98

Categories
All Other Sports

Your surefire triple-word-score Kentucky Derby picks



Bob and John is our Derby pick

OK. So the “theory of scrabbletivity” didn’t work for the Super Bowl. (Or perhaps it would have if not for the Seahawks getting jobbed by Bill Leavy… not that we’re still bitter about that or anything.) We think the TOS has to work for something, so why not the Kentucky Derby? After all, all the experts end up being wrong about 1000% of the time.

Here you go folks. When you win the Superfecta, make sure you send us a tip.

Win: Bob and John (15-1)
Place: Sweetnorthernsaint (8-1)
Show: Steppenwolfer (35-1)
Um.. whatever comes after Show: Brother Derek (9-2)

Here’s the full list:

Horse Odds Scrabble Word score
Bob and John 15-1 25
Sweetnorthernsaint 8-1 24
Steppenwolfer 35-1 23
Brother Derek 9-2 22
Point Determined 15-1 21
Jazil 35-1 21
Keyed Entry 40-1 21
Cause to Believe 50-1 21
Private Vow 50-1 21
Deputy Glitters 100-1 21
Flashy Bull 125-1 21
Sharp Humor 40-1 20
Sinister Minister 18-1 18
Showing Up 30-1 18
Bluegrass Cat 40-1 17
Lawyer Ron 6-1 15
Storm Treasure 60-1 15
Seaside Retreat 200-1 15
A.P. Warrior 18-1 14
Barbaro 7-1 11

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Odds and Ends for Fri May 5 2006: Zach Randolph is a white kid?

Last night, we watched the episode of Scrubs on DVD where Turk is photoshopped onto the cover of his college brochure… twice. Today, there’s a story about how some kid had to stand in for Zach Randolph in the Trailblazers’ team photo because he forgot to show up. Coincidence? Actually, yes. But it’s pretty goddamn funny that the Blazers would even bother having someone stand in, much less someone who is nowhere near the dimensions of Zack Randolph. It’s like using Rosie O’Donnell as a butt double for Keira Knightley. Damn.. now we both have that image in our heads. Sorry.

In other news…

[Kuklas Korner]: Proving once again that hockey players are the toughest athletes on the planet, Dion Phaneuf played with a broken foot. By the way, is it just us or does everyone think Enuff Z’Nuff when they hear Phaneuf’s name?

[SI]: Poor Kirby Puckett. At least they’re not trying to freeze him.

[NY Post]: Come on Cuban, you can’t get into Bugalow 8 with that haircut

[Tampa Bay Online]: Another fine example of the people teaching our kids

[LA Times]: Kobe is a Zen master: “When you go to the bathroom, you can’t stand there and look at what you just dropped. At some point, you have to flush.”

Categories
MLB General

MLB Power Rankings Roundup for 5-5-06

Has a team every gone wire to wire as the best consensus team in baseball? And will the White Sox be able to pull that off and win the World Series? Should be interesting to see if this team hits any rough patches during the season. They have to… right?

Meanwhile, the Tigers and their league leading 3.17 ERA pitching staff are the darlings of this week’s rankings climbing. But don’t tell that to TSN, who already had the Tigers #1 as of last week. The Tigers are doing well, but #1? Is the guy who writes the rankings for TSN related to Jim Leyland?

Here are your power rankings from the major sites this week. **Note that there is no update from USA Today. They must be busy writing the news for 4th graders…

Rank Sportscolumn ESPN FoxSports Sportsline USA Today** TSN.ca
1 White Sox White Sox White Sox White Sox White Sox Tigers
2 Astros Mets Tigers Mets Mets White Sox
3 Mets Yankees Mets Cardinals Astros Mets
4 Cardinals Reds Cardinals Astros Red Sox Reds
5 Red Sox Astros Reds Red Sox Cardinals Cardinals
6 Reds Tigers Astros Yankees Yankees Yankees
7 Yankees Blue Jays Yankees Tigers Indians Brewers
8 Tigers Red Sox Brewers Reds Tigers Astros
9 Rangers Cardinals Red Sox Brewers Blue Jays Rockies
10 Cubs Indians Blue Jays Athletics Angels Rangers
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
NBA General

Bulls and Pacers, you’re next up on the tee



Man amongst boys

Well, the 6 and 7 seeds are out of the Easter Conference playoffs as both the Bulls and Pacers headed off to summer vacation.

First, the Bulls. Despite a couple of nice efforts at home in games 3 and 4, they showed their inexperience and disparity in talent level by getting blown out in the final two games. In a home elimination game, with Dwyane Wade hurting, the Bulls were never even able to make a game of it, getting down by 10 after the first period. Tyson Chandler and Michael Sweetney were completely dominated by Shaq. Talk about a man amongst boys. Despite a first round exit, the Bulls have much to look forward to as they get at least a top 5 pick in the lottery this year thanks to Isiah Thomas’s ten-cent head.

Next up, the Pacers. When Anthony Johnson scores 40 points, you’re in trouble. After stealing game 1 of this series, the Pacers were unable to do anything with the home court advantage because Peja couldn’t play with his knee injury. Would Artest have made a difference in this series? Absolutely. There was a shot of Larry Bird and Donnie Walsh in the stands wondering what the hell they were going to do to improve the team. How do you build around Jermaine O’Neal? Do you keep Peja? Somehow this team went from perennial contenders to an easy out in the playoffs in 2 years. How the hell did this happen? Oh right, the Malice in the Palace.

Links:

[Frank the Tank’s Slant]: Bulls Can’t Take the Heat but Summertime Should be Fun
[Kolsky’s Bulls Blog]: No More Mr. Nice Shaq: Daddy is Back
[20 second timeout]: Anthony Johnson Scores 40, but the Nets Eliminate the Pacers
[Big Willie Style]: Pacers Post-Season Wrap-Up