Categories
Tennessee Titans

Chickenheads to the left, high class hos to the right



I’m rich beeyotch!

When you throw a party called “The New NFL millionaires club”, you can fully expect that
the attendees will be hos, hos and more hos. Pacman Jones is hosting the gig along with Lendale White and Vince Young.

Let’s break down the admission costs:

  • Ladies free before 11pm = ugly chicks. The three NFL players won’t bother showing up will 10:59.
  • $20 afterwards = more hos but with at least a little money.
  • fellas $20 all night = we don’t really want any fellas not in our entourage to attend anyway.
  • VIP Admission $40 = the high class hos who think they have a shot at hooking up with one of the NFL players.

If you think about it, it’s genius. Why go out to a club when you can announce a whole party for yourselves and have the hos line up for you? Plus, you hold it in Atlanta so they can’t bother you during the season. And for the hos, it’s worthwhile too. Vince Young is going to be there and judging from his Wonderlic score, you can do some jedi mind trick on him and you could end up with at least a palimony suit.

Links:

[Tennessean.com]: Atlanta nightclub touts party with Pacman, rookies

Categories
College Football

Auburn football players have easy classes

From the ‘obvious’ file comes the New York Times feature article today about how easy Auburn football players have it. College athletes get preferential treatment and don’t have to study? That’s about as shocking as Gary Glitter being a pedophile.

According to the NY Times, a lot of student-athletes took classes with a sociology professor named Thomas Petee called directed-studies classes which required no attendance and very little work yet always resulted in high grades. (How’s that different from any other class at Auburn?)

One of the athletes, Cadillac Williams admitted that his whole spring semester of his senior year, he only took 2 classes and both were with Professor Petee. It seems the sociology department at Auburn is a “dumping ground for athletes”.


The Auburn football team appeared to be the biggest benefactor of Professor Petee’s directed-reading offerings.

The 18 football players received an average G.P.A. of 3.31 in the classes, according to statistics compiled by Professor Gundlach. In all of their other credit hours at Auburn, their average was 2.14

Naturally, the Auburn administration is in mock disbelief over these allegations and you know the NCAA is going nuts over it as well. They like to maintain the illusion that the football programs at any of the top schools are anything but cash cows. Listen, folks, we don’t really care about all this academic nonsense. We just want to know what the latest point spreads are going to be. If anything, their insistence that academics has anything to do with college football is the reason any of us would even be mildly upset about this report. This is like people saying they go to strip clubs for the food. Don’t patronize us and we’ll be fine.

Links:
[NY Times]: Top Grades and No Class Time for Auburn Players

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

TO misquoted in his own book



Hero

Remember when Charles Barkley claimed he was misquoted in autobiography and then blamed himself? (“That was my fault. I should have read it before it came out.”) Ahhhh Sir Charles, with a wit as large as his behind. T.O. will never be Charles Barkley — though he’s trying his best.

TO said that the line in his book about his return from a broken leg to play in the Super Bowl, “If you’ll forgive me for saying so … nothing short of heroic”, was something thought up by his co-writer, Jason Rosenhaus and that he never used the term heroic.

Of course, those familiar with the saga of TO will remember that it was Chris Berman who first used the term in his Al-Jazeera interview with TO in the midst of the whole suspension fiasco last year. It was such a fluff interview that it seemd like Drew Rosenhaus wrote the questions for Berman.

And now back to the Century 21 presents baseball’s Verizon call of the day on ESPN with special guest announcer Mickey Mouse.

Links:
[MSNBC]: 2004 comeback was ‘heroic,’ T.O. writes

Categories
MLB General

MLB Power Rankings Roundup for July 14 2006

Not much changes in the power rankings the week of the All-Star break. However, TSN took the opportunity to juggle their top 10 — go figure. But they finally have the Tigers at #1 and so it’s almost unanimous in our survey. ESPN is the lone holdout with the White Sox on top but they didn’t even bother updating their rankings this week.

Here are the Power Rankings by major sites this week.

Rank Sportscolumn ESPN FoxSports Sportsline USA Today TSN.ca
1 Tigers White Sox Tigers Tigers Tigers Tigers
2 White Sox Tigers White Sox Red Sox White Sox Twins
3 Red Sox Yankees Red Sox White Sox Red Sox White Sox
4 Mets Red Sox Mets Mets Mets Yankees
5 Yankees Mets Yankees Yankees Yankees Red Sox
6 Cardinals Twins Blue Jays Twins Blue Jays Dodgers
7 Blue Jays Blue Jays Twins Cardinals Twins Blue Jays
8 Twins Padres Rangers Blue Jays Cardinals Padres
9 Padres A’s Padres Padres A’s Mets
10 A’s Rockies A’s A’s Reds Angels
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: The return of Mark Teixeira

1. Big Tex’s Big Game: Of all the disappointing players from the first half of the season, perhaps none was more puzzling than Mark Teixeira. The slugger, who was an All Star in 2005 with 43 homers and 143 RBIs, only had 9 and 49, made his first step to a comeback yesterday. He crushed 3 homers and 7 RBIs off the weak Orioles pitching. That means in one day he achieved one-third of his first-half homerun total and one-seventh of the RBIs! Tex wasn’t the only offensive star in the Rangers’ 15-1 rout of the O’s. Mark DeRosa went 4-4 and homered, and Brad Wilkerson drove in four runs. The awful Baltimore bullpen combined to allow 11 runs, including 5 homers.

2. Albert Again: When people think of the great clutch hitters in baseball, David Ortiz and Derek Jeter usually come to mind. But now that short list should definitely include Albert Pujols, who once again won the game for the Cardinals yesterday. Pujols homered in the 14th inning to break a long-lasting 2-2 tie. It was his 30th homer of the year, and he also has 77 RBIs. Pujols also won a game last Saturday with a homerun.

3. Offense rules: That saying is apparently upheld by the Rockies and the Reds, two perennially high-scoring teams who combined for 4 multi-run innings at the Great American Ballpark last night. The Reds started the scoring with a three-run first, including a two-RBI single, a steal, and a run by Adam Dunn. The score was 4-1 Reds in the sixth when the Rockies’ Todd Helton connected with a two-run shot. The seventh inning was all-Reds, as Ken Griffey Jr. and Juan Castro both hit shots to right to lead a 5-run inning. The game was apparently sealed in the ninth, with the Reds up 9-3. But no lead is too large when you have the Reds’ bullpen, and Jason Standridge and Eddie Guadardo nearly blew the game in the ninth. They allowed four runs, all charged to Standridge, but Guadardo struck out Helton with two outs to finally end this showdown.

4. Why’d they do that?: The Reds had more action last night than just their game. They were also involved in a semi-blockbuster trade. Cincy sent shortstop Felipe Lopez and outfielder Austin Kearns to the Nationals, but they didn’t acquire a big-name player from the willing-to-deal Washington organization. In return for these two offensive standouts, the Reds got relievers Bill Bray and Gary Majewski in addition to three other players. The Reds are desperate for bullpen help, but this might be going a little too far. They traded two everyday players to get relievers with mid-three’s ERAs on the year. In our esteemed opinion, that’s not a good deal.

5. His life: That might be the only thing that Jose Canseco is not willing to give federal officials. Yesterday Canseco told investigators the names of more former major league players who used steroids. Even more importantly, he told them the names of managers and administrators who might have known about the illegal drug use but did nothing to stop it. Canseco is even willing to join the investigators and “use his friendship with [the players] to talk to them comfortably [about steroids].” Canseco probably isn’t the most trustworthy of sources in our books. He recently called baseball the “mafia” and said they played favorites with drug tests.

Categories
Soccer

July 14 in Sports History: The El Salvador – Honduras Soccer War

In 1969: We’ve all heard of soccer riots. But a soccer war? Border tensions were escalating between Honduras and El Salvador for years, and a series of World Cup qualifying matches between the two countries spilled over into violence. Visiting fans were attacked and brutalized in each country. In the second game in El Salvador on June 27, Hondurans were attacked, their flag burned, and a girl committed suicide on the field. While the Soccer War was not directly related to soccer and more about the economic disparity between the two countries, the actions during the game in San Salvador caused the two governments to break off diplomatic relations, thus leading to combat. It was believed that over 6,000 people died in the Soccer War, which lasted only four days.

Categories
NBA General

Odds and Ends (07.13.06): the 720 degree dunk video

Enough people have sent us the 720 degree dunk link that we kinda feel we should post it even though it’s a little late. So here you go. Enjoy as you go “ooooooh”.

In other news…

[New York Times]: The real story here is that Barry Bonds had any friends to begin with

[Steeler Blog]: Roethlisberger was Seconds from Death

[NY Post]: This is why everyone hates the NY Media

[Baltimore Sun]: Barbaro’s chances for recovery from ‘catastrophic’ laminitis slim

[SF Gate]: Materazzi says that son of a dirty terrorist whore deserved Golden Ball

[TrojanWire]: Brian Cushing: lay off the damn twinkees

Categories
Soccer

Zidane headbutt Nintendo Soccer style

More here.

Categories
Soccer

The best of Zidane headbutting gifs

You know, a lot of press goes to the collaborative nature of the internet and Web 2.0 blah blah blah blah blah … but as far as we’re concerned, the real benefit is for threads like this on Something Awful. Internet geeks can be a clever clever bunch. Although some of them spend way too much time playing video games. In any case, here are the best of the Zidane animated gifs. The MC Hammer one is genius.


 


 

And one more big one here.

Categories
New York Giants

Do NOT mess with Jean Strahan

I believe the expression “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” was written espressly with Jean Strahan in mind. To recap, she’s labeled Michael Strahan as:

  • cheap
  • but ostentatious on himself
  • a cheater
  • gay
  • wife beater

Now you can add another thing to the list: pervert. Jean testified that when the two were dating, Michael secretly videotaped her sister undressing and when Jean found the video equipment, he wired $30,000 to her account.

In addition, when testifying on his relationship with Nicole D’Oliveira of Toronto, Strahan said that he did business with her sometimes but when pressed about it, said that it was not a business that brought him any income. Hmmm… the “business” sounds like the oldest one — a terrorist whore.

Links:
[NJ.com]: Wife: Strahan secretly taped sister-in-law