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All Other Sports

Danica Patrick throws a hissy fit

We can’t decide whether showing a video of Danica Patrick throwing a hissy fit after running out of gas with two laps to go is contributing to the ridiculous Danica Patrick hype or not. But it’s a fairly amusing video. As the folks over at Fark pointed out, she looks exactly like Dark Helmet in Spaceballs.



“Hey Danica, don’t tear down the cones, baby.”

Now, to be fair, a lot of racers are know for getting all mad and stuff when they lose a race so it’s not just because it’s “that time of the month“. What is it about non-athletic “sports” that cause their competitors to act more frustrated about losses than real athletes? Check out the WSOP sometime if you want to see a bunch of drama queens.

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Houston Rockets

No shark fin soup for you!


It’s been a while since Yao Ming has been in the news. But he’s back to tell you to lay off the shark fin soup and save other wildlife.


As the human population increases, many wildlife species are decreasing, and the primary reason is that humans fail to treat animals as friends.

He also taped a television commercial where he jumps onto a basketball court to block a bullet fired at an elephant. Think about this for a second folks. This is like a David Lynch movie. A 7-foot-5 Chinese guy jumps onto a basketball court to block a bullet fired at an elephant. And in the background, a monkey wearing lipstick masturbates and falls off the rim.

In actual basketball news, Yao Ming says he is at 80% and looking forward to praticing with the Chinese National Team in advance of the world championships in Japan. Meanwhile, the Chinese team just lost six of seven games in a mini-tourney in Europe so perhaps Yao should be worried more about human rights violations to his teammates and coaches than protecting sharks.

[USA Today]: Yao Ming swears off shark’s fin soup
[Reuters]: Yao putting best foot forward for world champs

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MLB General

August 2 in Sports History: Thurman Munson dies in plane crash


In 1979: New York Yankees catcher Thurman Munson was killed when the single-engine plane he was learning to fly crashed in Canton, OH. Munson, the clubhouse leader of an outstanding Yankee team that had won back-to-back World Series titles, was 32. He was a seven-time All-Star, three-time Gold Glove winner and won the 1970 A.L. Rookie of the Year award and the 1976 A.L. MVP. He was a career .292 hitter, but hit .356 in 30 postseason games. A memorial service would be held the next night at Yankee Stadium vs. the Orioles, with 51,151 fans attending. It was the largest crowd of the season.

In 1921: The eight Chicago White Sox players accused of throwing the 1919 World Series are acquitted by a jury in Chicago. According to trial accounts, the jurors hoisted the “Black Sox” on their shoulders as they left the courtroom. Newly appointed Commissioner Kennesaw Mountain Landis would have none of it, and the very next day he banned Buck Weaver, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Eddie Cicotte, Chick Gandil, Happy Felsch, Lefty Williams, Swede Risberg and Fred McMullin from baseball for life. Weaver and Jackson (although he earlier confessed to it) contended that they were not in on the fix; and despite their best efforts to be reinstated, they never again played a big league game.

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MLB General

The Full Count: Big Papi does it again


1. Mr. Walk off: David Ortiz has now easily established himself as one of the greatest clutch hitters of all time. Ortiz, just two days removed from a 4-5, 4 RBI performance complete with a game-winning single, hit a walk off three-run homer in the ninth to defeat Cleveland. His 4 RBIs gave him a whopping 105 for the year, bringing his pace to 164. The last player to drive in that many runs in a season was Ortiz’s teammate Manny Ramirez, who had 165 ribbies in 1999. Papi hit two homers on the day to once again bring back his major league lead (Ryan Howard had tied him at 35). Though Ortiz is 30 and only has 214 career homers, he will elevate himself to the level of the all-time great power hitters if he can keep this pace up.

2. Hey, it’s another rookie pitcher!: The American League class of rookie pitchers has dominated the headlines. Francisco Liriano, Jered Weaver, Jonathan Papelbon, and Justin Verlander have all performed above any level expected for a rookie. But one of the best rooks comes from the National League. He’s Josh Johnson, Florida’s youngster who has a 2.52 ERA. That is good for the NL lead, which means each league’s ERA leader is a rookie and it’s the end of July. That, needless to say, is the first time that’s ever happened. Johnson received plenty of run support and won his 9th game of the season yesterday against the Phillies. He allowed just one run and five hits, with one of the hits coming against the Phillies’ Chase Utley. That extends Utley’s hit streak to a whopping 32, the best since Jimmy Rollins’ 38 game streak that ended this April.

3. Almost perfect: The Twins just wrapped up their 61st win of the season, putting them eight games back of the Tigers (who lost). They absolutely ripped through the Texas Rangers, shutting them down 15-2. The Twins’ performance was almost perfect, as they collected 18 hits, with seven starters having multi-hit games. Carlos Silva, though he has been incompetent so far this year, pitched well to earn his seventh victory. His ERA stands at 6.49, and he is the weakest link of the Twins’ otherwise solid rotation. The stunned Rangers have suddenly moved into last place in the AL West.

4. Powerhouse: What got into the Arizona Diamondbacks last night? They pounded the Chicago Cubs for 15 runs, 10 extra base hits, and 6 homers in a rout. They were one of three teams (see above) that scored 15 runs last night, a rare occurrence for sure. Secondbaseman Orlando Hudson had a career effort, with 2 homers and 6 RBIs. Arizona moved to a game back of the Padres in the NL West, and they now stand at 54-51. Brandon Webb didn’t have his best stuff but rode his offense to his 12th victory of the year. The Diamondbacks are used to wild games like this; they have scored and allowed the most runs in their division.

5. More trading: Some of the trades that went down yesterday were revealed after FC was written. The Dodgers were probably the biggest winners, acquiring shortstop Julio Lugo from the Devil Rays and legend Greg Maddux from the Cubs. LA is Maddux’s third team, and will probably be his last. Meanwhile, the Mets got reliever Roberto Hernandez and Olivier “Remember 2004?” Perez from the Pirates. They dealed outfielder Xaiver Nady for those two pitchers. Those were likely the biggest two trades of the eight that went down yesterday, but the biggest news is who didn’t get moved. Alfonso Soriano and Miguel Tejada were rumored like crazy for a trade but will stand pat.

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All Other Sports

Poker Playing Chimp denied entry to WSOP

Remember that publicity stunt we told you about last week where a company was training a chimp to play poker and wanted to enter him into a WSOP event for $10,000? Well, the WSOP people have nixed it.


He will not be registered, nor will he play,” said Gary Thompson, spokesman for the World Series of Poker. “We are not letting any chimpanzees in. It would be cruel to the chimpanzee and unfair to our players.

Too bad this didn’t happen. It would have been hilarious to see one of the poker “stars” get knocked out by a chimp or get some feces thrown on them. By the way, who are these people lining up to get autographs of poker players? It’s not a sport, people!

Speaking of chimps…

[Miami Herald]: Nick Saban turns down invitation to have dinner with Bush

In other news…

[Yahoo]: Kellen Winslow says he’s misunderstood…blah blah blah

[NY Post]: Jeremy Shockey calls Tom Coughlin an “ass”

[Sports Chanting]: Top 10 Hottest Female Sportscasters

[10000 Takes]: Brett Favre Is Like A Snow Globe

[Subway Serial]: New Mets Team Rules

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Miami Heat

Shaq to promote Li-Ning shoes

Sina.com is reporting that Shaq has signed with Chinese shoe company Li-Ning to promote their shoes. Shaq follows in the footsteps of former teammate Damon Jones, the first NBA player to sport Li-Ning. Terms of the deal were not disclosed.

We find this highly ironic since a couple of years ago, Shaq directed a racial taunt at Yao Ming via a reporter:


Tell Yao Ming, `ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.’

Here’s what we have learned about sports marketers in the past year: 81 points erases a rape charge and infidelity; another championship ring erases racial remarks and being a dumbass. If Fuzzy Zoeler won another PGA event, KFC might come calling with some sponsorship dollars.

Links:
[China Daily]: Shaq to promote LiNing sneakers

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All Other Sports

Say goodbye to Floyd Landis



Negative branding for Oakley

99.9% of the world couldn’t have picked Floyd Landis out of a lineup prior to this year’s Tour de France. And now we imagine he’s going to start growing a beard and sporting dark glasses like Rafael Palmeiro to avoid recognition in public. Despite his protests that the doping allegations were unfounded, it seems he did in fact cheat.

Just last Friday, Landis claimed that it was a natural occurence and the testosterone in his body was “natural and and produced by my own organism.”


I don’t know what the explanation for it is, whether it was a mistake or whether it’s an occurrence from some other circumstances that go on in the race or something I did.

But it was not from an exogenous outside source of testosterone.

Well, today, reports are that the urine sample that showed some of the testosterone in his body was from an external source.

How did Landis actually think he could get away with this? I guess when you’re already past the point of no return, why not just start lying your ass off? Some people take the “I didn’t know my massage therapist rubbed me with testosterone” route, Landis decided to take the ‘I didn’t do it’ route. The results of the second test are expected this Saturday.

All the pundits are claiming that Landis has ruined the Tour de France. But can you really ruin something that no one cares about? It’s like saying the slam dunk ruined the WNBA.

Links:
[Sign On San Diego]: Devastating news for Landis in report
[NY Times]: Testosterone in Landis test is said to be not natural

[BBC ]: Landis B result set for Saturday

Categories
NFL General

Argonauts accused of bullying intern

The Toronto Argonauts have a community program called “Huddle Up” which is an anti-bullying campaign. So, of course, there is an uproar in Toronto about the team hazing a 22-year-old intern after a photo was released of the intern taped to a goalpost with food being poured over him.

However, this is much ado about nothing as it turns out it was the intern’s birthday and the team was just having some fun with him. Coach Mike Clemons defended his team:


This young man said in his 22 years that this was the best birthday he had in his life. When we did this we put pineapples on him because we said, `You should be in the Caribbean somewhere on your 22nd birthday’.
We put on string beans because he’s built wiry, like a string bean, and we had whipped cream and cherries on top because it was his birthday and we’re proud to have him here as a member of the Toronto Argonauts.

When we took him off we also embraced him and hugged him and made sure he wasn’t injured. And (by dousing him) with water we celebrated him as we do in sports and he was now an official member of the Argonauts football team.

This reminds us of the one time we were tied up and had whipped cream and cherries poured on us by a bunch of dudes. That didn’t end well… though with the help of therapy and by the grace of God, we can step foot into a Baskin-Robbins again.

Links:
[Toronto Star]: Argos accused of degrading intern; coach stands by team

Categories
New England Patriots

We talkin’ bout practice!

As you might have heard, Tom Brady has missed two days of practice. Belichick won’t say why and somehow this is national news. In honor of this story, here is the classic Allen Iverson video.

Categories
MLB General

August 1 in Sports History: Raffy caught with steroids



I did not have sexual relat..

In 2005: Just 135 days after self-righteously wagging his finger in front of Congress and the nation, claiming, “I have never used steroids, period,” Rafael Palmeiro of the Orioles is suspended for using steroids. Palmeiro stood by the statements he made on March 17, claiming that he did not knowingly take anything illegal (where have we heard that one before?). He was still suspended for 10 days, however, and the Orioles cancelled a celebration of his recent 3,000th hit. Palmeiro only appeared in seven more games and is currently out of baseball.

In 1978: Pete Rose’s National League record-tying 44-game hitting streak came to an end, 12 games short of Joe DiMaggio’s 1941 feat. Rose’s streak (shared with Willie Keeler) began on June 14 in Cincinnati against the Cubs, and ended against pitchers Larry McWilliams and Gene Garber in Atlanta. After the game, Rose publicly blasted both pitchers for not throwing him any fastballs, despite the game being a 16-4 rout in favor of the Braves. Charlie Hustle would go on to become the all-time leader in hits with 4,256. He was permanently banned from baseball for gambling in 1989 (baseball-almanac.com).