Video Games

Madden 09 is ready to blow some friggin’ minds

Make sure you’re sitting down before watching the following clip of Madden NFL 09 because it has the potential to literally – BOOM! – knock you off your feet.

The most amazing part is that, just like in real life, you have no idea what team Brett Favre will be playing on. He might be posing on the cover wearing the familiar green and yellow, but, turns out, he’s randomly assigned to a different team in each copy of the game. We sure do hope we get to throw game-costing interceptions with Favre on the Cowboys!

Video Games

Nintendo’s Wii Fit is a friggin’ bully!

Most of the time when kids are picked on and made fun of, they hide from the world and turn to television shows or video games, like we did. After some kids called us nerds in the second grade and we spent the next three months in our bedrooms playing Metroid. But what happens when your software starts taking cracks because you’re not athletically gifted or dweeby or a little on the stout side? Well, if you’re the parents of a little girl in Europe then you get pretty pissed.

A report in the U.K. paper Daily Mail highlighted an incident in which a 10-year-old girl was told by the Wii Fit software that she’s “fat.” The girl was very upset to be told that and the parents were none too pleased.

“She is a perfectly healthy, 4ft 9in tall 10-year-old who swims, dances and weighs only six stone,” said the father. “She is solidly built but not fat. She was devastated to be called fat and we had to work hard to convince her she isn’t. I know it is just a game but we already have to worry about young girls starving themselves to look like magazine models and now we have a game that tells them they’re fat. This to me is very worrying.”

It’s apparently worrying to Tam Fry of the National Obesity Forum as well. In Wii Fit after a player enters his/her height, the software uses BMI to measure body fat based on an adult’s height and weight. Fry, however, thinks the measurement is misleading and he’d like to see children banned from playing the game.

“I’m absolutely aghast that children are being told they are fat,” he said. “BMI is far from perfect but with children it simply should not be used. A child’s BMI can change every month and it is perfectly possible for a child to be stocky, yet still very fit. I would be very concerned if children were using this game and I believe it should carry a warning for parents.”

Kinda hypocritical of Nintendo to be calling little kids fat if you ask us. After all, the face of your corporation is a prime candidate for Slim Fast.


[]: Nintendo Apologizes for Wii Fit Calling Little Girl `Fat’
[Mail Online]: Obesity experts condemn Nintendo’s Wii `Fit’ game after it tells 10-year-old girl she’s fat

Video Games

WNBA Live 08 hits the shelves and stays there

What could be more exciting than virtually controlling your favorite WNBA superstarlets? Geez, where do we start? There’s going to the dentist, doing your taxes, watching your clothes tumble dry, counting cracks in the sidewalk, brushing your dog, alphabetizing your CD collection…


[]: Finally, a Hoops Video Game That Emphasizes the Fundamentals

Video Games

The Chinese just don’t make computer nerds like us Americans

There are lots of things out there that can kill you: car wrecks, disease, mother nature’s fury, lunatic murders, war, famine, old age, and so on. You get the idea. Anyways, the point is that the last thing in the world you’d expect to kill you would be the internet. But if you’re a 30-year old Chinese man with an obsessive compulsion to play video games for days on end then that’s exactly what might kill you.

The 30-year-old man fainted at a cybercafe in the city of Guangzhou on Saturday afternoon after he had been playing games online for three days, the Beijing News reported.

Paramedics tried to revive him but failed and he was declared dead at the cafe, it said. The paper said that he may have died from exhaustion brought on by too many hours on the Internet.

The report did not say what the man, whose name was not given, was playing.

The report said that about 100 other Web surfers “left the cafe in fear after witnessing the man’s death.

We don’t know what the guy was playing, but it would make us feel a lot better if it was World 1-1 on the original Mario because we’re still trying to slide down that damn flagpole. Still, this is all very shocking to the system. While unassuming in it’s the nature, the computer lures you into hypnosis with it’s high speed connections and real time, multi player experiences only to leave you starving and sleep deprived to the point of physical shutdown. It’s all coming true, just like Matthew Broderick said it would; sorta.


[]: Chinese man apparently dies of exhaustion after days of gaming

Video Games

Japanese arm wrestling machine opens up a can of whoop ass

Every single day the world of reality and the world of virtual reality blend a little more and with modern technology and creative ingenuity continually breaking new ground there has been an outcry for more interactivity in today’s video games. The Nintendo Wii is a perfect example as players can now experience 18 holes without ever leaving the comfort of their living room. But there is such a thing as being too realistic.

In Japan, 150 interactive arm wrestling games have been wreaking havoc on potential Lincoln Hawks as the mechanical arm that is used in the game has been actually breaking the arms of its human opponents. Three people had their bones snapped by the machine that simulates arm wrestling against various levels of opponents, such as a French maid, a pro wrestler, a sauced up martial arts master and a Chihuahua!

The Distributor Atlus Co. intends to remove the machines from local arcades and will check for malfunctions in the “Arm Spirit” game, but a spokeswoman for the company feels certain that the machine isn’t at fault for the injuries and basically calls the Japanese people puny weaklings.

The machine isn’t that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it,” said Atlus spokeswoman Ayano Sakiyama, calling the recall “a precaution.

Guess people are going to have to return to the old fashioned, non-virtual way of getting their arms busted:


[]: Arm Wrestling Machine Recalled For Breaking Arms

Video Games

Dec 5 in Sports History: Dad, what’s a video arcade?

In 1983: As a very prehistoric precursor to the John Madden video game franchise, the NFL introduced its first video arcade game, the creatively titled “NFL Football.” Madden it sure as heck wasn’’t, as there were very few features. In fact, the game’s creators were banking that the kids pumping their quarters in didn’’t mind being the Raiders and the Chargers all the time, because that’s all they were getting. After the play was selected, it showed the play using actual footage from a real NFL game between those two teams. Also, there was no dynasty mode or anything cool (like you could be Marcus Allen and bang OJ Simpson’s wife or Dan Fouts and be really fucking annoying on the air). Unfortunately, the game didn’’t do very well (there was a second edition with Redskins-Cowboys) and production was halted in 1984. (

In 1981: Speaking of Marcus Allen, football’s most beloved adulterer won the Heisman Trophy as a tailback at USC, edging out Georgia sophomore Herschel Walker in a close vote. Allen was the fourth USC running back to win the Heisman (hey, OJ won one too…Maybe you own it!) but was the only Trojan to rush for over 2,000 yards in a season. He was also the first player to run for over 200 yards in four straight games. Allen was drafted by the Raiders in 1982, and he went on to have a hall of fame career and won a Super Bowl MVP in 1984.

In 1982: Herschel Walker finally got his due by winning the Heisman Trophy as a junior, easily outdistancing Stanford‘s John Elway (Dan Marino finished 9th, way behind Tony Eason). Many felt that Walker should have won in his freshman year, when he ran for over 1,600 yards, 15 touchdowns and outclassed George Rogers, South Carolina’s Heisman winner that year, in a key Bulldog’s victory. Only a bias against underclassmen kept Walker from possibly winning an unprecedented three straight awards. Had Walker stayed in Athens for his senior year, he probably would still hold all Division I-A rushing records, as he had over 5,000 yards and 50 career touchdowns with a whopping 5.3 yards per carry in only three seasons. He decided it would be a better idea to try and commit career suicide, however, and he went to the USFL’s New Jersey Generals for three years. (

Video Games

Madden 07 is out today

Aaron Brooks about to throw an INT

Well, here it is kids, launch day for Madden 2007. We don’t even have an xbox 360 and we’re salivating over the screenshots. By all accounts, Madden 2007 for the xbox 360 is a giant leap over last year’s rushed release. It looks like Madden 2007 will guarantee two things: increase in xbox 360 sales and a season ending injury for Shaun Alexander (sorry Fantasy owners).

Here are a bunch of articles if you’re still wondering whether to buy it or not. (Of course you’re going to buy it.)

[IGN]: Madden NFL 07 Review

[EA Sports]: Official Madden Site

[]: Madden 2007 Page

[SI]: Madden 07 Review

[Game Zone]: Madden 07 Review

[Team Xbox]: Madden 07 Review

[]: Residents of Madden, MS create a holiday and get free xbox 360s

Video Games

Madden 2007 is trying to wreck Shaun Alexander’s season

Sorry Seattle fans

EA Sports announced that Shaun Alexander, the Seattle Seahawks $62M man is going to be on the cover of Madden 2007. Seattle fans and Mike Holmgren are already cursing EA but Shaun is just happy to collect the big endorsement check.

To be on the cover of Madden NFL 07 is a big milestone in my career since I have always been a huge fan of this franchise. EA SPORTS is focusing on the running game in this year’s version, so I was honored when I was chosen to be on the cover to represent the improved running game.

We’ll see what Alexander has to say when he becomes the latest victim of the Madden cover jinx. Here’s the easiest Fantasy Football advice you’re going to get: DO NOT take Shaun Alexander with your first round pick.

Oh, the jinx is very real folks. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Vegas odds for Seattle winning the Super Bowl just dropped in half. Here’s a rundown of covers and actual performance since Eddie George in 2001.

  • 2001 Eddie George: His jinx took a year to kick in but his rushing production went from 1509 yards to 939 the year after appearing on the cover.
  • 2002 Daunte Culpepper: Daunte went from fantasy stud (33 TDs and 3937 yards) to fantasy dud (14 TDs and 2612 yards) and finally succumbed to a knee injury.
  • 2003 Marshall Faulk: Total production went from 2147 to 1490 all purpose yards, a 44% decrease. The Rams went from Super Bowl runner up to 7-9.
  • 2004 Michael Vick: Broke his ankle in a preseason game. The quickest jinx in Madden history.
  • 2005 Ray Lewis: Ray Lewis avoids the cover jinx… because he was just standing there.. didn’t see a thing. Nope. Didn’t see a thing.
  • 2006 Donovan McNabb: DMac got into a highly publicized feud with Terrell Owens and then had his season cut short by a sports hernia.

So what’s in store for Shaun Alexander? Here are the official SC odds:

  • 5-1 Torn ACL or MCL
  • 4-1 Ankle injury
  • 3-1 Sharp decline in production
  • 20-1 Broken ankle on horse collar tackle
  • 50-1 no injury
  • 100-1 Breaks hand while washing his truck

[Video Game Generation]: Seahawks MVP Shaun Alexandar Soars on Madden NFL 07 Cover

Video Games

The Top Cyber Hockey Players of all time

I’m about to do my thing with the thing

IGN confirms what anyone who has ever played NHL 94 on the Sega Genesis knows, Jeremy Roenick was unstoppable. This is why Swingers is such a genius movie. What else could capture the 90s better than two guys playing NHL 94 with Trent saying “It’s not even so much me as it is Roenick. He’s good.”

My roommate Andy and I used to play a full 7 game series every night after work. Roenick was so good that we were banned from using Chicago. Although he used to kick my ass with Alexander Mogilny who is #14 on IGN’s list. I didn’t think anyone but my roommate used Buffalo.

Rounding out the top 10 are: Gretzky, Patrick Roy, Lemiux, Hasek, Forsberg, Jagr, Iginla, Belfour, and Chelios. Jerome Iginla is the only one from a recent game (NHL 2K5) to make it.

[IGN]: Top 25 Cyber Athletes of All-Time: Hockey