Category: All Other Sports

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Hey Lance, nobody cares what you think


Hey, everyone gather round, Lance Armstrong, doping expert and medical doctor doesn’t believe that Floyd Landis took any banned substances when he won the Tour de France last year.


I think conventional wisdom is that he will lose (his arbitration hearing), because USADA has never lost a case,” said Armstrong, the guest speaker Tuesday at an Aspen Ideas Festival health forum discussion.

“The arbitrators don’t ever rule for the athletes,” Armstrong said, according a story in Wednesday’s edition of The Aspen Times. “Quite frankly, the system is set up against the athletes. Unfortunately for him, I don’t think he did it. That’s always been my position and still is today.

So despite multiple positive tests and expert testimony that the levels of testosterone could not have been produced naturally, Dr. Lance Armstrong has decided that Floyd Landis isn’t guilty of doping. Oh, and don’t forget the story about Landis’ manager threatening Greg LeMond if he testified against Landis.

There’s about 100% chance that Floyd Landis doped up for the Tour de France. There’s a slightly less than 100% chance that Armstrong did too and just never got caught. So Lance, shut the f up and go back to hawking crappy yellow bracelets.

Links:
[Fox Sports]: Armstrong: Landis is innocent of doping

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Bobby Lashley beats the clock on RAW



No more Mr. Nice Guys with the belt on
the line.

The night began with a ring of full of competitors for John Cena’s WWE Championship belt, but by the time RAW and a “Beat the Clock Challenge” had ended, it was Bobby Lashley who was declared the No. 1 contender. So, at The Great American Bash it will be Cena and Lashley hooking it up in the battle of the golden boys.

But just when it looked like Cena and Lashley we’re going to play nice, Lashley delivered a wicked spear to the champ and started gloating with the belt. Way to walk on the wild side, Bobby. This rivalry is all well and good, but we’re just not really feeling it. We’d much rather see one of the big time RAW heels get a shot at running the show, like Randy Orton, King Booker or Mr. Kennedy. Wait, scratch Kennedy off that list; there’s no way we can root for him after Super Crazy beat him last night in about 30 seconds. Unfortunately, everyone knows that the spinner belt is firmly tightened around Cena’s waist and it would take an epic effort from Lashley to steal it away. Either way, we’re pretty sure the encounter is going to end with a handshake and a rematch.

In other news from RAW, Umaga finally beat down that Italian guy and promptly celebrated his newly won Intercontinental title by attempting to eat the belt. Where’s Armando Estrada when you need him? It was not too long ago that the Italian guy got called out of the crowd to get slaughtered by the Samoan Bulldozer, but, instead, won the belt with a little help from Lashley. So, it’s only fitting that Umaga was the one to put this chump back into his rightful place: watching the show in the crowd. Santino Marella was seriously one of the most pathetic champions in the history of WWE, and if that guy is capable of holding gold then we’re only an eyelash away from seeing Eugene walk to the ring sporting the Intercontinental title. The only thing that could be less believable than that would be if Johnny Nitro was a brand’s champion…oh,wait, nevermind.

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Even ESPN struggles for good ideas at times

Okay, we know that ESPN is the all-mighty sports deity and they probably have a pretty good idea by now of how to run a billion dollar, multimedia corporation, but even the great ones have their dumb moments. Like this Top 10 list for example. We know that it’s hard work to churn out a new list every day for SportsCenter, but do we really need to know the Top 10 Bird Moments?

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Hulk Hogan’s kid is no champ behind the wheel

Nine times out of ten, we would never suggest that anyone go into professional wrestling, especially with the horrible writing that is dominating the WWE these days. And then there’s the whole Chris Benoit double murder-suicide thing that’s really putting a dark cloud over the world of pro wrasslin. But we think we might have found our exception to the rule: Nick Hogan.

The Hulkster’s kid is trying to become a race car driver but he doesn’t seem to be having much luck. Well, let’s just say he didn’t fare too well at the NOPI event held in Carson, CA on Saturday when he smashed up a perfectly good Dodge Viper. And we just so happen to have found some video of the crash from the inside out.

Good thing that pops has connections with the millions of Hulkamaniacs out there. Surely, one of them owns a body shop.

Links:

[TMZ.com]: Hulk Jr. Lays the Smackdown…On a Wall

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TNA Impact: one match, one belt, one hour



Kurt Angle is still the champ, but just
barely.

If you are anything like us, you’re getting burnt out on all the Chris Benoit talk surrounding murder, suicide, roids, divorce, retardation and so on. So, what better way to break away from the doom and gloom that is currently surrounding the WWE than to throw yourself into the bright and sunny world of TNA.

Hopefully you’re not a big fan of Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt or Eric Young because there was simply no time for fringe losers to grab the spotlight on Thursday night as TNA Impact was dominated by a three man match for the TNA World Heavyweight title between Rhyno, Christian Cage and the champ Kurt Angle. In a 60 minute slug fest that saw plenty of close counts and interference from guys like Abyss, Sting, Samoa Joe, Tomko, AJ Styles, and others, it was Kurt Angle who eventually had his hand raised in victory. Thanks to a little beer in Rhyno’s eyes courtesy of a James Storm sudsy spit spritzer, Angle was able to finally obtain the one, two, three. The win teams up Angle with Joe in the Match of Champions at the Victory Road PPV against whoever ends up being the tag team title holders at the time. That will be determined next week when the current tag champs Team 3-D takes on LAX and the combo of Christopher Daniels and Styles.

While we still think that this Match of Champions is a bit of a looney idea, it could end up causing a pretty big ripple throughout the TNA roster as this match opens up a whole worm can full of possibilities. Who will Joe or Angle pick to become the other half of the tag champs should one of them pick up the pin? Would they be willing to set aside their differences and become a super power by selecting the other and sharing four titles between the two of them? Or will one of the tag champs, whoever that might be, win either the X-Division or World Heavyweight Championships? Can any of the three tag teams in the running for the match survive the jealousy of their partner holding a pair of titles without dividing the duo?

These might seem like petty questions, but isn’t it nice to ponder something besides what a sick bastard Benoit is every once in a while?

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Oh, the hilarity of a high dive gone wrong

If you’ve ever ventured to the local swimming hole during the hot days of summer, there’s a really good chance that you’ve shown off your cannonball skills. You know what? Cannonballs suck! If you really want to give your friends a chuckle and show off your manliness then you gotta have a respectable belly flop in your arsenal. But what’s even better than showing off a highly honed BF is the completely unexpected one. Especially when you get to watch the stinging splashdown in slow motion.

Of course, things could be a heck of a lot worse. At least in America we have water.

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Tatiana Golovin’s underwear makes news at Wimbledon; now that’s a story



Salute your shorts!

If you don’t know who Tatiana Golovin is, you’ll probably remember her red “knickers.” As most tennis chicks do, Golovin wore an itty bitty skirt during her match on Wednesday that showed off her underwear from time to time. Now, you’d never catch us complaining about something like this but apparently not everyone is so pleased and during a during a rain delay someone took a peak under her skirt and determined that by definition the undies were “knickers” and not “cycling shorts” and because they didn’t go below her skirt, they were permitted.

Wimbledon regulations require that “Each individual item of clothing must be almost entirely white.” Needless to say the red under shorts don’t qualify as white, but as long as the panties only appear sporadically it seems that she’ll be allowed to wear them. Yippie!!

They say red is a colour that proves you are strong and confident, so I’m happy with my red knickers.”

“I’ll keep wearing them as long as I keep winning. They are lucky.”

“For these two weeks, it’s going to be red. Then it’s a surprise for after that.

Obviously, we’ve found a new tennis starlet that we’re going to be keeping our eyes on. What can we say, we love surprises.

Links:

[The Sun Online]: Knickers to you lot, says Tatiana

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Here’s another extreme sport for all you adrenaline junkies

So, we’re always looking for ways to the fill the void that encompasses the normal sports fan during the long, hot days of summer. First, we discovered the newest sensation sweeping the nation which is commonly referred to as “backjumping”. Now, we’ve discovered that our regular Saturday night behavior was actually a bona fide sport. Well, it’s considered a sport in England. At least, it’s a start.

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WWE cuts ties with Chris Benoit as the sick truth surfaces


After the sick and twisted details emerged surrounding the Chris Benoit tragedy, it was clear that Vince McMahon was extremely pissed about having wasted a three hour RAW to honor the sick killer. Not to mention the perfect storm of steroid allegations. So, to open ECW, McMahon issued this statement that virtually brushed Benoit off the WWE map:

Last night on ‘Monday Night Raw,’ the WWE presented a special tribute show, recognizing the career of Chris Benoit. However, now some 26 hours later, the facts of this horrific tragedy are now apparent. Therefore, other than my comments, there will be no mention of Mr. Benoit tonight. On the contrary, tonight’s show will be dedicated to everyone who has been affected by this terrible incident. This evening marks the first step of the healing process. Tonight, the WWE performers will do what they do better than anyone else in the world — entertain you.

And with that being said, the WWE was back to business as usual; on screen, that is.

John Cena made a rare ECW appearance as he kicked off the show with a match against the newly crowned champion of the brand, Johnny Nitro. Nitro gave it his all, but he was completely outclassed by Cena and, in his first title defense, the paparazzi’s favorite superstar tapped out to the STFU.

But the fun didn’t stop there for the humiliated young champ as he discovered that the new number one contender for his title will be CM Punk. Punk survived a “two out of three falls” match against Elijah Burke by delivering the GTS in the third and final fall to set up a rematch of Vengeance’s title bout.

And in between those two matches was a ridiculous skit involving Rowdy Roddy Piper and Matt Striker that ended with Striker getting a face full of his own birthday cake. Oh, and to top it off, the Boogie Man showed up and KO’d the birthday boy before doing performing his worm regurgitation tradition. Happy Birthday To Ewwwww!

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Chris Benoit: the ultimate professional


In an unbelievably surreal moment, Vince McMahon stood in the middle of the ring at the beginning of Monday Night RAW and announced that Chris Benoit had died. What was scheduled to be a tribute to the “presumed dead” McMahon instead turned into a numbing tribute to the fallen former champion.

Benoit, 40, was found dead along with his wife and seven-year-old son in their Fayetteville, GA, home on Monday around 2:30 p.m. No details are being released, but the Fayette County sheriff’s office reported that the deaths are being investigated as homicides. However, a detective allegedly told an Atlanta television station that the events are being investigated as a murder-suicide with Benoit murdering his son and wife sometime during the weekend before ending his own life on Monday.

On Sunday, Benoit was scheduled to take on CM Punk for the ECW Championship but was replaced by Johnny Nitro for what Jim Ross called “personal reasons.” Before arriving in the ECW via the draft a few weeks back, Benoit had already carved out his legacy in championship gold as he is one of the few wrestlers to hold titles in the original ECW, WWE, and WCW. But The Rabid Wolverine’s crowning moment came at WrestleMania XX when his crippler crossface forced Triple H to tap out, giving Benoit his first and only World Heavyweight Championship title reign in the WWE.

There was no flair in Benoit’s style; he was a strategic, methodical, no-nonsense, in your face, beat down machine. Benoit was one of the few guys who didn’t need a gimmick; he walked to the ring and his reputation did all the talking that was needed. Whether it was from the fans or the wrestlers, Benoit earned respect from each and every person who saw him perform inside the ring. His passion and intensity were palatable and the WWE and its fans will sorely miss his old school skills in a business obsessed with the next big thing.

Links:

[King5.com]: WWE wrestler Benoit & family found dead in home
[WISTV.com]: Wrestler Chris Benoit, wife and child found dead