Author: Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

Categories
LA Lakers

Luke Walton has lost his damn mind


There was a time when Britney Spears was arguably one of the 5 hottest chicks in the universe. When, if she had posed for playboy, it would have been the best selling issue of any magazine in the history of the world. Remember her in the red catsuit in the Oops I Did It Again video? That was when you would have liked to tag that. That album was released in May of 2000.

Well it’s almost May 2007 and Luke Walton is now getting around to dating Britney Spears? Does he realize that Britney has morphed into a digusting bloated bald mess with mental issues? Because someone should really tell him. The Lakers should immediately get his eyes checked and look into terminating his contract for indecent conduct.

This bit of news completely boggles the mind. You’re a ballplayer for chrissakes. Take a look at Tony Parker or Kobe Bryant. That’s how it’s done, Luke. And it’s not like you’re Sam Cassell, you can do a lot better than this. Hell, doing Sam Cassell might be better than Britney at this point. Throw it down, big man, throw it down.

By the way, do you want to know why we hate Britney so much? It’s because she completely let us down. How do you go from such a hot piece of tail to the chubby chick who works at Cinnabon right before our eyes. Every single cheeto, every milkshake, every white trash moment caught on camera. Just stop eating the damn cheetos! It’s like watching your team blow a 6.5 game lead with 12 to play.

Pics of Britney Spears looking extra super hot after the jump.

Links:
[SportsBy Brooks]: LUKE FEEDING BRITNEY BOUNCE PASS FOURS YEARS LATE?

Continue reading “Luke Walton has lost his damn mind”

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Guess who’s leading the NL West



Those ugly unis are working out

1. The best team you don’t know about: Many could tell you after the first week that the Braves have the best record in the majors (6-1 after a win over the Nats yesterday). But who has the second-best? Believe it or not it’s the Arizona Diamondbacks, who have won six straight games for a 7-2 record. Last night’s victory was an 11-inning contest against the Reds that featured five combined homers by both teams. The D-Backs got a key three-run shot by Chad Tracy in the first inning that answered Adam Dunn’s NL-leading 4th homer for the Reds. The teams traded homers until the 11th inning, when Scott Hariston doubled off David Weathers to provide the game-winning RBI. Arizona leads the division but San Diego and Los Angeles are looking good as well.

2. Welcome to Fenway: In their first home game this season, the Red Sox were completely dominant. They beat the Mariners 14-3, with seven of their runs coming in the first two innings. JD Drew hit his first homer as a member of the Red Sox, and was one of four players to have multiple RBIs in this contest. The most important performance was that of starting pitcher Josh Beckett, who is now 2-0 with a 1.50 ERA after striking out 8 in seven innings. The Sox are now 4-3 and tied with the Yankees and Blue Jays for the division lead.

3. No snow in Milwaukee: After getting snowed out for three straight days at Jacobs Field, the Indians were moved to Milwaukee for their current home series against the Angels. Surprisingly there were 19,000 people in the stands, about as much as the hometown Brewers usually draw. The Indians outlasted the Angels in this one 7-6, after a strong start by CC Sabathia was nearly ruined by the Tribe’s bullpen. The Angels scored a run in the ninth off Joe Borowski but their rally was ended after pinch-runner Erick Aybar was caught stealing. The Indians improved to 3-1, good enough for the division lead.

Player of the Day: Adrian Gonzalez, Padres: 3-5 with 2 homers and 4 RBIs in a loss to the Giants.

Stat of the Day: Alex Rodriguez has homered in 4 consecutive games, giving him 6 on the season. He has double the amount of homeruns of anyone else in the AL.

Quote of the Day: “I hope he arouses the fire that’s dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger.” — Ichiro on tonight’s matchup with Dice-K.

Walk Off: The Cardinals starters look terrible on paper, but they are actually good enough to lead the team to a fourth consecutive division title. St. Louis has won 4 of their last 5 games despite only 21 runs during that stretch. If guys like Braden Looper and Adam Wainwright can continue their early success, this team will be dangerous in the playoffs once again.

Categories
Toronto Blue Jays

The Blue Jays poke fun at the Television Bureau of Canada


What do you do when one of your star players has a commercial pulled from the air by the Television Bureau of Canada. A commercial deemed to be too violent for its portrayal of Frank Thomas in a pillow fight with a young boy? Well, you go ahead and have a Frank Thomas pillow giveaway.

The marketing folks with the Blue Jays took advantage of all the random press and made September 2 Frank Thomas Kids Pillow Night. Brilliant. This certainly beats the Cardinals’ Tony LaRussa Bottle of Whiskey night.

We hope that the pillow doesn’t scare small children like the Ben Wallace throw pillow does.

Links:
[SC]: Frank Thomas can swing a mean pillow

Categories
NFL General

And we thought Chris Leak was dumb


We didn’t think anyone could do worse than Chris Leak this year on his wonderlic test. (You have to be borderline retarded to get an 8 on the Wonderlic.) But somehow, 3 people have managed to… er…. beat him. David Irons (CB, Auburn), Bo Smith (S, Weber State) both scored a 4, and Earl Everett of Flordia scored a 5.

Here’s the rest of the bottom 10:

James Jones, WR, San Jose State: 9
Turk McBride, DT, Tennessee: 9
Julius Wilson, OT, UAB: 9
Brandon Mebane, DT, Cal: 10 (So which Cal student wrote his papers?)
Matt Trannon, WR, Michigan State: 10
Baraka Atkins, DE, Miamia: 11
Alonzo Coleman, RB, Hampton: 11

Ouch. That’s a list you don’t want to be on. The good news is that if you’re on that list, you can’t even read it.

Now, wonderlic scores are no indication of your football performance and ability (see Vince Young) but you have to feel sorry for these “student”-athletes. Can you imagine the negotiations between David Irons or Bo Smith and an agent?


Agent: So, the league is offering you $2M a year for 4 years. You got that? 2 and 4 is the deal. So that means you’ll get $2.4 MILLION if you play the entire 4 years.

Player: 2 point 4? Wooohooo! Someone told me I was only gonna get 4. Now i get a 2 in front of it? You’re the best agent ever.

Agent: Who loves you baby? By the way, I’m gonna take my 3% as we agreed so that means you only are gonna get $2.1M ok?

Player: Where do I sign?

Sad. By the way, we still haven’t been able to track down JaMarcus Russell’s wonderlic score. Something is rotten in Baton Rouge.

Links:
[ESPN Insider]: Raiders, Lions face tough decisions

[Stealing is Good]: sample wonderlic test

Categories
College Football

Those crazy BYU kids and their water balloons



It’s all fun and games until
someone kicks in a door

Two members of the BYU team, Terrance Deshawn Hooks and Vitale Ta’aaga Magauli So’oto, were arrested on suspicion of burglary after they kicked in a couple of doors at an apartment complex while trying to hunt down the throwers of a water balloon that hit one of the player’s girlfriend.

While looking for the tossers, the pair mistakenly kicked in the wrong door. After discovering their mistake, they went into another wrong apartment, but then found the balloon throwers hiding in a closet in a third apartment. The policeman neglected to opine whether the pair of balloon pranksters were cowering like little bitches. The two balloon throwers were arrested on criminal mischief but their names were not released.

Hooks and So’oto were also suspended by the BYU coach for violating team rules. Two football players going after two guys after one of their girlfriends was hit by a water balloon? Coach Mendenhall should count his blessings. This is kids stuff. If this was Florida, there would have been a rifle and weapons charges involved.

Links:
[Salt Lake Tribune]: BYU football players arrested, suspended

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Next thing you know, Budweiser will sponsor the basepads


Budweiser is launching their new Red Sox bottles today for the Boston home opener with the Red Sox logo is prominently displayed on new aluminum bottles of Budweiser and Bud Light. About 75,000 to 100,000 cases of the bottles are expected to be sold.

Anheuser-Busch, the brewer of Bud, is the official beer of Major League Baseball so they get to do almost anything they want even though MLB has strict standards for alcohol advertising. For example, players are not allowed to do sponsorship deals with beer companies. If the players association was smart, they’d look into repealing this rule as Dice-K already has a beer commercial for Asahi and it features the Red Sox logo in the ad.

Sam Kennedy, SVP of Sales and Marketing for the Red Sox, said that the promotion didn’t cross any lines: “What would be unacceptable would be any targeted advertising that is in an environment where there is a larger percentage of kids [than adults].” Sure. The Red Sox can do whatever they want to make money but let’s not pretend that beer advertisement isn’t also targeted towards teenagers. This isn’t nearly as bad as alcohol ads on Nascar vehicles but let’s just own up and call it a cash grab, ok?

Links:
[Boston Herald]: Bud’s latest pitch: Brewed for buffs

Categories
NFL General

Hello… people in TV land… does anyone actually own a Fathead?


You know those photos that people send which are so disturbing that you have to forward it to someone so that they will be disturbed too (e.g. Britney’s cooch, Harry Potter’s unit)? Well consider this the blog entry equivalent for us. It’s not disturbing, just a complete goddamn waste of time.

Fathead issued a press release today that the first overall pick in the draft will make history by becoming the first rookie to get a Fathead without playing a single down. Uhhhh… sure. That’s a great honor. You get to make a commercial where you look like a complete douchebag. (If you haven’t seen a Fathead commercial, you must not have watched any NFL games or highlights last year.) Never mind the millions in guaranteed money, being a Fathead is the height of your career. God we hope the Raiders take a punter with the first pick.

Here’s the question. Does anyone you know actually own a Fathead? We believe this is about the same as the number of people you know who have caught a foul ball at a ballgame. We realize it’s targeted for kids but the damn thing costs over $100! Who the hell is spending this kind of money? That Walter Payton poster we had on the wall only cost 3 chances at the clown water balloon game at the carnival.

But Fathead still is making more products and innundating us with shitty commercials so someone has to be buying these ugly oversized shrinky dinks. Who is it? Who are you? And why… dear god why?

Well, that’s it folks, that’s the end of the rant for today. But before we go, here’s a classic comment from a reader at Fark: “I got Fathead® last night… They always do it better.” Well done.

Links:
[Fark]: NFL’s first overall draft pick will get Fathead®

Categories
Soccer

Beckham gets new tattoo… immediately issues publicity photo


You want to talk about irresponsible journalism? The headline for a Sun UK article on Beckham’s new tattoo is “Bizarre: Beckham Breaks his arm.” Imagine a MLS executive seeing that on a newsreader.

Well, it turns out the headline is their clever way to say that Beckham likes the show Prison Break so much that he decided to get a similar tattoo on his arm. It took six hours but now Becks has a sleeve tattoo that says:


Let them hate as long as they fear.

What’s interesting to us is not that he got a tattoo but that he immediately had a publicity photo taken prominently showing off the tattoo. It’s only been a week. Perhaps this is how it works when you’re a celebrity athlete and the fate of the world rests in your hands. The world must know about Beckham’s new ink. Or perhaps this could just be a way for him to thwart the Beckhams lookalikes in the States.

Links:

[The Sun UK]: Beckham Breaks his arm

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Carl Pavano makes how much per win?


1. Two hits, one win: The Padres offense struggled mightily against the Giants last night, but it didn’t matter. Despite only mustered two hits by San Diego, they won 1-0. Giants starter Matt Cain had six hitless innings, then gave up a sac fly in the seventh, the only run of the game. San Fran’s offense was shut down as well by Chris Young, who had seven scoreless innings and earned a win. The Giants dropped to 1-6, tied for the worst record in the majors.

2. Two years, one win: Carl Pavano’s struggles with injuries have been well-documented during his time with the Yankees. But on Monday he put out his first win since 2005, pitching seven innings and allowing two runs. He was helped out by the Yankees’ dynamic offense. Bobby Abreu drove in four runs and A-Rod hit his league-leading 5th homer of the season as the team lit up Sidney Ponson for an 8-2 win over the Twins. Amazingly, the Yanks have five players in their lineup hitting over .340, including Johnny Damon’s .556. Still, they are only 3-3 on the year.

3. Snow Day: In a maddening episode, especially for fantasy owners like me, the Indians-Mariners game was snowed out for a fourth consecutive day on Monday. For three straight days, a planned doubleheader was called off. In order for this not to happen again, the Indians moved their next home series against the Angels to Milwaukee’s Miller Park. That has a retractable roof, so the series (which starts today) will definitely occur. The games missed will likely be made up with a doubleheader on a mutual off day for both teams.

Player of the Day: Braden Looper, Cardinals: 7 innings, no runs, two hits in a 3-0 win over Pittsburgh.

Stat of the Day: The Giants only have two homeruns this season, less than seven major league players.

Categories
Chicago Bulls

Odds and Ends: Rugy player on the DL after tripping over daughter


This is making an early bid into our upcoming Dumbest Off-Field Injuries feature. An Australian rugby player named David Kidwell tore ligaments in his knee and will be out the rest of the season after tripping over his two-year-old daughter. The injury was caused as he fell akwardly trying to avoid crushing his daughter.

Playing 10 years of first grade and no knee problems and something like this happens at home,” Kidwell told Australian Associated Press on Monday. “That’s definitely my season. I’m pretty shattered.

In other news…

[News.com.au]:Luc Longley: Greatest Australia Hero

[DNA India]: Field Hockey player points gun at doctor in hospital over sick daughter

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Chuck Klosterman stealing paychecks

[Our Book of Scrap]: Finger Jousting is taking your mall by storm

[Sports Law Blog]: Why Does Tanking Occur in the NBA but Seemingly Not in Other Leagues?

And finally, just in time for the return of Entourage, a NSFW pic of Emmanuelle Chriqui.