Categories
New York Mets

Odds and Ends for Mon May 8 2006: Billy Wagner and Kobe need a hug

Just in time for this week’s three game series between the Mets and the Phillies, Billy Wagner told the Philadelphia Inquirer that he was not well liked in the Phillies clubhouse, that they wanted him to fail, and that Pat Burrell called him a rat. Poor Billy Boy. Like the Phillies wanted him to blow a crucial late season game against the Astros.

In other news…

[NBA.com]: Raja Bell’s mom talks trash to Kobe: “Need a hug, Kobe?” Ouch.

[ESPN]: Javon Walker called Favre a two-faced in an interview with Sportscenter. The gods reward him with a $40M contract.

[Balls Deep Sports]: ESPN covering Bonds too much? You don’t say

[Miami Herald]: Ahhh, good ole Miami, where athletes go to get robbed.

Categories
MLB General

Full Count for Mon May 8 2006: Babe hears you knocking



713*

1. Bonds blasts no. 713: Barry Bonds always has a knack for hitting homeruns in dramatic situations. So it wasn’t surprising when he hit his 713th career homerun on Sunday Night Baseball against the Phillies. His round tripper–in the sixth inning off Jon Leiber–traveled an estimated 450 feet to left and nearly went into the upper deck at Citizens Bank Park. This was one of many Bonds shots when you could tell it was gone the moment it left his bat, and it left him only one homerun away from tying Ruth on the all-time list. Of course, Bonds being Bonds, refused to sign the ball for the Air Force serviceman who caught it. Number 714 could come on the Giants’ upcoming homestand, in which they play Houston, Chicago, and Los Angeles over the next week.

2. Just what they needed: The Atlanta Braves have been struggling lately to say the least. After losing divisional series to New York and Philadelphia last week, they fell to nine games off the Mets’ pace coming into Sunday. But in their last game in the series against the Mets, they ran over the first place team like an 18-wheeler crushing a Kia. Mets pitchers Jose Lima and Bartolome Fortunato combined to allow all 13 of the Braves runs in the loss, including Fortunato’s 8 in only 1.1 innings. Every player in the Braves lineup contributed, with Jeff Francoeur and Brian Jordan hitting homers and John Smoltz even knocking in 2 runs. Smoltz pitched well too, striking out 8 in 6 innings. The Braves’ 13-3 domination proved that they could still defeat the Mets (many have been doubting), but they are still 8 games back of their heated rivals. While the Mets play Philadelphia next week, the Braves play the divisional weaklings in Washington and Florida.

3. Back in form: Johan Santana, after struggling through his first three starts, now appears to be in his top form. The ace won for his third start in a row against the Tigers, and even took a no-hitter into the 7th inning. He eventually allowed four hits–and two runs–but Santana proved that he can still be the dominating starter that he was in ’04 and ’05. Mike Maroth, the Tigers’ surprising new ace, was hit with the loss after allowing four runs through five innings. The Twins won the series over the second-place Tigers, but they are still 9 games back from the White Sox for the division lead.

4. THE Yankees win (for the 1,000th time): The Yanks completed a series sweep of the Rangers on Sunday, and gave Joe Torre his 1,000th win as manager of the Bronx Bombers. This places Torre fourth on the list of all-time Yankees managers, and it pushes him closer to 2,000 overall wins as a manger (combined with stints in Atlanta, St. Louis, and the Mets, Torre has 1894 wins). Torre’s team breezed through the Rangers 8-5 behind Hideki Matsui’s fifth homer of the year and Chien-Ming Wang’s excellent pitching. They are tied with the Red Sox for first place at 18-11.

5. Pitching problems: Many pitchers were injured over the weekend. The Mets’ Victor Zambrano is out for the season after tearing a tendon in his elbow. This led to bringing up Jose Lima from minors, who didn’t do too well in his first start. Elsewhere, Cardinals pitcher Sidney Ponson left the game against Florida because of problems in his elbow. The Cards still completed a sweep of the Marlins. Also, Ben Sheets, Milwaukee’s ace, missed his scheduled start against LA because of shoulder stiffness. Man, what is going on with these pitchers?

Categories
All Other Sports

The key to picking up chicks is texting



This is my texting finger

We have no idea who Shane Warne is but apparently, he is the cricket world’s answer to Wilt Chamberlain. His method of seduction? Heavy texting.

Last year, during a split with his wife as a result of a previous affair, he was caught cheating again having sex with a woman on the hood of his BMW. Of course a “friend” of the woman’s found her cell phone and released all the dirty text messages that Warne had sent her. He actually comes off as rather desperate for a professional athlete.

On Sunday, he was at it again. This time, a British tabloid (do they have regular newspapers in Britain?) released more text messages and photos of his three-way with two models, Emma Kearney and Coralie Eichholtz. Coralie was also the model who punched out Cameron Diaz for stepping on her dress. Is there anything this girl won’t do for publicity?


Shane blew our minds. He was so fit. I’d give him top marks for more than satisfying us. He was talking dirty all the time. It was full-on, hardcore and we had a great time. In the trouser department, he was above average.

Dammit, just once we’d like someone to say that about us. How much would that cost?

Links:

[IBNLive]: Caught out! Shane sex romp taped
[News of the world]: Photo Slideshow (NSFW)

[Mirror.co.uk]: SHANE’S AT IT AGAIN

Categories
MLB General

MLB Cost Index for May 8 2006

[We’ve moved the Cost Index to Mondays because what better way is there to start a week at your crappy job but to see how GMs are wasting millions of dollars on your underachieving team. (For most you anyway, both on the job and on the team.)]

This week, the Phillies and the Padres make the biggest leaps after wininng 8 in a row. The costliest club so far? Braves, Angels, Mariners and Yankees. But at least the Yankees are winning their division.

** all $ are in millions.

Rank (Pv) Team 2006 Payroll GP Wins YTD Payroll Cost/Win
1 (1) Marlins $15.0 29 8 $2.68 $0.34
2 (2) Rockies $41.1 32 19 $8.13 $0.43
3 (3) Devil Rays $35.4 32 13 $7.00 $0.54
4 (4) Reds $59.5 32 21 $11.75 $0.56
5 (7) D’backs $59.2 32 18 $11.70 $0.65
6 (6) Indians $56.8 32 17 $11.22 $0.66
7 (5) Brewers $56.8 32 16 $11.22 $0.70
8 (8) A’s $62.3 31 16 $11.93 $0.75
9 (9) Rangers $65.5 32 17 $12.93 $0.76
10 (10) Tigers $82.3 32 20 $16.26 $0.81
11 (12) Blue Jays $71.9 30 16 $13.32 $0.83
12 (21) Padres $69.7 31 16 $13.34 $0.83
13 (11) Cardinals $88.4 32 20 $17.47 $0.87
14 (15) White Sox $102.9 31 22 $19.69 $0.89
15 (16) Pirates $40.2 33 9 $8.20 $0.91
16 (17) Mets $100.9 31 21 $19.31 $0.92
17 (13) Astros $92.6 31 19 $17.71 $0.93
18 (20) Twins $63.8 31 13 $12.21 $0.94
19 (26) Phillies $88.3 31 17 $16.89 $0.99
20 (14) Orioles $72.6 33 14 $14.79 $1.06
21 (22) Nationals $63.3 32 11 $12.50 $1.14
22 (24) Royals $47.3 29 7 $8.47 $1.21
23 (27) Red Sox $120.1 31 19 $22.98 $1.21
24 (18) Giants $90.9 31 14 $17.39 $1.24
25 (19) Cubs $94.8 30 14 $17.56 $1.25
26 (23) Dodgers $99.2 32 15 $19.59 $1.31
27 (29) Braves $92.5 31 13 $17.69 $1.36
28 (25) Mariners $88.3 33 13 $17.99 $1.38
29 (28) Angels $103.6 32 14 $20.47 $1.46
30 (30) Yankees $198.7 29 18 $35.56 $1.98

Categories
All Other Sports

Your surefire triple-word-score Kentucky Derby picks



Bob and John is our Derby pick

OK. So the “theory of scrabbletivity” didn’t work for the Super Bowl. (Or perhaps it would have if not for the Seahawks getting jobbed by Bill Leavy… not that we’re still bitter about that or anything.) We think the TOS has to work for something, so why not the Kentucky Derby? After all, all the experts end up being wrong about 1000% of the time.

Here you go folks. When you win the Superfecta, make sure you send us a tip.

Win: Bob and John (15-1)
Place: Sweetnorthernsaint (8-1)
Show: Steppenwolfer (35-1)
Um.. whatever comes after Show: Brother Derek (9-2)

Here’s the full list:

Horse Odds Scrabble Word score
Bob and John 15-1 25
Sweetnorthernsaint 8-1 24
Steppenwolfer 35-1 23
Brother Derek 9-2 22
Point Determined 15-1 21
Jazil 35-1 21
Keyed Entry 40-1 21
Cause to Believe 50-1 21
Private Vow 50-1 21
Deputy Glitters 100-1 21
Flashy Bull 125-1 21
Sharp Humor 40-1 20
Sinister Minister 18-1 18
Showing Up 30-1 18
Bluegrass Cat 40-1 17
Lawyer Ron 6-1 15
Storm Treasure 60-1 15
Seaside Retreat 200-1 15
A.P. Warrior 18-1 14
Barbaro 7-1 11

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Odds and Ends for Fri May 5 2006: Zach Randolph is a white kid?

Last night, we watched the episode of Scrubs on DVD where Turk is photoshopped onto the cover of his college brochure… twice. Today, there’s a story about how some kid had to stand in for Zach Randolph in the Trailblazers’ team photo because he forgot to show up. Coincidence? Actually, yes. But it’s pretty goddamn funny that the Blazers would even bother having someone stand in, much less someone who is nowhere near the dimensions of Zack Randolph. It’s like using Rosie O’Donnell as a butt double for Keira Knightley. Damn.. now we both have that image in our heads. Sorry.

In other news…

[Kuklas Korner]: Proving once again that hockey players are the toughest athletes on the planet, Dion Phaneuf played with a broken foot. By the way, is it just us or does everyone think Enuff Z’Nuff when they hear Phaneuf’s name?

[SI]: Poor Kirby Puckett. At least they’re not trying to freeze him.

[NY Post]: Come on Cuban, you can’t get into Bugalow 8 with that haircut

[Tampa Bay Online]: Another fine example of the people teaching our kids

[LA Times]: Kobe is a Zen master: “When you go to the bathroom, you can’t stand there and look at what you just dropped. At some point, you have to flush.”

Categories
MLB General

MLB Power Rankings Roundup for 5-5-06

Has a team every gone wire to wire as the best consensus team in baseball? And will the White Sox be able to pull that off and win the World Series? Should be interesting to see if this team hits any rough patches during the season. They have to… right?

Meanwhile, the Tigers and their league leading 3.17 ERA pitching staff are the darlings of this week’s rankings climbing. But don’t tell that to TSN, who already had the Tigers #1 as of last week. The Tigers are doing well, but #1? Is the guy who writes the rankings for TSN related to Jim Leyland?

Here are your power rankings from the major sites this week. **Note that there is no update from USA Today. They must be busy writing the news for 4th graders…

Rank Sportscolumn ESPN FoxSports Sportsline USA Today** TSN.ca
1 White Sox White Sox White Sox White Sox White Sox Tigers
2 Astros Mets Tigers Mets Mets White Sox
3 Mets Yankees Mets Cardinals Astros Mets
4 Cardinals Reds Cardinals Astros Red Sox Reds
5 Red Sox Astros Reds Red Sox Cardinals Cardinals
6 Reds Tigers Astros Yankees Yankees Yankees
7 Yankees Blue Jays Yankees Tigers Indians Brewers
8 Tigers Red Sox Brewers Reds Tigers Astros
9 Rangers Cardinals Red Sox Brewers Blue Jays Rockies
10 Cubs Indians Blue Jays Athletics Angels Rangers
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
NBA General

Bulls and Pacers, you’re next up on the tee



Man amongst boys

Well, the 6 and 7 seeds are out of the Easter Conference playoffs as both the Bulls and Pacers headed off to summer vacation.

First, the Bulls. Despite a couple of nice efforts at home in games 3 and 4, they showed their inexperience and disparity in talent level by getting blown out in the final two games. In a home elimination game, with Dwyane Wade hurting, the Bulls were never even able to make a game of it, getting down by 10 after the first period. Tyson Chandler and Michael Sweetney were completely dominated by Shaq. Talk about a man amongst boys. Despite a first round exit, the Bulls have much to look forward to as they get at least a top 5 pick in the lottery this year thanks to Isiah Thomas’s ten-cent head.

Next up, the Pacers. When Anthony Johnson scores 40 points, you’re in trouble. After stealing game 1 of this series, the Pacers were unable to do anything with the home court advantage because Peja couldn’t play with his knee injury. Would Artest have made a difference in this series? Absolutely. There was a shot of Larry Bird and Donnie Walsh in the stands wondering what the hell they were going to do to improve the team. How do you build around Jermaine O’Neal? Do you keep Peja? Somehow this team went from perennial contenders to an easy out in the playoffs in 2 years. How the hell did this happen? Oh right, the Malice in the Palace.

Links:

[Frank the Tank’s Slant]: Bulls Can’t Take the Heat but Summertime Should be Fun
[Kolsky’s Bulls Blog]: No More Mr. Nice Shaq: Daddy is Back
[20 second timeout]: Anthony Johnson Scores 40, but the Nets Eliminate the Pacers
[Big Willie Style]: Pacers Post-Season Wrap-Up

Categories
Kansas City Royals

Royals loyalty is worth $278.47

It’s sad that 25 years of being a fan to the laughingstock of the league is worth less than an uneaten hotdog from the Seahawks-Panthers championship game. But we guess that’s why Chad Carroll was so willing to part with his KC Royals fandom.

The auction stated:


I am sick and tired of being mathematically eliminated from playoff contention on or about April 7 of each year. So I am selling all rights to my loyalty to this organization. With your purchase you will accept all of the responsibilities of a true Royals fan. You will tell people (in public) that you actually like the Royals. You will tell them that we “won’t be as bad this year as we were last year”.

I will also include a Royals jersey with a 1985 World Series patch. There is no name on the back of the jersey, however. This will save you the money that I have wasted over the years on my Johnny Damon, Jermaine Dye and Carlos Beltran jerseys. I will also include a letter of authenticity from my brother (certified Royals fan and Yankees hater) certifying my “fan status” and a letter of intent from myself to never again watch another Royals game, to remove all Royals memorabilia from my home, and to never divulge to another living soul that I am, or ever was, a KC follower.

You will also have exclusive rights to my new era of pain. You can choose my new team…the only team that is off limits is the New York Yankees.

A bunch of his friends won the auction but still haven’t decided his new team. If it were up to us, we’d pick the Philadelphia Phillies. 1) They’re one of the losingest franchises in the history of sports. 2) They beat the Royals for their last World Series title. That, my friends, is a lesson on how to be cruel.

Links:
[Kansas City Star]: Maryland man auctions off 25 years of loyalty to the Royals
[eBay]: My loyalty to the Kansas City Royals (jersey included)
Thanks to Fark for the story.

Categories
MLB General

Full Count for May 5 2006: Brotherly love for Bonds


1. Welcome to Philadelphia, enjoy the boos: Barry Bonds heads into Philly for a three game stay and if the only thing that hits him in that giant noggin of his is an errant baseball, he’ll be relatively lucky. As Ashley Fox puts it in the Philly Inquirer, “No matter what the Phillies do for security, or how many undercover cops are in the stands, or how many uncomplimentary signs are confiscated, someone is going to do something stupid.” Remember, Philly fans, we want clever, not stupid. Calling Bonds a steroided up freak is obvious. Throwing a syringe onto the field was clever. Now, we expect you to step it up and do something even better. May we suggest a huge paper mache Bonds head with planets revolving around it?

2. Can anybody stop these guys?: With their 4-1 win over the Mariners, the White Sox improved to 20-8 on the year. They became the first AL team to reach the 20-win mark, and look even more unstoppable than they were last year, when they won the World Series. Jose Contreras improved to 5-0 on the year, and dating back to last year he has won 13 in a row. Jim Thome’s 3-run homer provided most of the offense for the White Sox, and was his 11th shot of the year.

3. Big Unit gets ripped and still wins: Randy Johnson has probably had the best luck of any pitcher in the majors this year. Despite an ERA over 5, he is 5-2 on the season. On Thursday, he allowed 5 runs to the Devil Rays, but the Yanks still won the game. The Yankees were powered by homers from Hideki Matsui and Johnny Damon on offense, and the bullpen was almost perfect in the win. New York remained in first place at 15-11, while the Devil Rays are at 11-18.

4. Winning away from home: The Royals, who have the worst record in the majors at 6-20, came into Thursday’s game against the Twins with an 0-13 road record. This tied them with the 1969 Astros and 1988 Orioles for the worst road record ever to start a season. After they edged the Twins 1-0 in Minnesota, the streak is now over. Four Royals pitchers combined to allow only 5 hits in the game, and Paul Bako hit an RBI single to provide the only score of the night.

5. Not used to being here: The Braves, after 14 straight division titles, are accustomed to being in first place in the NL East. After they lost to the Phillies last night 6-3, they dropped to third place, ahead of only the pitiful Marlins and Nationals. The Phillies completed a sweep of the Braves and won their 5th straight game. At 14-14, they only trail the Mets in the division. Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins had homers for the Phillies on the night.