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Kansas City Royals

Royals loyalty is worth $278.47

It’s sad that 25 years of being a fan to the laughingstock of the league is worth less than an uneaten hotdog from the Seahawks-Panthers championship game. But we guess that’s why Chad Carroll was so willing to part with his KC Royals fandom.

The auction stated:


I am sick and tired of being mathematically eliminated from playoff contention on or about April 7 of each year. So I am selling all rights to my loyalty to this organization. With your purchase you will accept all of the responsibilities of a true Royals fan. You will tell people (in public) that you actually like the Royals. You will tell them that we “won’t be as bad this year as we were last year”.

I will also include a Royals jersey with a 1985 World Series patch. There is no name on the back of the jersey, however. This will save you the money that I have wasted over the years on my Johnny Damon, Jermaine Dye and Carlos Beltran jerseys. I will also include a letter of authenticity from my brother (certified Royals fan and Yankees hater) certifying my “fan status” and a letter of intent from myself to never again watch another Royals game, to remove all Royals memorabilia from my home, and to never divulge to another living soul that I am, or ever was, a KC follower.

You will also have exclusive rights to my new era of pain. You can choose my new team…the only team that is off limits is the New York Yankees.

A bunch of his friends won the auction but still haven’t decided his new team. If it were up to us, we’d pick the Philadelphia Phillies. 1) They’re one of the losingest franchises in the history of sports. 2) They beat the Royals for their last World Series title. That, my friends, is a lesson on how to be cruel.

Links:
[Kansas City Star]: Maryland man auctions off 25 years of loyalty to the Royals
[eBay]: My loyalty to the Kansas City Royals (jersey included)
Thanks to Fark for the story.

By Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

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