Author: clay

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All Other Sports

Can the UFC finally KO boxing for good?


ESPN rode the Oscar De la Hoya/Floyd Mayweather fight for as long as they could and now that the “fight of the century” has turned out to be the biggest waste of $55 since the last “fight of the century” it looks like the mother ship is ready to give the UFC some love. You know, the same Ultimate Fighting Championship that has been criticized by the world of “legitimate” sports news for years now. Well, ESPN doesn’t care about having a consistent approach to their professional beliefs; no, they are concerned with getting ratings and selling magazines. And that’s why the Iceman Chuck Liddell will be on the cover of the May 21st issue of ESPN The Magazine.

Could this be the push that the UFC needs to become a regular fixture on Sports Center? Will we soon be hearing Stuart Scott and Scott Van Pelt trying in vain to be funny as clips of Tito Ortiz and Matt Hughes performing some ground and pound techniques roll during the voice over? Only time will tell, but one thing we do know is that professional boxing is losing steam with every 12 round, snooze fest, split decision that comes down the road. So, it’s no coincidence that ESPN has jumped onto the UFC bandwagon just as one of the most anticipated fights in recent history comes rolling around.

UFC went out of their way to lure one of Pride’s best fighters over to the U.S. and on May 26 at UFC 71, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson will take on the light heavyweight champion, and current ESPN cover boy, Liddell.

We happen to be huge fans of the whole mixed martial arts scene here at Sportscolumn and, frankly, we don’t understand why it hasn’t moved past being considered a fringe sport long ago. So it’s no surprise to us that the UFC is on the verge of blowing up to mainstream proportions, and UFC President Dana White knows that his company can provide something that no boxing promotion has been able to do for quite some time, and that is have a fight that lives up to the hype.

Saturday night is what pisses everyone off,” said White. “It’s crazy. It just drives people further from boxing. You get one fight for 55 bucks. One fight for a $2,500 ticket. You get people all excited for the buildup and then the fight ends up sucking. Both guys try to outpoint the other and win a decision.”

“In the UFC, we give you eight or nine fights, they’re all good, and the guys are fighting their asses off trying to finish it. There’s tons of energy.

Links:

[BostonHerald.com]: Liddell, White have it covered

Categories
Baltimore Orioles

Rick Dempsey strikes out in his first at-bat of the season

Rick Dempsey knows how to be a professional ball player and he also knows the ins and outs of being a studio host on Mid-Atlantic Sports Network, but he still has a lot to learn about being a broadcaster inside the booth. Seems like Rick is having a bit of trouble with the whole improv and spur of the moment conversation that is essential to a live game.

In his first game of the season as a commentator on Saturday, Dempsey made a complete jackass out of himself when Laura Giuliani, the wife of O’s left fielder Jay Gibbons, was in the booth to promote an upcoming fundraiser intended to raise awareness about domestic violence. So, what’s one of the first things to come out of Dempsey’s mouth but, of course, a completely retarded joke about Giuliani strangling her husband. Everything is going pretty smoothly until about the 2:45 mark of the video:

Dempsey came out and apologized for his comment but there’s no rewind button in life, so, unfortunately, people are going to remember his little slip of the tongue mind. Things sure are a lot easier in the safe confines of the studio where all the words just magically appear on the screen in front of you, aren’t they Rick?

Links:

[BaltimoreSun.com]: Dempsey’s remarks no laughing matter

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All Other Sports

This just in…badminton sucks harder than you thought

If you like the big mouthed portions and greasy trash talk that gets served on the side of every professional sport in the United States, then badminton is probably not going to be your cup of tea. There are no Chad Johnsons, Floyd Mayweathers or Gary Paytons floating around the pro badminton circuits. These guys pride themselves on their polite etiquette and gentle(wo)manly gestures.

I’m a huge hockey fan,” Santa Teresa badminton coach Mike Do said, “and if there’s a penalty, I’ll still boo. But in badminton, we don’t boo. We only cheer for good shots. Nobody yells `Miss!’ We teach them to be respectful of the game and their opponents.

Where’s the fun in that? Sportsmanship, we don’t need no stinking sportsmanship. In badminton, players are expected to honestly call their own faults and line decisions. Can you imagine a bunch of NBAers or NFLers calling their own fouls? Hell, you can’t even get a couple kids playing a pick-up game on the street to call their own fouls honestly.

They also gotta go shake hands with their opponent after the game which is a pretty customary practice for most sports but what we are really upset about is that players aren’t allowed to give the birdie a nice, hardcore, overhead smash when it gets popped up at the net. And some actually wonder why it gets labeled as a “sissy” sport. Badminton isn’t anything like the commercials make it out to be!

Links:

[MercuryNews.com]: No booing in badminton

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All Other Sports

The NXBL is here but don’t worry, it’ll be gone soon

A while back we told you about the National Xtreme Baseball League and now we’ve finally got the video proof that we weren’t just making stuff up after “Dollar Beer Night” at Mooseknuckles. So, here’s a little recap of the history and rules of the game with some sweet commentary to go along with the eternally classic Kiss hit Rock & Roll All Night in the background.

Does this guy know that he is talking about “extreme baseball?” Because by the tone of his voice it sounds like he’s reading the phone book or perhaps doing his best Ben Stein impersonation. C’mon man, give us something to get excited about; the game certainly isn’t going to do that by itself. Geez, we’ve heard more passion during an episode of Great American Gardens, um, not that we watch that or anything. But our favorite part is when this bore spouts out his lines in a monotone fashion at the 1:28 mark:

It would take a tremendous amount of focus on the player, the umpires and the fans part to take in the game of extreme baseball. Wow, this is extreme.

Links:

[Deuce of Davenport]: National Xtreme Baseball…ye Gods…

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: A pair of easy wins for the home teams



Suddenly Nelly’s Band-Aid is looking a lot
cooler.

1. Happy 56th birthday Coach D’Antoni, we’re got you a win!
The Suns did a much better job of getting into the paint against the Spurs in Game 2 and as a result Phoenix evened the series at a game a piece with a 101-81 victory. Steve Nash hooked up with Amare Stoudemire a whole bunch of times during the game but it was their second quarter contributions that helped Phoenix put together a 30-17 effort that opened up a solid halftime lead. The Spurs had won five consecutive playoff games in the Suns’ gym but nobody can put the blame on Tim Duncan who had a stellar game for SA. However, their will be lots of fingers pointing at the other Spurs’ stars. Tony Parker was just 5-of-14 from the field and Manu Ginobili went 3-for-9 for just six points. But the Suns still have to win a game in San Antonio in order to advance and that’s just where this series is heading next, Saturday to be exact. However, if Stoudemire gets another 27 points while Nash is dishing out 16 assists and scoring 20 then Phoenix could very easily leave from deep in the heart of Texas with 3-1 strangle hold on the series.

2. The Cavs and the have nots

LeBron James had a head cold before Game 1 and he managed to hit the game winner. In Game 2 he was feeling even better and it showed as the Cavaliers took a 2-0 lead in the series with a 102-92 victory. King James put up 25 points in the second half to finish with 36 and 12 assists as he is now poised in prime position to take his team to the Eastern Conference finals for the first time in a long time. For the second game in a row, Cleveland has obliterated New Jersey on the glass as the Nets got outrebounded by 17 (49-32) but James had virtually nothing to do with that stat as he only pulled down ONE board. What’s worse is that Jersey could only muster up three offensive rebounds compared to the 19 that Cleveland pulled down. Wait; you don’t thing those extra 16 offensive possessions might have had something to do with the Cavs 10 point win, do ya? Guess Lawrence Frank never got to the chapter about boxing out in the NBA 101 textbook.

3. The Captain and the King
In more Lebron James news…with his 36 point outing last night, LBJ scored at least 20 points in each of his 19th consecutive playoff games. That puts the King just eight games behind Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (27) for the record for 20+ point games to start a playoff career. It looks like the Cavs will advance past the Nets which will give him an opportunity to break the record in a long series against the Pistons most likely. The Detroit defense will probably focus in on James during the series, but holding LeBron under 20 points is like trying to keep Charles Barkley down to just two dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts during TNT’s double-header action. Either way you look at it, 19 just ain’t gonna be enough for these guys.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Tim Duncan @ Phoenix 35 min, 29 pts (FG: 12-20, FT: 5-7), 11 reb, 1 ast, 2 blk

Buzzer Beater: The NBA All-Rookie Team was released on Tuesday and, yawn, oh who cares? Wake us up when any of these guys actually become ballers. We’re sure that some of these guys will eventually pan out, Brandon Roy appears to have the most potential, but this has got to be one of the most boring draft classes in the history of the league. It’s pretty bad when you rookie class highlights are, uh, highlighted by Jorge Garbajosa’s broken leg and Tyrus Thomas’ stupid comments before All-Star weekend. We can almost guarantee that Kevin Durant and Greg Oden will provide more memorable moments as rooks next year than this entire sorry class did this year. Never thought we’d say this, but Joakim Noah could have really improved last year’s draft!

Categories
Soccer

Finally, someone understands how we feel about soccer


There are enough great sports here in North America that we at Sportscolumn don’t usually look across the pond for colorful commentary on athletics. But there are some quotes that just can’t be denied. Like Jorge Valdano’s remark about the poor play of Champions League participants Chelsea and Liverpool.

Put a s*** hanging from a stick in the middle of this passionate, crazy stadium and there are people who will tell you it’s a work of art.”

“It’s not — it’s a s*** hanging from a stick.

For a minute there we thought that Valdano was talking about the Green Bay Packers. But regardless of what sport it was about, that was one of the greatest quotes in the history of athletic competition. Rank it right up there with:

What’s that? Playoffs? Don’t talk about– playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game!

and

I mean listen, we’re sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we’re talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it’s my last but we’re talking about practice man. How silly is that?

Links:

[The Sun]: S*** hanging from a stick

Categories
Milwaukee Brewers

Brewers’ latest promotion goes ass up


If you thought that Reese’s did a good job of combining two of your favorite treats into one tasty experience, just wait until you get a load of the Milwaukee Brewers’ latest promotion.

Fans at today’s game will have the opportunity to get free tickets to an upcoming game and all they have to do to get them is participate in a free prostate exam. Yup, just let the good folks at the National Prostate Cancer Coalition feel inside your anus and you could get a pair of crappy (no pun intended) tickets to a Brewers game. Now, we know the Brew Crew is playing some pretty good ball right now but we’d rather throw down the $20-$30 bucks for our seats, thank you very much. Oh, and only the first 50 brave souls to get in line will get the tickets. Hopefully the 51st guy found that out before taking a finger to ass for nothing.

This is probably all very professional, well as professional as you can be in the rectal exam-mobile, but can you imagine walking out of that RV and having all your fellow fans pointing and laughing at you from the ticket line as you gingerly make your way over to the gates. Talk about the walk of shame. And anyways, how are you supposed to sit in a hard, plastic seat for three hours after that? But if you slap the magic word “free” in front of anything there will always be some cheap bastards lining up around the block. Some people will do anything for a little extra beer money.

Links:

[Bugs and Cranks]: Brewers Kicking, Inspecting Ass
[Froedtert.com]: Free Prostate Cancer Screenings at Miller Park
[OnMilwaukee.com]: Free Prostate Cancer Screening

Categories
NBA General

David Stern squashes postseason re-seeding talk



Who could possibly have a problem
with this series?

We’ve only seen one game of the series between Phoenix and San Antonio, but it already has the feel of a classic, knockdown, drag out kind of a battle. So, why are there so many people complaining then? Well, many feel that the NBA’s seeding system is all screwy and, therefore, this game is happening way too early. Considering that these are the two best teams remaining in the Western Conference, it could be argued that they should be hooking up in the West finals and not the semis. But at this point, complaining about the need for a re-seeding system after the first round is like complaining about the need for a playoff in college football; it’s just a waste of breath. NBA Commissioner David Stern came out and said so.

Given the fact that we have contracts with ESPN, ABC and TNT, it’s almost impossible to do and meet those obligations. It’s something we won’t consider.

And they shouldn’t either. These match-ups between great teams are going to happen more frequently because there are more great teams in the league now; especially out west. Hell, Houston vs. Utah was relegated to the first round for crying out loud. When there are five elite teams in a pool of eight playoff teams then you are simply going to have high seeds running into each other early.

And what’s so bad about that? Last year we saw one of the best series in the entire postseason in the second round when San Antonio and Dallas went seven games in a nail biter. And why should Golden State be penalized with a tougher schedule by being forced to play Phoenix in the second round because they pulled off an unbelievable upset? That’s the beauty of the playoffs, you simply play who gets put in front of you and if you win you go on. If the league starts trying to delay the big games until the conference finals then there is a good chance we won’t even get to see `em. Just ask Dallas how easy it is to get knocked off by a lower seed.

Links:

[USA Today]: Stern: TV prevents re-seeding in playoffs

Categories
St. Louis Cardinals

Albert Pujols scares the crap out of a ball boy

So, what do you do when Albert Pujols hits a laser shot right at you? Well, if you the ball boy for the St. Louis Cardinals you take a dive into the first row of the stands. Can’t blame the guy for not wanting to get blasted by the ball but he is the ball boy, right? Last time we checked it was his job to catch those things. But, hey, we’re not complaining; it gave us a great clip to chuckle about for hours.

Links:

[STLSportsMag.com]: Sometimes you just gotta bail…

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: The great postseason series just keep coming


1. Late night fun in Utah
Well, the excitement has worn off and the Golden State Warriors are now in an unfamiliar position in the postseason; they are losing. Utah got huge nights from almost all of their starters as they squeaked out a late victory in Salt Lake City, 116-111. But the Warriors had a pretty good game from their starting five as well; in fact, four of the five scored at least 20 points in the loss. That’s the first time that has happened in a non-overtime playoff game since the Pacers fell to Celtics, 124-121, back in 1991. Oddly enough, the last time it happened prior to that was in the same series when the Boston lost to Indiana despite four guys racking up 20 or more.

2. Will the real Chicago Bulls please stand up?

It was another game and another spanking on Monday when Detroit handled their business against Chicago with virtually no interruption from the Bulls by beating them, 108-87. The Bulls which looked so ferocious in the first round against Miami are now resorting back to their old baby Bulls tactics of simply running and hiding when the bigger kids come on the court. But what do you expect when their coach is coming out to the public and saying that his team has no chance against the veteran Piston squad. Looks like the ol’ Don Nelson reverse psychology backfired on Scott Skiles.

3. Tweakin’ time
So, what happens when you are the best team in the league with the league’s best player and you immediately get humiliated out of the playoffs? Well, you get desperate and that might be exactly what is happening to the Mavericks after the Warriors sent them on an early vacation. Now there are rumors that Dallas could be looking to go after that interior stopper that could have filled up the lane against guys like Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson. And who’s the biggest guy in the league? Why the disappointed Shaquille O’Neal of course. So, what are the actually odds that Shaq jumps from Miami to Dallas at the age of 36? Probably not too good, but when Mark Cuban’s endless mountains of cash are involved almost anything is possible and desperate times often require desperate measures so don’t be surprised if Dallas starts courting the Diesel.

Monday’s Player of the Day: Carlos Boozer vs. Golden State 42 min, 17 pts (FG: 6-15, FT: 5-8), 20 reb, 3 ast, 3 stl

Buzzer Beater: Apparently the Madden curse has the reverse affect with the NBA Live series of video games. Normally great players appear on the cover of the latest Madden game and then promptly have their careers ended the next season on the field. Well, in the NBA if you get seriously injured during the season you are then placed on the cover of the game. At least, that’s what happened with Gilbert Arenas after he tore a meniscus earlier in the season. LeBron James was reported to be second in the voting. Hopefully for Arenas he’ll be back to carry the name of the game like several of his coworkers have. Tracy McGrady, Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony Kevin Garnett and Tim Duncan have all made the cover in the past and they have all had pretty stellar careers. Sorry Madden, no curse here.