Author: clay

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All Other Sports

TNA Impact: one match, one belt, one hour



Kurt Angle is still the champ, but just
barely.

If you are anything like us, you’re getting burnt out on all the Chris Benoit talk surrounding murder, suicide, roids, divorce, retardation and so on. So, what better way to break away from the doom and gloom that is currently surrounding the WWE than to throw yourself into the bright and sunny world of TNA.

Hopefully you’re not a big fan of Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt or Eric Young because there was simply no time for fringe losers to grab the spotlight on Thursday night as TNA Impact was dominated by a three man match for the TNA World Heavyweight title between Rhyno, Christian Cage and the champ Kurt Angle. In a 60 minute slug fest that saw plenty of close counts and interference from guys like Abyss, Sting, Samoa Joe, Tomko, AJ Styles, and others, it was Kurt Angle who eventually had his hand raised in victory. Thanks to a little beer in Rhyno’s eyes courtesy of a James Storm sudsy spit spritzer, Angle was able to finally obtain the one, two, three. The win teams up Angle with Joe in the Match of Champions at the Victory Road PPV against whoever ends up being the tag team title holders at the time. That will be determined next week when the current tag champs Team 3-D takes on LAX and the combo of Christopher Daniels and Styles.

While we still think that this Match of Champions is a bit of a looney idea, it could end up causing a pretty big ripple throughout the TNA roster as this match opens up a whole worm can full of possibilities. Who will Joe or Angle pick to become the other half of the tag champs should one of them pick up the pin? Would they be willing to set aside their differences and become a super power by selecting the other and sharing four titles between the two of them? Or will one of the tag champs, whoever that might be, win either the X-Division or World Heavyweight Championships? Can any of the three tag teams in the running for the match survive the jealousy of their partner holding a pair of titles without dividing the duo?

These might seem like petty questions, but isn’t it nice to ponder something besides what a sick bastard Benoit is every once in a while?

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General Sports

A quick break from the world of sports

All right everyone, this has absolutely nothing to do sports, but we were cracking up so hard when we came across this clip on Can’t Stop The Bleeding that we just had to share it with all of you. So, sit back, kick your feet up and enjoy this musical tribute to all those cartoon hotties you grew up watching. We give to you: C.I.L.F.!

This guy is never going to win a Grammy with this kind of stuff, but if he can continue at this pace, he just might make to Weird Al Yankovic-type status one day.

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Chicago Cubs

Another horrible rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"

George Thorogood just gave “Bad to the Bone” a whole new meaning when he took Cubbies fans out to “the old ba-ba-ba-ba-ball game.”

Okay, so Thorogood wasn’t completely horrid; it could have been a whole lot worse. He could have gone Eddie Vedder on us.

“Buy me some peanuts and crack”??????

Links:
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: (Very) Bad To The Bone: Thorogood’s Disloyalty To The Wilmington Blue Rocks

Categories
Dallas Mavericks

Mark Cuban proves he’s a moron…again


We all knew that Mark Cuban was a big brat from the first day he bought the Mavericks. We learned that he was a big baby when he started all his courtside shenanigans shortly after. We found out that he had a huge man crush on his German superstar when Dirk Nowitzki won the MVP award. Now, we know that he’s a sore loser and poor sport as well.

Cuban is suing Golden State Warriors coach Don Nelson because he is claiming that Nellie had “confidential information and he (Cuban) wants to enjoin Don from coaching the Mavericks” when his No. 8 eight seed club knocked off the top team in the league during the first round of this year’s playoffs. This is according to John O’Connor who is Nelson’s attorney.

Apparently, Cuban has verified that he has filed “claims” against the former Mavs coach, but he also admitted that he is “not sure how we are handling them” and then offered the classic “no comment” line when asked in person about the matter.

There is no basis in our view,” O’Connor said. “I suppose he [Nelson] knows [Dirk] Nowitzki likes to go right instead of left, but normally that’s not a trade secret.

Basically, Cubes is saying that it’s just not fair for departed coaches to play against their former teams. Guess the Lakers can’t play the Bulls while Phil Jackson is still in La-La Land. And we might as well put aside any scheduled games between Rick Adelman’s Rockets and the Kings or Blazers. But what if Larry Brown ever decides to return to NBA? His new club will have to shorten their season by about 60 games to avoid matching up with all of his old teams!

We know that this is a little different because of the short time span between Nelson’s two tenures, but Cuban’s coach, Avery Johnson, spent a lot of years learning the tricks of the trade from the Spurs Gregg Popovich before heading to Big D. Does this mean that San Antonio can sue the Little General for knocking the Spurs out of the 2006 playoffs in a Game 7 thriller?

This B.S. move by Cuban is simply an attempt to continue to his “thorn in the side” mentality against Nelson. The two have had contractual arguments since Nellie split town a few years back and Dallas’ first round fiasco did little to help mend their tattered relationship. We know that Cuban is an incredible businessman, but this is basically the equivalent of an old lady suing McDonald’s because her coffee was hot. Hopefully, this case won’t have the same bogus results.

Links:

[Star-Telegram.com]: Is Mavs owner now crying foul?

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: A night of nice round numbers


1. Milestone Number 1: After the 2004 and 2005 seasons, in which he only played 108 combined games, it seemed like Frank Thomas would never stay healthy enough to reach 500 homers. But after a 39 homer season last year, and 13 more blasts this season, Thomas has joined the legendary 500 homer club. He is its 21st member, though he will be joined soon by Alex Rodriguez, who needs eight more. Jim Thome, Manny Ramirez, and Gary Sheffield are not far off as well. Many people think the 500 homer mark is diminished because of the large amount of members joining in recent years and steroid suspicions of these players. However, Thomas is one of those players that has always seemed clean, and the large majority of his homers were hit before the steroid era. This achievement just puts Thomas over the edge when it comes to making the Hall of Fame. Now, he’s likely a first-ballot type candidate. Oh by the way, Thomas’ Blue Jays lost to the Twins, 8-5.

2. Milestone Number 2: Amazingly, only hours after Thomas’ 500th homer, Craig Biggio reached the 3000-hit mark. He is the 27th player to reach that mark, though it is arguably more special than 500 homeruns the longevity and consistency it takes to reach. Biggio’s hit was his third of five hits on Wednesday in Houston’s extra-inning win over Colorado. It’s unfortunate that Biggio’s biggest career achievement comes in what is likely his worst season. Even after going 5-6, he still is hitting just .250 on the year with an awful .293 on-base percentage. This is Biggio’s 20th season, and it will probably become his 19th straight with more than 100 hits. He has also had all 3,002 of his hits with the Astros, making him the ninth player in history with 3,000 hits with one team. Whether he makes the Hall of Fame or not, Biggio’s career has been quite distinguished, especially for a second baseman.

3. Rogers Rules: A loaded team like Detroit doesn’t need any extra help, but that’s exactly what they’ve received thanks to the return of Kenny Rogers. After six shutout innings against the Braves in his season debut, Rogers improved to 2-0 with one run allowed in six more innings against the Rangers. The run allowed did bring an end to his under-publicized scoreless innings streak, however. Last year Rogers didn’t allow a run in 23 postseason innings, and he started this year with 11 straight shutout innings. With a 5-2 victory, the Tigers managed to avoid a sweep at the hands of the last-place Rangers. Gary Sheffield hit his 18th homer of the year as well for Detroit.

Player of the Day: Chase Utley, Phillies: 3-5, 2 HRs (15), 4 RBIs in an 8-7 win over the Reds.

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All Other Sports

Oh, the hilarity of a high dive gone wrong

If you’ve ever ventured to the local swimming hole during the hot days of summer, there’s a really good chance that you’ve shown off your cannonball skills. You know what? Cannonballs suck! If you really want to give your friends a chuckle and show off your manliness then you gotta have a respectable belly flop in your arsenal. But what’s even better than showing off a highly honed BF is the completely unexpected one. Especially when you get to watch the stinging splashdown in slow motion.

Of course, things could be a heck of a lot worse. At least in America we have water.

Categories
NBA General

2007 NBA Draft: The Northwest Division gets a serious facelift



The future is now for the NBA’s stars of tomorrow.

Wow! It’s been a long time since the NBA has seen that much action in one night; we’re talking about Wilt Chamberlain on a Saturday night type of action here. The night got kicked off when David Stern spoke those magical words that every kid grows up dreaming about:

With the first pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, the Portland Trailblazers select Greg Oden from Ohio State University.

Okay, so scratch the Portland Trailblazers part out because no kid is ever going to dream about going there, but other than that it’s a shooting star’s wish come true. That, of course, was followed by the easiest pick in the history of draft picks as Seattle scooped up the scraps left by Portland and selected Kevin Durant with the second overall pick. And by scraps, we mean the most polished freshman ever! But that was all pretty common sense stuff for the most part after rumors starting spreading on Thursday that the Blazers were committed to Oden. The real fun started after the no-brainers were off the board.

Seattle continued to change the Sonics guard and promptly shipped off Ray Allen and the rights to Big Baby Glen Davis to Boston for the fifth pick which turned out to be Jeff Green, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak. We’re guessing that Paul Pierce would rather have Kevin Garnett on his team, but Allen will make a nice compliment to Pierce. And in the East, there’s no telling who’s going to be making the postseason anymore.

Then there’s the evolving Portland squad that kicked the troublesome Zach Randolph out the door as soon as Oden’s name was read. And of course, Isiah Thomas was the sucker that took on the talented but troubled semi star. But we have to commend Zeke for finally getting rid of Steve Francis who has been nothing but a pain for the team since arriving. The Blazers also sent Dan Dickau and Fred Jones in the deal and New York shipped Channing Frye along with Francis. Now, Portland has a fierce front court with Oden joining a hopefully healthy LaMarcus Aldridge.

Then there are the Bobcats who are desperate to get their hands on an All-Star caliber player and ended up trading off their eighth pick in Brandan Wright for Jason Richardson. Charlotte also picked up Golden State’s second-round pick Jermareo Davidson. Warriors fans are probably pissed that they got rid of a huge part of their recent only playoff success, but it was a great move financially as Richardson is owed $51 million over the last four seasons on his contract.

But even after all that; the real thing that we’re going to remember this draft for is the gosh awful outfit that Joakim Noah wore to the big show. We’re sure Chicago must be so proud.

The rest of the results from the 2007 NBA Draft, broken down by team, can be found after the jump.

Continue reading “2007 NBA Draft: The Northwest Division gets a serious facelift”

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NBA General

Kevin Durant was born with 11 toes?!?! No wonder Portland might pass.


So, apparently there is a “FakeDurant” out there somewhere who is posting on Yardbarker as if he was the real Kevin Durant. Why is this news? Well, it looks like the NBA bound Durant’s peeps are requesting that the post be removed because FakeDurant is saying some pretty odd things and they don’t want their meal ticket getting a bad rap. The idea is good, but who the hell is going to believe that stuff like this would be written by the sickest freshman of all time (oh, not to mention it’s posted by FakeDurant!!!):

I met with the fine folks of the Seattle Sonics this week. They asked me what number I wanted to be and I said “69!” I mean DUH LOL.

I HAD A SIXTH TOE ON MY RIGHT FOOT WHEN I WAS BORN AND THE DOCTOR CUT IT OFF!

People are always interviewing me and they all want to know whether or not I think Joakim Noah is ugly. I DO! Sorry bro BUT YOUS HIDEOUS lol!!! But I think everyone agrees with me when I say I’d love to team up with the MilfHunter and hunt down his mom! I mean OMG good thing I’m wearing compression shorts right now!

I took a poop today and the inside of the toilet looked like a smiley face…does that mean i might be gay? FREE BRITNEY (aka MILF)!!!

Well, now that we think about it, that does totally sound like something Durant would say. It might happen. Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of our butts.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Fake Durant Causes Yardbarker To Get Contacted By Real Durant’s People

Categories
LA Lakers

The Kobe Bryant video is out and we feel cheated

It’s hard to believe any of the reports that you hear about Kobe Bryant anymore. One minute he wants this, the next minute he wants that; but the one thing we do know is that Bryant has a dirty potty mouth.

We know that L.A. is still trying to keep their cornerstone, but now that the Kevin Garnett trade has fallen through and the Lakers have reportedly turned their attention toward an injury prone Jermaine O’Neal, there’s only one way to make Bryant a winner again: “Ship his ass out!”

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: The Full “Kobe Rips The Lakers” video

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Kansas City Royals

The Full Count: Bring out the brooms


1. Surprising Sweeps: Multiple teams completed unexpected sweeps on Wednesday. The most shocking was the Royals’ sweep over the Angels, who have the most wins in the majors. KC beat them with pitching, allowing just 7 runs the entire series and none yesterday. Jorge De La Rosa, who came into the game with six straight losses, outdeuled the Angels’ Jered Weaver for a 1-0 win. The majors’ second-best team was swept too as the Mariners dominated the Red Sox. Their 2-1, 11-inning win yesterday was capped off by Jose Lopez’s game-winning RBI double. One of Dice-K’s best starts of the year, an eight-inning, three-hit gem, was blown by the bullpen. The Braves busted out of a slump to crush the awful Nationals for three much-needed victories. They annihilated them on Wednesday 13-0, bringing them to a tie with the Phillies in the process.

2. No Support for the Rocket: Roger Clemens isn’t pitching very well, with a 5.32 ERA through four starts. However, the Yankees’ offense isn’t helping him out much. In his last three starts, all losses, Clemens has received three runs of support from the offense. On Wednesday, Clemens allowed 4 runs in 6 innings, but the Yankees were shut out by the Orioles. Erik Bedard was fantastic, with 7 innings, 2 hits, and 8 strikeouts in the win. With another loss, Clemens was denied his 350th win yet again. The Yanks have now dropped four games in a row.

3. Older is Better: A record-tying six 40-year-old pitchers took the mound on Wednesday. Clemens, Smoltz, Glavine, Maddux, Woody Williams, and Jamie Moyer all took the mound. They went a combined 3-1, with Smoltz, Maddux, and Glavine picking up the victories. For Glavine it was his 297th career win. Maddux pitched seven strong innings to gain career win number 340. Most of these pitchers are having excellent seasons, and perhaps there have never been as many excellent 40-year-old pitchers as there are this year. Kenny Rogers was scheduled to start as well, but the Tigers game was rained out.

Player of the Day: Jack Cust: 2-5, HR (13), 5 RBIs as the A’s beat the Indians 13-7.