Okay, the lawsuits in this country have gotten completely out of control! If you’ve got a dollar to your name nowadays it’s certain that some penniless, pathetic bastard is going to find a douche bag lawyer and slap you with some frivolous charges. Maybe you’ll get accused of spitting on someone or maybe you’ll get accused of ruining someone’s life. Or if you’re a dog murdering NFL quarterback then you’ll get accused of stealing pit bulls and selling them on eBay in order to purchase missiles from the Iran government!
Sure, it sounds farfetched but it’s true. But the grounds for the lawsuit aren’t even the best part; the man filing the suit, Jonathan Lee Riches, is an inmate at the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina and he’s asking for $63,000,000,000 in damages!!!!!! Nope, that’s not a misprint, that’s $63 billion with a capital “B”.
According to the suit, Vick allegedly stole a pair of pit bulls from Riches’ Holiday, Fla., home and then used the dogs to fight at his notorious house in Virginia. Vick supposedly then took the pooches and instead of electrocuting or putting a bullet through their heads, like he normally does, decided to sell them on eBay for missile money. It might sound strange at first, but it all makes sense once Riches explains that Vick needs the missiles because he became a member of Al Qaeda this past February.
We agree that Vick is a sicko, but a member of Al Qaeda might be pushing it a bit. It sounds to us like someone hasn’t been taking their medications.
Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.
Further claims against Vick include stealing Riches’ identity to open credit card accounts at Pets Mart and Doggie Warehouse in order to buy dog food, and violating copyright laws by using Riches’ “copyright name on his personal football outfit and casual clothing” without paying for the use. Oh, and Riches accuses Vick of subjecting him to “microwave testing.”
We didn’t think it was possible, but this makes Vick’s whole story about the water bottle/jewelry box seem a lot less far fetched.
Links:
[FoxNews.com]: South Carolina Inmate Hits Michael Vick With `$63,000,000,000 Billion Dollar’ Lawsuit Alleging Al Qaeda Ties
[Sports Law Blog]: Iran-Vick Affair? Michael Vick Sued for $63 Billion
3 replies on “Even more reason to hate Michael Vick: he’s a member of Al Qaeda!!”
Al Qaeda — According to the suit, Vick allegedly stole a pair of pit bulls from Riches’ Holiday, Fla., home and then used the dogs to fight at his notorious house in Virginia. Vick supposedly then took the pooches and instead of electrocuting or putting a bullet through their heads, like he normally does, decided to sell them on eBay for missile money. It might sound strange at first, but it all makes sense once Riches explains that Vick needs the missiles because he became a member of Al Qaeda this past February.
Òª×ö·Òë¾ÍÐèÒª·Ò빫˾£¬ÔÚÖйú£¬µ±È»Òª
3;ÒÉϺ£·Ò빫˾£¬ÔÚ±±·½¾ÍÐèÒª±±¾©·Ò빫˾ÁË¡£Èç¹ûµ½Ð½®ÂÃ
1;Σ¬¿ÉÒÔͨ¹ýн®×â³µ¹«Ë¾£¬²¢ÇÒÔÚ·ÒëÂÛ̳ÉÏÕÒһЩ»ï°é¡£Áí
5;⣬´ó¼ÒËÖªµÀÄÄÀ&#
239;ÓÐÃâ·ÑÔÚÏß·Òë°¡£¿ÎÒ¿ÉÒÔÌṩÏà
1;¦µÄÓÑÇéÁ´½ÓàÞ¡«
Michael Vick — After seeing recent photos of these poor innocent pit bulls, (one in particular where his face literally looks like its almost torn off) I broke down in tears.
My God you don’t even have to be an animal lover to find this man repulsive!!!!
How could anyone do this to these poor innocent dogs? He should absolutley be banned from the NFL forever.
THIS MAN DOES NOT HAVE A SOUL, OR A CONSCIENCE!!!!!!
I only wish I could be the judge, the day of his sentincing!!!
Vicks — Vicks Grandpa came outin defense of all the good he did.I understand that for a Grandpa to feel BUT why could he not come out and say”I am appalled at what my Grandson got involved in and unfortunately he must now pay the price”
Vicks got too big for his britches or its common place from where he was raised,who knows, but who cares ITS WRONG< all of you out there doing this,ITS WRONG!!!!!!and wrong is wrong pay the piper