team 3-d – Sportscolumn Blog

Sorry Kurt, but Bob Backlund is our American hero

Abyss showed his ugly face for the first time last week and then he followed that up by kicking Lance Hoyt’s butt all over the six-sided ring to open Impact on Thursday night. But the real fun came after the match when Abyss showed the world that he actually has a voice by screaming at his Victory Road opponents (A.J. Styles and Tomko) with his tag partner Sting by his side. We know that TNA is trying to make Abyss a fan favorite before James Mitchell brings in his newest monster, but we preferred the Abyss that was just a straight up ass kicking machine. Still, this is a helluva lot better than the emotionally fragile Abyss they were shoving down our throats not too long ago.

In the main event, Robert Roode joined forces with Christian Cage and his coalition of Styles and Tomko to take on all four competitors in the Match of Champions. It was obvious from the beginning that Team 3-D and Samoa Joe wanted nothing to do with Kurt Angle and his continually inflating ego. And for good reason as Angle offered no support during the match until Joe put Styles in the Muscle Buster; that’s when your Olympic hero jumped into action by tagging himself into the match. A chop to Joe’s leg sent the fat boy to the mat and Angle covered Styles for the easy 1-2-3. It’s all in a day’s work for the egomaniacal face of TNA.

During the broadcast, TNA announced that at Victory Road there would be a 10 Man Ultimate X Gauntlet Match to determine the No. 1 contender for the X Division Title. Now, we don’t need to tell you that the Ultimate X matches are some of the most entertaining the sport has ever seen. So, that match alone might be worth the price of the PPV. What sucks for these guys is that the match only gets them top contender status and they’ll still have to take on one of the four Match of Champions contestants for the belt. Talk about a difficult road to the top!

But the real reason we tune in each week isn’t to see the high flying or big impacts; no, we keep coming back for the great skits put together by Paparazzi Productions. This week was a debate between old and new school, with Kevin Nash mediating, that ended in a comedic brawl between Alex Shelly, Chris Saban, Jerry Lynn and Bob Backlund. And, as always, Backlund went absolutely berserk, leaving us in stitches as he slapped the Chicken Wing onto Shelly, ranting the entire time. Leave it to TNA to pull off the impossible and make Mr. Backlund cool again.

TNA Impact Recap: The Dudley Boys did it…NOOOOOOOO!

We’d be a lot more accepting of Team 3-D
if Stacy Keibler was still around.

After last week’s hour long, hardcore, three-way (it’s not what it sounds like) between Kurt Angle, Christian Cage and Rhino, we were a little worried that we might be looking at another 60-minute marathon when Impact kicked off their show with a triple threat match for the TNA Tag Team Championship. But it ended up being an incredibly action packed bout between the champs, Team 3-D, L.A.X. and A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels that was so entertaining that time wasn’t a factor. It should have ended after Styles took a wicked Border Toss from Hernandez, but Daniels pulled the ref out of the ring before his hand hit the mat for the third count. Next thing you know, Hernandez and his huge frame are flying over the top rope for a suicide dive on Brother Devon, Daniels and Styles. Pretty amazing stuff by a 300-pounder!

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, Brother Ray leaps off the top turnbuckle to the floor below, crushing both members of L.A.X. and an unfortunately misplaced Styles in the process. But the match would end suddenly when Team 3-D nailed the 3-D on Daniels to retain their TNA Tag Team belts. Ugh, again the future is sitting and waiting while the past gets to bask in their 20-title reign with yet another main event to their credit. When will poor Styles, quite possibly the most talented wrestler in the biz, ever get another big break? But we digress; so, in the Match of Champions at Victory Road, it will be Team 3-D taking on the uneasy combination of TNA Heavy Weight Champion Kurt Angle and X-Division champ Samoa Joe with a variety of outcomes hanging in the balance.

Then there was a hardcore, three-way, catfight (it is what is sounds like) between TNA eye-candy Ms. Brooks, Gail Kim and Jackie Moore. We haven’t seen three ladies tear into each other like that since that tequila filled Spring Break in Mexico back in ’02. While there are really no losers in a match like this, at least for the entire male viewing audience, Moore ended up taking the fall as Kim got the pinfall.

But the highlight of a highlight filled evening was Kurt Angle’s self appreciation night after he whopped Brock Lesnar in some gimmick match in Japan. And just as Angle was getting around to how great he was for the fifth or sixth time, Team 3-D had the nerve to interrupt his monologue with an old fashioned ass kicking. But all’s well that end’s well for the champ as he capped off the night by putting Joe through a table. This partnership is off to a smashing start.

Oh, but there’s still more; we finally got a look at Abyss’ ugly mug without the mask on and it wasn’t a pretty sight. He was wearing Sting’s face paint and looked an awful lot like a bloated Gene Simmons from KISS’ heyday. Next week, the freak speaks; stay tuned!