Tag: funny

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All Other Sports

Oh, the hilarity of a high dive gone wrong

If you’ve ever ventured to the local swimming hole during the hot days of summer, there’s a really good chance that you’ve shown off your cannonball skills. You know what? Cannonballs suck! If you really want to give your friends a chuckle and show off your manliness then you gotta have a respectable belly flop in your arsenal. But what’s even better than showing off a highly honed BF is the completely unexpected one. Especially when you get to watch the stinging splashdown in slow motion.

Of course, things could be a heck of a lot worse. At least in America we have water.

Categories
NBA General

Kevin Durant was born with 11 toes?!?! No wonder Portland might pass.


So, apparently there is a “FakeDurant” out there somewhere who is posting on Yardbarker as if he was the real Kevin Durant. Why is this news? Well, it looks like the NBA bound Durant’s peeps are requesting that the post be removed because FakeDurant is saying some pretty odd things and they don’t want their meal ticket getting a bad rap. The idea is good, but who the hell is going to believe that stuff like this would be written by the sickest freshman of all time (oh, not to mention it’s posted by FakeDurant!!!):

I met with the fine folks of the Seattle Sonics this week. They asked me what number I wanted to be and I said “69!” I mean DUH LOL.

I HAD A SIXTH TOE ON MY RIGHT FOOT WHEN I WAS BORN AND THE DOCTOR CUT IT OFF!

People are always interviewing me and they all want to know whether or not I think Joakim Noah is ugly. I DO! Sorry bro BUT YOUS HIDEOUS lol!!! But I think everyone agrees with me when I say I’d love to team up with the MilfHunter and hunt down his mom! I mean OMG good thing I’m wearing compression shorts right now!

I took a poop today and the inside of the toilet looked like a smiley face…does that mean i might be gay? FREE BRITNEY (aka MILF)!!!

Well, now that we think about it, that does totally sound like something Durant would say. It might happen. Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of our butts.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Fake Durant Causes Yardbarker To Get Contacted By Real Durant’s People

Categories
All Other Sports

Here’s another extreme sport for all you adrenaline junkies

So, we’re always looking for ways to the fill the void that encompasses the normal sports fan during the long, hot days of summer. First, we discovered the newest sensation sweeping the nation which is commonly referred to as “backjumping”. Now, we’ve discovered that our regular Saturday night behavior was actually a bona fide sport. Well, it’s considered a sport in England. At least, it’s a start.

Categories
Utah Jazz

Salt Lake City can finally joke again after getting pounded in the playoffs

So, there we were, thumbing through the online edition of The Salt Lake Tribune (a regular read of ours) when the headline “Jazz prospect is `very tall, and very Romanian’” caught our eyes. We were kind of taken back by the comment until we read the article and were pleasantly surprised that our Salt Lake source wasn’t reduced to merely evaluating players based solely on the criteria of their height and nationality. Unfortunately, we were somewhat preoccupied during the entire read because after that headline, we just couldn’t get this broadcasting blunder out of our heads:

There was also a comment in the second paragraph about how nothing causes more anxiety than the phrase “Benoit for three!” We’re going to assume that he means the former Jazz player and not the former lowlife, family killing wrestler.

Categories
NBA General

Odds and Ends: Kevin Durant gets Gilbertized

Gilbert Arenas is a great talent on the court, but it’s pretty well known that he’s a bit cuckoo in the head. And Kevin Durant is a superstar in the waiting who is a human sponge waiting for the proper teacher. Basically what we are saying is that if we were the GM at Portland or Seattle, we would get our cornerstone of the future the hell away from Agent 0.

In other news…

[USA Today]: Jockey gets a slap on the wrist for kicking a horse.

[SI.com]: It’s up and down for Chicago Bears fans.

[ESPN]: Chris Benoit murdered his wife and son; the ugly truth unfolds.

[ABC13.com]: Yao Ming is getting married!

[AZCentral.com]: Stephen Jackson is gone but the Pacers are still going to court.

And finally, Tank Johnson, Pacman Jones, Michael Vick and a slew of other might be on the outside looking in at the moment, but we think that we might have found a kid who is working on filling those empty NFL holes one day. He definitely has the off-field behavior down.

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Someone should tell the Spurs trainer to start reading the expiration dates

This year marked the first time in Tim Duncan’s stellar career that he didn’t win the NBA Finals MVP after guiding the Spurs to a championship; instead, it was Tony Parker who stole the show and the trophy. Now, we thought something stunk about the lil’ Frenchman snatching up the award and now we have the video evidence to back up what we suspected all along: Parker was poisoning Duncan’s Gatorade in order to become the best player on the floor!

Sacre bleu!!

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All Other Sports

Sports anchor wannabe watches his dreams crash and burn

Sometimes you wake up and you can just tell that it is going to be one hell of a day. Those are the mornings that we usually just crawl back in bed and unplug the alarm clock. Unfortunately, the chump in this clip we stumbled across wasn’t so smart and he got completely bulldozed by life.

“And boom goes the dynamite” might be totally lame, but it’s still on par with the SportsCenter crew. And at least he didn’t do this.

Of course, for every sucker that clams up on camera, you have one who just loves to talk and talk and talk…

Links:

[Basketbawful]: Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Categories
Indianapolis Colts

Odds and Ends: The ESPYs are coming! The ESPYs are coming!


The ESPY awards are just about three weeks away and the voting has begun for all 38 categories on ESPN.com. And surprise, surprise, surprise; everybody’s favorite group of good guys, the Colts, lead the field with six nominations; including Best Team and Best Male Athlete (Peyton Manning). We’d like to see the Super Bowl champs go 0-for-6 on the evening, but that’s like asking Tony Dungy to give an acceptance speech without mentioning the Lord. It just isn’t going to happen.

In other news…

[MSNBC.com]: Marion Jones is flat broke.

[USA Today]: Steve Spurrier is already starting the year on the wrong foot.

[Our Book of Scrap]: A cliff and a swinging wire with Dennis Rodman attached. Let the hilarity ensue.

[Dallas News. com]: Bad news Bear gets cut.

[DetNews.com]: Chauncey Billups is officially a free agent, and a popular one at that.

[OrlandoSentinel.com]: Could a K.G. trade to L.A. keep Kobe in town?

And finally, Kobayashi’s streak of five consecutive July 4 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating contest could be unexpectedly ending after the master of raw dogging it came down with a nasty case of jaw arthritis. Apparently, Kobayashi attempted to train through the pain and ended up doing more harm than good. With the champ out of the picture, it’s time for America to put their greasy little mark back on the map of competitive eating. C’mon, “Jaws” Chestnut, we’re counting on you.

Categories
All Other Sports

No NFL, no NBA, no NHL…no problem

There’s only one thing we love more than sports and that’s crazy ass extreme sports. And with the long days of summer upon us, there is no better time to turn our attention to the fringe sports of the world. So, while you’re waiting for football to kick off in the fall, you might want to start working on your backjumping techniques. Oh, you haven’t heard of backjumping? Well, we’ll allow the innovators to explain:

When we first heard the term “freebacking” we thought that it was going to be something totally different, but we’re still down. And if skateboarding has a chance to make it in the Olympics, then we can totally see backjumping going global as well.

Categories
Golf

Nissan turns Rich Beem’s automobile dry hump into an ad

Earlier in the year, when you saw Rich Beem sink a hole-in-one at the Nissan Open and jump on top of his shiny new car, the first thing you thought was: “This is gonna be a commercial.” Well, actually, you probably thought: “You idiot! Get off your new ride! You’re f’n it up!” Either way you would have been right because we just stumbled across this Nissan ad featuring Beem and the man/car lovefest that ensued immediately following his big shot.

Wouldn’t you love to see that kind of enthusiasm out of Tiger every once in a while? We know that the fist pump is his trademark and all, but it’s okay to let loose every now and then. After all, he’s got a lot to be happy about; is slobbering all over an inanimate object really too much to ask?

Links:

[The Golf Blog]: Nice shot, nice car