Boston Red Sox

Even Man Ram knows this is a stupid deal

Listen, we understand that there’s nothing better than taking in the World Series atmosphere live and in person, especially when it’s favorite team playing for all the marbles. Likewise, we know that times are tough and money is tight. But get it through you’re head desperate Rockies fans, nobody wants your crap!

We told you about the guy who’s trying to swap a year’s worth of Mexican food (Pepto-Bismol not included) for a couple tickets to the Series. Well, he’s not the only one who’s looking for a flea marketesque bargain on some stubs.

Little league baseball coach Bobby Padilla just wants to take his son to a World Series game, so he’s carted up from his basement boxes full of 25 years worth of Playboy magazines, not a missing month, in mint condition. He bought the magazines nine years ago for $200 as a favor to a friend.

He said it’s because he struck out mixing a lineup of at least 10 computers trying to buy tickets online. He said nobody has inquired about the magazines yet.

Really, wonder why? Could it be because nobody in their right mind would fill their house with boxes and boxes of Playboy bunnies? We’re not saying that people wouldn’t mind having `em; hell, we’d like to relive some of those Bo Derek and Shannon Tweed days ourselves. We’re just saying that nobody is stupid enough to give you World f’n Series tickets for them.

Well, we take that back. There is one man. A shoe man.


[]: Man Will Trade 25 Years Of Playboys For Tickets

Boston Red Sox

Governors step up to the plate for the World Series’ dumb bet derby

Well, it’s World Series time and you know what that means, right? You got it; it’s time to for politicians to start making moronic bets involving foods which are supposed to be cultural staples. So, what do you got for us this year fellas?

(Massachusetts Gov. Deval) Patrick is putting up lobsters and ice cream vs. beef from (Colorado Gov. Bill) Ritter.

Whooopeee, can’t wait for the BCS National Championship game to roll around so we can do this all again. Wait, there’s more? Oh, no, there’s more.

Patrick and Ritter aren’t the only ones betting on their home teams.

U.S. Sens. Wayne Allard and Ken Salazar of Colorado are wagering Colorado-raised beef, while Massachusetts Sens. Edward Kennedy and John Kerry are countering with New England clam chowder and lobster rolls.

The senators who lose the bet will donate the grub to a charity chosen by the senators who win.

Reps. Mark Udall, Diana DeGette and John Salazar of Colorado have their own bet against Boston-area Reps. Edward Markey, Stephen Lynch and Michael Capuano.

If the Red Sox win, the Colorado representatives treat their counterparts to a meal of steaks and chili. If the Rockies win, the Massachusetts trio foots the bill for chowder and lobster.

Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper wagered sub sandwiches, herbal tea, tortilla chips, salsa and ice cream against Boston Mayor Thomas Menino’s clam chowder, coffee, doughnuts and ice cream sandwiches.

These are each stupid in their own unique ways, but what the heck are Hickenlooper and Menino thinking with their Half Baked grocery list of muchies? You do know that these bets aren’t solely done with the purposes of filling your pockets full of ice cream sandwiches and doughnuts.

Of course, then you’ve got the whole other issue of how these guys are completely outta touch with the baseball world. Frankly, while we find it funny when they pretend to be big fans, we honestly don’t want our politicians keeping up with sports. George `Dubbya’ can barely run the country as it is; do you really want him to be preoccupied with breaking down the pros and cons of Braylon Edwards versus Laveranues Coles?

And, by the way, if you come across any extra tickets, just give this guy a shout.


[]: World Series bet: Beef vs. seafood