TNA Impact Recap: The Dudley Boys did it…NOOOOOOOO!

We’d be a lot more accepting of Team 3-D
if Stacy Keibler was still around.

After last week’s hour long, hardcore, three-way (it’s not what it sounds like) between Kurt Angle, Christian Cage and Rhino, we were a little worried that we might be looking at another 60-minute marathon when Impact kicked off their show with a triple threat match for the TNA Tag Team Championship. But it ended up being an incredibly action packed bout between the champs, Team 3-D, L.A.X. and A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels that was so entertaining that time wasn’t a factor. It should have ended after Styles took a wicked Border Toss from Hernandez, but Daniels pulled the ref out of the ring before his hand hit the mat for the third count. Next thing you know, Hernandez and his huge frame are flying over the top rope for a suicide dive on Brother Devon, Daniels and Styles. Pretty amazing stuff by a 300-pounder!

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, Brother Ray leaps off the top turnbuckle to the floor below, crushing both members of L.A.X. and an unfortunately misplaced Styles in the process. But the match would end suddenly when Team 3-D nailed the 3-D on Daniels to retain their TNA Tag Team belts. Ugh, again the future is sitting and waiting while the past gets to bask in their 20-title reign with yet another main event to their credit. When will poor Styles, quite possibly the most talented wrestler in the biz, ever get another big break? But we digress; so, in the Match of Champions at Victory Road, it will be Team 3-D taking on the uneasy combination of TNA Heavy Weight Champion Kurt Angle and X-Division champ Samoa Joe with a variety of outcomes hanging in the balance.

Then there was a hardcore, three-way, catfight (it is what is sounds like) between TNA eye-candy Ms. Brooks, Gail Kim and Jackie Moore. We haven’t seen three ladies tear into each other like that since that tequila filled Spring Break in Mexico back in ’02. While there are really no losers in a match like this, at least for the entire male viewing audience, Moore ended up taking the fall as Kim got the pinfall.

But the highlight of a highlight filled evening was Kurt Angle’s self appreciation night after he whopped Brock Lesnar in some gimmick match in Japan. And just as Angle was getting around to how great he was for the fifth or sixth time, Team 3-D had the nerve to interrupt his monologue with an old fashioned ass kicking. But all’s well that end’s well for the champ as he capped off the night by putting Joe through a table. This partnership is off to a smashing start.

Oh, but there’s still more; we finally got a look at Abyss’ ugly mug without the mask on and it wasn’t a pretty sight. He was wearing Sting’s face paint and looked an awful lot like a bloated Gene Simmons from KISS’ heyday. Next week, the freak speaks; stay tuned!