Stuck in Prison? Why not get ESPN?

Because of overcrowding in California prisons, the Department of Creatiosn created a video that is strangely like a timeshare recruiting video trying to convince convicts to move to a prison in Tennessee. Apparently the video gets played daily in California prisons like some weird 1984 propaganda film.

In true sales video style, it also has testimonials from earlier transferees:

You get 79 cable channels here. ESPN. You can’t beat that. We watch sports all day. That’s what we’ve been doing since we’ve been here: watching sports,” said one inmate.
Another inmate said that everyone got along at his prison and called fellow inmates “buddies.”
“Your cells are open all day long except for a few counts, from 6:15, 6:30 in the morning to 10:30 at night, and 12:30 on weekends,” said one inmate.

Hey, and ass rapings only occur on alternate Tuesdays! Can you imagine if you got there and prison officials edited ESPN so all you ever got was reruns of Quite Frankly with Stephen A Smith, Stu Scott and Skip Bayless? That would be cruel and unusual punishment.

[NBC11]: Calif. Inmates Tempted By Cheeseburgers, ESPN In Tennessee

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  1. RJ Warner | Mar 8, 2007 | Reply

    Hell… — that sounds like a good deal for ME! I get ass-raped every other Friday by the govt. anyway. I call it payday. Hell I don’t get to watch sports all day and I can’t get anybody to make me a decent cheeseburger. If anyone wants me to kill them, gimme a yell!

  2. BostonMac | Mar 9, 2007 | Reply

    Jail — Speaking of prison, the “Office” episode re-run last night was  the one where they find out that the new guy from the Stamford branch spent some time in prison, and after his stories of his prison experience, they all conclude that prison would be better than working at Dunder-Mifflin.  Good stuff.

  3. Clay | Mar 9, 2007 | Reply

    Office — Easily the funniest show on television.  

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