Figure it out!
Remember when athletes used to retire with dignity? They’d realize their skills had deteriorated and hold a tearful press conference to announce they were done. I could do without the waterworks but damn do I miss those days. Now, athletes threaten to retire. They don’t come out and do it of course, they find one of their cronies to “leak” the story to some idiot sportswriter and the next thing you know, the fans who are living 10 years in the past get all panicky. Please.
Yesterday, it was Sammy Sosa, begging for a spot on a team by saying he wouldn’t beg for a spot on a team. Today comes news from his agent that Roger Clemens is leaning towards retirement. Is he just trying to hold up the Red Sox and the Rangers for more cash? (By the way, how desperate are the Red Sox. They made a DVD that included Boston fans pleading for the Rocket to go back there. Have some pride, man.) Or maybe he just needs the spotlight for a couple more months.
Of course, no day can go by without retirement talk about John Madden’s personal Jesus Brett Favre. According to his agent, a couple of days ago, Brett said, “If you ask me today, I’d say I’m leaning toward retirement.” I don’t care if Favre leans towards being a a gay cowboy, just make up your damn mind or shut up. Actually, anyone who isn’t firmly planted on Favre’s ass knows that he should have retired 2 years ago after throwing a duck to Brian Dawkins in the playoffs.
[Railbird Central]: Brett Favre’s agent James “Bus” Cook confirms retirement thoughts
[MSNBC]: Agent says Clemens most likely will retire
