Here are the best sports satire stories for this week.
[Sports Pickle]: Isiah Thomas to Use Mental Retardation Defense in Sexual Harassment Case
“It’s going to be impossible for any jury to look at Isiah’s body of work since his playing career ended and conclude anything other than the obvious: Isiah Thomas suffers from severe mental retardation,” said Philip Walters, Thomas’s lawyer.”
[The Brushback]: Brown Accuses Thomas Of Sexual Harassment In Attempt To Get Fired
“I have never sexually harassed Larry. If I was going to sexually harass a man, it wouldn’t be Larry Brown.”
[Onion Sports]: All-Time Greatest Super Bowl Moments
1994: Bills quarterback Jim Kelly, who two years earlier pumped up his team with a “We’ve Got the Experience We Need to Win” talk and the previous year instilled hope with his “Third Time’s the Charm” speech, gathers his teammates to tell them not to bother trying this year and resign themselves to their horrible fate.
