All Other Sports

This dude is lucky he’s not a horse or he’d be glue by now

Every now and again we feel compelled to bring you a moment of stomach turning disgust. Don’t believe us? Just check out our Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries. So, today’s painful moment comes to us from the world of MMA where some guy snaps his leg in two during a fight.

We have no idea about the who, when or where of this horrifying accident, but does it really matter? After all, we are talking about a guy who shattered his leg bone for the entire world to see and be grossed out by. How often does something like that happen in life? Oh, wait; now that we’ve recovered from our lightheadedness we know why this is starting to feel like déjà vu all over again. We tried to mentally block it out but our BONUS injury lives on.

Washington Redskins

LaRon Landry takes a paintball to the package

Okay, so we promised that we weren’t going to be giving you any more stories about jocks’ jocks but there was no way we could let this pass us by. Washington Redskins rookie LaRon Landry was injured on Wednesday when he was shot in the groin with a paintball during a “team-building outing.” According to the new old ol’ ball coach Joe Gibbs, Landry should be fine after a few days of rest. Maybe we’re skeptics, but it sounds to us like the No. 6 overall pick just wanted to get out of minicamp. C’mon, who hasn’t used the old “shot in the groin with a paintball” excuse?

What’s really funny about all of this is that Marcus Washington claims he had no idea that paintballs could cause an injury.

I didn’t know paintball was that dangerous,” linebacker Washington said. “I hope it wasn’t friendly fire.

There’s a joke involving Pat Tillman in there somewhere but we’re just going to let it slide.


[]: Paintball Injury Sideline Redskins’ No. 1 Pick

New York Mets

Fat guy tumbles down stairs at Shea, crushes lady

Anybody who has ever been to a baseball game knows that fans are required to be active and aware at all times. You never know when a foul ball or even a bat could come flying into the stands. And you might want to even keep an eye on those crafty vendors who will try to sell you last week’s unsold hot dogs. But, the last thing any dedicated fan could possibly be prepared for would be a 300-pound monster of a man to come tumbling down the bleachers and blindside you while you enjoyed an ice cold brewski. Well, now you’ve been warned because that is exactly what happened to Ellen Massey during the Mets home opener on Monday.

I only know he came flying,” Massey, 58, said Wednesday from her bed in Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx. “I was literally not able to breathe for about half-a-minute or so. The first thing I was aware of was not being able to breathe, and then when I was able to breathe I was aware of the pain in my lower back.

Luckily, Massey is a lawyer, so she’ll probably sue his fat ass if she ever finds him. The human cannonball got up and left the scene quicker than Michael Waltrip after he wrapped his ride around a telephone pole.

Massey is scheduled to have surgery on her back as a result of the incident and admits that she would have never expected anything like this to happen at her beloved Shea Stadium.

I have to say that in going to a baseball park, the only fear that has ever entered my mind is that I’d get hit by a hard ball,” she said.

“I didn’t expect a 300-pound human missile to hit me in the back. That doesn’t come up on my list of fears.

We’re wondering if it could have been this guy as he was taking a day off from his training to enjoy America’s pastime.


[]: 300-pound man crushes fan at Shea

Toronto Raptors

Hey Dwyane, now this is a reason to cry

Hoops usually isn’t a game that people would consider to be brutal, but this year has been quite different. So far our stomachs have been turned by nasty injuries to Shaun Livingston and Idong Ibok. Well, now you can Jorge Garbajosa to that list.

Garbajosa went up to block a shot by the Celtics’ Al Jefferson and it turned out to be the most painful decision of his life because when he came down, his leg got caught up underneath him and twisted in a horrific fashion, breaking his leg. The injury was so ugly that Jefferson couldn’t even look at Garbajosa as he screamed in pain. The injury is so nasty that it could be the end of Garbajosa’s career. It’s a good thing he’s not a horse, because this was an injury worthy of sending him to the glue factory.


[]: Raptors’ Garbajosa breaks leg