General Sports

And the winner for "Most creative, self-inflicted KO" goes to…

This has absolutely nothing to do with sports, but there is no way we weren’t going to post this. Here’s a video of a fat, drunk idiot knocking himself out by jumping down a flight of stairs with the intentions of landing on his head. Hey, some college guys play beer pong, others intentionally give themselves brain damage. To each is own. – Watch more free videos

All Other Sports

This numbskull literally gets a numb skull

Apparently today is fun with fitness equipment day because in addition to dudes dunking on trampolines, we’ve come across this video of a dumbass trying to run on a treadmill on his hands! Don’t worry; it’s ends how you’d expect it to.

New York Giants

Tiki Barber "helped" the G-Men win the Super Bowl, just ask him

It’s not that we give a flip about the Patriots, but we just aren’t particularly fond of the Giants. So, when New York pulled off the upset on Super Bowl Sunday, we were hit with a tidal wave of mixed emotions. In the end, we found what gave us solace was 1.) knowing Jeremy Shockey was injured for the big game and could take absolutely no credit for the shocker, and 2.) Tiki Barber must have wanted to jump right in front of a moving bus. Well, believe it or not (we say not), Barber claims to be cool with missing out on getting a giant ring. But, at the same time, it sounds to us like he’s expecting one in the mail at any moment.

I feel great joy for them because I know in a lot of ways I helped a lot of guys on that team,” Barber said. “I know Brandon was someone who benefited from me being there; even criticizing someone is a way of getting them to think about themselves.

After all, it was Barber’s stern words for Tom Coughlin that got the ball rolling. But Tiki doesn’t need to tell you that because apparently he’s not the only one drinking his own Kool-Aid.

Last summer, a current Giants veteran, who is a member of Coughlin’s advisory board of players, confirmed the effectiveness of Barber’s outspokenness in an e-mail message. Under the subject line of “Miss U,” the message read:

“You would be happy to know all your work paid off for us. Tom has been unbelievably cool this year. Took us bowling last night instead of meetings and just been joking around and busting on guys all the time. You would be impressed by his transformation.

And Eli Manning’s MVP trophy; Tiki might be responsible for that too.

I asked Barber if he thought his criticism of Manning helped prod him out of a shell. “I don’t know, cause Eli doesn’t pay attention, ” Barber said laughing. “In this case, it made him stand up and I guess become aware.


[Awful Announcing]: Tiki Barber Finally Says What We All Know He Was Thinking
[]: For Barber and Giants, a Parting, Then an Embrace


Soccer coach moons a bunch of little girls

Happy Halloween kids!

We’re not speaking from experience here, but we’re figuring that turning your daughter over to a male coach is probably about as nerve racking as letting her go out on her first date. After all, there are a lot of sick dudes out there in the guise of a coach. So, how do you know who to trust in this day and age? Well, if you ever see any type of behavior that resembles this, then you should probably pull daddy’s little girl from the program immediately.

Sonoma County authorities Monday were investigating a report that a Petaluma soccer coach mooned a team of teenage girls during a weekend match.

The Sonoma County Sheriff’s Department said the incident was reported at about 2:30 p.m. Saturday after a Windsor Cup Soccer game had been played by female players under the age of 16.

Deputies learned that the game had become heated and erupted into several arguments, after which the Petaluma team’s coach walked to the center of the field and allegedly exposed his rear to the opposing team, according to the sheriff’s office.

Several of the Windsor team players and their parents called police and reported the incident. However, the coach has denied the allegations, according to the sheriff’s department.

Wait, he denied it? This guy walks to center field, drops trou and moons an entire team of young girls in the middle of the day and he’s got the guts to say it was just a figment of their imagination. Wow, and we thought that Isiah Thomas was full of crap.


[The Offside]: Coach Suspended for Mooning Girls’ Youth Team
[]: Soccer Coach Suspended For “Mooning” Opposing Team

NFL General

We just found the dumbest sports reporter in the world and he’s not an Around The Horn panelist

From the idiotic quotes department, it appears that Clinton Portis, Terrell Owens’ publicist and Stephon Marbury will have to get a little closer in order to make room for the newest inductee into the “no mental filter” hall of fame.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reporter Paul Zeise appeared on the television show Sports Showdown on Sunday evening and he decided to disagree with a fellow panelist concerning the current Michael Vick situation. Apparently, the other guy said that the commish, Roger Goodell, should suspend Vick for the entire season because of the recent indictment. Here’s what Zeise had to say about that:

It’s really a sad day in this country when somehow . . . Michael Vick would have been better off raping a woman if you look at the outcry of what happened,” Zeise said. “Had he done that, he probably would have been suspended for four games and he’d be back on the field. But because this has become a political issue, all of a sudden the commissioner has lost his stomach for it.

It’s pretty damn hard to find something more reprehensible than dogfighting/slaughtering, but we feel confident in saying that rape is an even more disturbing and sickening act. And, of course, once Zeise realized the magnitude of what he had said, probably thanks to some serious backlash from everyone who heard the statements, he immediately issued a carefully constructed apology.

I regret the poor choice of analogies I used to characterize a professional athlete’s legal situation,” Zeise said.

But, despite the weak apology, the station that aired the program said they considered the comments to be “insensitive and offensive” and that Zeise won’t be appearing on the show again. In our opinion, that’s all well and good, but it’s basically just a slap on the wrist. So, we propose a stiffer, more unpleasant punishment for the dumb ass; throw him in a prison cell with some lonely lifer named Meatball and let him find out first hand just how horrible rape can be. Or stuff a ferret down his pants; whichever.


[]: Reporter sorry he said: `Vick would have been better off raping’