General Sports

Odds and Ends: Andy Roddick and Maria Sharapova are not dating

Andy Roddick told reporters a million times that he and Sharapova are just good friends. “You know, we’re friendly. We’re in the same places. I think she’s a great girl. You know, we’ll talk. That’s about it.” Damn, Andy, how can you be friends with Maria Sharapova and not want to run up in her like Bruce Jenner? (Man that’s an old joke. Some of you kids don’t even know who Bruce Jenner is right? Now stay off of my lawn!) What is wrong with Andy Roddick? We’re officially starting the Andy Roddick is gay speculation. And of course, this post is nothing more than a reason to post another photo of Miss Sharapova.

In other news…

[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Remember Mathias Askew? He’s suing the city of Cincinnati for $50M

[ESPN]: 5 NFL franchises now worth over $1B

[Sign On San Diego]: Even umpire beefs halt for Kate Smith

[Toronto Star]: CFL player accused fo sexual assault

[Clarion Ledger]: Can’t read? Football player? No problem! Come to Ole Miss

[Beyond the Box Score]: Which Players Had The best RBI-to-GIDP Ratios?

Cincinnati Bengals

Hello? Jerk line? Jerome Bettis sucks.

The Bengals Jerk line debuted last night and because there’s no call waiting or voicemail, there were only 100 logged calls. The majority of the people just wanted to see if the jerk line worked. A couple of people called to complain that Jerome Bettis (did you know he was from Detroit and then played the Super Bowl in detroit?) was in the stadium. One was an actual complaint that required a security guard to intervene.

The Bengals director of stadium development said the jerk line worked but that they’d evaluate the effectiveness after the second regular season home game. “If 90 percent of the calls we’re getting are prank calls, we need to re-evaluate this.”

[Cincinanti Enquirer]: Jerk line makes its debut

Cincinnati Bengals

The Jerk store called…

Big Bengal is watching

and they’re out of Bengals fans! (Not exactly sure what that means but we like to use Seinfeld references whenever we can. )

The Cincinnati Bengals security team have set up a hotline called the Jerk Line (513-381-JERK) for people to report unruly behavios duing Bengals games. The security cameras will then zoom in and offenders will be kicked out and possibly lose their season tickets.

What’s funny about this article is that they interviewed a woman who took her 12 year old son to a game.

We told him beforehand, ‘You might see some drunk people, you might hear some F-words and swearing.’ But at the game, I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m going to mar my son for the rest of his life by having him come to this game.’ It was so bad.

Taking your son to a football game with drunks and F-bombs aren’t going to mar him for life. That ridiculous sheltering attitude is going to mar him for life. (And possibly that breastfeeding till he was 10…) A couple of drunks and curse words? So what? That’s just the extended family over for Thanksgiving.

A bunch of fat obnoxious slobs yelling out “Ben Roethlisberger is a fucking cocksucker” will do no harm. Hell, you read it on the internet everyday. Just like right now. You’re lucky no one dropped a C-bomb.

Oh, and in the same shit different day category, another Bengal gets arrested — this time for boating DUI.

[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Bengals call out jerk fans
[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Bengal charged with DUI

Cincinnati Bengals

Another incident for Jailblazers East

You can add Matthias Askew to the growing list of Bengals players arrested this offseason. Askew was shopping for CDs in Cincinnati and decided to park his Escalade on the sidewalk. When the police asked him to move it, he ignored them until they threatened to give him a ticket, then he attempted to drive away but the police told him he couldn’t. Askew parked the vehicle and, according to the police, got out of the car and assumed a “fighting stance”. He was then arrested.

But that’s not all folks. When the police were putting the cuffs on him, Askew attempted to get away and that’s when he was tasered. Imagine a 300 pounder flopping around on the ground after getting tasered. Askew was taken into custody and released on a $248 bond. Now, it seems to us that although Askew was being a dick, the police should’ve just let him drive away, no harm no foul. Instead, we get another negative incident surrounding the Bengals. The over/under on Bengals wins this year is 9. Take the under.

Oh, and if you’ve ever wondered what being tasered looks like, check out this classic video of a woman spouting off and getting tasered.


[]: Another Bengal in trouble

NFL General

Santonio Holmes still trails Chris Henry by 2 arrests

Baby Momma drama

Santonio Holmes has been arrested again, this time for assaulting his baby momma. She called the police to report that the father of her child assaulted her and while the police were there to take her report, Holmes returned to the apartment and was arrested.

Ironically, before the NFL Draft, Holmes said he wanted to be a top pick so he could support his three children. That Santonio, always looking out for family. Well, either looking out for or lying to them. Holmes made the news in May for getting arrested on Memorial Day weekend for disorderly conduct in Miami when he told his mom he was still in Columbus Ohio.

Holmes is clearly losing the battle with Chris Henry, WR for the Bengals. Two arrests in two states? Please. Henry has been arrested four times in three states! The latest charge was providing alcohol to three underage girls a.k.a The Marcus Vick Special. His previous three arrests were for marijuana possession, concealed weapon charge, and DUI.

Come on Santonio! We realize you haven’t even hit training camp yet but Chris Henry is only a 2nd year player. You gotta be at least within 1 arrest of him. May we suggest going on a boat cruise with Fred Smoot?


[Sportsline ]: Steelers’ Holmes arrested again, charged with domestic violence
[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Henry pleads not guilty (they just recycle this headline)