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Danica’s demolition derby

Surely, by now you’ve seen the clip of Danica Patrick bowling over a member of an opposing pit crew. But if you haven’t then here’s your chance. It’s pretty painful to watch. Charles Buckman is still in the hospital after suffering a fractured skull and experiencing brain hemorrhaging, but he is expected to recover.

We know that the Indy Racing League released Patrick of all responsibility in the incident, but now is the perfect opportunity for you to insert your favorite “women are bad drivers” joke.

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Brits believe Brazilian is UFC’s champ of champs


With the UFC headed to London soon for a Chuck Liddell-less pay-per-view, British tabloid The Sun decided to compile a list of their Top 10 UFC fighters. It was a good effort, but, in our opinion, they should stick to ranking the best cricket players because they apparently know as much about the UFC as they do dental hygiene.

10. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira
9. Forrest Griffin
8. Wanderlei Silva
7. Matt Hughes
6. Rich Franklin
5. Quinton Jackson
4. Chuck Liddell
3. BJ Penn
2. Georges St. Pierre
1. Anderson Silva

These rankings are completely arbitrary, but one thing for certain about the world of MMA is that Frank Shamrock is one tough S.O.B.!

Links:

[The Sun]: Top 10 UFC fighters
[YardBarker.com]: Frank Shamrock’s Right Hand of Death

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The future of hockey hooliganism is in good hands


We knew that Jonathan Roy, son of hockey great Patrick Roy, was already a loose cannon after he skated clear across the ice to get his brawl on, but we had no idea that Todd Bertuzzi had a kid who was already following in his father’s footsteps.

A 17-year-old boy has been charged with assault with a weapon following an alleged stick-swinging incident during a hockey game in southwestern Ontario.

Provincial police say a player on a midget team from Paris, Ont., took a two-handed swing with his stick during a Feb. 22 game and hit an opposing player in the abdomen.

The injured player, from the nearby town of Caledonia, was taken to Brantford General Hospital with a ruptured spleen and internal bleeding.

We’re guessing it looked a little bit like this only it wasn’t in an office and the kid got whacked in the gut.

Links:

[TheStar.com]: Teen charged after alleged assault with hockey stick

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Race car carnage on the track

We’re not big fans of open wheel racing, but we’re amazed by the crashes. The engineering of these cars must be a painstaking process because there is absolutely no way someone should be able to walk away from a wreck of this magnitude.

“That’s going to bring the pace car out.”

Classic commentary.

Links:

[The Angry T]: The Most Ridiculous Car Crash Ever

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Picking the Kentucky Derby Scrabble style


Since we have no idea who is going to win the Kentucky Derby and any pick is as good as another, every year we just use the Scrabble pick.  We rank the horses in the order of their Scrabble score and hope that by some miracle, it actually works and we win our $100 $2 trifecta bet.  And, of course, the bragging rights when it does happen.

So without further ado, here are the Scrabble picks for this year’s Kentucky Derby.  Scrabble points are from the Scrabble Score Generator and ddds from Bodog’s Kentucky Derby odds page.

  1. Bob Black Jack (37 pts) / 50-1
  2. Recapturetheglory (28 pts) / 20-1
  3. Colonel John (23 pts) / 9-2
  4. Behindthebar (23 pts) / ?

Surprisingly, two horses with Zs in their name didn’t make the top 4.  There you go folks.  When you hit that huge superfecta, send us a tip, ok?

All the other scrabble scores after the jump, in case you want to go lowest to highest in your wager.

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Pole vaulters just gained some points in our book


Who said pole vaulters were weenies? Obviously, they haven’t heard about Chip Heuser from the Oklahoma Sooners. Don’t let the fact that he wears a dorky helmet nowadays fool ya, this guy is an animal, cheating death on numerous occasions after taking a 16-foot plunge and landing head first following an errant vault six months ago. We’ll let him explain.

Chip Heuser: Funny thing about it, it was actually Halloween.

Jenni Carlson: No trick, no treat.

CH: Definitely not. I tricked myself into this one. We were doing a drill. It was a drill simulating the vault in the air called rope vaulting. The set-up we have requires an extra mat behind the pit itself just in case you carry too much momentum and overshoot the pit.

So, of course, you probably know what I did. Forgot the mat. Overshot the pit. Landed from about 16 feet in the air directly on my skull. Fractured my occipital bone, had a contrecoup injury, damage to my poles. Was in the ICU about seven days, was released, then had a seizure and was put back in the ICU for another three days.

JC: Oh, geez.

CH: I had some hemorrhaging … but luckily, they didn’t have to operate. If they would’ve operated, I would not be vaulting. I’m forced to wear a helmet now when I jump, but it doesn’t keep me from wanting to jump again. …

JC: After you were released from the hospital, you had a seizure?

CH: I was in the ICU seven days, released, then the next morning after the release, I suffered the seizure and went right back in the hospital. It was bad.

JC: It’s a miracle you’re here.

CH: They lost me once right after the initial impact. Then they lost me twice after the seizure in the ambulance.

JC: You essentially died three times. How do you even process something like that?

CH: The funny thing about it is I don’t recall much.

You should be proud of yourself Chip, not only are you alive, but you made it onto our blog. That’s quite an accomplishment. We haven’t even looked in the general direction of another pole vaulter since we discovered Miss Stokke.

Links:

[NewsOK.com]: The Q&A: Chip Heuser: Oklahoma pole vaulter back after 16-foot fall

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Rugby player works the shocker during a game

We’ve heard of hitting below the belt, but since when did the strategy turn to fingering inside the anus?

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Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell needs an icepack…or two


Sorry Iceman fans, but there will be no Chuck Liddell at UFC 85. The former light heavyweight champion of the world was forced to withdraw from his June 7th fight against Ultimate Fighter winner Rashad Evans because of an injury. Liddell tore his hamstring (which looks pretty damn painful) while training for the bout and there’s no telling how long he’ll be out of action. After all, would you put a timetable on something as nasty as that?

“Unfortunately, Chuck Liddell tore his right hamstring during training last week, and being the warrior that he is, he still wanted to fight, which is the reason why everyone in the world loves him,” said Dana White, UFC President. “But I wouldn’t let anyone fight with his leg looking that way. Let him heal and come back and fight when he is 100 percent.”

The UFC is going to find another main event for the London pay-per-view and, personally, we’re hoping Mr. Roboto can make a quick turnaround.

Links:

[UFC.com]: Chuck Liddell Injured; Forced To Withdraw From UFC 85

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Talk about unorthodox; when’s the last time you saw the reverse sprinkler during a fight?

If you’re like us then you didn’t shell out the $49.95 UFC was asking for its pay-per-view over the weekend. It was disappointing to read about Matt Serra losing his gold to George St. Pierre instead of seeing it, but it turns out the main event wasn’t even the best part of the evening. The “Are you kidding me?!” moment of the night came earlier when Nate Quarry and Kalib Starnes slugged it out. Of course, that was only when Starnes wasn’t running away and Quarry wasn’t practicing his dance moves.

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Bantams seek first perfect season in college baseball history. Wait, what the hell is a Bantam?



I’m a miniature chicken, you moron!

Everyone thought they were going to see a perfect season in the NFL, but the Giants kept the Patriots from putting the Super Bowl cherry on top of a 16-0 regular season record. Memphis was oh-so close to perfection in college basketball this season, losing just one regular season game and then making it all the way through the NCAA Tournament before falling to Kansas in a frantic final. Well, believe it or not, we’ve got another team looking at perfection: the Trinity College Bantams.

At 27-0, the small private college in Hartford is getting increasingly close to something believed to be unprecedented in modern college baseball.

No team has won a national championship without losing a game, to be sure; but Trinity, which competes in N.C.A.A. Division III, could become the first college of any size to finish its regular season and conference tournament having won every game. Such records are not officially monitored, an N.C.A.A. spokesman said, but an examination of previous top teams’ final records suggested it was unlikely that any had done that before.

Next month’s N.C.A.A. regionals and the Division III national championships could trip up Trinity. But if the Bantams win Tuesday night against Eastern Connecticut State, a perennial national power and their toughest regular-season opponent, running the table will be a step closer for a team that has throttled opponents by a combined score of 260-64.

Got that?! Forget the Spurs vs. Suns; Trinity against Eastern Connecticut State is where the magic’s happening tonight. There’s always Game 3, but you only get one shot at 28-0.

Links:

[NYTimes. com]: In Sport Filled With Flaws, a Chase for Perfection