all-other-sports
The Wimbledon folks are either stupid or in denial about what constitutes good tennis. Starting this year, skimpy outfits that are too low-cut or sexy will be banned from the court. We understand that womens tennis is a sport and not a fashion shoot but why would you ban the only reason why lots of men (and women) watch tennis at all?
We don’t really have much to say about this issue except 1) it’s bad and 2) here’s another photo of Maria Sharapova.
Links:
[Sun UK]: Setsy things to cover up
The French newspaper Le Monde is reporting that while being treated for testicular cancer, Lance Armstrong admitted to his doctor that he had taken banned performance enhancing drugs.
Armstrong’s alleged admission was made Oct. 28, 1996, to a doctor who was treating him for cancer. Betsy Andreu testified that the doctor asked Armstrong whether he had ever taken doping products, and that the cyclist replied “yes,” according to Le Monde. The newspaper said she and her husband were with Armstrong on that day.“He asks which ones. And Lance replies, ‘EPO, growth hormones, cortisone, steroids, testosterone,”‘ it quoted her as telling the court in January.
Meanwhile, Armstrong’s lawyer called the charges absurd and one of his doctor’s that treated him for cancer said that he and other colleagues visited armstrong the day before his treatment and no such admission was made. Amstrong himself said in a November deposition that no doctor had asked him about taking doping products and that Betsy Andreu is making it up because she hates him.
Why is it that allegations of cheating always come up from the French newspapers. Look, Armstrong kicked your ass 7 times. He’s retired now. Get over it.
Links:
[MSNBC]: French newspaper says ex-Tour king told doctor in ’96 he had taken drugs
ESPN would like to remind you that the World Cup is not the only “world” event happening. There’s also Dominoes motherf#@%cker! It’s as if the progamming directors at the Worldwide Leader in Hype saw the Chappelles show skit on the World Series of Dice, thought it was a real event, and decided to sign up dominoes asap. Check out The Garlic’s Top Ten Cloves: Things About ESPN Televising Dominoes Events.
In other news…
[eBay]: Ben Roethlisberger Replica Motorcycle Helmet!
[MSNBC]: Branch skips Pats’ mandatory minicamp
[Seattle PI]: Poll: 78% say “more inclined (to) let the Sonics leave Seattle”
[BBC]: The greatest World Cup legends
[ESPN]: Royals revoke credentials from two reporters for asking tough questions
At an exhibition match against Jim Courier on the senior circuit, John McEnroe got upset about a call and dropped his pants and mooned everyone. Page Six also reported that tennis starlet Anna Kournikova was in the audience and witnessed the bare ass. Now, this is why Page Six shouldn’t report on sports news. Nobody has uttered the term tennis and Anna Kournikova together in a long long time.
Why is it that the people we don’t want to see naked always end up dropping their pants?
[MSNBC]: If America promises to watch the World Cup, will she pose nude?
[Yahoo]: Did Mike Vanderjagt really just put himself in the same sentence with Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods? Damn idiot kicker.
[News and Observer]: Duke lacrosse team reinstated with new rules and tighter (i.e. any) oversight.
[NY Daily News]: Milledge doesn’t regret high-fiving fans after his first HR
[Off Wing Opinion]: The Oilers are so screwed
[Philly.com]: Former umpire Gregg, 55, dies after stroke
On Tuesday, we told you about a fight in a New Zealand bar that lead to All Blacks captain Tama Umaga hitting teammate Chris Masoe in the head with a handbag. Well, now the woman who owns the handbag is auctioning it off on a New Zealand auction site. But wait, there’s more! If you bid right now, you also get the cellphone that was broken in the fight!
The highest legitimate bid right now is $94,000NZD or about $53,000 US. Not bad at all for a cheap handbag and a useless cellphone. At one point during the auction, fake bids had it over $100,000,000. As always, with these kind of auctions, the smartasses.. er.. smartarses come out to ask questions. The best one? “Is there any guarantee that hitting someone with this will make them cry?” The poor guy will never live that down.
Links:
[TV NZ]: Bidding for handbag turns farcical
Proving that you can bet on anything, the folks over at some random gambling site have posted odds on the National Spelling Bee.
Will the Winner be a Male or Female?
Male -140
Female +120
Will the Winner be Home Schooled?
Yes +200
No -250
Will the Winner be from California, New York, or Texas?
Yes +400
No -700
Will the Winner be from Indiana, Ohio, or Pennsylvania?
Yes +350
No -600
Will the Winner be from Canada?
Yes +2000
No -3000
Length of the winning word:
Over 9 ½ letters -145
Under 9 ½ letters +125
Will the winning word contain the letter `E’?
Yes -230
No +190
Will the winning word end with `E’, `S’, `T’, or `D’?
Yes -135
No +115
Last year, the winner was a 13 year old boy from California and the winning word was “appoggiatura”. And if you think that will help you determine what to bet this year, you should probably call someone for help with your gambling problem.
New Zealand All Blacks player Chris Masoe and his team captain Tama Umaga were in a bar in Christchurch at 7:00 in the morning when Masoe tripped over a man’s legs and then got up and punched him in the jaw.
Umaga then grabbed a woman’s handbag and hit Masoe twice across the head, at which Masoe allegedly burst into tears.
What?! So instead of restraining his teammate, Umaga decides the best way to calm him down would be to hit him with a handbag. Well, it worked.
We’re trying to reconcile the bursting into tears like a little girl (second part added) with this video of the All Blacks intimidating their opponents with a traditional Maori war chant, which is incredibly badass.
Links:
[BBC]: All Black fined for handbag brawl
They’re making the rest of us look bad. Rex Cooper, an 81 year old, bowled a perfect game at the Simi Valley’s Brunswick Valley Bowl. Why are there so many stories of old guys bowling perfect games and hitting holes in one? It’s probably God’s way of rewarding them for living so long.
In other news…
[NY Post] Speaking of old guys… Larry Brown goes to work.
[Miami Herald]: FSU rescinds basketball scholarship from recruit who was arrested for having cocaine “in the crack of his buttocks”.
[YAY Sports]: Why does Dirk Nowitzki have shaved pits?
[NOLA]: NBA awards New Orleans All-Star Game for 2008
[Jes Gobez]: Edmonton fans drinking up all the beer
[The Baseball Journals]: How the $450 million sale of the Nationals equals $100 million
Oh.. don’t get in an uproar over the headline. We’re actually pulling hard for Barbaro here at Sportscolumn. It’s not often anything with Philly ties is a champion. We’re simply referring to the pre and post-surgery x-rays below from the the vet who performed the surgery. Dr. Dean Richardson said that while it would be months before Barbaro can be declared saved but the colt is doing very well.
Every day the risk diminishes, every day that goes by makes me happy if he has no complications. It is better. If we have this press conference in two weeks, and I’m saying the same mundane things, I would be happy, I’d be happier. Every day that goes by that things remain the same is very good.
If you’re trying to count, the official number is 27 screws.
Links:
[Louisville Courier Journal]: Barbaro “doing very well” during recovery
[UPenn]: Hi-res photos of Barbaro x-rays
You know what the problem with kids is today? They’re making the rest of us look bad. In march, a 10-year-old kid bowled a perfect game in league play and now a 7-year-old boy has swam from Alcatraz to San Francisco in 47 minutes.
Braxton Bilbrey read about a 9-year-old who accomplished the feat and wanted to do it himself. His coach said he’s just an average kid but had “the determination and mental toughness to swim cold, dark, choppy water” and trained for 2 hours a day, 4 times a week. Meanwhile, this is what most of us were doing at age 7.
Links:
[SF Gate]: Boy, 7, swims from Alcatraz to SF
[AZ Central]: Alcatraz breakout: Boy seeks record
