Category: All Other Sports

all-other-sports

Categories
All Other Sports

Countdown to UFC 71: Terry Martin vs. Ivan Salaverry

You might not recognize the name Terry Martin right off the bat, but you are probably familiar with some of his work. Like this performance, for example:

To say that Martin has struggled in the UFC would be an understatement but the guy does have an overall record of 17-2. Unfortunately, those two losses came on the biggest MMA stage in the world and neither of them were what you would consider to be pretty losses. But the guy did deliver a TKO to Jorge Rivera in 14 seconds at UFC 67. However, while Martin is blessed with some fierce fists that are as heavy as bricks, he lacks the all-around talent that is crucial for UFC success. That’s exactly what makes his match-up against the well rounded veteran Ivan Salaverry so interesting.

Salaverry has an overall record of 12-4-1 but his UFC career has been up and down, which means this could be one of the last opportunities for an aging Salaverry (36) to move up in the middleweight ranks. Throw in a little smack from Martin during a recent Q&A and we have all the makings of a great brawl.

Q: Thoughts on upcoming opponent, Ivan Salaverry?

A: I’m gonna knock `Billie Jean’ out.

Q: Why is Billie Jean his nickname?

A: Because I looked at him fight and he dances around the ring.

Prediction: Martin wins by KO

Links:

[UFC.com]: UFC 71: Liddell vs. Jackson

Categories
All Other Sports

Ferret legging: the worst idea for a sport since the WNBA



Exactly what you want near your boys

We first stumbled upon this story on wikipedia and thought it was some sort of hoax entry. But it turns out “ferret legging” is a real but obscure sport from England. In his book “The King of Ferret Leggers and Other True Stories”, Donald Katz chronicles the sport and profiles the 72-year-old champion of ferrett legging.


Basically, the contest involves the tying of a competitor’s trousers at the ankles and the subsequent insertion into those trousers of a couple of peculiarly vicious fur-coated, footlong carnivores called ferrets. The brave contestant’s belt is then pulled tight, and he proceeds to stand there in front of the judges as long as he can, while animals with claws like hypodermic needles and teeth like number 16 carpet tacks try their damnedest to get out.

Yes, this is as horrible as it sounds. And the contestants don’t wear any protective cups, which means it’s just completely insane.

Links:
[Random House]: The King of the Ferret Leggers and Other True Stories

Categories
All Other Sports

Another sport for the Redneck Games: bowfishing

These guys are definitely not the catch and release type but they actually have invented a sport that’s rather clever. You have jumping carp, and bow and arrows — why not shoot them? We’re ashamed to admit it but it looks like a lot of fun. We’re rather surprised though that these guys were smart enough to attach fishing line to the arrows instead of just wasting each one. The twilight effect with the glowing arrows is especially cool.

You know it’s just a matter of time before a local newspaper reports on a fisherman with an arrow through his ass though.

Categories
All Other Sports

Countdown to UFC 71: Josh Burkman vs. Karo Parisyan

Josh Burkman is an up-n-comer in the welterweight division but he is going to have his hands full with UFC veteran Karo “The Heat” Parisyan. With a 24-4-0 record under his belt, Parisyan is one of the best fighters to never make it into the championship spotlight but with a victory on Saturday he could become the number one contender for Matt Serra’s belt. And you know that Parisyan is just dying to step back into the octagon with Serra again after he defeated the now champ, then chump by unanimous decision at UFC 53. With Diego Sanchez finally losing the first MMA fight of his career, Josh Koscheck is the only welterweight who could challenge for the title shot. But we’re getting way ahead of ourselves with all this title talk surrounding Parisyan because Burkman (or as he’s known on the streets: “The People’s Warrior”) is going to be looking to throw a monkey wrench into those plans; after all, he’s no greenhorn with an impressive 19-3 record to go along with some mad wrestling skills to combat Parisyan’s judo know-how. But in the end, we just can’t see Burkman putting out The Heat like white hot superstars Sanchez and Georges St. Pierre did in the past.

Prediction: Parisyan wins by decision

And if things don’t work out for Karo then we think we might have found an excellent rebound opponent in one Reggie Warren.

Prediction: Parisyan wins by KO

Links:

[UFC.com]: UFC 71: Liddell vs. Jackson

Categories
All Other Sports

Countdown to UFC 71: Kalib Starnes vs. Chris Leben & Houston Alexander vs. Keith Jardine



Are we the only ones who are sick
of this guy?

If you are like us then you can’t wait until Saturday night when Chuck Liddell takes on Quinton Jackson for the world light heavyweight championship belt. So, in preparation for the big fight, we are going to be conducting a bout by bout rundown of the card for UFC 71: Liddell vs. Jackson.

Kalib Starnes vs. Chris Leben

In the battle of the reality TV stars, former participants in The Ultimate Fighter, Kalib Starnes (9-2-1) and Chris Leben (16-3-0) will hook it up to see which loser can beat the other loser. Both of these guys annoyed the hell out of us during their tapings of the show but we have to admit that Leben’s red hair and crybaby attitude had us a little more riled up. As in we were wanting to hop in the octagon with the guy. Still, he’s a tough kid who can throw a hell of a punch and he’s had nearly five full months to recover mentally from a pair of beatings that he received in ’06 that included a 49 second KO from the current milddleweight champ Anderson Silva.

Starnes is a well rounded fighter who can box, wrestle and go jiu-jitsu on your ass. He might be able to stand up with Leben for a while but he’ll have a much better chance of trying to get past “The Crippler’s” sprawl and taking the fight to the mat.

Prediction: Starnes wins by submission

Houston Alexander vs. Keith Jardine

We gotta admit that we know basically nothing about Houston Alexander other than he appears to be a brawler who goes 6’0″ tall and is 35 years old with a record of 6-1. But we do know about his opponent, and he has been on an absolute tear in the UFC of late. Keith “The Dean of Mean” Jardine has a 12-3-1 record in the world of MMA and has gone an impressive 4-1 in his UFC bouts. His most recent fight was against the UFC’s favorite up-n-comer Forrest Griffin who he TKO’d in the first round of UFC 66. Jardine can brawl with the best of `em but, in addition, he has some excellent kickboxing skills to go along with it. Throw in the fact that he’s accustomed to being in the UFC spotlight while it will be his opponent’s first time in the big league and it all adds up to a decided Jardine advantage.

Prediction: Jardine wins by decision

Links:

[UFC.com]: UFC 71: Liddell vs. Jackson

Categories
All Other Sports

Another fat guy thinks he’s a pro wrestler

We don’t usually bring you news from the world of pro wrestling; especially those crappy fringe promotions that are diluted with dreams of becoming the next WWE or TNA, but it’s hard to ignore a wrestler who is six feet tall and weight in at 600+ pounds. That’s right, we said over 600 pounds! That should make Rosie O’Donnell feel a little bit better about her girth.

Mike Stanco, oops, we mean Maximum Capacity has big dreams (could they be of any other variety?) of making it to the elite level in sports entertainment and he seems to think that his fat gut and saggy titties are just the gimmick to get his foot in the door. But if you’re one of those people who think that Jeff Gordon or Phil Helmuth are closer to being true “athletes” than greased up pro wrestlers, then this guy probably isn’t going to be the one to change you mind. Just listen to fat boy’s diet:

In one day, I know I’ve eaten more than 20,000 calories easy. I may have a McDonald’s meal where I’ll have four double cheeseburgers, two large fries and a 20-piece [McNuggets]. That’s about 4,000 calories. Then if you get a bag of chips and a thing of juice, that’s another 2,000.

Hey, at least he threw some juice in there. But regardless of his poor diet or lack of experience or lack of athletic ability or menial talent or…(should we go on?), Maximum Capacity seems to think that he’s the best big man to ever step through the ropes.

I’m not trying to be conceited, but I believe I’m the best big man this business has ever seen. Better than Yokozuna, Andre [the Giant], Big Show and all those guys. None of those guys are able to move the way I do inside the ring.

Here, you be the judge:

Personally, we think that those guys’ legacies are all pretty safe. But if Maximum Capacity keeps up his McDonald’s diet then he could challenge this tub of lard for the most disturbing story of poor health in the history of civilization.

Links:

[Sun-Sentinel.com]: His 600 pounds are weighing heavily on wrestler `Maximum Capacity’ Stanco
[MaxCapacity.com]: Maximum Capacity Home Page

Categories
All Other Sports

This Floyd Landis case is out of control


What was supposed to be a small (medium sized?) cheating case in the Tour de France has turned into a year long ordeal by Floyd Landis to find the real killers dopers. Well, that’s not all folks, it’s time to mix in a little blackmail and sex.

According to reports, Greg LeMond (legendary cyclist for you youngins) had a phone conversation with Landis where Landis leaned towards an admission of performance enhancing drug use. LeMond then confided to Landis that he was sexually abused as a child by his uncle.

But it doesn’t end there. The night prior to LeMond’s testimony at the Floyd Landis hearing, someone called LeMond cell claiming to be his uncle and said “they would play hide the weenie tomorrow”. Well, there goes thousands of dollars in therapy out the window. The cell phone call was traced back to Will Geohagen, Landis’ friend and manager. Geohagen admitted making the call and was promptly fired by Landis.

Obviously, LeMond was not happy about this painful childhood memory being a matter of public record and lashed out at Landis and his crew:


It was a real threat, it was real creepy, and I think it shows the extent of who it is,” LeMond said before leaving the Pepperdine law school after his spellbinding day. “I think there’s another side of Floyd that the public hasn’t seen.

Actually, the public doesn’t want to see another side of Floyd Landis. The public would like Landis and his A sample s and B samples and urine to just go away. Permanently.

(Photo note: when we think child molestation, we think Gordon Jump.)

Links:
[Steroid Nation]: Landis friend admits making threatening call to LeMond

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: Gay lacrosse coach fired for sucking


Missouri has declined to renew the contract of their openly gay men’s lacrosse coach because of his job performance. Kyle Hawkins has been the coach for nine years but only out of the closet for one year. Since it’s a club sport, the decision was made by the team itself. Hawkins said he was informed of the decision in a meeting with team leaders, an assistant coach and a university official. Team president Andy Mackley said that the sexual orientation of the coach had no bearing on the decision, rather, it was made because the team did not feel he was the best man for the job.

Hawkins said he would not pursue any legal action but did add that the reasons for his dismissal were “laughable. A week and a half before the meeting, they had sat in front of the ESPN cameras and said what a great coach I was.”

In other news…

[Inside Bay Area]: Santa Clara announcer fired because he’s not funny.

[WCBS]: Dad ran onto Fenway Park to impress his son. Because jail time is totally impressive.

[Star Telegram]: Cuban vs Trump round 2

[Tennessean]: Feeling a little inadequate about something? You can buy the JumboTron from Nashville Arena.

[SI]: Two 6-foot-7 twins. Perhaps they can date this guy.

And finally, here are the 10 most undeserving MVPs. and yes, Dirk Nowitzki is on this list.

Categories
All Other Sports

"The boys took a beatin on that one"

First off, we apologize to everyone who lost their lunch watching this video last week. But that’s not going to stop us from posting another terrible injury. Don’t be afraid to watch it though, it’s more funny pain than horrific pain. And you must have the sound on full volume to fully appreciate the clip.

It’s not often you get to hear the moment when future generations are all destroyed. It was like a million tiny voices crying out in unison and then suddenly silenced. Ohhh messieure!

(Hat tip: Sports By Brooks)

Categories
All Other Sports

Football player says he was cut for his religious beliefs


Troy Vermillion, a wide receiver, was cut from the Colorado Ice on April 2. According to the team, it was for performance; according to him, it was because he didn’t like naked chicks. Vermillion is a devout Christian and he recently objected to pornographic magazines on the team bus and the recent showing of Wedding Crashers (Unrated!) on a road trip.

Vermillion says he complained about the choice of movie (the other members of the team probably didn’t want to watch The Ten Commandments) and was told to put on headphones and watch another movie on his portable DVD player. When that movie ended, he asked to leave the team bus and ride with his wife (who was following the bus) instead. The head coach told him he had to stay on the bus because he was a member of the team.

Vermillion said that his playing time was cut that game and for subsequent games until he was released:


It’s all because I stood up. If I would have taken that movie to an office and made everyone sit and watch it, I would be fired. So why is it OK for a football team to do it? I didn’t want to bend my faith.

He’s actually got a good point there. Vermillion claims he won’t the sue team but he’s got a pretty good hostile workplace environment case if he wants to pursue it.

Links:
[Denver Post]: WR disputes release by Ice