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Dallas Cowboys

Report: TO tried to kill himself


Update: Deion Sanders is reporting that he has spoken to TO and that Owens laughed off the reports of a suicide attempt and that it was simply a bad reaction to the pain medication.

Last night, the news was that TO was rushed to the hospital to induce vomiting because he had an allergic reaction to pain pills. Well, today, a very different story is coming out of Dallas. According to various reports, TO actually tried to kill himself by taking 35 pills.

TO’s publicist was the one who made the phone call to the police but now she is saying that it was not as serious as reported and that his answer of “yes” when asked whether he had tried to hurt himself was taken out of context and that TO was still groggy. We’ll see how the spin on this thing is going to go.

The Dallas Police Department just had a news conference where they stated that the incident they responded to was not a criminal act but a medical one therefore no more information would be forthcoming from the DPD. However, the Smoking Gun has released a copy of the police report from last night.

Links:
[Star-Telegram]: T.O. tried suicide, report says
[CBS11 TV]: DPD Report Says Owens Attempts Suicide

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Dallas Cowboys

Dancing with Emmitt Smith


So it looks like Dancing with the Stars has made “retired football star” as part of their casting list. After Jerry Rice last year, we get Emmitt Smith this year. We can see it now. In a critical dance off vs Jerry Springer, Emmitt pretends to have a career ending injury and has to be carried off the stage by his dance partner and trainers. Then, in a stunning turn of events, he miraculously makes it back onto the stage and wins the event. What a hero. What a fighter…

Other “celebrities” will be Vivica A. Fox, harry Hamlin, Willa Ford, Joe (not Joey) Lawrence, and AC Slater from Saved by the Bell.

Links:
[ESPN]: Emmitt Smith to compete in ‘Dancing With the Stars’

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Dallas Cowboys

Is TO importing his own cheerleaders?



Yes.. now I recognize her

Elaine: What is so appealing to men about a cat fight?
Jerry: Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other there’s a chance they might somehow kiss.

Terrell Owens has been named in a civil court motion as a witness to a bar fight in East Dallas. According to court records, an ex-Eagles cheerleader named Tara Smith attacked a woman named Christi Proctor at the Candle Room, punching her in the mouth and pushing her down. Owens has been named in the motion because he knew her and might have invited Tara Smith to the bar.

Tara Smith was an Eagles cheerleader when Owens was in Philly and all of the sudden she’s in Dallas? Maybe the only thing TO was missing from Philly was his very own cheerleader.

Links:
[Phila Daily News]: T.O. named witness in bar fight involving ex-cheerleader

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Dallas Cowboys

The Luckiest Unlucky Cowboy

Perhaps God is just messing with Keith Davis, a Dallas Cowboys free safety. Early Sunday morning, Davis was shot in the head and the leg during a drive-by shooting but he’s in stable condition after surgery and is doing fine. Police think the shooting was an attempted carjacking because of Davis’ pimped out Chevy Impala.

This isn’t the first time he’s been shot. A couple of years ago, he was shot three times outside of a strip club. He was an innocent bystander but was released anyway because Bill Parcells has an anti-strip club policy. Talk about insult to injury.

In any case, I wouldn’t want to be going up against Keith Davis on the field. After being shot in the head and surviving, he must feel like he’s invinceable — there’s no question what he could do on the field. Hell, we’re predicting a Terrell Owens – Keith Davis lockerroom fight right now.

Oh and may we suggest that Davis start driving a minivan or a Plymouth Reliant. “Who’s gonna carjack your fuckin’ K-Car?”

Links:
[Star Telegram]: Cowboys’ Davis shot twice, but recovering

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Dallas Cowboys

TO misquoted in his own book



Hero

Remember when Charles Barkley claimed he was misquoted in autobiography and then blamed himself? (“That was my fault. I should have read it before it came out.”) Ahhhh Sir Charles, with a wit as large as his behind. T.O. will never be Charles Barkley — though he’s trying his best.

TO said that the line in his book about his return from a broken leg to play in the Super Bowl, “If you’ll forgive me for saying so … nothing short of heroic”, was something thought up by his co-writer, Jason Rosenhaus and that he never used the term heroic.

Of course, those familiar with the saga of TO will remember that it was Chris Berman who first used the term in his Al-Jazeera interview with TO in the midst of the whole suspension fiasco last year. It was such a fluff interview that it seemd like Drew Rosenhaus wrote the questions for Berman.

And now back to the Century 21 presents baseball’s Verizon call of the day on ESPN with special guest announcer Mickey Mouse.

Links:
[MSNBC]: 2004 comeback was ‘heroic,’ T.O. writes

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Details on T.O.’s new book

The official release date of the new T.O. book is July 29th but the Philly media already has some advance copies of it for review. (We’re still waiting for ours…) Here are some details from the book. Most of it apparently deals with his relationship with McNabb.

  • Owens says that McNabb is a hyprocite and a weak leader.
  • Owens wronged by McNabb, arbitrator Richard Bloch, and Andy Reid.
  • Owens says McNabb was jealous of his popularity in Philadelphia. “I was getting so much of the Philadelphia glory that used to be his,” Owens said.
  • T.O. felt his comeback from suspension was derailed by McNabb. “Then Donovan added salt to the wound,” Owens writes, “by coming out and saying the Eagles would be better off without me. Donovan’s statement created a public ultimatum for Coach Reid. Left with no choice, Coach Reid suspended me for the season.”
  • His change of heart about this contract was because Randy Moss was going to get $18M in guaranteed money while he was getting only $2.3M.

There should be plenty of fireworks on October 8th when the Cowboys play the Eagles in Philadelphia. The investment that ESPN made in letting TO run rampant on their network last year isn’t paying off. The game will be on Fox.

Links:
[NBC10]: Owens Trashes McNabb In New Book
[Philly.com]: Owens is back with enough gripes to fill a book

[Early Word]: First Look at Terrell Owens’ New Book

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Dallas Cowboys

How much money does T.O. need?

We can understand the books and the rap song. Well, we can’t really understand it… but they both feed T.O.’s massive ego. But how much crap does Owens have to sell to feed his family? We thought that he got his money from Dallas? Does he really need to sell Terrell Owens Custom White Stadium Cup’s [sic]? What crony does he have running his site?



Our homemade TO cup: Free!

Here’s a list of the stuff TO is selling.

  • T.O. rap song download (up to 5!) or CD single for $3.99: Only if we were forced to either listen to this or the Black Eyed Peas. And it’d be damn close. (To clarify, we think the BEP have set hip hop back 40 years.) How many songs do you think the web site has sold? 1? During testing?
  • T.O. vintage 2004 wall calendar for $5.00: You’ve got to be kidding me.

  • Ten (10) blue and white bracelets that either have Destination Miami or Getcha Popcorn Ready #81 for $10.00: We’ll admit that if we were Cowboys fans, this wouldn’t be so bad.

  • Terrell Owens 3″ Eagles figurine for $9.99: There must still be an Eagles fan out there who doesn’t know about the T.O. debacle and is dumb enough to buy this.

  • T.O. 16 oz white stadium cup for $10.00 : Oh but look, you can preorder a 22 oz stadium cup for the same price! Hot damn that’s a bargain. Or if you’re a real T.O. fan, you can order his FAN CLUB PACKAGE for $59. For an additional $49, you get a hat (which you can’t get anywhere else!), a download of his rap song, and ummmmm… a chance to win a trip to meet and greet T.O. in Dallas. Actually, this might not be so bad. Considering no one will buy this, your chances of getting to Dallas and punching T.O. in the head might be pretty good. Then again, there are plenty of morons out there.

We’re dying to know how much of this crap T.O. has sold. And why.

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Rap is officially dead: Urologist "battles" T.O.

You thought the Jay-Z vs Nas battle was classic? You haven’t heard anything yet. A 42-year-old urologist from Moorestown NJ (Eagles territory) has released a rap in response to T.O.’s rap dissing the Eagles. Just when we thought this couldn’t get any worse, we have not one, but two people stepping up to defend the Iggles.

First we had this guy rapping over TO’s rap. And now we have Just a Fool. If it’s one thing we learned from Kevin Federline, it’s people with no flow shouldn’t rap. Although we have to admit that this couplet is pretty good:


But goodness’ sake I doubt I’m mistaken
You’re gonna wind up with more concussions than Aikman

OK, it’s not very good but we’re using a very low bar here.

Links:
[Early Word]: Urologist’s Rap Rips T.O.

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

TO raps about his favorite player

I mentioned this yesterday but I did the unthinkable and transcribed TO’s lyrics for you.  I wonder who he’s talking about when he says “To the hater who said I wouldn’t get my money.”  I don’t think McNabb ever said this but I could be wrong.

Here’s the mp3 of the song if any of you Cowboys fans want to download it to your iPod. Keep it in there for a couple of years and then let me know if it doesn’t cause you to want to kill Jerry Jones for bringing TO to Dallas by 2008.


I’m back and I’m better than ever
I’m back and I’m getting this cheddar
I’m back and this time I’m a cowboy
And I got em saying wow boy
I am back with a vengeance
I’m back on a mission
Got the recipe brah
So I’m back in the kitchen
Try to take me out the game
People saying I’m missing
Got the whole world’s undivided attention
It’s a brand new year
Got a brand new team
I’m a cowboy now
No more black and green
And To the hater who said I wouldn’t get my money
I’m laughing in your face ha ha that’s funny
When it comes to this game
I’m the best on the field
Some said I was gonna sign just a one year deal
But I got what I wanted up front $10 Mil
Change the rules of the game so now how you feel
See when I work my magic
When I get that rock
I dominate like Shaq when he down on the block
And this’ll probably be my best season by far
No more get my eagle on, meet me at the star

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

This time TO is a cowboy and he’s got em saying wow boy



Get em while he’s still a Cowboy

In case you were too busy reloading your bracket to even venture out into other sports news, Terrell Owens is now a Dallas Cowboy. He signed a 3 year contract worth $25M with a $5M signing bonus. So much for the consensus thinking that no team would give TO a big contract. Talent trumps everything in the NFL.

There’s basically three reactions to this.

1) Eagles fans say good riddance and hope that TO destroys the Cowboys team while secretly fearing that this makes the Cowboys legitimate Super Bowl contenders.
2) Cowboys fans trying to figure out whether this deal with the devil will ultimately be worth it.
3) Fans around the league marveling how TO and Rosenhaus managed to get exactly what they wanted and finagle all that money out of Jerry Jones.

By the way, I’m not completely retarded. The title of this entry is the refrain from TO’s rap on his website. A prime example of why athletes shouldn’t rap. You can’t rhyme cowboy with “wow boy” and expect anyone to take it seriously.

Oh, and you can already get TO Cowboys gear. When TO signed with Philly, his jersey instantly became the #1 seller in the league. Last year, everyone had to burn their TO jerseys. I wonder if Cowboys fans will jump right in and buy em or wait a while in case TO blows up again.