Author: Vin

-Welcome to the Blockbuster Total Access CBS NFL Today CSI Miami Halftime Show sponsored by Chevy Trucks and Fed Ex! Now we have to listen to Shannon Sharpe who has a Dr. Scholl’s shoe insert for a tongue. Bring on the Purple One already! By the way, what weighs more, Prince or one of Booger McFarland’s thighs?

-A man really shouldn’t be able to make a noise like Prince just made… unless he actually is burning to death. I know this is mean but I really want to see a dancer fall on her ass. It’s actually amazing they can pull this off on a stage that wet.

-Uh…. just as I thought “All Along the Watchtower” was weird, Prince just launched into the Foo Fighters’ “Best of You”. Am I high? Now Prince is doing Purple Rain. I’m so confused. How the hell did “Best of You” get into this medley?

– Woooo… thank goodness that’s over. Halftime shows are completely useless. The only way that would have been good at all was if Prince broke out his assless jeans again.

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0:02 Lovie Smith just earned a nice bonus from the CBS marketing team for calling that timeout to freeze Adam Vinatieri. And it apparently works cause Vinatieri misses barely left. Unlucky FG try #13. And that will end a wild and wet first half. See you on the flip side.

It only took an hour and a half for Lays, Tostitos and Doritos to remind us that Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith are black. Always good when corporations take advantage of “celebrating” race to promote their products.

1:18 Forget what I said about not as much action in the 2nd quarter as in the first. Now Rex Grossman fumbles it right back to the Colts. This is officially the most bizarre Super Bowl ever.

2:00 The Colts probably don’t want to go to halftime since they’re in such a good rhythm. It feels like this quarter is faster but maybe that’s because there haven’t been as much action. If the Colts pick up this first down, expect Manning to take em all the way to the endzone… unless…uh… Fletcher fumbles the ball.

Connectile dysfunction – I hate when that happens.

I’ve already immediately forgotten this heart healthy commercial and I know it’s a good cause and it’s probably a good time to remind people that they can’t gorge themselves on wings and ribs and nachos and pizza and expect their tickers to hold up… but… this is the Super Bowl and we’re all partying. Why harsh our mellow?

6:15 Where is the vaunted Bears defense? Even in these sloppy conditions, the Colts seem to be able to move at will. Rhodes crashes into the endzone and the Colts take the lead. Time to see what Rex Grossman’s got. Will Lovie Smith trust him in the rain or will there be a heavy dose of Thomas Jones now that Cedric Benson is dinged up and questionable for his return.

Careerbuilder continues their string of good commercials with everyone falling off the cliff like lemmings. Meanwhile, this Doritos commercial is horrible. No one wants to see ugly people in commercials. No one. CBS is saying screw youtube and will post all the commercials on their site after the game.

11:38 Indianapolis settles for the FG and they are now down 9-14. By the way that last sentence was typed before Adam actually kicked the ball. He’s that automatic.

The Super Bowl is so dominated by beer commercials that it’s hard to remember whether it was for Budweiser, Miller or another beer. I think that’s called noise.

15:00 After that wild first quarter, you kinda expect things to settle down a little bit. Colts are threatening quickly though.

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0:00 Thank God the first quarter is over. Time to take a breather before we start the 2nd Quarter live blog.

3:05 Cedric Benson fumbles the ball on a Bob Sanders hit. This has to be a record of turnovers in a first quarter of a Super Bowl.

Wow… this Chevy commercial where different people sing a bunch of songs should be shot so we can be put out of our misery. Oh and Carlos Mencia, Paul Rodriguez called, he wants his jokes back.

4:34 Bears score as Sexy Rexy hits Mushin Muhammad for a TD. Well, this first quarter is certainly living up to the hype. It’s completely in an unexpected fashion but there hasn’t been a lack of action in this one.

6:43 Colts get a huge break as the Bears fumble on the kickoff…. and before I can even finish typing, Joseph Addai fumbles it right back to the Bears.

6:50 So much for that wet and windy conditions affecting the passing game. Peyton was almost sacked and still completed a 53 yard TD to wide open Reggie Wayne.

But…apparently the wet and windy conditions do affect the kicking game as the Colts botch the extra point. This might not affect the outcome of the game but gamblers are pissed.

Fedex commercial on the moon was weak. Not nearly as good as the Fedex prehistoric ad that was so great. Bud Light auction wedding was great though.

9:19 Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson are the bigger names but Joseph Addai might end up being the MVP if the Colts win this. It wouldn’t be the first time. Antowain Smith outplayed Marshall Faulk, Michael Pittman outplayed Charlie Garner…

Salesgenie.com officially gets the “Biggest Waste of Money” award for that piece of crap of a commercial. That was something you could see on TV at 3am in the morning. How did they just spend over $2M on airing that?

13:13 Third time’s the charm as Peyton gets intercepted after three attempts to do so.

So far the commercials are lame. Throwing a cell phone at someone as an “anti-theft device” is funny. Throwing a rock to get a beer isn’t.

15:00 Here we go folks… and in 12 seconds the Bears take the lead on a Hester kickoff return for a TD. Wow.