Author: Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker isn’t the best rap lyricist

We didn’t even realize that Tony Parker was getting his MC Solaar on (anyone else old enough to remember Solaar?) but his rap single, Balance Toi, is blazing up the charts in France, which means it’s somewhere below Hall and Oates latest single in the U.S.   Here’s the music video of the song. You’d think there’d be a couple of sex scenes with Eva but nooooooo.. it’s just Tony hanging out at a club.

Thanks to Babelfish, here’s what Tony is saying:


Very soft I have my style
The rap borer in the tanks
Ca will hurt
And I avalle my pure style
The public claims me
And I assume serious
Lady… Lady… Lady… Lady… Lady…
(tony.P…)
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance
Oh baby go…
(Let’ S go)
You thinks that are ready for you baby
Ca makes boom boom in the baby club
Oh yes moves on the zic lady
Cool Tony.P and smoove
I apply
Hey Hey
DJ balances sauce like hab’
To like for glory I make it like hab’
Let slip when it is open bar
To thread well before two hours of a quarter
The ball has face it is the price
All these girl which me “ppss”
Baby you can to me éscorter for this night
Baby I have déja my wife for the life
Oké, have you evil to follow me
But which even follows me
Musical therapy
Tony.P from Texas in Paris
Want lie down with
Oh please

Refrain:
Go ahead balances itself of left on the right
I have the style which hurts
Go ahead balance you of left on the right
Tony.P with the fichal
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Balance, Balance, Balance, Balance Oh
Oh baby go…
Check my Hip-Hop always with the signal
My flora notches there
Rap is my job, stop
Jump and jumpé jump hop
Tony.P with the star r’ B hop
Baby stops to a little are limited you
Baby stops a little me matter
Lady be charming for you and you know it
But knows that only environment with test
KOI new the snoop-dog in the enclosures
KOI you want dancer, nan it is not the sorrow
ME I remain quite sitted in the sofa
who makes the valve while raising the arms
Bring the girls in the V.I.P
Want you to sleep with
Oh please
– Refrain
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady… Lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady……… the lady
Lady… Lady…
Go ahead balances degauche on the right
I have the sweat which hurts
Overshoot runway if
do not be to you ready A to make move
your shoulders
I have this p’ tit trick destey Oh
I make my own Oh dreams
I have this sound in the head
Quickly the piece acheve leaves
Ah Ah… Tony.P
Texas Servant boy
Let’ S go…

Ummm… we think something was lost in translation.  Because  “I have the sweat which hurts” isn’t cool.

Categories
College Basketball

Greg Oden’s summer league coach conveniently decides to start sports agency


Mike Conley Sr. thinks that Greg Oden is going pro after this season. How else would you explain his decision to start a sports agency called Mac Management Group? Conley Sr. has known Oden since the sixth grade and coached him in summer basketball. In addition to Oden, Conley Sr. also coached Josh McRoberts of Duke and Buckeyes Mike Conley Jr. and Daequan Cook.


I’m not being presumptuous at all,” Conley Sr. said. “Getting into this business is not just for those individuals. I’m competitive. I want to be the best at what I do, and that’s not going to stop when I enter the sports management business.
“Hopefully I can attract and share a vision with some of the athletes I know, but also with others and move their careers forward.

Translation: I’ve known Oden all his life. If I can get him to sign with me, then I have a golden goose.

Here’s the best part:


I’ve negotiated a lot of different things. Almost everything in life is negotiated,” Conley Sr. said. “You have to know what it is you’re negotiating. You have to know when something’s a good deal. Outside of being educated about the process, the same principles exist, and that’s putting both parties in a win-win situation.

Hey listen, Mike, just because you negotiated down the price of your plasma TV at Best Buy doesn’t mean you can go up against the sharks in the NBA front offices. LeBron James fired a real agent and hired three friends and they turned out to be bumbling idiots.

Run Greg Run.

Links:
[Indy Star]: Conley Sr. starting sports representation business

Categories
NHL General

Jordin Tootoo gets five games for punching out Robidas

We filed this one under fights but it’s not much of one. Jordin Tootoo was suspended five games for a one punch knockout of Stephane Robidas. We think the NHL overreacted a little in the wake of the thuggery that’s been happening over the past couple of months. Let’s go to the video…


In reviewing this incident, Stephane Robidas appeared to be initiating a confrontation by approaching Jordin Tootoo,” NHL senior executive vice-president and director of hockey operations Colin Campbell said in a statement. “While a player is entitled to defend himself, Mr. Tootoo’s forceful blow to Robidas’ head was an overly aggressive and inappropriate response.

The fact that Mr. Tootoo’s actions resulted in an injury to his opponent also was a factor in this decision.

Exactly, Robidas was coming to plant Tootoo into the boards just because Tootoo drilled Modano with a clean hit. It wasn’t a sucker punch. It wasn’t a cheap shot. Tootoo’s instincts took over and he just swung and connected. It’s unfortunately for Robidas that he has a glass jaw but he was the aggressor in that situation. Five games seems to be a little excessive. The Predators stand by Tootoo but they will not appeal the suspension.

Oh by the way, Robidas, Chris Tucker has a message for you.

Links:
[TSN]:
NHL suspends Tootoo for five games

[Short and Fat]: Great analysis of the Tootoo punch

Categories
Soccer

Odds and Ends: They might be overestimating soccer in this country


According to a British tabloid (via the offside), the LA police are preparing a special SWAT team to be on standby during Galaxy matches in case English fans who attend his U.S. matches decide to do what English fans do, which is make NYC students look like amateurs.

We’re very skeptical that any sort of Beckhamania is going to touch off a slew of brawls and rioting at MLS games. Plus, the English fans won’t dare riot in LA. If there’s one thing LA residents know how to do, it’s riot. And of course, the LA cops are experts at controlling uprisings…

In other news…

[SignOnSanDiego]: David “fast food” Wells develops diabetes? We never saw this one coming.

[SI.com]: Iditarod racer disqualified for beating his dogs. Bob Knights says, “what’s the big deal?”

[ESPN.com]: ESPN.com chief tossed. (And yes, we hate the video that autoplays on the front door. Idiots.)

[Slate]: Duke, Eastern Kentucky, and 11 other odious schools in this year’s NCAA Tournament.

And finally, anyone who has watched sports in the past five years is sick of Subway’s Jared. But is that enough to challenge him to a fight? And if you could fight anyone from a commercial, who would you fight? We’d have to go with one of the two douchebags from the Cingular commercials.

Categories
College Football

FireKirkFerentz.com is now in the hands of The Man


It usually takes a couple of years of ineptitude for Fire____.com to show up but Iowa decided to make a preemptive strike and puchased FireKirkFerentz.com from a company that specializes in such domains. (Yes, people will speculate on anything.) Redshirted.com now has 20 domains on its “roster” including fireMikeShanahan, fireJoeGibbs, fireRomeoCrennel, and fireTony Dungy. Hmmm… We don’t think Tony Dungy is going anywhere and the Redskins faithful would never turn on Joe Gibbs. Remember, when he was hired, they guaranteed he’d bring a Super Bowl within 3 years. (Because he won it in 2 years his first time around.) That was in 2004. But we digress…

Prices range from $50 to $250 which we think is way too low for a domain name. Would a school not pay more than $1000 to keep a potentially embarassing site from being erected on the web? Plus, what’s a grand to these big name schools where boosters drop millions on new cars for the athletes?

Curiously, FireKirkFerentz.com redirects you to HawkeyeSports.com, which might seem to imply that Hawkeye Sports is somehow thinking about firing Kirk Ferentz. We think the smarter move is to redirect the site to an absolutely terrible coach so that any surfers typing in FireKirkFerentz.com would immediately think, “oh yeah, it could be worse.”

Links:
[The Wizard of Odds]: Iowa Purchases FireKirkFerentz.com

Categories
Soccer

Everybody loves it when the goalie scores

… well except the other goalie. This kind of stuff doesn’t usually happen in the premiere leagues so when Tottenham goalkeeper Paul Robinson scored on a free kick from his own end, it instantly becomes one of the most bizarre goals in EPL history. The last time a Spurs goalkeeper scored in an EPL game was 1914 on a penalty kick.

Notice the reaction from the opposing goalie Ben Foster, who is trying to unseat him as England’s #1 goalkeeper.

This isn’t the first time Paul Robinson has scored. He also made a spectacular header against Swindon when he was a goalie for Leeds United to send the game into extra time. And of course, we cannot mention goalie goals without mentioning Ron Hextall. (Yes, it’s a different sport…)

Links:
[Reuters]: Goalie Robinson scores for Spurs
[Telegraph UK]: Foster grateful for Robinson’s low-key glee

Categories
Miami Dolphins

Joey Porter punches Levi Jones in the face


A football player got arrested in an incident with a Cincinnati Bengal and it wasn’t a Bengal! Marvin Lewis certainly is turning that team around. Hell, the Bengal was even the victim.

Joey Porter, perhaps feeling disrespected, punched Levi Jones in the face at the Palms in Las Vegas yesterday. Police said that Porter was cited for battery and Levi Jones was treated at the scene. Said Las Vegas police Lt. Kevin McMahill:


Apparently these two have a history with each other, a history of trash talking on the field.

Doesn’t Joey Porter have a history with everyone? If you don’t want to get punched in the face, avoid Joey Porter like the plague. We imagine he’s like Rick James (insanity not coke) and forgets he punches people five minutes later.

Things ought to get interesting on the field this year as the Dolphins play the Bengals in Porter’s new house.

Links:
[Las Vegas Review Journal]: NFL’s Porter accused of punching rival at Palms

Categories
High School Sports

Hey Milwaukee, this is how we brawl in NYC

Brawling at basketball games is apparently the new hotness for high school kids. Remember the fight last month during a basketball game in Milwaukee? Well the kids in NYC decided to show them how it’s done during the PSAL NYC Championship between Lincoln and Boy & Girls. And of course, this was at the Garden where the NBA likes to do its brawling too.

It started with a hard foul on the court, escalated into the stands, spilled into the streets and Times Square and ended with everyone shaking their heads. To make sure that everyone knew this was NYC and not Milwaukee, someone in the crowd fired some shots. (No, Fabolous and Sebastian Telfair weren’t involved.) At last count, NYC police have made 21 arrests and beat the hell out of at least one person.

The Public Address announcer voiced what’s going through everyone’s minds when he said, “What the fuck is wrong with y’all. Come on!”

You can check out video of the brawl below. Then you can move to the suburbs.

Links:
[WCBS TV]: CBS 2 Exclusive Video: ‘March Badness’ At MSG!

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: Following up on Tonya Harding


Here’s some random news for you while you try to figure out why this has been the worst tournament opening round in recent memory. We’ll start with Tonya Harding. Her excuse for acting like a insane person recently was an adverse reaction to asthma medicaiton. Wonder if she got it from Lindsey Hunter’s wife.

In other news…

[Fox 12 Oregon]: This certainly doesn’t change the perception that Oregon is racist

[Tomorrow Land]: Weird team names from around the world

[Page Six]: Mike Tyson to help Don King promote baby diapers

[Sports by Brooks]: Rick Majerus is useless

[The Big Lead]: One theory on Pacman’s bowling alley incident we hadn’t thought of

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: AI is HUGE in Singapore

[Mike Chen’s Hockey Blog]: Geeking out on Gary Bettman

And finally…. this is at once both disturbing and amusing. Very nice… how much?

Categories
All Other Sports

What’s this? Another hot babe in the IRL?


We are very desirous that a hot babe succeed in racing… mainly because we are shallow and we like hot babes. (Sue us.) Milka Duno is that hot babe (exhibit 2, exhibit 3). Now, we don’t know a damn thing about racing but Milka’s bio is pretty impressive.


Talent, beauty and youth are just a few of the many adjectives that define the image of Milka Duno. By education and training a Naval Engineer with four master’s degrees – in Organizational Development, Naval Architecture, Maritime Business and Marine Biology – Milka earned the last three simultaneously.

As “Venezuelan Auto Racing Driver of the Year” in 2000 and “American Le Mans Series 2001 Vice Champion Driver” in the 675LMP class, Milka has attracted the attention of motorsport fans worldwide – and from influential people in the organizational and competitive areas of motorsport in the USA and Europe. In 2002 Milka became the first woman in the history of sportscar racing to pilot the fastest and most technologically-advanced sportscar in the world – the Le Mans Prototype 900, and the first woman in history to pilot the fastest car in the Open Telefonica World Series – the last step on the ladder to Formula One.

She can drive better than us and she’s smart. If she can somehow win a big race in the U.S., or better yet, release a sex tape, she’d be a woman we love. Danica Patrick is ok… but we’ll take Milka please. Did we mention she’s Latin?

Links:
[MilkaDuno.com]: Official Site