Author: Vin

Vin is a Philly boy who shouldn't be invited into your house because he'll judge you on your book and music collection. He owns Dawkins, Utley, Iverson, and Lindros jerseys, which is all you really need to know about him. He can be reached at [email protected].

Categories
All Other Sports

No women in Sumo is a ban we support


Look, I’m all for equal rights. I really am. I hate the WNBA not because of the women athletes, I hate it because David Stern keeps trying to force it down our throats. But when it comes to women in Sumo wrestling, we really have to draw the line. You know that old joke about there are ten things men shouldn’t do and cheerleadling in 9 of them? Well, the same holds for women and Sumo wrestling. I don’t want to think about 300 pound women in little outfits shoving each other around.

However, not even allowing the female governor of Osaka to step on the mound to present the prize is a bit much. This is a sport where the athletes can’t even wipe their own ass, I’m not sure how “impure” a woman can be in the ring. Well, aside from the WWE that is.

[Slam! Sports]: Poll: Majority of sumo fans support ban on women in ring

Categories
Boston Red Sox

This Red Sox-Yankees rivalry is out of control

I guess they’re a little ticked off about Johnny Damon going to the evil empire in Lowell Massachusetts because they’re trying to remove the Yankees from their little league.

When you are a kid playing baseball it is pure fun and worrying about what team you are on should be the least of your concerns,” said Tim Bawmann, General Manager of the Spinners. “It becomes an issue where kids are devastated when they find out they are on the Yankees. Many kids actually pray they will not be on the Yankees when the rosters and teams are announced.

We figured the easiest and best solution was replace those Yankee teams with the Spinners, who are part of the Boston Red Sox system.

Seems awfully silly to me. Most kids playing little league are just happy they don’t have to play soccer. When you spend most of your time in right field picking your nose, you don’t really worry about what name is on your uniform. We can’t nearly muster up as much anger for this story as this guy though. His reaction is better than the story itself.

Categories
Satire

Best of Sports Satire this week – Feb 9 2006

Not every satire article is a home run. Here are the best ones from the usual suspects this week.

[Sports Pickle]: Officials Blame Seahawks Loss on Seahawks “The NFL officiating crew who called the Super Bowl XL match-up between Pittsburgh and Seattle has sounded off on the outcome of the game, blaming the Seahawks’ 11-point loss on the horrible play of the Seahawks.”

[Sports Pickle]: “Peyton Manning ready to prove all his doubters wrong at the Pro Bowl.”

[The Onion]: African Child Loves His `World Champion Seahawks’ T-Shirt “Semesseke added that if the Seahawks had included 80 cents a day along with the shirt, he could eat.”

[The Brushback]: Celtics-Timberwolves Trade Somehow Makes Both Teams Worse (Hmmm, this is supposed to be satire but isn’t it just true?)

Categories
Dallas Mavericks

Mark Cuban owns old white guy



Property of Mark Cuban

You gotta give it to Mark Cuban. First he insinuates that Phil Jackson is pussywhipped, then he says he owns him.


Phil has initiated an ongoing commentary about me that started in his previous stint with the Lakers and was reinstated this year with his return, that proves that I own the guy.

For whatever reason, I have gotten to Phil so completely and thoroughly that every time he comes to Dallas he has to offer unsolicited comments about me to the media. I wonder if he dreams about me the nights he spends here in Dallas. Ok, I dont wonder. Im curious about it.

I used to think Mark Cuban was a big dork but you gotta give it to a guy who will call out other high profile people. First it was calling Donald Trump…well, basically a prick. Now, he’s talking trash to the Zen Master, calling him his “bucket boy”. Someone needs to draw a cartoon with Cuban in the Mel Brooks role and Phil Jackson as the piss boy.

[Blog Maverick]: I Own Phil Jackson

Categories
General Sports

Odds and Ends for Feb 8 2006: Cheerleaders!

[Cayla Moran]: Italy hires cheerleaders for the Olympics

[KIRO TV]: Seahawks Fan Attacked For Wearing Team Jersey

[SF Chronicle]: Montana denies $100k fee request

[Steeler Blog]: Holmgren is Maxim.com’s “Today’s Girl”

[XM MLB Chat]: Johnny Damon has class

Categories
NBA General

NBA Power Rankings Roundup Feb 8 2006

Everyone is in love with the Clippers and Hornets this week. The Clip show is as high as #6 on some polls while Hornets are at #8. Meanwhile, Lakers, Bucks and Sixers lose steam. Here are the NBA Power Rankings by top sites this week:

Rank NBA.com ESPN FoxSports Sportsline SI Yahoo
1 Mavericks Pistons Mavericks Pistons Pistons Pistons
2 Pistons Mavericks Spurs Mavericks Mavericks Mavericks
3 Spurs Spurs Pistons Spurs Spurs Spurs
4 Suns Suns Suns Suns Suns Suns
5 Heat Heat Heat Heat Heat Clippers
6 Clippers Clippers Cavaliers Nuggets Cavaliers Heat
7 Cavaliers Heat Clippers Grizzlies Clippers Cavaliers
8 Hornets Cavaliers Hornets Nets Nuggets Nets
9 Grizzlies Hornets Nuggets Clippers Nets Grizzlies
10 Nuggets Grizzlies Bucks Lakers Grizzlies Hornets
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
NHL General

Operation Slap Shot busts Rick Tocchet for gambling ring



in deep trouble

“Operation Slap Shot” busted a gambling ring that was allegedly financed by Rick Tocchet, former hockey player and current assistant coach for the Phoenix Coyotes.

Within a 40 day period of this investigation, the New Jersey State Police detectives collected evidence of over 1,000 wagers exceeding 1.7 million dollars that were accepted by Harney, Ulmer and Tocchet at both collegiate and professional sporting events.

The NHL is quick to point out that none of the bets involved hockey. So far, only two other people have been questioned, Jeremy Roenick, who’s had his gambling problems in the past, and Janet Jones, wife of Wayne Gretzky. It is reported that numerous former and current hockey players used the service. The gambling ring has ties to the Bruno and Scarfo family of La Cosa Nostra. Man, I’m sure there are a lot of hockey players out there sweating it out. Expect a lot of denials in the coming weeks as this case gets uglier.

[AZ Republic]: Betting case rocks Coyotes
[KYW-TV]: Feds: Ex-Flyer Tocchet, Trooper Ran Gambling Ring

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NFL General

Super Bowl XLI odds are already out

Sportsbooks must not think the Steelers will be able to buy the refs next year because the current champs aren’t even the favorites to win next year’s Super Bowl.  Here are the Top 10 odds.

  1. Colts 13/2
  2. Patriots 10/1
  3. Steelers 11/1
  4. Broncos  12/1
  5. Seahawks 12/1
  6. Chargers 15/1
  7. Bengals 20/1
  8. Chiefs 22/1
  9. Panthers 22/1
  10. Bears 25/1

Given the history of Super Bowl losers in the last few years, I wouldn’t put any money on the Seahawks.  Of course unless the league decides it owes them one.  Am I getting way too cynical?

Categories
NBA General

Don Nelson goes to LA

Not to coach but to shoot a pilot for a TV show about an expansion basketball team, the San Diego Stingrays. (Rumor has it they’ll drop the Sting and just go by ‘Rays’ after a few year.) George Clooney is the producer and hopes to sell it to Showtime or HBO. Does anyone remember 1st and Ten on HBO? We’re hoping it’s going to be something like that.

Nellie takes a shot at Peter Vecsey in the show:


There was one scene, Nelson recounted, where the Stingrays are thinking about signing a new player. A sportswriter, Peter Vecsey , is quoted by general manager Nixon as saying two or three other teams are interested in the player. “Who cares?” Nelson said. “He’s wrong over half the time anyway.

[Ben Maller]: Former Mavs coach goes Hollywood?

Categories
Detroit Pistons

Dale Davis is ballin’ out of control



Kobe’s Song

The long awaited (I guess) movie from Dale Davis’ company, Playas Ball, will premier in Houston three days before the all-star game. I’m not sure if you remember but this movie caused a stir a couple of years ago because it featured a character who signs a big endorsement deal and then gets accused of date rape. Not a very controversial story line — except the movie was wrapped right before Kobe got arrested for his extracurricular activities in Colorado.

Almost 3 years later, Dale Davis finally got a distributor and you should be able to see the film this year. The only real star in the movie is Allen Payne, who I remember seeing in a bunch of movies but can’t name a single one except CB4 where he had such memorable lines as “Yeah, yeah, I’m lickin’ your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you’ve got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don’t care. You just got big balls.” Let’s hope this isn’t what Playas Ball is about.

Also in the movie are Treach from Naughty by Nature and MC Lyte. This doesn’t bode well for the movie. The only rapper who ever could act was Vanilla Ice in Cool as Ice… I mean Tupac in Juice.

[Detroit Free Press]: THE PISTONS’ SPIELBERG?