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All Other Sports

Not so fast, Justin Gatlin



Oops

The IAFF today corrected Justin Gatlin’s 100m time to 9.77 seconds, which only ties the previous record, not breaks it. The actually time of his sprint was 9.766 seconds, which should have been rounded up to 9.77 seconds, instead of truncating it to 9.76. So now Gatlin has to share the record instead of holding it by himself, which is kinda like being married to Angelina Jolie but still have Billy Bob Thornton hanging around and ruining your good time.

Think about this. If one less goddamn butterfly flutters its wings in the amazon, Gatlin might have the record. Do you know the difference is in .006 seconds? Do you know what you can do in .006 seconds? Nothing. It probably took you more time to read .006. There, it happened again.

IAFF spokesman Nick Davies said, “Obviously we’re disappointed for Justin Gatlin but he’s talented enough to come right back and break it again.” Gee… thanks, jackass. Also, Gatlin was named the USA Track and Field Athlete of the Week for setting the 100m record. We guess they’ll have to amend that press release.

Links:
[Telegraph UK]: Timing error costs Gatlin record

Categories
Soccer

Germany welcomes World Cup fans… except some of the darker ones

“Gesicht zeigen”, the German anti-tourism anti-racism organization is warning black soccer fans to stay away from parts of the eastern German state of Brandenburg. The head of the organizational, Uwe-Karsten Heye, warned of potential racially motivated attacks.


There are small and medium-sized towns in Brandenburg and other places where I would recommend that nobody with a different skin color go.

They would possibly not leave there alive.

The Brandenburg tourism page boasts of the idyllic countryside, lakes, castles, and gardens, but no mention of not leaving there alive if you’re of a different skin tone. Oh, those clever marketing people!


Links:
[Reuters]: Black soccer fans told to avoid parts of Germany

Categories
New York Knicks

Larry Brown is smarter than James Dolan


Larry Brown’s agent said that LB is not going anywhere and that he will either coach the Knicks or be fired. It might seem foolish to turn down a $25M buyout but why settle for $25M when you can get fired and get the whole $40M?

In Brown’s world, it’s better to be fired than to be thought of as a quitter. Either way, there will be a few GMs lining up to hire Brown as their next coach but if he’s fired, it’s the stupidity of the Knicks management, not because he quit on his team. He’ll just tell the next GM that it’s not until the second year of his plan, after he’s torn the team down, that the players start buying into his system and he can rebuild it back up.

Larry will end up getting 3 paychecks for 1 job. Man that guy is a genius. Everyone knows Larry’s M.O. yet they fall for it every time. Larry is all about Larry. The money, the accolades, the ego. It turns out Larry Brown is the T.O. of the NBA. Sure he’ll get you results but you’ll end up with a ton of grief dealing with his crap.

Links:
[NY Post]: BYE BUYOUT
[NY Daily News]: Knicks a real horror show

Categories
MLB General

Full Count for Wed May 17 2006: Yankees and Rangers put on a show

1. Offensive fireworks: The Yankees-Rangers series just seemed poised to be a great hitting series, and Tuesday’s game didn’t disappoint. The Rangers crushed Yankee pitching early, with 9 runs in the first two innings. The Yanks were scoreless at that point, but they never gave up. With a 6-run sixth inning on top of 5 previous runs, the Yankees came back from the 9-run deficit. The epic comeback matched the biggest in Yankees franchise history. With the game tied at 12 entering the ninth, the Rangers scored a run in the top of the inning off Mariano Rivera. But Jorge Posada hit a walkoff, 2-run shot to end this incredible game. Derek Jeter and Posada were the Yankees’ best offensive performers on the night, with a combined 6 hits, 5 runs, and 9 RBIs. For the Rangers, Hank Blalock homered and drove in 4, and Mark Teixeria went 4-5 with two doubles. The Rangers are hit with the loss despite 17 hits, which has to feel pretty bad. They are still leading the AL West at 20-18.

2. Upside down: The White Sox and Devil Rays are at opposite ends of the league, that’s for sure. The Sox have the best record in the majors and are defending world champs, while the Devil Rays are in last as always and their minor league teams are making news for the wrong reasons. With all of this, you would think that the White Sox could easily sweep the team. Wrong. Despite a 6-run 8th inning, the Sox lost to the D’Rays 10-7 in a game that wasn’t as close as the score suggests. Thome and Konerko both homered for Chicago, but the big news was Tampa Bay’s offense. They blasted Sox pitching for 12 hits and 2 homers, knocking out starter Brandon McCarthy in the 4th inning. Carl Crawford and Johnny Gomes each hit 3 ribbies, and Scott Kazmir pitched another fine start. Kazmir allowed one and stuck out 8 to improve to 6-2 on the season. He is on pace for a 25 win season, about the entire team’s win total the past few years.

3. They missed the D-Train: Let’s face it–Marlins ace Dontrelle Willis has been very disappointing this year. But when the Marlins finally got a good game out of him, they lost. Willis pitched 9 innings and allowed only 2 runs, but Braves starter Tim Hudson allowed the same. In extra innings, the Marlins scored a run in the top of the 11th. But the Brave answered back, with an Andruw Jones RBI double and later run, giving them a narrow 4-3 victory. The game wouldn’t have gone to extras if Jeff Francoeur hadn’t hit a game-tying homerun in the 9th. Francoeur is past his slow start–his hitting streak is now at 14 games. Atlanta is now a game away from .500 for the first time since April.

4. News flash!: There were huge, HUGE surprises at Jacobs Field on Tuesday night. The Cleveland Indians came into the game with five straight losses against their opponent, the powerful Kansas City Royals. In fact, wins against the Indians have made up half the Royals’ win total. But last night, the Indians rallied to win the game. Coming into the 9th down 4-3, a Grady Sizemore homer tied the game up. With a runner on and slugger Travis Hafner up, the Royals wouldn’t give him anything to hit, right? Well, no, Hafner actually went yard to win the game. Cleveland was finally able to end an embarrassing streak, though they are still well out of the lead in the suddenly tough AL Central division.

5. It’s almost Lima Time: Anybody who thinks Jose Lima is a good pitcher is nuts. The guy hasn’t been effective this millennium. His career ERA is 5.24. He even has a losing career record. So that’s why we’re glad that he’s getting one last start for the Mets. Plus, it’s just fun to say “It’s Lima Time” whenever he starts. Lima will be filling in for injured rookie Brian Bannister, and filling in poorly. Mets manager Willie said it would be a sign of “panic” to put in Bannister, though we think he will be more panicked watching Lima get knocked out of the third inning.

Categories
Dallas Mavericks

Hasselhoff makes Dirk Nowitzki clutch

Proving that you can be the second best basketball player on the planet and still be a big dork, Nowitzki revealed that his method of taking the pressure off before free throws is to sing “Looking for Freedom” by David Hasselhoff.

For those of you who don’t already know the song, check out this video. We’re not sure if this is the official video for the song because it includes KITT but it’s worth it just for the scenes of the Hof in some sort of foggy nature scene. Words cannot describe this video. Although after 3 viewings, the damn song… is kinda catchy.

If LeBron James comes out and says he shoots free throws singing Philip Michael Thomas to himself, the world will end as we know it.

Links:
[Fox Sports]: Nowitzki sings about his free throw ritual
[You Tube]: Hasselhoff live in Berlin singing Looking for Freedom with a lighted jacket and piano key scarf. (Again, words cannot describe.)

Categories
Miami Heat

Odds and Ends for Tues May 16 2006: Miami Heat Dancers in FHM

It was only a matter of time after winning the dance team tournament that the Miami Heat Dance team would end up in a men’s magazine. FHM has a few members of the team in the obligatory bikini poses. Most interesting is this tidbit:


Karelix on hazing “If you do make the team, the veterans are usually nice. One year, though, we made all the new girls wear Depends during an entire rehearsal.

Too bad we can’t substitute the Miami Dance team for the Northwestern Soccer team. Hey, like we said before, we don’t make up the rules.

In other news…

[Yahoo]: San Jose mayor apologizes for anthem booing

[Fangraphs.com]: More out of the ordinary stats than you can shake a pink bat at

[Golf Blog]: Michelle Wie wins local qualifier to move one step closer to Men’s US Open

[Yahoo]: Judge rules that golfers aren’t eligible for errant golf shots… hoooray!

[120 proof ball]: Majerle told Fox Sports Net’s Best Damn Sports Show Period that Charles Barkley’s estimate of losing 10 million bucks gambling was a tad light. I think that’s being real conservative, because he lost about $5 million to (Danny) Ainge and I in shootarounds….When he left Phoenix, my income took a big hit.

Categories
Soccer

More on the Northwestern Womens Soccer hazing

God bless the internet. Badjocks.com runs a bunch of pictures of a hazing incident involving the womens soccer team at Northwestern and that’s how school administrators and parents find out about it. School officials have confirmed that the pics were indeed of the womens soccer team but could not ascertain when the hazing took place but thinks they are from last August because that’s what the website reported.

Northwestern AD Mark Murphy has suspended the team indefinitely and are looking to see if the allegations of hazing are true. Hmmm… if those pics aren’t of a hazing, we’d like to know what team activity involves being stripped to your underwear and having your hands tied behind your back. (Besides the Abu Ghraib softball league that is.)

Let us remind you that the investigation into the Duke lacrosse scandal by school officials came as a result of an overheard conversation. Do school administrators have any idea whats happening on their campuses? I’m sure they are shocked, shocked! to find that underage drinking occurs on their watch.

Finally, a note on the media. First, since they won’t ever paint outside the lines, we have to rely on good ole internet blogs to post actual photo goodness of the event. Second, the Chicago Tribune said, “Badjocks.com seeks to expose abuse of athletes.” Hah! We love badjocks… but precisely because their whole bread and butter is showing us what some stupid athlete has done today. The Chicago Trib seems to be under the impression that Badjocks is some sort of sports version of Amnesty International.

Links:
[Chicago Tribune]: NU probes alleged hazing
[Chicago Sun Times]: ‘Wild’ Cats? Soccer team benched
[Daily Northwestern]: NU team accused of hazing

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Cavaliers fans cheer Rasheed’s injury

How many times have you heard that Philly fans cheered when Michael Irvin went down with a spine injury? That happened seven years ago. How long do you think anyone will bring up the fact that Cavs fans cheered when Rasheed rolled his ankle and had to (temporarily) leave the game? That story has the shelf life of about 3 days. Cleveland fans throw bottles onto the field, cheered when their own QB was inured, and, now, cheer opposing player injuries. Yet, somehow, Philly fans are the worst. We’re calling bullshit.

Meanwhile… back to the series. Rasheed and the Pistons couldn’t back up his guaranteed victory in game 4 but that didn’t keep Sheed from guaranteeing a series victory.


Even the sun shines on a dog’s ass. There ain’t no way . . . they’re going to beat us in no series. They beat us tonight, which is good for them. . . . But, nah, they ain’t going to beat us in the series.

You gotta hand it to the guy. In a world of “we’re going to take it one game at a time”, “they are a quality opponent”, and “she said she was 18, your honor”, it’s refreshing to have Sheed in the mix.

Links:

[Cleveland Plain Dealer]: Limping Wallace still running mouth
[Detroit Free Press]: MIRCH ALBOM: No more guarantees because talk is cheap
[Yay Sports]: The Pistons are in denial

Categories
NBA General

This is why the NBA kicks the NHL’s ass

You just have to watch this video medley of various Ali G NBA commercials to understand why the NBA playoffs are watched by everyone and OLN gets less ratings than reruns of Night Court. Listening to Denis Leary or Keifer Sutherland’s voice-over work for “my Stanley Cup” somehow doesn’t make us want to watch more NHL. But Ali G? Genius.

Categories
Miami Dolphins

Lookout underaged girls… Dolphins sign Marcus Vick

Proving once again that with enough talent, somebody is going to take a shot at a reclamation project, the Dolphins signed Marcus Vick as a “slash”. He’s listed as quarterback/wide receiver/specialist but the Dolphins didn’t even work him out at the QB position on the last day of the three day mini-camp so any playing time he gets will be at the WR or kick return position. That is, if he even makes the team.

Nick Saban issued a CYA statement:

I want to make it very clear that we will not condone any behavior issues in the future relative to Marcus Vick. Marcus acknowledges that he has made some mistakes, all of which have resulted in severe consequences for him. They have helped him learn that he will need to make much better choices and decisions in the future or risk similar consequences that could jeopardize his career as a professional.

As an organization, we did an enormous amount of research, including consulting with professionals in detailed, in-depth analysis to feel comfortable that giving Marcus an opportunity as a free agent is a risk worth taking. Marcus has made a commitment to this organization and our fans to represent the Miami Dolphins in a first-class manner.

We think first class means only brandishing firearms outside 4 star restaurants, not McDonalds. Somehow we don’t think Marcus Vick is going to be able to stay on the straight and narrow but if he’s able to have half the career that Antwaan Randle El has had, he’ll be lucky.

Links:
[Miami Herald]: Younger Vick joins Dolphins